Barking Carnival to Big 12: Drop Dead

I am really looking forward to our bowl game.

I am really looking forward to next year’s schedule, when we get to show our appreciation to the coaches of the Big 12.

So, I guess we don’t need anyone to snap the ball on the first team. Who the fuck honorably mentioned Marlon Williams?

Jorvorskie Lane made the second team. His stats for the year: 35-93 and 5 tds. These coaches are some lazy fucks.

I quit looking at it when I saw Missouri had more first team picks (5) than Texas (4), and then I saw Javorskie’s selection to the second team. What a total joke.

these must be multiple choice and there were only two options at FB, not many Big 12 teams really use the FB.

man, the coaches in this league must really not like Mack Brown.

Why does this surprise anyone?

Hell… Mack was probably lucky to win Big XII COY in 2005 after leading Texas to an undefeated season.

The Big XII Media has a hardon for Stoops and, unfortuately, they always will.

Even more reason to face rape our bowl opponent.

Also, isn’t it apparent, that Mack’s “Not running up the score” on opponents doesn’t make a shit of difference to the coaches who are getting raped in the ass?

So, can we start running up the score on these fuckers?

At least Chris Hall made it twice!

Seriously, this conference can go fuck itself.

What a large steaming crock of shit.

Here’s who we need to take to kick some ass:

The Tortilla Retort’s All Big XII Team

You guys are looking at this the wrong way, and I agree that it is infuriating.

Every time bullshit like this is pulled, it pushes us further into a walkaway scenario with this shithole of a conference. They resent us, they always will, and they’re going to be petty shitheads whenever they have a chance to be. As we launch our own channel and take steps to give them all the finger, I plan on laughing at opposing fans and their bawling on a daily basis. I wish daily for us to enter a different conference with programs that aren’t utter leeches and completely boring road trips.

So, let’s see…

OU, 7 first-teamers on offense
UT, 3 first-teamers on defense

OU, 2 first-teamers on defense
UT, 1 first-teamer on offense

Which team won the game between them? And how did they manage it?

Lots of bitching about the Big 12, understandably. But what conference would you suggest Texas join. CTJ?

What the fuck happened to the Texas I used to know? Where’s the spirit? Where’s the guts, huh? “Ooh, we’re afraid to go with you Mack,
we might get in trouble.” Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I’m not gonna take this. Stoops, he’s a dead man! Leach, dead! Mangino, dead.

Who says we have to join a conference. We should just be an independent with our own cable network and a national deal with CBS.

srr50 will write a post for you GCS explaining why that won’t work. Get cracking, srr.

srr50: Mangino dead? What weapon would one use for that?

Broccoli.

Like CTJ I believe it is in our best interests to use the power we have right now in college football to form a cartel, and really realign college football’s elite. I believe just taking our ball and going out alone would be a mistake.

We are not in a position to keep at the level we are at now as an independent. No one is.

We do have a lot of eyeballs who will turn in to watch us — when we are playing someone deemed to be a worthy opponent. Here are the top rated games on TV so far this year.

7.5: Texas/Texas Tech (Sat., 11/2, 8 PM ABC)
7.0: Ohio State/USC (Sat., 9/13, 8 PM ABC)
6.6: Texas Tech/Oklahoma (Sat., 11/22, 8 PM ABC)
6.4: Ohio State/Penn State (Sat., 10/25, 8 PM ABC)

Right now College Football on TV is a seller’s market. It’s basic supply & demand.

ABC/ESPN? They just sank $500 million into the BCS along with another $300 million into the SEC. They have absolutely no reason to take on us (or anyone else) as an independent. They have all the college football programming they want. They control the product. Where would they run us?

And BTW good luck in getting a viable schedule as an independent, one that would be attractive to a network. Remember that you only control the media rights to your home games.

CBS? No thanks. They kept their sweetheart deal with the SEC, which is just the amount of college football they want.

NBC? They already have the only viable independent out there in Notre Dame, and they are dying on the vine.

Speaking of which, yes our footprint in the collegiate game is huge right now, but we are not the only SOB in the valley.

ESPN’s marketing arm conducts an annual research poll asking 4,000 to 5,000 people who identify themselves as college football fans who is their favorite team.

The results for 2007 looked like this:
1 Ohio State 6.2%
2 Notre Dame 6.1%
3 USC 4.7%
4 Penn State 4.5%
5 Texas 4.0%

Over the past three years (2005-07) only Notre Dame registered with at least 6% of the fans. Both Ohio State and Texas got near that number once, but otherwise it’s only Notre Dame.

I don’t see any way we would thrive at the level we are as an independent, and going out on our own would be a poison pill for every other sport on campus.

harpoon right below the blow hole.

Independent is not a long term option. But it might be a quick fix until something else can be worked out.

I say Pac 10.

OK, srr, I laughed. My wife laughed. The former is unusual. The latter borders on amazing.

I’d just like to take this opportunity to say..go fuck yourself Texas. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass. By the way do you have Arkansas’ number?
-The Big 11 Conference.

In answer to Bob’s question “how did they manage it”, its obvious; with an inferior coach

Just wow

If I have to sit through one more of the Big 12’s sportsmanship commercials a la Dan Beebe, I am going to pluck my scrotal hairs with a pair of vice grips.

What about the SEC ? Any of those teams that Texas couldn’t beat ? Plus an automatic increase in respect.

zizzy, lube them up with jalapeno juice while listening to the soothing sounds of Enya.

dedfisher, in all seriousness. Why do you hang on this site all the
time? I don’t have anything against Tech – I find myself rooting
for them most of the time. Cannot imagine myself, however, spending
alot of time on Tech blog site. Just curious?

“dedfisher, in all seriousness. Why do you hang on this site all the time?”

Because they own me.

On the bright side, I look forward to being the All Big 12 Bitch for many years to come. Woof.

Mack should definitely be Coach of the Year and where the hell is Quan Cosby on the all Big XII? He’s a fucking stud. I would sacrifice Iglesias’ spot for Cosby.

The Big 12 served it’s purpose. It turned us into a financial juggernaut and on the field results followed for all sports. Let’s go dominate the Big East or something.

If you have the majority of the first team Big 12 players and the best you can do is tie two other teams with lesser talent and lose in your head-to-head game to one of them, what qualifies you to be the coach of the year of the Big 12? Based on the Big 12 coaches assessment of talent, Stoops should have stomped the competition. What qualifies this under-achiever to be coach of the year?

I think it’s time to draw a nice warm hydrochloric acid bath and just soak in the week’s events.

Well…fuck. Typical it seems…we should kick ass in this next season…fuckers.

It looks like all these dorks voted back in August.

You guys bitch about everything. First, it was the Big12 Championship game. Now, there are not enough Longhorns on the All Conference team. Mack Brown has know this for some time. This past two weeks of pimping Colt for the Heisman (How can a second team guy win the Heisman???)was a subterfuge for the real issue, lack of talent. Why else would he say that Bradford has more weapons than Colt? He was trying to break the news gently. Get a clue guys.

Well soonerspy, i think you made a great point for Colt for Heisman. One of the reasons we were ranked only 10 and 11 to start the season was perceived lack of talent this year compared to say OU, USC, etc. And yet, we beat OU by 10 and came one second away from going undefeated in the extremely tough Big 12 south. Why is this? Because Colt took the offense on his back and led us to a great season. This is why he should win the Heisman. And I think this is Mack’s point which you may have missed.

How the hell does Jorvorskie Lane make it as a fullback? He can’t catch up to a pass in the flat, and couldn’t block my ninety-eight year old grandmother if she was on the blitz.

The list is bizarre to say the least, but outside of Muckelroy’s abscence on the first team, I don’t think they missed any Texas guys. They over-compensated for Muckelroy’s unlisting by placing Chris Hall and Ryan Palmer on the 2nd team. That crazy punter is pretty cool though. I might do an all freshman team, which would be littered with Longhorns in the secondary.

“outside of Muckelroy’s abscence on the first team, I don’t think they missed any Texas guys. "

I agree for the most part. My only exceptions would be Muck (hell I’d put him over Kindle as far as a true LB) at first team, Cosby second team and Houston at least honorable mention.

The team this year is great because of chemistry and the sum being greater than the parts. We really only have a few stars on this team and pretty much all were recognized.

The COTY on the other hand is beyond ridiculous.

Dude, it’s mudhole stomping time. I hope the team is as ragingly pissed off as I am.

can we stop moaning on about this list? it’s just an arbitrary popularity contest. do you think the players give an s? we all know how great this TEAM is. i can’t wait for the bowl wherever that may be. time to show some class.

“This past two weeks of pimping Colt for the Heisman (How can a second team guy win the Heisman???)was a subterfuge for the real issue, lack of talent.”

Which is exactly why the exclusion of Brown as COY makes so little sense. If you have so little talent, overachieve relative to expectations and go 11-1 – and beat the two division ‘winners’ head to head in the process – then how exactly does that NOT translate to exceptional coaching? Dumbass.

As I said on the other post, it seems to me that these ballots were filled out in August and never looked at again before being dropped in the mail. Are they significantly different than the pre-season lists?

Reiterating, fuck this fucking piece of shit conference.

“This past two weeks of pimping Colt for the Heisman (How can a second team guy win the Heisman???)was a subterfuge for the real issue, lack of talent.”

then how can you justify giving coach of the year to someone other than mack if we have a lack of talent, fuckstick?

“(hell I’d put him over Kindle as far as a true LB)”

I think I remember seeing Kindle with his hand on the ground for all, but about 4 or 5 plays this season. I had him down as a DE and had he played against the run like he did the last couple of games of the year, Texas would have swept my 1st team honors at DE. He will be hell on wheels in a 3-4 system in the pros.

Regarding joining any other conference, Big 10 makes the most sense, except for travel. Among all conferences, Big 10 is the one that has most universities like UT; big, state flagships that are good academically. The only other downside besides travel is the weather (September for them, November for us). Pac 10 is not as suited (sparse population states with their aggie brothers (*SU) thrown in) and the travel issues become worse.

After reading the Longhorns, Inc. article in the Texas Monthly and finding that we treat small sports also very well (plane rides instead of bus rides, etc.), the extra travel expense should be more than offset by a better conference.

Come on Dodds, make this your legacy. Move us to Big 10.

Surely, you guys can’t be serious. Win a national title and you punk the level of football being played in the Big 10 and Pac 10. Get screwed one year and you want to join them because everyone else is dragging you down, man. Have you ever been to State College, PA?

dedfischer,

You should wake up every morning and pray Texas stays in the Big 12.

Wake up and pray, we don’t make a couple of phone calls and restructure the deal we cut on the state capitol building. We’ll take that bitch right back. Or, better yet, we might just secede from you and take our oil with us. What are you gonna do about it?

What do you mean we, paleface?

Nothing really, just a little Texas history reference.

Seriously, I don’t see UT going anywhere as it’s just too difficult from a political standpoint to just jump ship. Although, anyone will take UT in a heartbeat and there’s no doubt they’re the 800 pound gorilla in this conference, Texas politics don’t quite work that way. It’s not like switching Fantasy Football Leagues because you don’t like the roster rules. And if you think you got a raw deal this year, good luck with the Northeast and West Coast politics. Your butthole will be flopping like a screen door in a hurricane and you won’t even have Gene Chizik on your team. Once you cross the stateline, the “hate” you experience now is nothing compared to what you will receive elsewhere.

“Have you ever been to State College,Pa?”
Yep. As someone who lived in Lubbock and has been to Happy Valley I’ll take the home of PSU over Tech in just about everything except enchiladas and women.

That’s not the point, beautiful place and quaint little college town. The big questions are how are you gonna get there, what are you gonna do when you get there, and how do you plan on surviving? All those will be bigger issues than traveling to Lubbock. And besides, I’m assuming you’re from Texas, and without good looking women and enchiladas, what else does the place have to offer?

The Pac 10 Big Televen is way too cold. I don’t want it. Fing snow storms week in and week out. It will be like playing Kansas or Nebraska every away game. We are stuck in the Big 12 until it deteriorates itself with ISU, KSU, CU, Baylor, A&M. Terrable in basketball and football with nothing to offer but a Dairy Queen truckstop.

I guess the Stanford swimming rivalry would be pretty heated. Good point.

I get the point. I just thought that since this has turned into the dedfischer thread, like many others, I would see if I could get one more entry from you.
By the way, I would rather deal with getting to State College.

…and hit on fat, pasty bitches, eat bad pizza, and have some drunk kid wearing a hooded sweatshirt and baggy pants from New Jersey cuss at you. Good times. I would rather deal with the Aggies, myself.

The Big 10 is not the answer unless the question is ‘Where can I find slow black dudes?’

“The Big 10 is not the answer unless the question is ‘Where can I find slow black dudes?”- HenryJames

They don’t even have black dudes……….. they just have slow!

I ment big 10, now fixed.

That makes more sense.

I think the Pac-10 stays in the hunt because the football road trips are much more attractive… LA, SF, Phoenix, Seattle vs. Chicago, Detroit, Minneapolis and Indy?

I’m partial to the B10 myself, but there are huge issues in sports not named football and basketball.

There’s nowhere else to go. No way I would want us to go Pac-10, Big 10, or SEC. What I want most is a restructuring of the BIg 12. How long does the South dominate before we decide to go East West or abolish divisions altogether.

Vandy out, We go SEC. There we could be properly resented.

Dear UT:

Please feel free to depart the Big 12 for greener pastures at your earliest convenience.

And take your whining, sniveling, bed-wetting, paranoid fans with you.

Thanks,

Big 11

I also think the divisions should go… it definitely would help basketball. But if they did, the CCG would be gone, and that sucker makes a ton, so that is that.

Dear Big 11,

Enjoy dropping down to Conference USA relevance without us.

Thanks,

UT

Dear UT:

Modern era Nat’l Championships among Big 12 members:

Big 8 schools-13

SWC schools-5*

Don’t know how we ever got along without you.

Big 11

*Includes A&M in ’39, so make that 4.