My Weekend in Sports

My weekend? Let me just say at 2:00 on Super Bowl Sunday, when I should be 12 sheets to the wind at a Super Bowl party or a bar, I was driving my 4 year old and 6 year old daughters to see “Hotel for Dogs” with a Jonas Brothers CD playing in the car.

So, Mrs. Lincoln, other than that, how did you like the play?

So, overall good weekend.

Tell me about yours?
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I watched the Super Bowl….commericals.

Then, I used my neighbor’s wifi to download about 100 gigs of underaged, drawf porno from a virus-infested Russian server onto HIS computer.

Then, I called child services on his ass. Maybe NOW he’ll join the Neighborhood Watch, that selfish, agoraphoric bastard.

BTW, which lingerie team won the Super Bowl?

Take yesterday for example. We were out at the Olive Garden for dinner, which was lovely.

Then, well, umm, actually a pretty nice little Saturday, we’re umm, we’re gonna go to Home Depot. Yeah, buy some wallpaper, maybe get some flooring, stuff like that. Maybe Bed Bath And Beyond, I don’t know. I don’t know if we’ll have enough time.

I drank until I thought AL Michael’s hair was real.

You may not believe me when I say that it all started Thursday with a march on the Bastille, but that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

I lost Arizona +3 in the second quarter, Arizona +4 for the half, and Arizona moneyline all on that one f’ing play. Shouldn’t fade to Fitzgerald always be the play inside the 5?

Luckily I was big on AZ +7, Pitt -.5 first quarter, and Pitt -1.5 3rd quarter. And I won my props on Boldin over 5.5 receptions, James under 13.5 carries, and Arizona kicking off first (they always defer). Vegas Kyle won the National Anthem being over two minutes after he found the actual sound check on youtube.

It was a good weekend that would have been outstanding had Harrison tripped during his 18 second mad dash and if Dennis Clemente played like, well, Dennis Clemente.

My wife wants me to borrow Clarence Clemons’ pimpin’ coat…just for a weekend.

Coached my son’s first grade basketball team. We resemble the Horns (10 deep and very tall), except we are all light skinned and my point guard lost his front teeth. We don’t shoot very well, but we play a mean trapping defense. 32 minutes of running clock hell. Won by 20 baby! Kids love to watch me dunk at practice on those 8 ft baskets (think 5’ 10" Dan Issel).

Wife’s parent are in town so Super Bowl game watching was excruciating. Multiple Tecates followed by a nice Pinot made halftime even more humorous.

I motorboated a cougar from Arlington.

Everyone wanted to go with tails but I stuck with my gut feel and called in Heads two minutes before the flip.

“Springsteen now has a Dylanesque gristliness and a constant facial expression that suggests he’s taking a massive and intense dump full of razorblades and peanut shells.”

HAAAA!!!!

I was at my cousin’s house with the extended family, which includes about 15 kids total. I’m the youngest of the old generation, so I always feel it’s my duty to at least acknowledge the little buggers.

I busted my ass on a rip-stick a few times, nearly ran the midget dirt bike into the lake, and jumped on the trampoline way longer than an adult should. I feel great though, because I finished the evening off by sleeping on an air mattress and getting a giant crick in my neck.

Oh, and I lost $150 at the boats.

I finished up my week of hard work on Friday and celebrated by working Saturday and Sunday, which really reengized me to go back to work bright and early on Monday. It’s good to be king.

Thoughts:

- Our engineer’s username for his unsecured wireless internet at home is “Youthievingbastards”. I always get a kick out of that.

- No mention of the stage slide?

The team I was rooting for won.

What I want to know is, who is/isn’t allowed to go down onto the field for the concert? Do you pay extra for that? Is it included in certain tickets? Or do they say, “you’ve got a heaving bosom, want a front row seat for the geri-jam?” How do the “fans” get downt there so fast?

Thank God there were so many people at our watch party that I could neither hear or see the horriblness that is, AND ALWAYS HAS BEEN, Bruce Springsteen. Never in the history of mankind has someone so bereft of talent been idolized so much. Projectile vomiting is the only proper response to his existence.

Oh, and good read btw.

Atlantic City is a national treasure.

Weekend in sports – as if anyone really gives three shits.

Friday – got caught by the Pasadena police force for going 53 in a 40…speed trap nabbed me…yippee for defensive driving.

Saturday – Shopping, dropped some more cash at Bed Bath and Beyond, went to the Houston Auto Show to pick out the family car, and oh yeah, sports – watched the Horns rollercoaster of a game while imbibing…heavily.

Sunday – got to paint the master bathroom, again. The first color scheme didn’t work, so we got to paint for the second weekend in a row. Cooked burgers, had family over, paused superbowl, family left, watched superbowl…I would have won $170 if Arizona could have held on, I had the 3 and 0 squares…thanks for choking cards.

Oh yeah, painting fucking blows. We spend two weekends painting this damn bathroom, and we still have to paint the ceiling and touch up all of the damn trim…awesome.

chitwood:
 
Your weekend was the chit.
 
TexOz:
 
Dwarf porn is commendable. I actually regret missing the Animal Planet puppy bowl.
 
Parlin:
 
I’d expect no less from you.
 
Trips:
 
Your response, unless I’m mistaken, was just a series of + and – broken down by quarter. You may have a gambling problem.
 
Art:
 
Maybe you can send Barnes some of your schematics on a full court press.
 
Mysterious Package:
 
I’m not sure it’s advisable to transfer dangerous wildlife on an open waterway. Oh, you meant…
 
Nero:
 
Dirt biking, tramping, air mattresses. It’s like a weekend in Vegas with Kid Rock. As for fan selection, I’m not sure how that works. My guess is that they do put in more than a few “ringers” in the form of aspiring models/actresses, but I saw some slaggy regular people as well. Friends of the producers?
 
Patron:
 
I too walk the walk you walk now. I’ve been in your shoes. I’m not suggesting that we go back to hunter-gathering, but I can see some value in stalking game over conference calls and TPS reports.
 
ded:
 
The stage slide would have just been piling on. It’s was so unintentionally awesome. Like you, my favorite commercial was Conan’s. The rest were fairly atrocious. I was also interested to see that random violence was the advertiser’s favorite motif this year.
 
Ransom:
 
I actually don’t dislike Springsteen. I like his slow depressing stuff. His upbeat stuff is the stuff of soda commercials.

the name is denis

I think “I’m On Fire” appeals to the creepy old man in all of us, and at around just 2 minutes long, it’s short enough to enjoy the music without realizing Bruce can’t sing.

uthookem:
 
I care. We all care. You can always come to Barking Carnival and talk to us. Really. Painting does blow. Particularly when done in conjunction with someone who “likes how that looks” but “its no perfect”, so let’s do it again.

At least 15-20 Real Ales entered and left my corpus in exciting fashion. Throw in 6-8 fajitas at various stages of the day and it will go down as my most gastronomically indulgent Super Bowl.

On Monday I felt like BJ Penn probably did on Sunday.

Still impressed with Big Ben and Cedric Griffin’s alma mater … San’Antonio Holmes.

I thought every single thing you wrote above, but forgot to write it down or post it anywhere.

For what it’s worth, my Sunday consisted of an after Church luncheon at El Fenix and a pre-game of burning through 80 rounds of .223 after siting in a nice Leupold on a mini 14. For a dude that lives with 3 females and a neutered Labrador retriever, that sort of testosterone related activity is much cherished. Oh yeah, the game was good too.

I became the hero to everyone stuck at my job during the Super Bowl by finding an awesome streaming link for the game (wrestletvlive). I wont be paying for lunch for the next month.

Saturday. Hunting until the basketball game. Shoulda kept hunting.

Sunday. Hunting until the Super Bowl. Glad I came in for it.

We can blame Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction in 2004 for the Springsteen performance. Ever since Janet’s droopy nipple made its national television debut, the NFL has offered a five-year parade of washed-up rock stars who spend more money these days on Preparation H than they do on illegal narcotics. I keep waiting for the day when the League offers halftime performers who are younger than I am, but I may have to wait to turn 60 before that happens.

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RansomStoddard
February 3, 2009 at 8:49 am

Thank God there were so many people at our watch party that I could neither hear or see the horriblness that is, AND ALWAYS HAS BEEN, Bruce Springsteen. Never in the history of mankind has someone so bereft of talent been idolized so much. Projectile vomiting is the only proper response to his existence.

Oh, and good read btw.
__________________

Mr. Ransom Stoddard, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

chitwood is a Springsteen fan.
 
What did you think of his performance?

psssst, he’d answer you but right now he’s rollerblading and listening to the “Best of” Hootie & the Blowfish.

I have tried to give a shit about Springsteen.

I tried and failed.

performance was meh. Can’t disagree with much of the criticism. I’d still see him live again, just preferably not as part of a Super Bowl halftime.

Anyone who says they don’t like Springsteen has never listened to Nebraska.

Traylor, if that’s you up above me, I’m going to kick your ass.

I have listened to Nebraska, and I do not like Springsteen.

Anymore incorrect statements you’d like to offer here? :)

Scipio – great writing as always. You really have a gift, sir. Don’t know what you do for a living, but you should pursue this full-time.

While Springsteen at 59 isn’t at the top of his game, I must take issue with some of the comments. Ransom in particular has the same level of insight into music as he does into the power of positive thinking. In his prime he was the best live performer in the world. Not the same as seeing the man live, but check out YouTube clips anywhere in the 1970-1982 timeframe. In a span of 10 years he released The Wild, The Innocent, and the E Street Shuffle, Born to Run, Darkness on The Edge of Town, The River, and Nebraska. At least two of those are unquestionably among the 100 greatest albums ever made, at least in the rock/pop/Americana genre, and the others are undeniably great.

Like the Stones, he might not be what he once was but to claim that he’s never been relevant or that his historical importance is in some way overstated is not only absurd but shows such a total ignorance of music that it merits the death penalty. My concern is tempered only by the fact that some of the people making these comments no doubt believe that The Eagles and Jimmy Buffet represent the best in American music from this period.

OK, I’ll clarify. Anyone who doesn’t like Springsteen and has listened to Nebraska is a fucking idiot. Is that better? :)

“I could hardly believe it when I heard the news today.
I had to come and get it straight from you
They said you were leaving, someone swept your heart away.
From the look upon your face I see it’s true.
So tell me all about it, tell me ‘bout the plans you’re makin’.
Then tell me one thing more before I go.
Tell me how am I supposed to live without you.”

Bastards. All of you.

For the record, I thought Springsteenberg and his entourage were very underwhelming.

The best halftime show that I can recall was with Prince. And I had fully expected to be disgusted with him.

OK, I’ll clarify. Anyone who doesn’t like Springsteen and has listened to Nebraska is a fucking idiot. Is that better? :)

Amen brother Chitwood!

Fret not, the insipid masses (RansomStoddard) don’t want to be reached.

He probably just wants to “Carry On” with Pat Green as the soundtrack to his life.

Arrived in New Orleans on Thursday, immediately got crawfish, oyster poorboy, and beer.

Friday:

Spent the day at the World War 2 musuem. Went to dinner with girlfriend, went back to hotel, had sex.

Saturday:

Walked around NOLA, did a bit of shopping, ate in the quarter, afternoon drinks at the Columns, went to dinner with girlfriend, back to hotel, had sex.

Sunday: Back home, picked up kids from ex wife, played all afternoon, watched the first half, Simpsons at halftime, toggled back and enjoyed the best superbowl since the Giants vs. Bills.

All in all, I can’t complain.

I need to get me one of those…..

I’m referring to the poorboy of course.

The WWII museum is quite a place to visit. I’ve been twice, and will go again the next time I am in NOLA. How was it?

Amazing. They are doing a multi block expansion that will include a theater and a permanent exhibit dedicated to Guadalcanal. It’s a really awesome bookend on the warehouse district and gives a solid walking experience from their to the quarter.

I was totally blown away by the DC-3/C-47 hanging from the ceiling with the stair way that allowed you to walk up to cockpit level. Still the most aesthically pleasing aircraft ever designed if you ask me.

I was also really impressed with the exhibit on propaganda on both sides during the Pacific War.

Nice, bates! On my first visit they were a few months away from opening the Japanese wing, but I caught that a few years later. They all had of the amphibious landing vehicles on display, but I do not recall the stairway leading to the planes. I’ll have to go back.

Funniest stories from that visit:
-Won $300 first time I ever played blackjack in a casino, thought it was easy, and have since given it all back and then some.
-GF (now wife) and I went to Pat O’s for drinks after a nice dinner. We each had a hurricane, then each a shot, then each a whiskey drink, and I had to pee…told her to get us another hurricane (to share)…I showed up and she has two more hurricanes in her hands…I proceeded to drink mine and most of hers…I blew chunks but managed to get okay by the morning, she blew chunks and didn’t leave the hotel until 5 pm the next day…allsome. Oh yeah, we had sex, too.

I have more talent than everyone on this thread combined.

Although I am very sore right now due to my brief affair with the camera

You can’t go in the plane, obviously, but there is something very cool about standing ten feat away at eye level from one of the most important air frames in history.

All that sex makes the WWII museum sound like TX-OU weekend. I didn’t know PT Boats made girls so wet.

Flew in one back in the mid eighties in Honduras. Just aft of the cockpit, where we stashed our carry-on luggage, there was a plate that read “Douglas Aircraft Model C-47 – accepted, US Army Air Corps, March, 1943.”
When I returned some years later, they were flying new turboprops. I was really disappointed.
Not only did the DC3/C47 make a tremendous contribution to winning the war, it became the airliner of choice for the third world for decades. Thanks for the memories.

I see why he didn’t select the name MasturBatesHorn.

All:
 
Have you been to the Nimitz museum in Fredricksburg? I spent four hours there and could have spent another two.

I went to the Nimitz museum several times when I was a kid. The part I remember most is the Peace Garden, which was built and paid for by Japanese citizens. Several things stuck with me:

1. How a kid from the Texas hill country could become the Admiral of the greatest navy ever assembled.

2. How the country defeated by that navy could honor its commander by building a garden dedicated to peace in his hometown.

Scip, thanks for the tip about the Nimitz Museum. I’ve driven by it four or five times in the last year and never thought to stop. I’ll definitely go this next summer.

Scip-Thanks for recommend. I’m usually too f-ing tired from climbing enchanted rock to stop, but I will put it on my to do list next time I’m in Austin to visit my moms.

Oh, I had the good sense not to drag the girlfriend to WWII musuem. She did her thing and we met up later. I learned the hard way about woman and war stuff (hence the ex-wife).

Scipio Tex: hey, Silva & Bruce look so much alike…down and out cold! Stevie Ray still rocks it from the grave on a much higher plane.

Really enjoy the variety from the bloggers here @BC.:) another entertaining writeup,thanks.

 I spent all weekend working and then threw up when “Captain” Kurt broke the “cardinal” rule by throwing any other than a fade or crossing route in the red zone. STUPID!!! call..$#%*!!+^GAME

http://bosscocked.com/

I’ve been looking for this precise information on this subject for a long time.