SI Explains Why Athletes Go Broke (But Lenny Dykstra & Chance Mock Will Save Them)

I’m gonna make a prediction you can’t refuse:

This will end badly.

If I had listened to Jim Cramer I would have a Million dollars!!!

Of course I would have needed Five Million to start with.

“Sure NBA Players make a lot of money, but we spend a lot too.”

Mock needs a water pill.

I dont know whether to be appalled or impressed that Lenny Dyksta wrote(?) a book

Can we finally kill the myth of the “student-athlete,” at least in the Big Three? There are tons of brilliant student-athletes, but it seems like for every Shane Battier, there are ten Travis Henry’s (well, I guess one Travis Henry and nine of his kids).

Relatives are not the only ones foolishly trusted with athletes’ money. One up-and-coming guard in the NBA allows his entire fortune to be managed by his former AAU coach, who has the player’s power of attorney. In a meeting with Butowsky in December, the guard’s dad admitted that he has no idea who the son’s accountant is and said he wanted a financial “intervention.”

Yikes.

Mike Tyson paid a guy named Crocodile $300,000 in 1996 to dress in fatigues and repeatedly shout “guerrilla warfare” at Tyson news conferences.

These dudes live like Tracy Jordan on ‘30 Rock.’

“Next you’ll be telling me that leasing a sports car is a bad investment!”

From firsthand experience, I can tell you that famous athletes you would recognize give their money to their ‘friends’ for any number of business ventures, which universally turn out badly.

Rule # 1-DO NOT BECOME A “Celebrity”. The lifestyle is expensive and fleeting. These Men r historic figures and should behave as such. They are not “Song and Dance” , they r gifted Athletes who should marry women like Briget Moynihan and not Lady Gaga. BTW-did I mention Hollywood as being not only expensive but “hollow”? BTW-did these historic figures work all of their lives to end up in tacky press? They need 2 behave more like President Obama and less like Lindsay Lohan! In the end-no money & no legacy 2 show 4 it. Rule #2-read over rule #1.Unless u plan 2 sell more records than MJ or The Beatles or Stones-stay out of Hollywood.

What’s out- Celebrities…what’s in-mystickal private citizens/artists/activists, PUblic Servants, CEOs/CFOs(yes they r) and College/Professional Athletes-now and forever. REALITY always trumps the make-believe.

Can’t 4 get scientists like Channel 10’s “Hurricane” Scwartz, or Channel 6’s Dave Roberts.

“Rule # 1-DO NOT BECOME A "Celebrity". The lifestyle is expensive and fleeting. These Men r historic figures and should behave as such. They are not "Song and Dance" , they r gifted Athletes who should marry women like Briget Moynihan and not Lady Gaga. BTW-did I mention Hollywood as being not only expensive but "hollow"? BTW-did these historic figures work all of their lives to end up in tacky press? They need 2 behave more like President Obama and less like Lindsay Lohan! In the end-no money & no legacy 2 show 4 it. Rule #2-read over rule #1.Unless u plan 2 sell more records than MJ or The Beatles or Stones-stay out of Hollywood.”

Did you text that to us?

Walter what the fuck are you talking about?!

Chance Mock posted a bizarre, hopefully hypothetical campaign platform on Orangebloods a while ago. It read like the transcript of a call to Sean Hannity’s radio show. But far more frightening than the laundry list of vacuous platitudes and reckless policy aspiriations posted by #5 was the outpouring of cultish admiration and vote pledges given in response by starstruck Longhorn football fans too stupid or immature to separate their sports allegiance from their electoral decision-making.

We make a lot. But, we also spend a lot.

You also repeat yourself.

I think the NFL has programs that all rookies have to go through that address the financial issues they will face. Or so I’ve heard. At least the NFL makes an attempt to give the guys some type of education about it. Who knows how many it has helped in the long run, though.

Why would anyone fawn over Chance Mock? The guy sucked. He was an overhyped recruit by his buddy, Geoff Ketchum, who couldn’t a damned thing done on the field against an opponent worth a shit.

I watched the segment on Dykstra on RealSports. I found it funny and entertaining. I shouldn’t be surprised that the whole thing was bullshit.

Retarded paramecium can get good returns in a bull market. Dykstra and Mock aren’t retarded, but are likely single-celled organisms.

Madoff once reportedly [according to onlookers registered with the Mississippi How to Issue Common Stock Board(HICS Board)]punted a football farther than Russell Erxleben at a Do the Ponzi and meet the Fonzi seminar in the Hamptons.

I love all the boys at Barking Carnival-too many inside jokes, and codes, however.

Why turn into a “tabloid tootsie” if your already an accomplished Athlete, Shakespearian Actor, etc.? Your legacy is drowned out by ridiculous soundbites and images.I agree. Its a sell-out.I know what your talkin’ ‘bout. Protect your image-and your pocketbook. There’s so many trashy celebs out there, I don’t even know who half of them are. I know every player on The Chargers roster, however.

Pompous Anus, I must say…ppl. like Jack Nicholson, Hugh Jackman and Farrah Fawcett are Actors-not “Celebrities”. Scipio-even though there are those in the NFL who cheated their way through college-with the fine help from college administrators, most in the NFL are far more intelligent than your average North American. They have 2 be. Your just perpetuating the “idiotic jock” stereotype with your wicked comments.

Scipio-even though there are those in the NFL who cheated their way through college-with the fine help from college administrators, most in the NFL are far more intelligent than your average North American. They have 2 be. Your just perpetuating the "idiotic jock" stereotype with your wicked comments.
 
Why do they have to be?
 
And what evidence do you have that they’re brighter than the average North American (we’re including Nova Scotia residents)?

And I didn’t perpetuate a stereotype. Re-read my opening two lines.

BTW-as a whole,Nick Scipio,I find your article quite interesting and it made me realise just how poor I really am.

Well, gee, Mr.Scipio, I was under the assumption an I.Q. test was administered by The NFL and they need 2 meet a certain intellectual criteria…that’s what my nephew tells me. BTW-you shouldn’t be so ethno-centric and just assume everyone identifies themselves as being American,eh? You should know better. I’ve been in America 4 26 years and I STILL don’t feel “American”. “North American” is a term that resonates with so many of us “friendly” Canadians.

“…I was under the assumption an I.Q. test was administered by The NFL and they need 2 meet a certain intellectual criteria.”

Wherever did you hear this? Did they read the test aloud for Dexter Manley?

lol-I give up-you won the debate.

Mr.Scipio, I must say, you missed your “calling”. You should’ve been an Attorney. Your no “dumb blonde”-your razor sharp,a formidable debater. If this were 1692 & Massachusetts & you were accused of practising Witchcraft…there would be no doubt, Nick, you would be able to get away with that dunking-or at least postpone it. Touch-ay!!

WTF?

“sorry heterosexuals & asexuals-your out of luck”
Well, I will agree that being asexual would be pretty unlucky.

Oh, and you may also want to check your lithium dosage.

Yup, advanced delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage can get pretty “pescky” when dosages are not adequately monitored.

Yeah, Kermit, unless your a Jew.

I think i know who that comment was for, Mr Croatian Nation. Your crazy, alright-like a fuckin’ fox, your crazy.

Oh, Noz!!!!

I loved TMZs coverage of Lindsay Lohan in court yesterday. She was a blubbering idiot. I almost felt bad for her.

I found your site when i was searching Google for websites related to this article. I have tell you, your site is good. I like the design too, its nice. I don’t have much time at the moment to fully read your site but I have noted it and I also registered for your RSS feed. I will be back in a day or two.