New NCAA Rules

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The NCAA’s Football Rules Committee proposed some new rules yesterday that could have a pretty significant impact on college football next season.

Not all of the rules will be adopted, but nevertheless we should take a look at who will be effected the most.

Proposed rules.

Rule #1. Any player who gets flagged for taunting on the way to the end zone gets the penalty assessed at the spot of the foul and the touchdown taken away.

Who it hurts: Most definitely any team with skill position talent, you know what I’m sayin’?

Who it helps: The manufacturer of Ritalin.

Rule #2. Injured players would have to be cleared by a doctor before they could be put back in the game.

Who it helps:
The prosecution at Nuremberg.

Who it hurts: Oklahoma.

Rule #3. Players’ pants would no longer have to cover the knee.

Who it helps:
Florida and Ohio State and other teams with jorts-clad fanbases.

Who it hurts:
Never nudes.

Rule #4. Eliminating the wedge on kickoffs and punts.

Who it hurts: Western civilization.

Who it helps:
The Persians.

Rule #5. Players who use eye black cannot use words, logos or other symbols.

Who it hurts: Illegitimate children.

Who it helps:
Al Jolson.

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