Sadly, the the only part of the story of which I was legitimately proud - the Caligulan bisexual drug-raging alcohol-fueled Longhorn orgy - has been completely discredited by Chip Brown's excellent work at Orangebloods. Chip Brown did first-rate work at DMN and it's good to see his journalistic curiousity aroused while the mainstream press naps contentedly.

Romancin': Horn style

McFiction had already mentioned that the cocaine-fueled Longhorn groupie mass fluid exchange may not quite have happened in the way Thayer Evans' described in the anus-smuggled English paper that mysteriously made its way into Thayer's douchebag-coiffed possession. Jamarkus concedes that he "may have embellished" and "spiced things up." Apparently "embellished" is a clever East Texas euphemism for "pulled stuff out of my ass after my crazy-ass mama sold me" and the spice was a small-town special seasoning of aromatic bullshit.

But wait: there's an additional tidbit of hilarity as is almost always the case when the words Oklahoma, football, and integrity are used in the same sentence (usually accompanied by the words gang rape, teammate shooting, federally investigated cocaine distribution ring). It appears that there's a legitimate reason that Thayer Evans' span of interest in college football is as narrow as an Oklahoma doublewide: Thayer Evans used to work for Sooners Illustrated.

Learning his craft at the knee of convicted felon and Sooner recruting guru James Hale was fine preparation for what the NYT has become.

Thanks JM - if not for you, I'd be writing a Rice-Central Michigan preview.