So When Does Dan Hawkins Get Fired?

In fairness, when Hawkings promised “10 wins, no excuses,” he meant that they would be spread out over the next five seasons.

The Toledo QB is currently 13 of 19 for 303 and 4 TDs.
 
Both Colorado safeties have yet to make a clean tackle and are being exploited in the passing game by Amsterdam sex midgets, a Polak blocking TE, and a guy who is playing his second collegiate game at the wide receiver position.
 
This is just epic.
 
Dan Hawkins is about to weep on the sideline. And not just because they keep playing Dave Matthews music off of commercial break.
 
The name of Toledo’s stadium is The Glass Bowl! Ha ha. Oh, shit. I can’t stop laughing.

Trips is into the Crown. I like that.

Will Hawkins be OC for Peterson?

Uh oh, 3 straight TD’s and CU is down 13. The only thing I can think of is that Vasherized bet on the Rockets.

Opelt 4 Heisman!

Just turned it on to see Toledo’s white QB take it 65 yards up the gut for a TD. Buffs getting outyardaged by 200 still.

Can’t believe we got beat straight up about 5 times to Hawk in recruiting

You’re safe. 44-24 now and Hawkins threw a sweet INT with 14:04 to go in the 4th.

I’m pretty sure Opelt would be disqualified from any women’s events by the IAAF because he lacks a womb and ovaries. I’m not sure you can say the same thing for the Colorado defense.

Sailer, I hadn’t thought of that. That would be outstanding.

how did I miss this game?

microwrestling.com

Toledo’s skill players are moonlighting.
 
Continue to Micro Wrestling Federation.
Home of the worlds most professional Midget and Dwarf Wrestling athletes.
Our shows range from 3 to 10 midgets.
BOOK NOW!

I think he just got fired on that last play… half a hundred plus one. ouch!

Toledo’s QB looks like The King of Queens and he ran up the gut for 61 against the Colorado D. That’s amazing.

Woody. Thank you for that.

On the plus side, Cody Hawkins won’t remember how bad he played after getting Klatterized by that Toledo player.

Poor bastards.

2nd Half Suicide Hotline Thread

I couldn’t believe my eyes. Colorado is that bad? Colorado is that slow? I was surprised to see that Colorado was only a 3.5 point fave. Toledo?? Efffing Toledo?

That might be the worst defense I’ve ever seen.

I put this up over at OBK. Get it in now as I’m sure resumes will be flooding in.

Those of you with any interest in coaching college football, please send your resumes to:

University of Colorado
UCB 357
Boulder, CO 80309
Phone #1: (303) 492-5626

I wouldn’t hire Hawkins to run a brothel.

Imagine the John Mackovic years. Now imagine that Mackovic insisted on playing JohnnyM (a good guy and a solid intertubes poster) as quarterback.

You’re a Colorado fan.

“I wouldn’t hire Hawkins to run a brothel.”

He’s the perfect guy to run a brothel. He’s an expert on getting his team fucked.

OK, that picture of the Bison being run off a cliff is really, really disturbing.

Nailed it trips. What a cluster.

The world’s most profession midget and dwarf wrestling athletes? Who wants professional in their midget and dwarf wrestlers? Give me rank amateurism.

With A&M’s strong showing against UM, the only question is which of the North dregs can beat the other two to the bottom. My bet is a CU-ISU-KSU finish. Snyder won’t let KSU win that race.

“OK, that picture of the Bison being run off a cliff is really, really disturbing.”

If you turn it sideways, it looks like Ralphie and his friends are running for yet another CU touchdown.

Tell your kids that the lead buffalo is somersaulting into the end-zone.

Colorado Football, where nepotism lives.

What kind of a moron schedules a cross country Friday night road game after just playing on SUNDAY?

That was bad last night. Really bad.

When the announcers begin to opine about how the head coach’s job is safe, it’s safe to say the head coach in question has jumped the shark.

Hook ’em!

Aaron Opelt, from the post-game press conference, on his 61 yard “scamper” for a TD:

“I didn’t know I could still run like that,” Opelt said. “I got out in the open field and it shocked me a little bit.”

Cute. Just don’t try it against a D-1 defense.

"OK, that picture of the Bison being run off a cliff is really, really disturbing."

If you look closely the lead buffalo has 70-3 branded on his side..

First, sessamoid FTW.

Second, I’m curious as to the true nature of the spectrum of “professionalism” in midget wrestling. Very curious. Would I feel a natural sense of accomplishment if I were a midget wrestler and was thought of as more professional than my shrimpy colleagues?

This is no defense of the scheduling because I think CU still may have lost if they had a full week to prepare, but scheduling a Sunday game followed by a road trip for a Friday night game was amazingly idiotic. I’m not even sure that’s been done before???

I don’t know whether they had an option not to play Friday. It was Toledo’s home game, and it was the WWL.

But obviously they took the TV exposure on both ends of the week, and, um, it did not pay off.

Strange things happen in the Glass Bowl. KU went up there three or four years ago and lost in OT to an inferior Rocket team. But CU appears to be much worse than that KU team that had Adam Barmann at QB.

I’ll bet a lot of people made money on that Colorado game. Next CU plays Wyoming in a battle of states that are geographically identical… they go to West Virginia after that… and then to Texas, where the Buffs will be promptly prison sexed.

Our shows range from 3 to 10 midgets.

From this point forward, I’m going to estimate everything in units of midgets.

• I’m approximately 2 midgets tall.

• Austin is roughly 500 kilomidgets from Dallas.

• My home is approximately 200 square midgets.

• The average life expectancy for a male is 75 years, or 12 midget-years.

CU should have seen this coming during Hawkins’ famous rant 2 1/2 years ago:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9S3RbRifTSk&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fvideo.google.com%2Fvideosearch%3Fq%3Ddan%2520hawkins%2520rant%26oe%3Dutf-8%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla%3Aen-US%3Aofficial%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26um%3D1%26ie%3DUTF-&feature=player_embedded

Coach Dan – time to go coach intramurals, Brother.

When he finalizes morphing into Winnie the Pooh.

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