The Rhythm Method: 2009 Texas Tech Spring Game

by Barking Carnival Staff on Apr 19, 2009 2:32 PM CDT in Texas Longhorns and Other Football

Uncle Bevo braved West Texas winds and the ever-present potential for mud rain to go out and scout the Pirates of The Plains. We're hopeful dedfischer of Tortilla Retort will reply. Here is UB's report.

- SR

___________

Most people don’t associate delicate sensitivity with football. Some things just don’t fit together in our minds, like Donald Trump and quiet dignity, Lindsay Lohan and a clean hair follicle test, or Tom Cruise and heterosexuality. In a manly game like football that relies on porn star-level machismo, playing with broken noses, dislocated fingers, jammed toes, and injuries severe enough to unemploy an oil field roughneck, there is seemingly no room for black turtlenecks, poetry, or getting in touch with one’s feelings.

But, despite the clichés, there really is sensitivity in college football. Like Ann Coulter’s femininity, humanity, intellect, and clitoris, it’s almost imperceptible, but can be seen if you really concentrate and believe hard enough it exists. The Texas Tech/Mike Leach offense is nothing if not a well-oiled machine. Problem is, that machine is so complicated, convoluted, fragile, and thin-skinned that the slightest imbalance puts the Pirate/Mad Scientologist/Riverboat Gambler’s dink-n-dunk into a tailspin.

Example One: Tech’s bowl record. Because Leach’s offense relies so much on timing, repetition, and consistency, the longer the break between the end of the regular season and the bowl game, the less efficient, responsive, and coordinated Tech’s offense will be. When Tech bowls in December, closer to the regular season, they are 4-0 since 2002. When Tech plays in January, they are 1-2 over the same period, with their single victory being a dramatic, come-from-behind win over a mediocre Virginia team.

The timing theory holds true inside the actual bowl game itself. Tech’s spread becomes more productive as the contest progresses, scoring heavily in the fourth quarters of the 2006 Insight Bowl against Minnesota (24 points) and the 2007 Gator Bowl against Virginia (17). The longer you give Tech to get back into rhythm, the more deadly the throw-n-blow becomes. The more they work it, the less they jerk it.

Example Two: early season Tech losses. If you catch Tech early enough in the season, before the offense has a chance to gel, you stand a decent chance of yanking their starter. By way of example and not humiliation, I give you Raider beatdowns by North Carolina State in 2002 and 2003, New Mexico in 2004, TCU in 2006, and early conference losses to Oak State, Mizzou, and Colorado in 2007. Hell, during last year’s nationally-ranked, on ESPN every week, be-all, end-all season for the ages, lowly Eastern Michigan was within 11 of the Raiders well into the fourth quarter – in Lubbock.

My point? Like good wine or Madonna’s yeast infection, Tech’s offense needs time to ferment. Catch the Red Raiders early in the year or, heaven help them, give them more than a month between their last regular season game and bowl game and they are ripe for plunder.

All of which makes the Horns’ early game against Tech this fall (September 19 in Austin) more interesting and Tech’s Red and Black Game this past Saturday more boring. Spring games are usually known for their white bread, bland, vanilla plainness. Because the Red Raider offense consists of roughly eight plays, each run out of two or three different formations, Tech has nothing old to flaunt or new to show. Like Sean Connery’s accent that sounds exactly the same regardless of the nationality of his character, what you’ve seen is exactly what you’ll get. The Raiders’ offense is not based on innovation, clever tweaks, or reinventing the wheel. Tech lets you know exactly what they are going to do, over and over again for the entire game, and dares you to stop them.

The Spring Game was no different. Leach plugged in four indistinguishable QB’s: Taylor Potts, a Junior from Abilene, Steven Loucks, a Sophomore from a Polish private school in Arkansas (no comment necessary), Steven Sheffield, a Junior from Pflugerville, and Seth Doege (DOE-ghee), a Freshman from Wolfforth.

As for the game, the wind blew so hard it was louder than the official’s voice over the PA system, an empty 55 gallon trash container rolled harmlessly across the field during the game, and the ball blew off the kicking tee three different times. Tech missed not one but two PAT’s, dropped at least eight passes, and gave up four QB sacks, two interceptions (the second returned 100 yards for a touchdown), and a 65 yard kickoff return.

A bright spot was Freshman inside receiver Austin Zouzalik, a slow, small Wes Welker clone who made several memorable catches on seam routes. Baron Batch, the quick, slashing Junior RB from Midland High, made several memorable runs, but dropped a pass on a sideline go route that bounced harmlessly off his hands.

Like the crazy guy in the bar who rambles about nonsensically about Viet Nam, drinks cheap gin, and shows white all around the irises of his eyes, you never turn your back on Mike Leach. But the fact that the Horns get them very, very early, both in the season and the career of Taylor Potts, leaves me with little doubt: the Tech game will be a mudhole.

Hook ‘em.

Tweet Comment 19 comments | 0 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

“lowly Eastern Michigan was within 11 of the Raiders well into the fourth quarter "

It was actually Eastern Washington, but you’re a guest columnist so I’ll let it slide. Don’t let Scipio catch you though.

I generally agree with the premise of your little article. Tech does struggle when the Air Raid has had time to sit, and usually starts the season off sluggish. It’s a definite advantage for UT to get Tech early in the season I think we can all agree on that.

With Texas Tech’s athletic department being so cash strapped we had to agree to move it up to get the Nationally televised game. Plus Tech gets the next week in Houston with a good ABC/ESPN slot. It’s about the money and the exposure for Texas Tech right now. Still it doesn’t help the program if Tech were to get mudholed on National TV in Austin.

Considering Potts went 20 for 27, over 200 yards, a TD, and no int’s in that wind I think he looked good. The two int’s came off of backup QB’s not really that big of a deal. The two missed extra points came off of the back-up extra point kicker. He missed them all last year too, and it didn’t stop the Raiders from going 11-1 in conference.

I’m more concerned about the O-line, D-line depth than I am about the backup QB’s or the backup kicker. The starting O-line and D-line looked fine, but the backups drop off significantly. I know I disagreed with Dedfischer when he said this last year, but this year I think it would be accruate. We’ll have to wait for 4-Star D-tackle Miles Wade, and 4-Star D-tackle Perlie Graves to get on campus to really see if we have a depth problem on defense. Plus we’re waiting for 3 more safeties to get here in the spring.

There is no way in hell Zouzalik is a smaller Wes Welker. He’s got at least 3 to 4 inches on Wes, but he isn’t as fast or as quick as Welker. In Leach’s offense it doesn’t matter, as long as you can catch the ball when thrown to you, you can move the chains.

It will be very tough for the Raiders to win in Austin this year. There hasn’t been a “mudhole” game in a while between Texas and Texas Tech. I think the odds are against Tech winning, but the odds are against it being a mudholing too.

by Tim on Apr 19, 2009 5:06 PM CDT reply actions

2005. MUDHOLE

by Kriess on Apr 19, 2009 5:36 PM CDT reply actions

New QB, no Crabtree, early in the season, in Austin = Big, fat mudhole.

by Newy25 on Apr 19, 2009 6:08 PM CDT reply actions

It’s a lose/lose for us. But we’ll ‘*’ it.

by sMack Brown on Apr 19, 2009 9:25 PM CDT reply actions

@kriess: agree.

Score by Quarters 1 2 3 4 Score
-——————— ~~- -~~ ~~- -~~ -—
Texas Tech………. 7 3 7 0 – 17
Texas…………… 10 21 14 7 – 52

http://www.texassports.com/sports/m-footbl/archive/stats/05/ut7.htm

by cw on Apr 19, 2009 10:26 PM CDT reply actions

I stated “the odds are against it being a mudholing”

2 mudhole games in the last 7 between UT and TTU, I don’t think you fella’s understand odds very well.

by Tim on Apr 19, 2009 11:31 PM CDT reply actions

Every 3 years, there’s a mudhole. It’s due

by dick on Apr 19, 2009 11:38 PM CDT reply actions

“When Tech bowls in December, closer to the regular season, they are 4-0 since 2002. When Tech plays in January, they are 1-2 over the same period…”

Could it also have something to do with the fact that the January opponents were better teams than the December opponents? Is it also possible that, especially early on in Leach’s tenure, that Tech ended up in a worse December bowl than it should have been in due to it not being a marquee program?

There may be more at work than the relative rustiness of the offense.

For instance, the 34 points TTU scored on Ole Miss in the Cotton Bowl was the most the Rebels allowed all season, but the 47 the Tech defense allowed was the second-most the Rebels scored all season (behind the that 59 UL-Monroe allowed). Only hapless Mississippi State allowed anything in that ballpark (45 points) among Ole Miss’ BCS conference opponents, with 31 being the next highest the Rebels got on a BCS school.

Had Texas Tech given up an amount of points on par with the rest of Ole Miss’ BCS opponents, the Red Raiders walk out victorious. In this particular January bowl, it was a lack of defense that doomed them, not a lack of timing from the offense.

by Year2 on Apr 20, 2009 12:02 AM CDT reply actions

u’ve got that backwards. coulter has a citoris the size a banana slug. huge! it’s the analogous structure to the glans in a man. feed it the testosterone cream it craves and it will grow like australian sea weed. don’t believe me? watch that amateur porno China started in. terrifying.

by honkskillet on Apr 20, 2009 12:31 AM CDT reply actions

… starred in …

by honkskillet on Apr 20, 2009 12:39 AM CDT reply actions

Tim, you also said there hasnt been a mudhole in a long time (while, for what its worth). 2005. I think you need to clarify what defines a “while”. Like, its going to be a “while” before Tech plays in January again. Or its going to be a “while” before Harrell sees an NFL playing field. Or thats its going to be a short “while” until Dixon gets kicked out of Tech.

by Kriess on Apr 20, 2009 3:07 AM CDT reply actions

Slightly OT here but the biggest surprise of the NFL pre-draft workouts has been the weakness of Harrell’s arm. Either it was always that way or throwing 1000 balls a week for four years ruined it.

by RansomStoddard on Apr 20, 2009 6:48 AM CDT reply actions

“and it didn’t stop the Raiders from going 11-1 in conference.”

Timmy – how can go 11-1 in conference when you played 8 conference games. We will let it slide because you are you.

by Art Vandelay on Apr 20, 2009 10:10 AM CDT reply actions

Well played

by Tim on Apr 20, 2009 9:46 PM CDT reply actions

Used Gatorade

by Sailor Ripley on Apr 21, 2009 12:28 PM CDT reply actions

Wonder Tim powers, activate!

Form of a brick wall!

by HenryJames on Apr 21, 2009 12:33 PM CDT reply actions

Tim:

Yeah, it was Eastern Washington, not Eastern Michigan. I was proofing while watching the Spurs blow a double digit lead to the Mavs, who think defense is a Commie plot. Sue me if my mind occasionally wandered.

Thanks so much on the backhand compliment on my “little article.” I suppose your significant other agrees with the premise of things of yours that are “little.”

I didn’t say was smaller than Welker. I said he was a small, slow Welker clone. 50 years ago, 6’0", 180 lbs. might have been considered large for a wide receiver. Nowadays, it’s on the medium to smallish side.

Year2 — Yes, the quality of the opponent is important to the performance of Tech’s offense. I’ll just note that the Cotton Bowl output of 34 points was Tech’s season low. I believe my basic point about layoffs hurting Tech more than other schools is still valid.

As far as the photos go, I’ll leave you with wisdom from one of the mos toverlooked bands of the 80’s and 90’s — the J. Geils Band:

“Now some people think the world is what it ain’t; to some I’m a sinner, to others a saint; some people think the world ain’t what it is; all I know is that I got to take a whizz; Now where am I going and where have I been? My head’s in the cloouds and my tail’s in a spin; jumpin’ outta planes for the thrill of it all; then I bounce right back and take a piss on the wall; Yeah, the Yanks hate the Reds and the Greeks hate the Turks; I really hate to say it, but they’re all a bunch of jerks; seems like everybody’s shakin’ ‘cause the big one’s ’bout to fall; I just try to hold it steady while I piss on the wall.”