No, it's not the Stanley cup finals. Though if you think about it, The Narcoleptics would be an awesome name for a hockey team. Maybe put then in Nassau for the alliteration. Or Nashville. In fact if you fielded an entire team of narcoleptics I'd probably pay to watch hockey. The occasional random syncopal episode and ensuing ruckus of crashing bodies, flailing sticks, and mullets all-akimbo would certainly heighten the intensity. What are we talking about?
Anyway, Leach and Sherm are at it again.
I actually forgot what round this is, but it doesn't really matter. My son thinks twelveteen is a number, so let's call it round twelveteen. Blends well with the other myriad pieces of absurdity in this particular imbroglio. We have anonymous sources that confirm it began with a fight over L.A. Law vs. Mama's Family during a break at the Big12 coaching convention, but the rest is pure conjecture on our part. These sources also hint at the existence of HenryJames' girlfriend, which as yet remains unverified.
"I’ve always said that it is truly exciting to play Texas A&M - the quality of coaches they have, the great team and great tradition and, above all, the quality of players they have," Leach continued. "I’ve always known A&M had great players. The fact that they have the luxury to put a third- or fourth-round draft pick on the bench, to me, identifies what a truly great team they are.
"It’s an honor for us at Texas Tech to have the opportunity to play them. There are numerous players on our team that will never get a look or play a down in the NFL, so you can imagine how exciting it is for me and them to go play a team the magnitude of Texas A&M and look over there on the bench and see third- and fourth-round draft picks."
The more astute of you may have noticed a hint of sarcasm there. The truly erudite started reading it in Mark Antony's voice about a third the way through (Julius Caesar: Act 3, Scene 2). For those of you who read it in Jar Jar Binks voice (we have a wide demographic), I agree with you, it's hard to tell whether he's being complimentary or not.
Now, I'm not here to say who's right and who's wrong. That's for the radical muslims to decide. I'm a live and let live kinda guy. I do think Leach is funny, if clinically insane, and his petty attention-seeking antics amuse me. On the other hand I see the Aggies point (I can't believe I just typed that: I think my bladder let go, holy shit); in that Leach crosses a line when he calls out a specific player on the Aggie roster. Just because you are one of the two men in the universe surprised by Harrell's draft status does not give you the right to call out McGee. On the other hand, McGee was a fairly large tool the last time we saw him, so maybe there are extenuating circumstances. Judges?
In any event I'm interested in the consensus here. I'll take what we decide and draft a formal letter of designation for Coach Leach and have dedfischer leave it in his rollerblade locker next week.
Mike Leach, we at the presitigous award winning blog Barking Carnival, after careful thought and consideration, officially designate you:
1. A petulant whiny bitch
2. A brilliant, unafraid, courageous offensive genius
3. An amusing crazy person we enjoy viewing from several hundred miles away, in fact go on and move to Arizona for awhile, that's better
4. A victim of the 'People who actually teach their quarterbacks to drop back one weekend" establishment
5. A beowulf.
Some of those might cross the line, so we'll either plant it anonymously or tone it down a little, whichever is easiest.