Trail Mix
by Barking Carnival Staff on Dec 4, 2009 2:38 PM CST
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Print...because potpourri is only for perverts and Democrats.
Scipio's already penned great previews of our match-up with the Huskers on both sides of the ball and CTJ has blessed us with the first ever back to back mudholes. I feel safe in saying that this practice has now reached that transcendent level of tradition where it need no longer be encumbered by articles of speech. It is now simply known as Mudhole.
[Jim Gaffigan Audience Voice]Hey buddy, is that a Bonfire joke? You're a jerk![/]
Is he going to do the whole post in that voice?
The Huskers enter the game with a 9-3 mark and I'll just go ahead and point out that it's right where we had them in the preseason. Damn we're good. It's a wonder anyone else even still tries anymore. They do however and speaking of everyone else our friend Hiphopopotamus from Oread Boom Kings brings to our attention this fantastic column from Jason Whitlock, excoriating most of the major sports writing world for their mock indignation and rank hypocrisy but also for their smug insistence that everyone kiss their proverbial ring. We here at BC aren't sure what's so wrong with the latter but none the less Whitlock does a wonderful job of pinpointing just what it is much of the media is truly outraged over in the Tiger Woods matter and likely burns no small number of bridges in the process. Whitlock's an interesting character in that he's often capable of truly thoughtful insight on any topic not involving the state of Texas. An old Big 8 guy, Whitlock's like that racist old uncle at the barbeque and at the slightest prompting will blame nearly any social ill on the nefarious cabal of the Bilderberg Group, international Jewry, and Belmont Hall. No matter what he tells you Frank Erwin was not on the Warren Commission.
Charlie Weis and Mark Mangino are out. I don't have any new fat jokes so just pick your favorite and recite it to yourself. Notre Dame looked to Bob Stoops to fill the vacancy and he was all over it until he received their offer of 17 dollars an hour and an Applebees expense account. Yes we'd like you to accept less money for a job with tougher recruiting restrictions and academics. And we'd like you to start this afternoon thanks. Greatness but I chafe at the notion that only Notre Dame is capable of such monumental hubris. Heck, we were pulling this trick twenty years ago with John Cooper. In any case there are rumors out there the Notre Dame may still be trying to sweeten the deal. I'm picturing a half used Entertainment coupon book.
On the hardwood we continue to crank out workmanlike twenty point victories without a clue yet as to our identity but I can't manage to get too worked up over it at this point, mostly because anything that drives Trips Right crazy is probably good for America.
In any case, to bring it back to the game tomorrow, all indications are that we should feel pretty confidant. We go into the game with mostly favorable match-ups and we're relatively healthy with the only guys limited being Aaron Williams and Jordan Shipley.
Wait, what?
Yeah, apparently it's a we're-not-quite-sure-how-serious case of turf toe. He's going to start but if he comes out during the course of the game our chances of victory slip to slightly above average. Oh well. Nothing to do at this point but light a candle to Freddie Steinmark. Defensively we obviously need AJ on the field as much as possible as the combination of Gideon and Brewster leads to the predictable results of late help coming from over the top, missed tackles and violent masturbation from ClosetoJumping. And nobody wants that.
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If we lose, the consolation will be watching CloseToJumping harangue and mock 70 year old Nebraska fans in between fits of projectile vomiting.
by Trips Right on Dec 4, 2009 2:56 PM CST reply actions
“Pretty Confidant” sounds like a Bond girl, so it stands to reason that we should feel her…
by longhornss on Dec 4, 2009 3:06 PM CST reply actions
I’ve had at least 3 Aggies tell me today that Nebraska wants revenge for the time we beat them in this game a couple of years back. I remind them it was in 1996 when most of the players on both teams were in grade school and could give a rat’s ass about what happend then.
Doesn’t faze ‘em. They just get this semi-glazed but self-satisfied grin on their faces, sort of like Trips gets when he scorfs his wife’s chimichangas (double entendre) and walk off knowlingly.
Fun read, MH.
by beowulf on Dec 4, 2009 3:12 PM CST reply actions
Jordan Shipley is not injured. Aaron Williams is not even on the injury report. Mudhole.
by Newy25 on Dec 4, 2009 3:30 PM CST reply actions
They also got their revenge by blowing it late against Tech last year.
by Horncasting on Dec 4, 2009 3:33 PM CST reply actions
What? I don’t understand your post directed at me beowulf. I was just pointing out another reason why I think the “revenge” factor against us is nonexistent. I have heard and read numerous times that they are seeking revenge for us upsetting them in 1996. All I was pointing out was the fact that they already got the chance to avenge that loss and did so…in 1999. Am I missing something?
by t1climb1 on Dec 4, 2009 3:43 PM CST reply actions
Yeah. You’re missing your sarcasm meter. Or you need to make a drastic adjustment to it.">)
by beowulf on Dec 4, 2009 3:48 PM CST reply actions
My bad. I must have stopped reading at the word aggie. I thought I was accused of being an aggie “lurker” or something. I just noticed the 2%er comment.
I’ll now go back to stealing my paycheck as I have been completely and utterly useless this week at work.
by t1climb1 on Dec 4, 2009 3:52 PM CST reply actions
Damn I thought I was in a friggin nightmare and this article as shitty as it is was in the Basketball Articles which rules . You know that Trips does not play well with others,unless they are hanging on a silver pole on a stage.
by SkyMonkeyHorn on Dec 4, 2009 4:09 PM CST reply actions
I had turf toe my senior year in HS. I caught a WR screen, broke it, and had a safety get me on an angle down the sidelines. His mouthbreathing twit of a cohort at LB came running up after the tackle and swandived onto both of us as we were getting up. My body collapsed but my foot was stuck in the turf. F Deer Park in the face.
Anyway, the injury is an absolute bitch. It debilitates like few playable injuries do. The staff had the metal shop class carve a metal gridded sheet out in the image of my sole and then the trainers taped over it and put it in my shoe. “Oh yeah, if you get support, you can play.” Uh huh.
I didn’t practice all week, but I popped about 15 advils and 15 mini-thin ephedrines (they were legal in 1993-1994) the day of the next game against, at the time, the cupcake Pearland, and went out and played. I followed that same drill for the final 8 games.
Playing through the injury ended up stress fracturing the entire philangeal column of my right foot, I lost about 3 steps, and it permanently deformed me physically unless I want to have the foot rebroken and surgically repaired, but, hey, I got to play my entire senior season of high school. That included getting kicked in the nuts by Shannon Stephens at Clear Lake (Notre Dame) and watching my friend get used as a projectile weapon by Casey Hampton. Good times. I hope Shipley makes the most of his time on Saturday, plays through the pain, and then recovers fully before the MNC. It is a fixable problem with a long period of rest, depending upon the severity.
by CloseToJumping on Dec 4, 2009 4:20 PM CST reply actions
Does “turf toe” have to happen on turf? If so, it happened late in the KU game (on our turf) and not in the TAMU game (grass).
by TaylorTRoom on Dec 4, 2009 4:34 PM CST reply actions
You don’t need artificial turf to get turf toe. It certainly helps. Turf toe is basically a broken big toe, usually a seriously broken big toe. I think. That’s what it was for me.
by CloseToJumping on Dec 4, 2009 4:50 PM CST reply actions
Freddie Steinmark has been visited and one properly burned at Wheat Ridge cemetery, very nice place lovely view of the mountains to the west.
by Colorado Longhorn on Dec 4, 2009 5:13 PM CST reply actions
CTJ- He does not have turf toe. He is running around practice ripping shit up as usual.
by Newy25 on Dec 4, 2009 5:43 PM CST reply actions
http://www.fieldturf.com/news/P10/university-of-texas-new-fieldturf-surface-inaugurated/
But we get to earn money hosting playoff games, which is nice.
by Bateshorn on Dec 4, 2009 6:25 PM CST reply actions
He does not have turf toe. He’s running around as Newy stated. We’ll get a big game from him tomorrow night.
by beowulf on Dec 4, 2009 6:42 PM CST reply actions
CTJ-
Who did you play for? La Porte? Clear Creek? Maybe not them. I played back then too. I got my only turf toe injury when I was in 7th grade. I intercepted a pass playing middle linebacker right before the half and after rumbling(that’s what i did since i wasn’t fast) down to the 3 the St. John’s QB caught me from behind(didn’t think being slow would result in a Deliverance type moment, but what would a SJS guy do about those tendencies in grade school, give him 30 years and he’d be completely out of the closet grabbing people from behind)
He facemasked me and the slow ass refs couldn’t see it, but that maneveur made me get turf toe. We went on to a 12-12 tie. And I got kicked out of that dreadful private school my junior year and got to play 5A football the next year in 1993.
The toe hurt but i never missed a down playing both ways
by UT wildcatter on Dec 4, 2009 10:37 PM CST reply actions
Switzer, Just picked Texas over Neb and Fla over the Tide.
And Fla would be favored but Texas wins in Pasadena because we have Colt. For what it’s worth.
by Donald Mohler on Dec 5, 2009 7:37 AM CST reply actions
UT Wildcatter – where did you go to school that you were playing SJS? I am a SJS grad from ’86.
by topo gigio on Dec 5, 2009 4:38 PM CST reply actions
Kinkaid from 5th grade until my junior year then I got kicked out and had to go to Robert E. Lee
Scott Bell ran me down
by UT wildcatter on Dec 6, 2009 11:01 AM CST reply actions
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