John Calipari is a Caricature of Sleaze

I would watch a reality show in which Calipari was pitted against Bob Huggins, with each given a two block base and a crew of three thugs at the beginning, in a contest to control protection and numbers rackets in an old neighborhood in Queens or State Island. Wouldn’t that be awesome? And both guys highest and best use?

I would pay $1,000 to watch an hour long “conversation/debate” between John Calipari and Bob Knight about the general sport of college basketball. I’d make Scipio the moderator.

Scipio’s dead, man

Thank you for your opinion on the matter Mr. Right. We had no idea of the accusations of cheating or lack of institutional control aimed at Coach Calipari over the last fifteen years until just now. We can promise you that we’ll look into this & get back to you & the American public just as soon as we are done contemplating looking into the blatant & misleading falsehoods aimed recently at the USC football program and the Honorable Coach Carroll.

The Chancellor of Chach. Nice.

Couldn’t agree more, this guy is a time bomb. It’s only a matter of time before he starts talking about himself in the third person during press conferences.

“I thought the team executed exactly what Coach Calipari told them to do. And that’s all I can ask.”

The guy thinks he’s bigger and better than every program he’s ever coached at … where does it end?

Yeah, he makes Bob Huggins look like Tubby Smith. Anyway, did you all see the absolutely hysterical sign outside of Calipari’s house Sunday night. I don’t even think this is photoshopped:

And the ATHLETIC DEPARTMENT made these t-shirts (not a 3rd party, but the actual AD):

Seems like Kentucky and Cal are made for each other.

Sorry, sign:
http://i694.photobucket.com/albums/vv309/KUHiphopopotamus/calsignwebstandalone.jpg

and AD-sponsored t-shirts:
http://www.ukteamshop.com/wildcats/product.php?productid=3666&utm_source=bannerMAIN&utm_medium=hmpgBNR&utm_campaign=UK1TeeBnnr

Also, nice find on the Chaney clip. I’ve always loved the way he ran his program and how he coached up his guys. I grew up going to games at the Palestra watching the Big 5 and Chaney is all class.

FYI, Neon is referencing the pictures in the comments on this post.

http://oreadboomkings.fantake.com/2010/01/24/4430/

And Trips, that shot was pure luck. It’s not like we ran the exact same play and he hit the exact same shot against Texas in the Big XII championship game the year before (to send to OT).

I like Mario Chalmers because his names reminds me of Superintendent Chalmers from the Simpsons, which makes me think of Ralph Wiggum calling him “SuperNintendo Chalmers” and cracks my shit up. So I’m a big Mario Chalmers guy.

I shot a chocolate milkshake from P. Terry’s through my nose when Ralph said that and a week later had an awesome sinus infection. Guess I never got it all out.

In so many ways he is the Barry Switzer of college basketball

That’s not how you got a sinus infection. That’s what you get for tongue jacking shit boxes, or as Reece Davis calls it, rim shots.

No no Trips, P. Terry was the guy’s name.

Yeah, he could have meant any one of several definitions:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Chocolate%20Milkshake

I’m guessing it was No. 5.

Personally, I’d love to see someone break his foot off in John Chaney’s ass. He’s the guy that had one of his players deliberately injure a player on another team.

duke, true, there are plenty of feet to go around.

I throw a dinner party, I should try to seat you and the Caliparis at different ends of the table?

Coach Cal is a douche, but more importantly you can get a chocolate shake and a handjob at P. Terry’s for 5.99.

That’s not how you got a sinus infection. That’s what you get for tongue jacking shit boxes, or as Reece Davis calls it, rim shots.

This diagnosis can only come from the hazing rituals you endured in Juarez’ summer gang camp. Whatever doesn’t kill you …

Bob,

That would explain why the line is so fucking long everyday.

WOW. I saw this at the bar at lunch yesterday (no sound) and wondered why the guy in the “if I only had a brain” glasses was calling for a time out.

What does it say about Texas that Penders and Mackovic were too big of douchebags for us?

No no Trips, P. Terry was the guy’s name.

Now that’s funny.

Cheaters prosper.

Coach Cal is a douche, but more importantly you can get a chocolate shake and a handjob at P. Terry’s for 5.99.

And a sinus infection on the side.

Any real Horns basketball fan buys his never frozen skinny burger from Hat Creek, hold the sinus infection.

UK going down tonight along with Ashley Judd, well at least in my dreams.

It’s insulting to me when someone tries to defend Calipari, as just happened on an ESPN board to a comment I made. “he was just joking, don’t take it out of context.” I was also informed that he just “rose a million dollars for Haiti.” Ladies and gentlemen, your UK Wildcat fans!

As a Kentucky fan, I feel the need to post my thoughts.

First of all, I’m a believer that Calipari is as greasy as they come. Whether that makes him a bad guy is debatable. Carroll may have been the greasiest guy in college football, but seems like a genuinely good guy. Course, sports are measured by wins, not gold stars.

If you follow Tru over at A Sea of Blue (like I sometimes do), he’s posted many a furious rebuttal over some of the “accusations” that have been thrown at Calipari’s teams. He’s a far better lawyer than me (I’m a consultant, so that’s pretty obvious), but the big sticking point is that Cal himself hasn’t even been finger-pointed, only his programs. Yes, the CEO argument, etc., but if Rose had someone take the SAT, and the Memphis coaching staff didn’t know, and the NCAA cleared him, is that on Cal?

The running joke is that Calipari hangs banners, he just doesn’t stick around to see them come down. Regardless, Calipari does bring W’s to the table. As the NCAA has so clearly shown, there’s very little downside to cheating (see: OU and USC football). Ask a Kentucky fan if he would rather have a .500 program with a squeaky clean coach (BCG, perhaps?) or a couple of titles that may or may not be tainted, guess which one he’s picking. While we at Texas like to tout our (supposed) cleanliness in running our basketball and football programs, how quickly would we turn if good guy Muschamp churns out consecutive 6-6 seasons?

Further, college football’s street agents might be a sham, but college basketball’s AAU to NBA feeder system is an outright joke. This is not on college basketball coaches, but they have to make the best of it. Like Barnes, Calipari has done a great job exploiting the NBA loophole to pick up one-and-done’s to keep his program surviving. He’s also done an equally great job at these kids’ ultimate goal of making it to the Association. The Rose-Evans-Wall pipeline is obvious, but Cal has also done a good job putting marginal NBA talents like CDR and Joey Dorsey into the league. If the point of college basketball is to position yourself for the pros, why wouldn’t you go to Calipari, particularly if you’re a top flight point guard?

Finally, although one may forget thanks to the Pitino-Tubby years, Kentucky is no stranger to cheating. Their record books are more tainted than Barry Switzer’s in-between part. In the end, no one cares that OU football cheated, or than Kentucky basketball cheated. They instead see the 47 game win streak and 7 championship banners. It sucks, and it’s corrupt beyond all recognition, but that’s the way it is.

Do I wish we had a “cleaner” looking coach like Roy Williams? No doubt. But am I enjoying the #1 ranking (fleeting as it is), the best player in college basketball, the hype, the mojo, and the tradition? No doubt.

Great post, jc25. My snark on this subject was probably a bit over the top, but I’ll admit, I can’t stand John Calipari and I think Kentucky could have done so much better. I’m just glad it wasn’t with Rick Barnes.

I’ll disagree with you on that point. Leaving aside the no-go’s (Roy, K, Self, Izzo, etc.), the only comparables I can think of are:

Rick Barnes – obviously I’m happy they didn’t poach Barnes as well. Track record, Calipari has done a better job coaching, although they seem to be on par recruiting.

Jay Wright – Same greasy look but doesn’t have the scandals/baggage that follow. He’s done a great job putting together scrappy Villanova teams, but Gillispie’s teams were scrappy too. I don’t think Kentucky was looking that way.

Billy Donovan – Obviously the most accomplished resume, but is looking more and more like a Gary Williams-esque flash in the pan. Kentucky made a play before they hired Gillispie and was rejected. No way is Donovan a better option than Calipari at this point.

Unless they were harboring delusions of grandeur that they could lure someone like Izzo to Lexington, I don’t think there was a “so much better” option.

I guess I’m talking ethics and you’re talking X’s and O’s. If you take ethics out of the equation, Cal is certainly top 5.

You’d have to take Xs and Os out too Trips. Cal is pretty brutal on the Xs and Os too. He makes Rick Barnes look like Pete Carril.

Ethics-wise, dude is on par with Bob Stoops. But if the total package is…

Bob Stoops : Dennis Franchione :: John Calipari : Billy Gillispie

…I know which one I’m going for every time.

Some more propaganda for you, Trips:

http://www.cbssports.com/collegebasketball/story/12846970/kentucky-a-firsttime-loser-on-court-but-winner-off-it

Aw come on. Some of you assholes do hate Mexicans (unless they’re cleaning your house or manning your assembly line), am I right, magnus?