USC Trojans share jock straps

I don’t know if this will be worth a shit to read, but the title made me laugh.

Tinea, salmonella, and Rocky Mountain spotted fever: the building blocks of any good summer workout. Or Angolan refugee camp.

“As if burning sensations and upset stomachs weren’t enough, offensive lineman Jeff Byers has been diagnosed with Rocky Mountain spotted fever and is being treated with antibiotics.”

The Mack Brown Curse does not sleep.

Zee USC Trojans, zee share me? Oui, oui! Zat is a grande idea, mon ami! Bonjour!

Each day, it seems, another player shows up at USC football practice with a pained expression and an uncomfortable gait, feet spread wide, stepping gingerly across the turf.

Must be the mating season.

In related news, Paris Hilton announced that she has legally changed her name to “Compression Shorts.”

“…employing measures such as washing uniforms in hotter water.”

I’ve found that adding detergent helps too. But I’ve only been doing laundry and other thankless shit for years, instead of coaching God’s gift to football to eleventeen straight national titles.

Sorry about that. I’m out of Midol.

get off the internet bitch and get my supper started

Bill, honey, you do realize that I leave the Help Wanted ads taped to the bathroom mirror for a reason, don’t you?

and the answer is: Nebraska and my wife

name 2 groups of people I’ve fucked

MOM! We need that meatloaf. NOW!

What is she doing back there?

hello, i adore miss hilton. she is funny and i can’t wait to hear what she will do next! x

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