I'm Shocked, I'm Stunned: Tennessee Football Under NCAA Investigation

And in related news, Tiger Woods recently said the Vols have started recruiting him at strong safety.

The following passage from the article is unintentionally priceless -

“Two of Lattimore’s teammates, Brandon Willis and Corey Miller, have orally committed to Tennessee. Lattimore described the hostesses as "real pretty, real nice and just real cool." He said he thought they had "a lot" of influence in Miller’s and Willis’s commitments to Tennessee.”

The hostesses have a lot of influence securing oral commitments. Yes.

Interesting. If the girls went to high school games but had no contact directly with the prospective student-athlete, it probably was not a violation.

Every school uses the hostesses. Hell, James Street decided to attend Texas before he even claimed his bag at the Austin airport during his official visit because Farrah Fawcett was there to pick him up.

I’m shocked and stunned that Thayer Evans helped write the article.

First, I’d like to know if the hostesses can pass the elbow test (similar test given to secretaries).

Second, this would be a tip of the iceberg investigation, and allow Tennessee an out to admit this and sweep all other transgressions under the rug…for now.

Oh, and Turtle, all my assistants like to fuck. I ask them during the interview.

This thread is useless without pics of the hostesses. NCAA should take away some schollies.

Thayer really dislikes hot women, especially ones that kiss each other. What’s his deal?

eskimohorn, I think it starts with the fact that his name is Thayer. He might as well have been born with a dick growing out of his forehead.

They brought signs that said “come to Tennessee” – that’s a violation.

Did anyone else see the Pete Thamel/Thayer Evans article that claimed Tecas only made the BCS title game because they started the season ranked higher than TCU? Then how does that explain how Alabama started the season lower than Texas but finished higher? Or that Texas actually beat TCU in all the computer polls except Sagarain – and Sagarin doesn’t even like his own BCS formulation, he likes the one that has Texas second.

The NYT coverage is laughable. Thamel is a Florida alum and we all know of Thayer’s bias. The fact that a major paper not only employs these two but gives them free reign to grind their rivalry axes is mind blowing. I’m thankful I don’t have to endure another month of Tebow fellating. So exhausted were they for more content they ran a 1/2 page article last Thursday….on his BROTHER. The MNC matchup is literally their worst nightmare as homer journalists.

Our sign said: Cum to Tennessee

I wonder if they choppered those broads to and fro.

Judging by Marcus Lattimores last quote, Ole Miss should have been in the sweepstakes.

It will be tough for me to one day marry any girl that I didn’t know during her college days. So many women are reformed cum dumpsters, and we all know, that’s not something you reform.

Fuck the New York Times.

Finally hostesses get some press. I have long thought they were the most underrated/overlooked recruiting tool there is. Facilities, scheme, coaching, depth chart, conference, tradition, jobs for your relatives, academics are what everyone talks about as deciding factors but a little well-placed 5-star poontang trumps all of that.

Oh god please tell me there is not another 5* Tebow recruit in the pipeline.

The most important thing is to assure the fastest and most talented 4 and 5 star recruits that they can date the white girls on campus.

The gomers and the domers fail this test completely. Hence, their poor recruiting success.

“Uh, Coach Kiffin, Brandy was really nice. It was great you sent her to the game, but, uh, next time could you send your wife?”

Signs with Tennessee

Hostesses let them PIITB.

Pussy remains undefeated.

awesome.

What have the Tri Delts done for the university recently?

I knew only one Texas Cowgirl in my university days. I can’t remember her name, but we referred to her as Marathon Sex Girl.

And that’s what I’m afraid I’ll marry, however if one is to consume MSG, it might as well be her.

I went to a school with.a bunch of pasty neo feminists from Massachusetts.
But hey, we had a lobster bake my senior year.

Surely these recruits ask for something up front…I mean, what a cruel joke otherwise.

Don’t call me surely.

Airplane.

“It will be tough for me to one day marry any girl that I didn’t know during her college days. So many women are reformed cum dumpsters, and we all know, that’s not something you reform.”

magnus, you should know full well that unless the “lady” in question had a chastity belt or a gps chip with a tracking history she’s willing to provide, you really didn’t “know” her during her college days.