CFN Predicts Big 12 - Texas 3rd In South

by Scipio Tex on Aug 7, 2009 4:20 PM CDT in Texas Longhorns and Other Football

College Football News, bringers of the "Reggie McNeal is much better than Vince Young" amusement, proves that a thousand monkeys placed in front of a thousand keyboards is an attainable dream. If you've ever wondered what it would be like to give a site to the guys who lead stadium cheers and demand to name the defense on your team's bulletin board, read on.

Texas
CFN Prediction: 9-3

9/5 UL Monroe W
9/12 at Wyoming W
9/19 Texas Tech W
9/26 UTEP W
10/3 OPEN DATE
10/10 Colorado W
10/17 Oklahoma (in Dallas) L
10/24 at Missouri L
10/31 at Oklahoma State L
11/7 UCF W
11/14 at Baylor W
11/21 Kansas W
11/26 at Texas A&M W

They predict that Texas will drop three games in succession: OU, @ Mizzou, @ OSU. Yielding a 3rd place finish in the Big 12 South. We're Alamo Bowl bound! Interesting. I'm not a particularly reactionary fan and for me, the why is as important as the what. Maybe writer Pete Fiutak has some real insight - something that I'm missing.

So what's CFN's rationale for a disappointing year?

The possibility of a disappointing year! And pressure!

Team That Will Disappoint: Texas. Considering this is a national title-or-bust year after all the issues of last season, the potential is there for there to be a major letdown if things don't go perfectly.

Finicky Texas need things just so. We're a bridezilla, mascara pouring down our face in a contorted hate mask because someone farted at the rehearsal dinner during the groom's toast.

I bet Colt quits at halftime of the UTEP game if the X-Box jack in his locker doesn't work. And you don't want to see what Sergio Kindle will do if we forget to cut the crust off of his sandwich.

Oklahoma is better

No, Oklahoma is different.

Oklahoma State has the firepower and maturity to pull off a win over the Longhorns

Is Gundy growing a moustache? That should make a difference. We're 11-0 against OSU under Brown while averaging 39.5 ppg. In that time, OSU has put up 24, 35, 28, 35, 34 points respectively and lost each contest. We've identified a classic OSU firepower problem, people.

and going to Missouri could be a beartrap if the Red River Rivalry doesn't go well

Missouri is a bear trap! What's that trap baited with? A skin-of-their-teeth Northwestern bowl win and a packet of skittles? Texas has never lost the game after OU under Brown.

Oh sure, Texas will blow away at least seven teams on the slate, but when anything less than winning a Big 12 title and ending up in Pasadena in early January will be accepted, the pressure will be immense.

If there's a Johnny-come-lately program likely to fold under a Brave New World of expectation, it's Texas. I wish we were a beartrap.

Please consider that Texas will drop three consecutive games against a weak schedule, play in a minor bowl, and finish 3rd in the Big 12 South - likely the fourth or fifth best team in the Big 12 overall.

So where will we finish nationally?

According to CFN: Fourth.

4. Texas - Why Texas should be No. 1: All the same positives of last year are the same plusses as this year, only better.

Like 2008 Longhorn, but 30% more loss absorbent!

QB Colt McCoy should be even sharper

Unless things don't go perfectly. Who is responsible for the green jellybeans in Colt's dressing room spread? Now he'll sulk through the whole Colorado game.

the special teams will be the positive different in at least one game

The positive different. Awesome band name.

And then there's the motivation factor. After what happened last year, there's unfinished business to be taken care of.

This is a highly motived, angry football team with a chip on its shoulder. That can't wait to fold like Warren Moon hanging bath towels.

How can this dissonance be explained? I am not learned enough to deduce. Reveal your seductive truths, CFN Oracle!

There's one very important distinction in the CFN preseason rankings: these are based on how good the teams are going into the season and NOT how they're going to finish.

Oh, this is a power poll then. I get it.

No, wait. I don't.

Texas is the 4th best team in college football, but will lose all three of its games against CFN's ranked teams against a schedule most would describe as Pete Fiutakian in its quality.

Other points of interest:

- They rank Colorado as the best secondary in the Big 12. Texas 4th.

- Baylor is predicted to go 1-7 in the Big 12. 4-8 overall. Baylor goes to a bowl.

- They predict that the Big 12 North will operate at near parity to the Big 12 South going 8-10 in interdivisional games. This exhibits an understanding of power relationships comparable to Argentina in the Falklands circa 1982.

- Missouri will go 7-1 in the Big 12. If the Big 12 North winner has a record better than 5-3, I'll be shocked. And it's not going to be Missouri in any event.

Good times.

And CFN's prediction for Texas last year? 8-4.

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Comments

“Missouri is a bear trap!”

Your readers respectfully demand the return of the grizzly bear picture and some more of that Festus lingo about the bowie knife.

by Parlin Hall on Aug 7, 2009 4:49 PM CDT reply actions

The Simple Jack poster was being kind. Could we get a photo shopped Simple Fiutak one?

by Burnt Orange Wookie on Aug 7, 2009 4:51 PM CDT reply actions

CFN is terrible which sucks b/c the premise of their site is a good idea. Is Pete a product of Missouri Journalism?

by n-ea on Aug 7, 2009 4:55 PM CDT reply actions

This guy predicted an 8-5 record for the 2005 team.
He makes Lou Holtz look like Coach Boom in terms of football knowledge.

by E on Aug 7, 2009 4:59 PM CDT reply actions

CFN doesn’t bother to reconcile its national rankings with predicted finishes. Mizzou’s going 10-2, of course, but only ranked 20. UT goes 9-3 and is ranked 4th? Damn pollsters and their Big 12 South bias!

by Phenomenal Smith on Aug 7, 2009 5:18 PM CDT reply actions

Texas is the 4th best team in college football, but will lose all three of its games against CFN’s ranked teams against a schedule most would describe as Pete Fiutakian in its quality.

That got a real life LOL

by PatronSaint on Aug 7, 2009 5:31 PM CDT reply actions

I would be happy to see you lose 3 games this season but I don’t see it. OU is a tossup. You killed Mizzou at home last year and they had Daniels and Maclin. The games on the road but I don’t see how they are going to score any points. OSU will score some points but again they always find a way to lose. Not sure what they have back on defense this year but they will need a lot of turnovers to get a win.

by KilgoreTrout on Aug 7, 2009 5:43 PM CDT reply actions

This guy is moron. He IS Warren Moon folding like OSU’s second half efforts.

Although, on that note, OSU could be our TTU this season. Go in overconfident, and stand around watching the first 30 minutes like five-year oldsters at KayBee Toys…

by scagnetti on Aug 7, 2009 6:11 PM CDT reply actions

In defense of Pete: during last year’s FUBAR he consistantly wrote about why Texas deserved the tiebreak over ou.

Not sayin, just sayin.

by STM on Aug 7, 2009 6:19 PM CDT reply actions

STM –

The why is as important as the what. I’d rather profoundly disagree with someone intelligent that can make me think than agree with a buffoon who just happens to share a brief commonality of opinion.

by Scipio Tex on Aug 7, 2009 7:04 PM CDT reply actions

That’s just stupid.

Oklahoma is indeed a tossup. Okie State is the road risk that Tech was last year, but no way you lose to Missouri.

I don’t see how Missouri gets past 6 or 7 wins this year.

by NorthDallasSooner on Aug 7, 2009 7:35 PM CDT reply actions

Uh…yeah…

We all know that since 2004 Mack Brown Texas teams wilt like day-old Caesar salad in a microwave vs top-10 teams. But, wait… Mack and Texas have more wins than anybody else over the last 10 years, with an NC and multiple bowl game skins to boot. Not to mention 3 of 4 vs. OU and undefeated vs aforementioned other threats.

Texas exploits OU’s green OL, throttles Mizzou and somehow survives OSU – again. After that it’s green lights all the way to Pasadena.

Dreamin’?

Sure is a big burnt orange Kool-Aid ‘stache that USA Today Poll’s wearin’.

by palmettohorn on Aug 7, 2009 8:45 PM CDT reply actions

That was a good laugh. Fiutak never ceases to amaze me. His ability to write such asinine articles, yet hold a job, is quite remarkable. Especially with unemployment so high.

by UTomlinson on Aug 7, 2009 8:49 PM CDT reply actions

I know the Big 12 South is the best division in college football, but the 3rd best team in this division is the 4th best in the country? Now, that’s impressive. Who is the outsider that sneaks in to the top 4? Oh, wait. Must be the Fighting Tebows.

by Longhorn in Canada on Aug 7, 2009 9:30 PM CDT reply actions

Does anyone actually read CFN anymore?

by Pancho Claus on Aug 7, 2009 9:38 PM CDT reply actions

No way Mizzou beats UT this season.

Pettigrew is no longer with OSU, having gone on to the NFL. Last year the huge TE caught 8 passes for 83 yards against the longhorns and blocked like an offensive lineman. Huge receivers who can block and catch well killed the horns last year. Pettigrew’s loss is really going to hurt the Cowboys versus UT this season (both running and passing).

OU will probably be very good by the end of the season but it will take a while for the nearly brand new OL to mesh optimally (and that probably will not happen by October when OU meets UT in Dallas).

So long as Colt stays healthy, UT will be outstanding. My guess is that UT loses 1 game during the regular season.

by Kafka on Aug 7, 2009 9:59 PM CDT reply actions

Petey’s jes’ funnin’ with y’all!

Last time I looked the answer to the following question:
   Who will be Mizzou’s star on Offense?
    a) Chase Daniel
    b) Jeremy Maclin
    c) Chase Coffman
was “None of the above!”

Dirt Thieves lost most of their O-line and it takes a while to learn those holding techniques.

Okie Lite? Gimme a break! Yes-I-yam Gundy will find a way to lose early against the Whorns, provided Zac is even still around—-a couple of nicks on Mr Robinson and “who’s on first?” is their QB!

by Earl T on Aug 7, 2009 11:02 PM CDT reply actions

Awesome work as per usual. Your posts are like exocet missiles. Love the Falkland Island reference.

by Trips Right on Aug 8, 2009 9:37 AM CDT reply actions

Baylor is a Tiger trap.

by kenneth on Aug 8, 2009 3:08 PM CDT reply actions

“Is Pete a product of Missouri Journalism?”

Arrrrrrrrrr, ain’t nothing not right about them U of M journalists…

by Mickey Spagnola on Aug 8, 2009 7:45 PM CDT reply actions

Missouri will be horrible this year FTW. Simple Jack runs College Football News.

by GoHornsGo90 on Aug 8, 2009 11:36 PM CDT reply actions

Scip.. This will be a good test (not just the Texas game but the season) if Missouri has really recruited as well as we (Mizzou fans) think they might have. They’re talking speed at Mizzou. Probably (most likely) not Texas/OU fast but if they’re even close that’s a good start. I wouldn’t be so bold to call that a “beartrap” game but Mizzou will surprise the nonbelievers this year. Getting to Texas/OU level may be a uber-longterm goal, but that level also goes for 99% of college football.

by jazz1258 on Aug 11, 2009 8:20 AM CDT reply actions