An Introduction

by Barking Carnival Staff on Jan 19, 2010 1:06 AM CST

I would like to thank the resident scofflaws of Barking Carnival for affording me the opportunity to occasionally write here. Since I am a charter member of the narcissist club (the other co-founder is the oil used in Steve Lavin's hair), I thought I would give you a brief bio before I pitch myself headlong into the abyss.

I've been a UT fan since I can remember; the first game I can recall was watching our 15 - 15 tie against Oklahoma and realizing at the tender age of 7 that our program would likely never recover. It was only later that I realized that with enough money, the right staff (sort of) and the best players in the state that we would once again rule the roost.

I also like UT basketball although I don't watch as much of it as I'd like. I'm probably most familiar with the Penders era which was entertaining on so many different levels--from the many double dribbles of Locksley Collie to the torrid saga of Dexter Cambridge's teeming wads of cash, there was never a dull moment.

I was a Cowboys fan growing up until the Super Bowl victories and then lost all interest, although the comedy that is Wade Philips has pulled me back in to a certain extent (as did the brilliant writer behind tonyhomo.com for awhile).

I like to watch tennis occasionally if only to seek out a grunter as good as Monica Seles (still searching).

I'll only watch golf if the crowd is heckling Monty.

I watch Lucha Libre only because I have to see someone in a skeleton costume at least once a month, and I've burned out on the Karate Kid. When I lived in the SF Bay Area, I used to see midgets at least once a month in random places, so I also watch it for that since I miss gawking at them in an unseemly fashion.

I enjoyed going to Golden State Warriors games because the tickets were cheap and I could watch good basketball (from the opposing team). I was tickled pink when the section I was sitting in a few years back reacted to the prize of a signed pair of sneakers from Adonal Foyle with laughter and derision. I miss those fans. Much better and more informed than the co-eds not paying attention to football games and shouting at Matthew McConaughey back in the late 90s at UT games.

I was a huge fan of the original American Gladiators if only for the fact that seeing women that look like men was somehow thrilling. I miss the Bay Area for the same reason.

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Comments

Welcome, Boggs. Looking forward to your BCS Title game thoughts.

by admin on Jan 19, 2010 2:01 AM CST reply actions

Are you going to eat chicken before every post? We value authenticity here.

Welcome aboard man.

by Trips Right on Jan 19, 2010 5:39 AM CST reply actions

With authenticity comes the fear that he starts tonguing random objects and people around the Barking Carnival offices every time he posts an article he found memorable. Only Henry James would welcome that kind of behavior.

by SydneyCarton on Jan 19, 2010 7:15 AM CST reply actions

Please tell me the legend of you consuming 60 beers on a cross country flight is no fable.

by coloradoag on Jan 19, 2010 8:10 AM CST reply actions

Growing up as a Don Mattingly fan, I officially challenge you to a ’Stache Off.

First to shave loses.

by Vasherized on Jan 19, 2010 8:11 AM CST reply actions

Thank you for reminding me about tonyhomo.com.

“Drew, it’s 8:30 in the morning.”
“That’s burger time.”

by nordberg on Jan 19, 2010 8:48 AM CST reply actions

Did everyone on here used to live in the SF Bay Area?

I miss many of those same things…nothing like the smell of sex/cock at the Folsom Street Fair…I’d never bathed in water so hot and head to toe in antibacterial soap before.

by uthookem on Jan 19, 2010 8:48 AM CST reply actions

“seeing women that look like men was somehow thrilling”

For this crowd around here it’s normally the other way around.

by nordberg on Jan 19, 2010 8:50 AM CST reply actions

Yo Boggs —

I hope to see more sporadically obsessing columns ahead of next year’s games. Those were BFA.

by ghostofagroundgame on Jan 19, 2010 9:19 AM CST reply actions

Yeah, I spent 30 years in the SF Bay Area, that following the thrill of Leon Black’s tenure (plus one year of Lemmons) overlapping my stay at UT. Highlight: watching Pistol Pete in Gregory Gym.

by OldTimeHorn on Jan 19, 2010 9:30 AM CST reply actions

I just hope he’s not pantsed by the cast of Cheers.

by jonestopten on Jan 19, 2010 9:44 AM CST reply actions

Welcome Boggs, I look forward to always skipping everything you write until Scipio comes back to balance the writing styles out.

by mikecrabtree on Jan 19, 2010 10:19 AM CST reply actions

Welcome, Hairline. But for the record I’m not even comfortable with dogs doing this much butt-sniffing. I hope your outfit has the required number of flare items displayed.

by Dude on Jan 19, 2010 12:35 PM CST reply actions

Thanks guys. There will be an obsessive post at some point detailing my fascination with my namesake’s hairline as well as the hallowed 70 beer plane flight. I hope to get to it before tmzsports.com beats me to the punch.

by The Hairline of Wade Boggs on Jan 19, 2010 12:44 PM CST reply actions

Welcome. Hope you manage to bang a few literary doubles off the Monster in the coming months. Or real estate agents. Whichever.

by BatesHorn on Jan 19, 2010 1:21 PM CST reply actions

Yes, the legend of Boggs and the cross country flight is well, legendary

by Mysterious Package on Jan 19, 2010 1:33 PM CST reply actions

shave those sideburns, mattingly

by bighornfan32 on Jan 19, 2010 1:58 PM CST reply actions

Lord Palmerston!

by Barney Gumble on Jan 19, 2010 3:54 PM CST reply actions

Nice entrance. I think Bay Area time is a prerequisite. Somebody get Scott Peterson some computer time.

wade boggs horse rider ny cop

by magnusbleuveigner on Jan 19, 2010 8:02 PM CST reply actions

OldTimeHorn said:
January 19th, 2010 at 8:30 am
Yeah, I spent 30 years in the SF Bay Area, that following the thrill of Leon Black’s tenure (plus one year of Lemmons) overlapping my stay at UT. Highlight: watching Pistol Pete in Gregory Gym.

I was at that game! In the floor-side bleacher seats on the east side north goal. Pete scored about 200 points that night. It was awesome. Larry Lake not so much. When I was 16 years old and living on a cotton farm in Hutto, I bought a knot-hole ticket to the Army game and drove in by myself in our family ’49 Chevy standard six fastback to see Rollie Stichweh and Army get beaten by the ’Horns 16-6.

by Chili Switch on Jan 19, 2010 8:21 PM CST reply actions