If I had a conversation with a sooner basketball fan...

This is how it would probably go.

Me: Man, that Blake Griffin is something else. We'll have to double and hope for the best.

sooner: Blake Griffin's fucking good man, you can't single him, or he'll destroy you.

Me: Yeah, that's why I said we're going to have to double him.

sooner: Blake Griffin passes out of double teams and his cutting teammates are fucking awesome when they're cutting to the goal. With Blake Griffin passing to their cutting asses.

Me: Yeah, but what are you going to do? You can't let Blake Griffin beat you.

sooner: Griffin is very good at passing out of double teams to cutters. He's good at beating double teams by passing to cutters.

Me: You already said that. Several times in fact.

sooner: But if you don't double Griffin, he will fucking kill you. And your whole team. And some cheerleaders. Boomer fucking sooners texass. Damion James got paid by Sampson. He left because Capel wouldn't pay him.

Me: (ignoring the spittle flying into my personal space) Ummmm, yes. Okay.

sooner: Griffin is a fucking bull.

Me: Yes, he is. A bull that can pass out of double teams.

sooner #2 upon overhearing our conversation: Yeah, but if Austin Johnson goes 11 for 11 from the 3 point line what you fellers is talking about is mute.

Me: Moot...

sooner #2: Who you calling moot, whorn? Austin Johnson is gonna fucking kill you and when he kills you everything else is mute.

Me: Good call. Boomer Sooner gentlemen.


Let's talk some hoops.

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