Lloyd Carr give his 'Checkers' speech

Michigan coach Lloyd Carr has to be done at the end of the year. Has to be.

How else can one explain his rambling press conference after the loss to Oregon?

Carr's granddaughter goes to school with some kid named Peter. Carr's daughter met Peter and asked him how he was doing.

"What I want to know," Peter said, "is how Lloyd Carr is doing?"

Typical Peter. Always thinking of others. Little dude makes sure everyone else has had some paste before he will partake of the gooey goodness.

Nice story.

Carr decides to answer Peter at his press conference.

"I've got a message for Peter," Carr said. "I'm doing great, because I've got great kids here."

In case Peter was watching SpongeBob or something, Carr kept going.

"You don't know me, but those who do know me - friend and foe - I think would agree that I'm a tough-minded, competitive guy, and there isn't anything that comes my way that I can't handle professionally. There is nothing - there is NOTHING - that can keep me down. Not a loss to Appalachian State. Not a loss to Oregon. Not 100 losses. And not the loss of my job. I think the same thing can be said for our team here, and for the guys who play football here at Michigan."

WTFucklion?

"Peter, what I would say to you is this: You're probably going to lose a lot of games the next few years. My advice to you is, when you lose, don't make excuses. Don't blame your coaches, your teammates, the officials."

At this point Peter probably asks his parents why the crazy man is on tv.

"Just play every day as hard as you can, and regardless of what the outcome of those games are, you keep your head high. Because if you're doing everything you can to the best of your ability, you have nothing - NOTHING - to be embarrassed about."

Except wetting your bed, Peter.

And losing to Appalachian State.