Why Texas Stomps a Mudhole in Alabama

Game. Set. Match.

You have redeemed Scipio, CTJ.

The Stares blankly on the radio was a nice touch.

Colt wins this one with his feet.

Beat ’Bama.

This guy will be on the sidelines.

Confident and loose.

You done insulted Texas with that fight’n for the North bit…

I love that aggy is jumping on the Bama bandwagon to try and steal some of the spotlight. I guess they can count this as some kind of ‘win’ too.

Until they can’t.

Glad that’s over with. How am I supposed to feel for the game again?

You’re certainly due. I like it, but I also believe Jonathan Swift was a cannibal deep down inside.

Great post!!

This one felt much, much better than the Nebraska one did, for some reason,

Game On, Coach!

“With McCoy moving and throwing, he’s at his best. It negates a lot of the OL risk and opens up a number of options that Davis normally doesn’t provide within both the running and passing game.”

A-f’n-men. And if GD doesn’t roll Colt, he truly deserves to be fired. I look forward to seeing Cody 2-3 quarters of trying to run down our QB. We might actually be able to run late in the game if we (fingers crossed) do this right.

Does the fact that the last 2 muhole columns haven’t resulted in mudholings carry any weight? That said, I’m on board.

Mud-fucking-hole!!! Sweet!!!

I am now genuinely fired up. I was very low after Scip’s post, but honestly there’s nothing like a good solid “mudhole” post to get the blood pumping.

Well done, CTJ

I admire your unapologetic Pollyannaism, CTJ, and enjoyed the read as always. But your write-up completely ignores the one factor that has created more Chicken Littles among the Longhorn fandom than any other: Greg Davis. In that sense, your analysis is like the following review of a hypothetical fight between Mike Tyson and Stephen Hawking:

Prof. Hawking will stomp a mudhole in Tyson’s ass. For months, Hawking fans have been wringing their hands, soiling their panties and screeching “how, oh how, will our hero ever stand a chance against mean old Mike Tyson?!?” Pussies. Hawking will kill Tyson.

“But BrickHorn, Mike Tyson is so strong, quick and talented”

Sure, Tyson’s talented. But he was beaten silly by mediocre heavyweight Buster Douglas, who was able to weather Tyson’s early barrage and wear out the former champ in the later rounds. He’s not invincible. And Hawking is exceptionally smart, negating any perceived physical advantage Tyson might enjoy.

“Brick, Iron Mike has a wicked uppercut!”

Mike Tyson did have tremendous punching power. Once upon a time. Now he’s past his prime, and his power is little better than average for a world-class heavyweight prize fighter. If he’s counting on winning on punches alone, Tyson’s in for a rude awakening against Stephen Hawking. Moreover, Hawking fights with a low center of gravity and keeps his chin tucked – the perfect antidote to Tyson’s once-great uppercut.

“But Tyson is an experienced professional fighter who has several dozen knock-outs.”

Okay. And there are undefeated pee-wee hockey teams out there, too. Do any of them stand a chance against the Wayne Gretzky era Oilers? Tyson’s won a lot of fights, but many of his opponents have proven in later fights to be tomato cans. I’m not impressed with his slate of victories in the least. This is a wash at best.

Hook ’Em.

Whatever hope was left, is now gone.

Bama can be beaten, but what if Colt finally has his usual late season melt-down?

I hope to GAWD he already had it against NU.

“I watched the Fiesta Bowl the other night with a few buddies and one of them covers college sports for a living.”

Does hanging out with MK Bower really count?

SW, the bowl game is a season unto itself.

Moreover, Hawking fights with a low center of gravity and keeps his chin tucked – the perfect antidote to Tyson’s once-great uppercut.</i?

You owe me a keyboard…mine does not like Dr Pepper all over it.

Fucking italics!

Ah, Acceptance and Hope. Feels good to be back there.

long live the mudhole!

Thanks for this. After Scipio’s “let’s get back to reality” whine-and-cheese-fest, I needed a huge dose of “We are Texas and we will hook all of them!”

I. am. relieved?

This one feels right.

The entire state of Alabama is saved from dwelling in the cellar of notoriety among state reputations only by the fact that they’re bordered to the west by a 3rd world country called Louissippi.

/Guffaw

Awesome post. Hook ’em

Also — At least Louisiana has New Orleans. Hell, Mississippi has Tunica AND Biloxi. Alabama has exactly SHIT.

Insinuating that Bear Bryant is burning in hell is unnecessary, over the top, and hilarious. Well played sir.

“ScipioTex. He’s done his handle’s namesake a disservice today”

Scipio Africanus?

Also, George Wallace:

Yes… we are indeed in trouble if EVEN the mudhole post makes no mention of the texas offense versus the Bama defense.

GAME. BLOUSES.

“Yes… we are indeed in trouble if EVEN the mudhole post makes no mention of the texas offense versus the Bama defense.”

The offense will be asked to be a caretaker for the defense and ST. If everything breaks right, the offense won’t turn the ball over once, allowing better field position for the D and ST. One TD for each gets us the 14-10 victory.

Hello?!! Did you call?

Up 31-17, who needs clock management?

We are so screwed now.

Still, I admire the hubris. Nicely done.

It will be nice to have football and basketball sitting simultaneously at 14-0. At least until Saturday.

I read Scip’s treatise and I think “Damn, straight, it’s gonna be a long night,” and have a Jack Daniels lunch.

I read CTJ’s mudhole and think, “Fuck ’em and feed ’em to the fish,” and I believe I’ll have a Cutty Sark dinner.

Saban is only a letter away from Satan…something The Bear says he gets a chuckle out of….

I’s love to tell you guys what I’ve been up to here in Hades, but I’m in the infermary because I hurt my back in practice, and Lucifer doesn’t give a shit as usual. I’ll try and check back later.

Bear: Is Lucifer also a pirate and are you bothered that Grills has taken your name?

An Aggie last time:

“The entire state of Alabama is saved from dwelling in the cellar of notoriety among state reputations only by the fact that they’re bordered to the west by a 3rd world country called Louissippi. "

Did Mississippi slide off into the Gulf of Mexico while I wasn’t looking?

Only aggys would make a t-shirt for sentiment like that.

A GREAT BIG FUCKIN’ THANK YOU, CTJ!!!!
I’ve waited over a year for this and I refuse to spend these last hours rubbing my twat and crying because the other team has good players too…
FUCK BAMA IN THE MOTHERFUCKIN’ MUDHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Only aggys would make a t-shirt for sentiment like that.”

No shit. Want to support Texas, wear a Texas shirt. Instead they make maroon ones that say gig ’em. Typical.

Testosterone for the Longhorn soul—bless you, ctj.

Louisissippi is the combination of the two conjoined armpits immediately to our East.

GOAGG-

Love the Patterson Hood story about Wallace.

Do you think you can find a “3 Great Alabama Icons” out there for these ole boys?

Ask and you shall receive —

Ahahaha, Right on, Dude! Those guys are f*gs!!!

I have a motto: Expect the worst. That way, when I’m surprised, it’s usually in a good way, or relatively better, at least. I came into the world all “bright-eyed and bushy-tailed,” as the saying goes. I had Great Expectations. It wasn’t ten minutes before I wanted to crawl back into the womb.
I put aside that mantra during the Vince years. It wasn’t proper somehow.
It served me well last year. I expected nothing from the team at the beginning of the year, and they gave me one of the most enjoyable football seasons I can remember.
I haven’t enjoyed this season as much because I have mistakenly allowed my expectations to rise above the requisite depths, causing me much anxiety at times.
But I go into this game expecting the worst from our offense, so I’m sane and ready…

…to be surprised.

When is this game anyway? Next Monday?

FINALLY!!! Somebody who accurately thinks we are going to score 30! Look, even in our bad games this year, it was almost easy except for two games. OK, Colt was sick and his hand was injured leading to one of his worse games ever. In case yall forgot, we ran the ball in that game and would have won bigger if A) Colt was normal and B) Greg Davis called some long passes.

The Neb game, we dropped a TD that would have made the score 17 – 9 and effectively would have given us a pick 6 or something after that. So, with one catch we would have scored over 20 with NO running game, and barely any down field throws.

So in this game, if Colt is on, and Greg Davis calls a few bombs, we will score 30. Don’t forget that Bamma’s D gets credit for slowing down LSU of all people. WITHOUT THEIR STARTING RB AND QB LATE IN THE GAME. Bamma’s D gets credit for the weak SEC offenses. Their is not a team on Bamma’s schedule that we wouldn’t beat by a much higher margin than they did except Florida. It might be close, but I think we will smoke them 31-20.

Way to go, erndog.

I’ve got 27-17, good guys.

Back to the OU game, if Colt doesn’t fumble at the 2 or throw the pick at the 8, we score about 30 against OU.

AND, if my Aunt had balls, she’d be my Uncle!

In the last 2 seasons Alabama has lost twice as many games as a team OC’d by Greg Davis. Think about that for a minute.

After the Nebraska game I thought the Horns had no chance in the NCG. Slowly I began to come around and felt pretty confident. I mean, Jesus clearly loves him some Colt McCoy (as Ms. Glandorf is proof), and everyone knows God hates gingers. I was getting hyped for the crystal to come all the way back to Austin, Texas, baby.

Then I saw a Mudhole post by CTJ. And I wept.

We’re going to win by about 31-21, because Will Muschamp’s defense will be able to control – not shut down, but control – Alabama’s run game. If we can hold ‘Bama to 140 yards or less on the ground, they will have to try to win the game with McElroy’s arm, and that is not going to happen.

Hook ’em!!!

Thus far this year, Mudhole = Texas plays crappy

I hate you so much… it-it- the f – it flam – flames. Flames, on the side of my face, breathing-breathl heaving breaths. Heaving breath…

“Texas is going to force Greg McElroy to realize, probably early in the 2nd quarter, that he’s actually Greg McElroy. Once this self-awareness takes place, the game goes on tilt against Alabama and I don’t like their odds” posted by CTJ

Great job, CTJ. Thanks for the antidote to the blog by (I can’t make myself type his name)

Pffft…. If we’re going down I’d rather we go down flinging insults and feces instead of cowering in the corner and waiting to get smacked.

Go Horns and Bama (the entire state) sucks!

I was feeling pretty shitty about this game until I read Scipio’s blog then felt suicidal. But this mud hole has blood filling my corpora cavernosa and my only relief is a couple of roommate hooking up in the zone.

Dick game ON mutha fuckers!!!!!

Why does everyone forget that Alabama has NO offense. NONE. ZIP. NADA. NOTHINK. Unless they’re stashing a guy that can kick 75yd fieldgoals they aren’t going to score. McElroy is awful. Ingram is a middling back with lots of e. coast press. Stuff the run and let Earl play center field – ballgame. And who’s to say Saban isn’t out there interviewing for the SC job? Ya never know.

Relax people.

czarcw said: Edit

January 6th, 2010 at 5:46 pm

Thus far this year, Mudhole = Texas plays crappy

2-0

Bruno the fucking orangutan agrees:

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/sports_blog/2010/01/its-official-texas-will-win-the-bcs-title.html

czarcw said:

January 6th, 2010 at 5:46 pm

Thus far this year, Mudhole = Texas plays crappy

2-0 but you’re right because we all know that style points will be important tomorrow night. I agree.

Excellent use of a lunch hour my friend. I remember the first one of these (Stanford) like it was yesterday. I think I form tackled a ward clerk. Wherever we fall in the manic depressive rollercoaster you and Scip are riding it’s comforting to know I’ll be watching with people who care about this shit as much as I do.

Oh, and it’s your fault if we lose. Tradition requires I point that out.

We are 2-0 with mudholes. Also, just because no one has said it here yet, if we go up 2 TDs then it is over. They can’t throw it on us and won’t play well from behind. So here’s to two early scores and an insurmountable lead.

Now that I’m pregaming (what, doesn’t every start 24 hours out?), this fires me up even more.

I am SO buying a pair of elephant lucchese after we win this game,

“if we go up 2 TDs then it is over. They can’t throw it on us and won’t play well from behind. So here’s to two early scores and an insurmountable lead.”

I would slit all of your throats for a Monroe/Goodwin opening kickoff return for a TD, followed by an Earl Thomas pick six.

Just turned on the LA Lakers/Clippers basketball game and one of the announcers just said that Colt McCoy will show his greatness tomorrow.

Doesn’t really add to the discussion. Just thought that was pretty cool.

Our defense is going to be flying to the ball and playing with controlled abandon. We’re going to sack McElroy at least 3 times and force at least 2 turnovers. Colt is going to scramble effectively and make several of his patented huge plays off busted plays, throwing 3 TD passes, including the game winner to Shipley late in the 4th quarter. Texas wins 24-17. It all came to me in a dream.

Of course, I’d be equally ecstatic if we win on an intentional grounding call on McElroy in the end zone, giving us a 2-0 victory.

However it plays out, enjoy the moment. These are great days for Longhorn football. We’re playing for a NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP!! Hook ’em baby!

Rumor going around that Ron Jeremy is sporting a Longhorn cap at the Laker’s game as well. Seriously.

I’m sporting my Ron Jeremy condom (XL) right now. Seriously.

I’ve been saving my commemorative 2006 National Championship bottle of wine for tomorrow, gonna be cracking it open as the clock read :00 and Texas is NATIONAL CHAMPS!!!!!!
F*CK ALABAMA!!!

HOOK EM!!!!!!!!

I’ve been stressing out over this game ever since the end of the Big XII CG, but this put a huge smile on my face.

Also, it’s been mentioned amongst sports writers that Mack Brown really knows how to prepare his teams for bowl games ever since the Holiday Bowl debacle. But it hasn’t really been mentioned that Colt is 3-0 in bowl games, despite the first two coming after heart breaking losses to A&M and Kansas State and after last year’s disappointment of being left out of the national title game because of yet another heartbreaking loss. Texas will be prepared for this game, in spite of Davis and McWhorter, because Mack and Colt just know how to win in bowl games.

TEXAS FIGHT!

If you’ve ever visited the great state of Aleebamee you know that they already have a great quantity of mudholes. No lie.

@Pat—
Most of them exist in the middle of the roads.

Hook ’em!

At halftime, it looks like CTJ’s mudhole curse has finally caught up with UT. Let’s see how the 2nd half goes.

Man, this ctj guy makes us look like Ace Rothstein.

you wont win another MNC unless you find a run game.

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