The Wonderful World of Martellus Bennett

Where did helmet hair rank Tellus pre draft ?

Richard Pryor did a comedy bit on black people eating chicken, but that was 35 years ago.

Could be cause eating fried chicken is soulful on a physical level. Black folks seem to be attracted to things that are soulful: such as soulful music, dancing, singing, etc., etc. Black folks just must be born with an extra helping in the soul department, cause just from their personalities, they seem to be overrunning with this soul thing-a-majig. White women have even been known to claim that black men are more soulful in bed than their rigid, cardboard like, white meat eating only, analytic white male counterparts.

Too bad all this commercialized, gansta, hip hop b.s. stuff has become so popular to the point of taking away much of this expression of overabundance of the soul from black popular culture. The days of the great blues and jazz artists and the Marvin Gayes seem to have passed us right on by. One could say even that this soul of black culture, the core of it, was not immune to the great tyrannizer of true culture in our day, money and phoney commercialization, and that it too sold itself out, like so many other things which were once authentic in the past.

But, it still does warm my heart that even though the souls of black folk may have sold out to the vulgarity of popular culture, at least their stomachs have stayed true blue to its origins, at least their stomachs have not also sold out. This maybe a plausible explanation for all that chicken loving.

Or maybe it is this: I believe there is a study somewhere out there which concluded that a higher percentage of people with big tushies had a notable higher rate of eating fried chicken than those with small tushies. There obviously is some correlation going on here. Of course, the million dollar question is which came first, the chicken or egg? Is it big tushies that crave the fried chicken or is it the fried chicken that makes for the big tushy? Have to admit, anyone’s guess is as good as mine in this department. I am throughly stumped on this one.

Oh, on a side note: Baconian science and the religion preferred by so many chicken eating folk will be reconciled when people begin to realize that the empirical is not necessarily nor automatically related to the third person perspective. In fact, the very opposite of this scenario seems to be the case, proving that even a rigid, analytical, empirical dork can also be a dreamer of dreams – and, but of course, he is none to wise of it, but the few in number are the ones who ever are.

I like turkey with my Bacon.

I am white and will forever be thankful for black people introducing me to fried chicken with waffles. I think fried shrimp with waffles is even better.

For whatever reason though white people seem to love the biscuits more than the the fried chicken. I know I do.

That’s racist.

Just thought I would throw that in there – seems to be a theme lately.

Does it mean I’m suffering from racial confusion because I like grilled chicken with my fettucine Alfredo?

Still too many unanswered questions.

For example, white folk who eat chicken seem to float better and swim faster. However, black folk still don’t float nor swim well, even after 3 squares a day of fried chicken. Even watermelon.

What gives?

A less culturally sensitive person might suggest one possible answer to Mr. Bennett’s enigma is that you can eat fried chicken with handcuffs on. Chortle.

The purple koolaid in the frig was gold.

so many opportunities to use [sic]

Chicken alone? No. He should have have talking about chicken AND waffles.

Gimme two piece o’ yard bird, some onion loops, and a errrrrnge drink.

1. is my answer to pretty much every question I’m asked on a given day.

Anti-NY, anti-west coast, anti-white ethnic(Irish, Italian, Eastern European),anti-liberal, anti-badmitten.

It’s anti-Nazi too. Also, anti-white, anti-politics (a great thing, btw), anti-sooner, anti-aggie and sometimes anti-Texas. They just call them the way they see them. No politcal correctness needed. One of the reasons that it is one of the best blogs on the intranet.

Never argue with a bunch of guys that sound like Gomer Pyle-they might sic Forrest gump on ya!

I still think Hannah Montana has big gums.

I still think its all of them fuckin’ Pescky Canadians (NAFTA lovers)trying to invade our culture and take our jobs..telling us how to think and what not. Go back to your igloos and leave us the HELL alone, Canucks!

Well, Mel Kiper is a fraud – let’s all go ahead and acknowledge that.

I guess the underlying message here is its your right to free speech-no matter how offensive or insulting.If you don’t like it, move on. Please don’t censor me,though!lol

I dreamed chicken! In my head!