Fun With GameDay Texting

The AgAssist text system is one of Bill Byrne's brilliant brainstorms developed to deal with Kyle Field's Old Testament critter plagues (crickets, bats, ear mites, otters, mastodons...

) general stadium complaints (quality of Aggie football) or safety issues (Bill Byrne within 50 yards of an elementary school).

Witness its ease of use and monetized fee structure!

Guests who wish to report issues and concerns, or call for assistance in a fast, easy and convenient way can do so by texting our AgASSIST text message service. Send your text to 97178 with the word AgASSIST followed by your issue and location. Stadium personnel will respond quickly and accordingly. Standard text messaging rates apply.

I can't speak to its efficacy as it was devised by a man who can't create a hyperlink and writes at a 6th grade level, but if my Longhorn, Big 12, and college football brethren don't ritually abuse this system on Saturday, then my faith in Man has been inexorably shaken.

Some suggested gameday texts:

this jim ed...am releasing so many scorpionz to kill cricketz - your welcome

aggie band member violated me w/ piccolo in south concourse men's bathroom...ok to smoke there?

I WILL FIGHT ANY WOMAN @ KYLE FIELD FOR INTERGENDER WORLD TITLE, WHO WANTS HER CROTCH KICKED?

question: anthrax would kill bats, right? just asking. no real reason. hahaha!

85 scholarships. One cup.

Coach Sherman, this is Todd from Arp! I have an awesome play idea! Meet me in nine minutes on the railroad tracks.

I JUST SAW LEE GRIMES CLOG A TOILET IN THE WOMEN's BATHROOM HIS TURD WRAPPED THE BOWL LIKE A COBRA BUT THERE IS NO FLUTE THAT WILL MAKE IT RISE

person in sec 41, row 18 not swaying w Ag spirit - will stab her in liver w housekey unless you say otherwise - CB: 281-445-1099

MR BYRNE NO THIS IS NOT THE BEST CORN DOG I HAVE EVER HAD YOUR SIGN ASSURES ME THAT IT WOULD BE I WISH FOR RECOMPENSE

hi...lol...wut r u doin? cum over ltr? u r hot...i drunk...who this...lol

11122221212122 skynet @ agassist initiatehumaneradicationsequence 1111221212212212122122

Jerrod Johnson here. On 24 X Flow Z Cross, is my first key the strong safety after the TE drags? It's 3rd and Goal and you've got like twenty seconds to get back to me...

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