Barking Bets Week 8

Went a stellar 2-4 last week and lost my two unit bet on the L$U Tigers. Perhaps they're threatening a work stoppage in Baton Rouge. No group health or matching 401K or someshit. Who knows? That makes my record on the year...well...bad. So the good news for the 3 broke SOB's tailing my picks is that I'm due. In a big way.

At the very least, I'm really excited about the card this week. You see, I had a revelation a few days ago. So I'm sitting in the tank at Scipio's house and I reach down to the magazine rack to find some reading material. Not being terribly particular when in this state, I pick up a water-logged copy of Chicken Soup for the Soul. After thinking, what a pussy, I decide that it's better than the Home and Garden cover article that fiercly debates snaps and pansies vs. clown mix petunias for seasonal fall color. Come to think of it, Scipio's always been good at growing shit.

cock
Half-cocked picks.

So, anyway, as I thumb through this self help favorite, I come across the dog-eared chapter titled Step Out of Your Comfort Zone. Well that explains Scip's switch from Zima to vodka sodas, I think to myself. Well, I read on and nearly knock out the entire chapter before I pass the sombrero shaped heroin balloon finish, but that's beside the point. The important thing is that this 15 minutes in the john inspired me and my approach to gambling. Stepping out of my comfort zone, as I interpret it, requires me to pick more winners. You know, against the number. Something I haven't done going on three weeks now. Frankly, I don't know how I would act if I had a winning weekend. I may drink less. Hell I may drink more. I'm interested to find out.

And lucky for you, you can take advantage of this epiphany which is for entertainment purposes only. If Chicken Soup doesn't work, I'll turn to science where Huck seems to be knocking it out of the park with some algorithmic formulas and shit. Or check out Scipio's Big 12 picks which have done rather well. Chicken soup eatin' m-fer. On to my picks...

Georgia Tech -2 @ Clemson. 1 unit. Chaos has its privledges especially when it goes up against painstaking precision. In this case we get to take advantage of the chaos and backbiting going on in Death Valley which will be exploited by the military like discipline of Paul Johnson's Yellow Jacket club. This game opened at Ga Tech +3 but sharp money has pounded this line across the pick 'em threshold. Normally disappearing line value would make this a no play for me, but I made this game GA Tech -4 before the lines came out. Still plenty of value especially when you consider Bowden is being flayed by his own players in the media.

johnson
Johnson was military when military wasn't cool.

Numbers wise, the game is pretty evenly matched, but look for the Jacket rushing attack, similar to that of Wake's, to give Clemson trouble. Defensively, Georgia Tech will smother Clemson's offense which is getting zero quarterback play at this point in the season. 24 to 10 Jackets.

Ohio State-3 @ Michigan State. 2 units. On the flip side of the Jacket game, what tremendous value this line offers as the Buckeyes travel to East Lansing. This line would probably be closer to 7 if Michigan State would have justly lost to Iowa in a game that saw the Hawkeyes fumble twice inside the Spartan's ten. I chalk up the tiny 3 point spread to the anemic offense the Terrel Pryor led Bucks have trotted out the last few weeks. The Spartans have struggled with competent rushing attacks, however, giving up 7 yards a carry to Indiana, 6 yards a carry to Cal, and 5.5 yards a carry to the spread rushing attack of Northwestern. Defensively, tOSU's defense was tailor made to stop Javon Ringer and the Spartan rushing attack. The bet comes down to Brian Hoyer and whether or not he can throw it against tOSU's athletes. He couldn't effectively pass against Iowa, Northwestern, or Florida Atlantic. I'm betting he can't against the Buckeyes. 28 to 17 Ohio State.

Pitt -3 @ Navy. 2 units. Another short line here in my opinion especially when you consider the Panther's resurgent 4-0 win streak after the upset loss to Bowling Green. Look for Lesean McCoy, who in my mind is the best back in America, to have a huge game against Navy. In its only game against a competent traditional rushing attack, the Cadets gave up 206 yards rushing and 6 yards a carry to a Rutgers team that hasn't really run the ball well this year. Pitt on the other hand has moved the ball well against two good defenses in Iowa and South Florida. I also like the spot in this game with Pitt having 16 days to prepare for Navy's option attack. Navy was idle last week, as well, but they're coming off an emotional win over Air Force. I like Pitt to slow the Navy offense down with its athletes, and move the ball effectively on offense with the balanced attack of McCoy and QB Bill Stull. Pitt 31 to 21.

mccoy
Best player you've never heard of.

Iowa -3 vs. Wisconsin. 1 unit. Imagine if Iowa hadn't spit the bit vs. Michigan State. This number would be 5.5 or 6. Huge value pitting two teams going opposite directions. Wisconsin is a bottom feeder in the Big 10 despite popular belief. The Badgers choked a 3 TD lead against a bad Michigan team, shot their wad and lost a heart breaker to the Buckeyes in Madison, and then validated their shittiness by getting fisted at home by Penn State. Do you think they'll be sky high for little ole Iowa? I doubt it. It just so happens Ferentz's little ole Hawkeyes are the third best team in the Big 10. Yes, I'd take them over Michigan State. I know they've lost 3 of 4, but their 3 losses include a 1 point loss at Pitt, a five turnover fiasco vs. Northwestern, and highway robbery losing a 3 point game at East Lansing. Did they quit? No. They went to Indiana and piss-punched the Hoosiers. Can't say the same for the Badgers. Wisky won't be able to line up and run the ball on Iowa. So how else will they move it? I like Iowa to win a low scoring game 17 to 6.

Again, thanks to Scipio for the inspiration. I was joking about the black tar heroin.

Good luck with your action.

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