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Liveblogging Texas vs Iowa State

How exciting!

Current weather forecast for Ames says 53 degrees and raining.

Current football forecast for Iowa State says 85 players and sucking.

Corn fed chicks. Too bad you can't make meth out of corn.

Random shot of some swans walking down a sidewalk. The Ames Board of Tourism wants you to believe it's just like Paris.

Iowa State receives.

Bret Meyer was raised by white parents. You'll understand when you watch him try to make plays off schedule.

Scott Derry might have a 3.8, but he failed geometry.

Dave Lapham just described Iowa State as a loose woman. They have to make Texas 'respect them.'

Chizik is dressed like Robert Duvall in 'The Great Santini.' He's going to throw the football at Todd Blythe and ask him if he's going to 'squirt a few.'

Long pass to Shipley, and it's 7-0. I think Chizik had 11 men in the box on that play. Can we just call broken plays?

Fox decides not to show the kickoff.

Killibrew runs himself out of the play. At least I think he did. I'm not a coach, and football is hard.

Bobino runs straight into the center's arms screaming 'block me!'

We send Derry and Bobino on a delayed blitz. Iowa State does not delay in completing the pass.

Our linebackers are bad. Chizik knows this better than anyone.

How the fuck is that interference with triple coverage? Oh, Erick Jackson is still looking for the ball.

Iowa State is coaching their running backs to take the cut back. Bobino just blitzes himself out of every other play.

Missed the field goal. Who is the fat guy standing behind Chizik? Does he have his own Mad Dog?

Do I dare take a peek at Iowa-Illinois or Georgia Tech-Miami? Those are my choices. Fuck you, Adam Smith.

Nebraska needs to fire Mackovic.

Dave Lapham has no inner monologue.

We've yet to run it.

Lots of empty set.

McCoy looks good. Still has happy feet though.

Empty set on 1st and goal. Secondary gets kind of crowded down there, Greg.

McCoy makes things happen when the play breaks down, and he throws well rolling out.

Two broken plays, two touchdowns.

Backup linebackers are in.

Jim Knox dresses like an NBC page.

We need to change our cleats.

Zone blitz on 3rd and 10.

Nice play by Foster on the fade. When you have a 6'5" receiver, you run the fade.

Option to the short side of the field. Greg Davis has hacked into their communications!

Commercials from eHarmony and the AARP. That's one helluva target audience.

Chiles in. QB draw goes nowhere.

Get the ball to McGee with his shoulders square.

That time out is on Chiles.

Ogbonnaya runs stiff. Needs to get his knees up.

Dave Lapham is still explaining a penalty that happened two plays ago. Must be for the loveless senior citizens watching.

Killibrew with the personal foul. Senior leadership. If a customer says they don't like your cooking, you spit in their food. You dont' grab them by the facemask.

Remember when McWilliams substituted the entire 2nd team offensive line against Colorado in 1990?

Jim Knox just called Muckelroy everything but his own name. I think he finally called him 'McElmore.'

Iowa State cheerleaders just did a dance move I haven't seen since 'House Party.' Maybe it was just released on DVD in Ames.

Three nice runs by Charles. And by 'nice' I mean he didn't fumble.

Killibrew makes a tackle and talks shit. 'Cordon Bleu goes the dynamite!'

Derek Lokey is a great defensive tackle. That being said, watching him run in space makes Baby Jesus cry.

Killibrew gets his second personal foul. Both of them on special teams. We take over and thus spare Brown the indignity of having to take him off the field.

Billy Pittman is playing like a man (who had his car) repossessed.

Is Strother Martin the play by play announcer at Iowa St?

Jim Knox is interviewing Mack Brown. I could literally watch that for hours.

Nebraska is down 38-0 at the half to Oklahoma State. This is the worst Nebraska defense I've seen since The People vs. Lawrence Phillips.

Evander Holyfield is either doing commercials for Sylvan Learning Center or fighting again. Hard to tell after watching that promo.

Chizik is confused. How do you stop the run against a team that doesn't run the ball?

Iowa State corners play 7 yards off on 3rd and 4. Which came first? The Chizik or the Akina?

Another broken play, another touchdown.

Nice tackle by Kindle.

Foster with the int for a touchdown. Getting the all important turnover when we were clinging to a 35-3 lead.

Norton just made a tackle on the sideline on a toss sweep. At least I think he did. It will require film breakdown by the coaches to make sure.

Meyer is throwing everything high. Not stepping into this throws.

Nice shot of Iowa St cheerleader who looks like Paul Bettany.

No commercial break in between possessions. The advertisers have stopped caring.

Scott Derry looks like a white Harvey Williams in pads.

I hope those guys weren't advertising majors.

Kindle tackles with authority. Next play Deon Beasley makes a diving interception. Our future is bright on defense.

Wow. McCoy scrambles for a 44 yard touchdown. Broken play, touchdown.

Mercifully put Chiles in.

This is going to be a long 4th quarter.

This wet field is slowing down Chiles' cuts.

Enough of this. I'm going to switch over to Tech and A&M.

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What happened to the retro-unis? One time deal?

by kujotx on Oct 13, 2007 11:44 AM CDT reply actions  

Just showed Iowa State’s cutest cheerleader. It was like showing Stalin’s best personality trait.

by Scipio Tex on Oct 13, 2007 11:48 AM CDT reply actions  

Gene Chizik lives!!!!!!!
 
That was hilarious.

by Scipio Tex on Oct 13, 2007 11:49 AM CDT reply actions  

Paint bitches.

by LonghornJ on Oct 13, 2007 11:50 AM CDT reply actions  

I laughed.

by SizzleChest on Oct 13, 2007 11:51 AM CDT reply actions  

Iowa State’s coverage breaks down the moment they break the huddle.

by kujotx on Oct 13, 2007 11:52 AM CDT reply actions  

It looks like Chizik does remember that Killibrew isn’t good.

by kchorn04 on Oct 13, 2007 11:55 AM CDT reply actions  

Iowa State coaches wear gay sweater vests.

by LonghornJ on Oct 13, 2007 11:57 AM CDT reply actions  

Face rape.

by LonghornJ on Oct 13, 2007 11:59 AM CDT reply actions  

Akina is a farce. We’re run blitzing our LBs on every play.

by Scipio Tex on Oct 13, 2007 12:02 PM CDT reply actions  

I am guessing that on Mack’s stat sheet for this game, Killebrew has 137 tackles and Erick Jackson has 8 passes defended with a plethora of smiley faces.

by kchorn04 on Oct 13, 2007 12:04 PM CDT reply actions  

Either Chiz’s head is small or that headset is really big.

by SizzleChest on Oct 13, 2007 12:04 PM CDT reply actions  

Dude, you didn’t have to hold. Derry’s angle took himself out of the play himself.

by kujotx on Oct 13, 2007 12:04 PM CDT reply actions  

Why does the Big XII commercial highlight 12 BCS appearances? Are we celebrating automatic inclusion in a monopoly?

by kchorn04 on Oct 13, 2007 12:06 PM CDT reply actions  

face rape belongs up there with fuck lion…

by mileslong on Oct 13, 2007 12:08 PM CDT reply actions  

we only score on busted plays…

by mileslong on Oct 13, 2007 12:09 PM CDT reply actions  

Their fans can’t even do a convincing limp-wristed Hook ’em. You just want to tickle the cute little bastards before you shove them out of a moving pickup….

by kujotx on Oct 13, 2007 12:10 PM CDT reply actions  

“Who is the fat guy standing behind Chizik? Does he have his own Mad Dog?”

Ken Sheppard. He took him from MadDog’s staff. Addition by subtraction for our staff.

by NavyHorn16 on Oct 13, 2007 12:11 PM CDT reply actions  

Ouch. Nebraska’s Big XII Tour Of Shame 2007 continues. 10 – 0 Oklahoma State

by kujotx on Oct 13, 2007 12:12 PM CDT reply actions  

Dang. We’re missing our “Todd Blythe”, Limas Sweed.

by kujotx on Oct 13, 2007 12:13 PM CDT reply actions  

Mack and Greg are punishing Jamaal by passing every down.

by SizzleChest on Oct 13, 2007 12:13 PM CDT reply actions  

Ogbaya and ogneeya. Awesome. I can’t wait for the next attempt.

by HoustonHorn on Oct 13, 2007 12:14 PM CDT reply actions  

It has been all Ogbonnoya & McGee so far.
 
Our coaches are getting tough!!!!!!!!!

by Scipio Tex on Oct 13, 2007 12:15 PM CDT reply actions  

Lapham had the worst pronunciation of Ogbonnaya’s name ever.

by kchorn04 on Oct 13, 2007 12:15 PM CDT reply actions  

The Derron Montgomery of Texas, Nate Jones, makes a great catch.

by kujotx on Oct 13, 2007 12:15 PM CDT reply actions  

I think Duane Akina sucks considerably more than Greg Davis. He’s in a dead heat with Bull Reese, both of whom made Chizik almost look good. Greg Robinson actually was good. I think.

by jimmyjazz on Oct 13, 2007 12:15 PM CDT reply actions  

Does Cosby have the best hands in Texas history?

by Scipio Tex on Oct 13, 2007 12:16 PM CDT reply actions  

Did they really call Scott Derry “Auston English”? I think that’s grounds for a lawsuit on English’s part.

by jimmyjazz on Oct 13, 2007 12:16 PM CDT reply actions  

Quan Cosby=Dwight Clark

Except for the short and black thing.

by SizzleChest on Oct 13, 2007 12:16 PM CDT reply actions  

We need to find a way to convince Mack that our starting linebackers have a fumbling problem.

by kevwun on Oct 13, 2007 12:17 PM CDT reply actions  

Did Fox lose Colt’s pic, who are they showing in his stat banner?

by kujotx on Oct 13, 2007 12:17 PM CDT reply actions  

another broken play TD…keep’em comin’ greg!

by mileslong on Oct 13, 2007 12:17 PM CDT reply actions  

colt got better looking since all the concussions

by mileslong on Oct 13, 2007 12:18 PM CDT reply actions  

mileslong wants to fuck Colt.

by SizzleChest on Oct 13, 2007 12:20 PM CDT reply actions  

the lure of the fuck colt is strong…

by mileslong on Oct 13, 2007 12:20 PM CDT reply actions  

Close your eyes.
 
Imagine a short, scrappy possession wide receiver with hands made of glue…
 
Imagine that he is full of spirit and intangibles…
 
Imagine that he is gutty and reliable and always a competitor despite not having great talent…
 
Now…imagine THAT HE IS BLACK.
 
Blew your mind didn’t it?
 
That just happened.

by Scipio Tex on Oct 13, 2007 12:21 PM CDT reply actions  

Get Kindle out of the game. You’re not supposed to hit that hard. Someone could get hurt.

by kevwun on Oct 13, 2007 12:24 PM CDT reply actions  

Face rape. x2

by LonghornJ on Oct 13, 2007 12:27 PM CDT reply actions  

Little people.

by SizzleChest on Oct 13, 2007 12:28 PM CDT reply actions  

Our defense is getting used by the worst offense in the Big 12. Scales averaging 6+ per pop.
 
Comfort hires are a bitch.

by Scipio Tex on Oct 13, 2007 12:29 PM CDT reply actions  

According to the Dave Lapham, Todd Blythe has good “high point ability.”
 
The rest of the world calls this…jumping.

by Scipio Tex on Oct 13, 2007 12:31 PM CDT reply actions  

Comfort hire, yes, but really it was just Duane’s turn to start. You know, seniority.

by SizzleChest on Oct 13, 2007 12:32 PM CDT reply actions  

Iowa State has 37 first downs in the first 17 minutes.

by Sailor Ripley on Oct 13, 2007 12:34 PM CDT reply actions  

That’s our entire second team offense.

by srr50 on Oct 13, 2007 12:37 PM CDT reply actions  

O-bunny-A with the 1st down.

by kchorn04 on Oct 13, 2007 12:40 PM CDT reply actions  

oh bunny yay with the option pitch

by mileslong on Oct 13, 2007 12:40 PM CDT reply actions  

Dave Lapham is extremely bright. He just learned that a team can decline a penalty.

by Scipio Tex on Oct 13, 2007 12:42 PM CDT reply actions  

Nice wasted possession. How cute.
 
Playing Chiles with our starters would spoil him.

by Scipio Tex on Oct 13, 2007 12:43 PM CDT reply actions  

brilliant move by davis giving chiles the second team offense…

by mileslong on Oct 13, 2007 12:43 PM CDT reply actions  

Killebrewwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!
 
God, I’ve never wanted a player to graduate more.

by Scipio Tex on Oct 13, 2007 12:44 PM CDT reply actions  

Killabrew has a personal foul. Can you believe it.

Why can’t the refs do us a favor and eject him from the game?

by NavyHorn16 on Oct 13, 2007 12:44 PM CDT reply actions  

Huskers down 24-0 to OSU.

Somewhere Frank Solich is drinking.

by kchorn04 on Oct 13, 2007 12:45 PM CDT reply actions  

killabrew with the finger rape…

by mileslong on Oct 13, 2007 12:45 PM CDT reply actions  

Mack is probably in the process of petitioning the NCAA for Killebrew’s 5th year.

by kchorn04 on Oct 13, 2007 12:47 PM CDT reply actions  

scott dairy with the gansta strut…

by mileslong on Oct 13, 2007 12:50 PM CDT reply actions  

Mack needs to play Ishie Oduegwu. He needs to do it now. Lapham and Knox may just put a gun to their heads if he does.

by kchorn04 on Oct 13, 2007 12:51 PM CDT reply actions  

jamarcus charles in the game

by mileslong on Oct 13, 2007 12:54 PM CDT reply actions  

Personal foul… face rape.

by LonghornJ on Oct 13, 2007 1:01 PM CDT reply actions  

The “Face Rape” comment from the first quarter is already on youtube.

Here.

by BSG on Oct 13, 2007 1:02 PM CDT reply actions  

Killebrew, another personal foul.
 
Why is he on scholarship?

by Scipio Tex on Oct 13, 2007 1:02 PM CDT reply actions  

Jim Knox takes awkward to another level.

by kchorn04 on Oct 13, 2007 1:03 PM CDT reply actions  

i wish we would run the fucking broken play again…

by mileslong on Oct 13, 2007 1:04 PM CDT reply actions  

Mack Brown picture reminds us that Assistant Coaches were once required to wear helmets.

by kchorn04 on Oct 13, 2007 1:05 PM CDT reply actions  

mccaffrey with the score! on a real play as well, doesnt get any better than that…

by mileslong on Oct 13, 2007 1:11 PM CDT reply actions  

Good call from Davis throwing against a Chizik D on every down.

by Scipio Tex on Oct 13, 2007 1:11 PM CDT reply actions  

clap clap, a few cliches to botox knox and off to the lockeroom for half time, killa brew gets a penalty on the way and the iowa state cheerleaders start grazing the field…

by mileslong on Oct 13, 2007 1:18 PM CDT reply actions  

MOAR FACE RAPE

by LonghornJ on Oct 13, 2007 1:35 PM CDT reply actions  

has anyone ever considered not having a morbidly obese man as the conditioning coach?

by alma on Oct 13, 2007 1:38 PM CDT reply actions  

another great broken play from davis as he sits smiling, writing down that TD down in his stat book that he gives to mack to read when goes to the toilet…

by mileslong on Oct 13, 2007 1:43 PM CDT reply actions  

How hard is it to pronounce “Jones”

by NavyHorn16 on Oct 13, 2007 1:46 PM CDT reply actions  

that’s the blueprint of the greg davis offense. set it up so your players only have to break 3 tackles to make a big play.

by longhornmatt on Oct 13, 2007 1:47 PM CDT reply actions  

I think Bret Meyer is Iowan for Robert Killibrew.

by kchorn04 on Oct 13, 2007 1:51 PM CDT reply actions  

I smell a conference victory, baby.

by Sailor Ripley on Oct 13, 2007 1:56 PM CDT reply actions  

Put Chiles in the game you dumb shits.

by Sailor Ripley on Oct 13, 2007 2:03 PM CDT reply actions  

our first conference victory since… fuck, who cares.

by MIA on Oct 13, 2007 2:12 PM CDT reply actions  

We are punishing Finley for that Oklahoma performance. Has he even gotten a target?

by BRAGGonUT on Oct 13, 2007 2:13 PM CDT reply actions  

Just how Greg drew it up.

by NavyHorn16 on Oct 13, 2007 2:13 PM CDT reply actions  

and another GD busted play TD. he smiles and scribbles down another TD called by him with his cheeto stained stubby fingers…

by mileslong on Oct 13, 2007 2:15 PM CDT reply actions  

After Colt ran it in for 49-3, I was hoping we’d hear Lapham talk about the great relationship and weekly conversations between Brown and Chizik.

by kchorn04 on Oct 13, 2007 2:16 PM CDT reply actions  

jermichaelus mcfinley will be punished for weeks for showing up against OU

by mileslong on Oct 13, 2007 2:16 PM CDT reply actions  

scipio, where’s your OU-UT analysis?

by old ut fan on Oct 13, 2007 2:17 PM CDT reply actions  

God, these announcers take “suck” to another level.

by jimmyjazz on Oct 13, 2007 2:25 PM CDT reply actions  

hey everyone, “Benji The Hunted” is on ch 21 WGN!

by old ut fan on Oct 13, 2007 2:25 PM CDT reply actions  

i have never watched this much EMU football before waiting on the tech game to come on…

by mileslong on Oct 13, 2007 2:42 PM CDT reply actions  

Is someone liveblogging the Tech game? I’m not sure anyone can type that quickly.

by jimmyjazz on Oct 13, 2007 2:45 PM CDT reply actions  

so we take our starting fullback, put him in the spread, hand him the ball to run out the clock, and get him hurt.

smart, real smart.

pf Greg Davis

by srr50 on Oct 13, 2007 2:56 PM CDT reply actions  

Fumble, ISU. Recovery, Texas.

We are going to win the BCS title. Mark it down.

by jimmyjazz on Oct 13, 2007 3:01 PM CDT reply actions  

Mack gives Gene his patented “sorry we beat you 56-3” neck hug and we’re done.

by jimmyjazz on Oct 13, 2007 3:03 PM CDT reply actions  

Remember the face rape. That turned the tide.

by LonghornJ on Oct 13, 2007 3:16 PM CDT reply actions  

aggy is marching all over tech

by MIA on Oct 13, 2007 3:18 PM CDT reply actions  

Funny, sharp stuff, HJ. I can always appreciate the kind of quick-witted sarcasm you’re bringing. Maybe it’s because I think the same way sometimes but am a bit more gun-shy to say it. Hook ’em

by SlickStreet on Oct 14, 2007 2:28 PM CDT reply actions  

Our starting fullback (Antwan Cobb) tore his ACL while helping us “nurse” a 50-point lead. He is out for the rest of the season.

Why does Greg Davis hate Fullbacks freedom?

by srr50 on Oct 14, 2007 3:01 PM CDT reply actions  

Holy shit I can’t believe someone else not only noticed but remembers McWilliams substituting the entire 2nd team line in the ’90 Colorado game. Possibly one of the dumbest coaching moves ever made by someone not named Les.

by earmuffs on Oct 14, 2007 9:06 PM CDT reply actions  

we can afford to keep GD if he is Mack’s buddy, but lets bring
in someone with a brain to fill the role of “special assistant to
the offensive coordinator”. I suspect Mack got involved after
the KState game.

by retrobater on Oct 14, 2007 9:26 PM CDT reply actions  

my pee pee hurts when I watch Greg Davis

by Hank James Junior on Oct 14, 2007 10:55 PM CDT reply actions  

I know I’m late, but KC, in regards to this:

“Why does the Big XII commercial highlight 12 BCS appearances? Are we celebrating automatic inclusion in a monopoly?”

The BCS isn’t 12 years old. It started with the ‘98 season, so there have only been 9 years of BCS bowls to date… meaning the Big XII has put 2 teams in BCS Bowls several times. It’s actually not that impressive, the Big 10 has put 15 teams in BCS bowls, and the SEC has put 13.

by hornian on Oct 15, 2007 12:04 AM CDT reply actions  

“Nebraska is down 38-0 at the half to Oklahoma State. This is the worst Nebraska defense I’ve seen since The People vs. Lawrence Phillips.”

As a lifelong Husker fan, this season is even more embarassing than the midget’s first year as head coach. Our only hope is to fire the AD and the entire coaching staff, and try to apologize to Bo Pellini (by way of a fat contract and the head of Stevie P) so he can reintroduce the advanced concept of “tackling” to the D.

by Grange95 on Oct 15, 2007 11:58 AM CDT reply actions  

“Dave Lapham has no inner monologue.”

NO SHIT!!!!!! i HATE fsn guys. Are there really no other people that can do the games then what they’ve got? Honestly the man doesn’t stf up. It drives me apeshit when he and that guy with the robot voice does the games

by StoopsGetsPissed on Oct 15, 2007 2:17 PM CDT reply actions  

The 1st axe has fallen in Lincoln. Steve Pederson’s shitcanning will bee announced at 4, just in time to somewhat restore Husker appetites for Monday dinner after all the Saturday afternoon power vomiting. Bring me a bucket my ass, I needed a full trough.

by SeeingRed on Oct 15, 2007 2:56 PM CDT reply actions  

I am jonesin for updates. my bc jones must be met. Hornfans is running like poo.

by MIA on Oct 15, 2007 4:19 PM CDT reply actions  

A lot of the Barkers are currently interviewing in Lincoln right now, please be patient.

by Vasherized on Oct 15, 2007 5:28 PM CDT reply actions  

scally to Nebraska for AD!

by MIA on Oct 15, 2007 6:40 PM CDT reply actions  

How about Pongetti for OC?

by Macanudo on Oct 15, 2007 7:11 PM CDT reply actions  

mileslong for aggie headcoach

Henry James for Nebraska AD after all he is a corn……

by utstudboy on Oct 16, 2007 10:49 AM CDT reply actions  

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