Why Texas Stomps a Mudhole In TAMU's Ass

TAMU blows. THis will be a repeat of the first half vs. Baylor. I expect to see more rushing from COlt in this game.

Gideon for Heisman

“This Texas team is going to hoist that ATM team over its shoulders, terrify onlookers with a guttural cry as its arms are held high, and then de-spine the aggie spirit and dine on their still warm entrails while the ghost of E. King Gill simultaneously weeps and masturbates into a mason jar. "

Solid.

“And Colorado.”

“They’ve comfortably been handed their heads by any team that was sober and carried a pulse at kickoff. And Colorado.”

Solid-er.

Damn you HJ and my being forced to intersperse work and reading this!

Now we need to cut the heads off of TWO live roosters.

Thanks a lot Bin Laden.

CTJ,

Let’s talk about what happened last night? HJ said you were run out of a bar while fearing for your life.

Was HJ doing the chasing?

Who was the guy that wrote one of these before Tech last year? I’m in no way comparing A&M and 2008 Tech, but I just seem to remember that guy being a colossal jinx.

The week can officially begin. Mudhole season is here.

Listen, the only scary things about Kyle Field are the architecture and the general ledger entries within the Athletic Department offices.

Nice one.

A quick search revealed to me that CTJ does this annually.

Shit.

I feel the exact same way. My only concern is injuries from cheap shots.

In no way, shape or form does this make up for the “Tracking Baylor” entry you swore a blood oath to deliver.

Nothing like a mudhole post to capture that howling at the moon quality that is essential to the college football experience. Beneath the hyperbole there is solid reasoning too.

We’re hearing a lot of big talk from aggy this week

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/sports/college/texas/6734506.html

but it sounds like delusional wishful thinking to me. The columnist picked out one game out of the last 20 to make his point and ignored a number of, well, mudhole games.

 If we play anything close to our normal game, this one gets ugly.

Agree completely. Sherman will be enjoying his creamed corn at halftime to the tune of being down four touchdowns and one field goal thanks to a false start on Chris Hall on 2nd and 8.

Aggie Yell Leader Casey Schaffer from Double B on Vimeo.

Oops—bad math. Make that one out of the last 30 games. The song remains the same.

Nice jizz jar reference.

Are you telling me that you would turn down $10,000 to come in late for work ?

“while the ghost of E. King Gill simultaneously weeps and masturbates into a mason jar. "

Personally, I think a jar full of semen and tears pretty well captures the essence of Aggy Football.

And their win against Tech was because all of Tech’s DE’s were hurt…

I hope you’re right, CTJ, but Jesus Christ… given that you made the exact same predictions prior to the Tech game last year, can you please, pretty please, SHUT THE FUCK UP??? You are a fucking jinx!

The jinx stuff, it never gets old. That game will be won or lost by Texas through no effort of my own. Further, I have done about 15 mudholes and the ones that were clearly wrong were Stanford in 2000, Arkansas in 2002, and Texas Tech in 2008. Ohio State in 2005, UNC in 2000, on and on, none of those appear to have been jinxed, but maybe I just don’t understand the definition.

Sadly, the most entertaining mudholes are the ones that are wrong. There are people that went back onto that thread last year and actually blame me for the loss. That is all kinds of awesome.

Ask and recieve Wednesday off? Check
Sneak out of Tues. afternoon conference early? Check
Acquire Spaten Oktoberfest on way home? Check
Open said Oktoberfest? Check
Read Mudhole and get absurdly fired up? Check
Thanksgiving weekend officially begun? Check

Awesom, awesome stuff.

BTW, I tried to run through my living room wall after reading this, so CTJ if you could tell me where to send the bill, that’d be great.

We’d better stomp them into the ground.

One of my “friends” posted a status on FB advertising an extra ticket to the game, but disallowing any Texas fans. WTH? Seriously? They are THAT insecure? Consequentially, I hope we pitch a shut out and cause their fans to sit there in stunned silence. I would never have done that to my aggie friends if I had an extra ticket to the game when it’s at Texas. Just one of many reasons why it is so much better to be a Longhorn than an aggie.

Sasah if I had an extra ticket to the aggie game at DKR-TMS, I wouldn’t sell it to any of my aggie friends.

Of course, I don’t have any aggie friends.

Tell us how you really feel.

I would never have done that to my aggie friends if I had an extra ticket to the game when it’s at Texas.

I believe this is the first time I’ve said this to someone on the internet, but you really need to take this stuff more seriously.

Damn you Bateshorn! I’m still approx 30 hours away from the commencement of my Thanksgiving holiday.

Yeah, CTJ, I just … I’m a man who runs his mouth an awful lot on an awful lot of things, and I’m far from a person who’ll believe in any jinx (as you said — it’s up to the coaches and the team, and wearing your lucky garter belt or having a hot dog at lunch time has no effect on anything). But it’s that simple fact that it’s up to the team to do it or not that I’m hesitant to ever boast so arrogantly, “Hey, we gonna stump a mudhole in our opponent.” It’s not merely that I don’t wanna be That Guy, it’s that it is the team that does it.

Also, as a hardcore fan, I have enough of my happiness pathetically bound up in the outcome of the games that I don’t need to add on to it by exposing myself to that kind of embarrassment if I’m wrong.

But see, now you’ve become That Guy, and if we somehow show up sleepwalking and lose to a motivated and surprisingly talented A&M squad, you’re gonna be the guy everyone’s gonna say, “See how those Longhorn fans are.”

meh, whatever

CTJ is actually Chris Hall. “Closetojumping” is his nom de voyage, or the name he travels under.

Fuck’em

Nordberg, you said it wrong. It’s nom de fromage I think.

We always lose when he does this.

The ear hair made me laugh btw.

Excellent dibollhorn reference re: dominanting.

i can remember when i got into a fight with dibollhorn like in 2002.

“This is a Texas ATM team that was taught how to squeal like a pig by the Razorbacks themselves.”

I started laughing until I remembered that my little stepsister will be attending one of these schools starting Fall 2010. She doesn’t understand that it will take less than a month for her to start flashing the Horns down sign. Ah, well…

Texas Fight!

I’m glad I read this.

Good bull.

“We don’t care how about how many stacks of logs they wish they could light on fire….”

This was seen on facebook today (from an obviously moronic aggy):

“When those clowns protested the Vietnam War and spit on the soldiers when they returened to the States, they showed their true colors. For all the Vietnam Veterans out there, the Texas Aggies will avenge the way you were treated when you got back from your tour of duty.”

Yes, aggy will be playing for valor this Thursday.

Wow, a scally sighting.

Personally, I think a jar full of semen and tears pretty well captures the essence of Aggy Football.

Only if it is livestock semen.

This will be a mudhole the likes of brothers friend chicken could not duplicate.

Reality should set in for the Ags midway thru the 2nd quarter. I give them a fighting chance til then, when our adjustments and talent take over.

We put up awful performances against them from 2004-2007. Mack broke that trend last year and I think the 5-day turnaround helps more than hurts. It’s always amusing to read articles like the one linked above – aggies will never change. I’ll never forget going to the game in 99, all was solemn and respectful leading up to and during the game. After they pulled out the win, it was like the Bonfire tragedy never happened. Just endless shit-talking and "tu"bashing followed by a year’s worth of “20-16” sigs on hornfans.

Mudhole. Then on to other business.

The Jinx is real and terrible you cock peeker. Its power has beeen apparent since the Carter administration.

“allegedly a rivalry”

thanks for the belly laughs. great writeup.

No human being that takes a daily 3 hour nap and concocts an offensive gameplan in a hammock while play tic-tac-toe with his great grandchildren is going to outclass or outprepare Sherman. Pull yourselves together. One of these coaching staffs will be playing chess on Thanksgiving night, the other will be trying to stay one step ahead of Alzheimer’s.

Greg? Greg! Oh shit. Greg must have left his Big Chief tablet at the Whataburger. Okay Colt. You and Major are going to have to make this happen. Why are you two smiling?

I feel compelled to share this picture that someone shared with me.

Seriously, what is CTJ’s mudhole record? Surely Huck has been keeping track.

Is it me or is the graphic nature of CTJ’s writing getting even more over the top and disgusting? Personally, I could do with more of the nap taking humor and less of the jar full of …. humor. Maybe I’m too old .

topo gigio—

You do understand that the aggie corps members have a tradition of masturbating into a group mason jar and then putting the jar on top of the bonfire, right? I am not much into genitals humor, but that was too easy and germane to leave out.

Beyond that, I guess you can always not click the thread.

TxTower—

I can’t be certain, but it feels like 12-3. Perhaps 20-3. I can’t remember.

CTJ:

I realize you may not be into genitals humor much, but how could you not mention “Squeeze Ags!”

"while the ghost of E. King Gill simultaneously weeps and masturbates into a mason jar. "

If one loses focusness while attempting to fill the jar, never ask a girl for a “little help”. They understand nothing about tradition…

Every time I am forced to reexamine, however briefly, the aggy jizz jar concept, I arrive at the same conclusion:

What an absolutely perfect encapsulation of all that aggy is.

Don’t let CTJ kid you — he’s TOTALLY into genitals humor. He’s into anything regarding genitals, actually.

Classy.

Sailor -

Now you see why I have no desire to help you build your little site chain?

The refusal to remain focused on sports and insistence on attacking and verbally belittling an entire fanbase is not something I can get on board with. From either side.

Hope you guys make the trip to College Station tomorrow. We would love to have you.

Gig ’Em

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NUxFE2oJ-M&feature=PlayList&p=8BCAB15560C6FF05&index=16

So it’s our fault that you jar your knuckle babies and use it as an accelerant on bonfires? Exactly how do we NOT talk about this?

Great post CTJ. Definitely on the edge, but that’s what this site is all about.

I hope that the Horns stomp such a giant mudhole in the aggies that highlights from the game are posted on YouPorn Friday morning under the tag “GAPING”.

Hook Em Horns, and Happy Thanksgiving.

This delivered all that a Mudhole Post is supposed to deliver.
 
Nicely done.

“Sailor –

Now you see why I have no desire to help you build your little site chain?

The refusal to remain focused on sports and insistence on attacking and verbally belittling an entire fanbase is not something I can get on board with. From either side.

Hope you guys make the trip to College Station tomorrow. We would love to have you.

Gig ‘Em"

My goodness. Seriously? What a whiny douchebag. I get that what you wrote can genuinely be your mindset. And goodness knows, you’re entitled to it. But you look like such a cunt for posting it on this thread, rather than letting Sailor know in a private exchange.

What a load of bullshit. Any aggy that wants to feign the moral high ground about deriding a whole fan base can spare everyone the dramatics. Aggies as a group have made it clear to everyone what they are really about, and no attempt to put on airs changes what’s said and done by action or complicity. Call out your own little cult first and then talk to us about class.

Why Texas Stomps a Mudhole In TAMU’s Ass?

Because they can.

aggy is ranked 100th in total defense behind teams such as SMU, La-Lafayette and Bowling Green. If the stupid tub of goo that occupies UT’s OC position cannot figure out how to put up 60+ points on that mess, then we don’t deserve to play for anything of significance.

Even with a Greg Davis special, we put up 27 points (one special teams/defensive score included).

No way Aggy tops that mark.

I’ve been a Longhorn for a long time and didn’t know about the jar in the sweaty palms in the bonfire thingy. Prevailing November winds would carry the vaporized semen ashes SE toward Houston. That explains a lot.

I just saw South 06 wrote the same note here as on the other thread. Who is he?

Oh, is chess the game Muschamp is playing? I couldn’t recognize it.

Love to see CtJ grow a sack, eat some crow, and perhaps even offer an apology to we “mouthbreathers” who didn’t think the A&M game would be a walk in the park. If you are going to spend the time writing up that asinine of a post and be that utterly wrong, you need to own up. Big time.

I think you misunderstood the intent of his post. I wouldn’t hold your breath awaiting the apology.

Blake Borron—

You are the exact kind of douche I was mocking. Thanks for making an appearance and making this post complete.

I didn’t actually want an apology and wasn’t offended at all, that was obviously a joke, but if you are actually trying to say the entire point of that post was sarcasm and you were conversely arguing that it would be a close game, you completely failed to get that across in your post. If your point is still that you are trying to make fun of people who thought it would be a good game, then I don’t know how I am the kind of douche you were “mocking,” sense the game turned out to be worth worrying about. Either way, your last message makes absolutely no sense…