Colt McCoy: Smarter Than An Apostle, Dumber Than An Okie

by Scipio Tex on Mar 10, 2010 8:40 PM CST in Texas Longhorns and Other Football

The Wonderlic scores have been leaked and when something like this happens, I pretty much always blame the British and Germans.

Yes, the Zimmerman Telegram still burns in my memory.

I suppose you'd forgotten?

Anyway, what the Wonderlic definitively proves is an individual's intelligence. There is no other method more respected the world over for its ability to clearly define analytical skills, raw intellect, accumulated wisdom, and cognitive sophistication. I know this because I took a simulation Wonderlic on ESPN and I absolutely rocked it.

The highest score ever recorded was Stephen Hawking's 53. I suppose he needed every bit of those smarts to make up for his shitty range at free safety. Thanks, Blake Hawking.

Anyway, the notable QB results are:

Sam Bradford - 36
Colt McCoy - 25 *
Jimmy Clausen - 23
Tim Tebow - 22

* played for Texas

I don't mind that Colt was outperformed by a cross-eyed Apache. Bradford is a good guy. Even a place as accursed as OU is awarded one Bradford for every Bomar, Gundy, and Thompson.

I am also pleased that Colt took down Jersey Shore's own Jimmy Clausen. That message will resonate at the club.

The real conclusion that we can draw from these results is theological.

Namely, The Lord favors the milder, humbler brand of Aww Shucks evangelism espoused by McCoy and Bradford over the self-promoting in-your-face apocalyptic fundamentalism espoused by Tebow. Tebow's insatiable public ministry and public relations show "hath made himself a graven image and the Lord did smite him with a brain cloud (Scipio, 5:12)."

Make no mistake, the Wonderlic is not just a measure of intelligence (indeed, the only one that is credible) but, in this instance, it is also a measure of God's favor. Tebow must now wander in the NFL desert for seven years as a H-back to regain it.

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“I suppose he needed every bit of those smarts to make up for his shitty range at free safety. Thanks, Blake Hawking.”

Good Christ.

Tebow is awaiting the Bible verse memorization test and the famed essay question “Who killed Jesus?” (Answer in three words or less).

by coloradoag on Mar 10, 2010 8:53 PM CST reply actions

This whole “Disappear for what seems like months and then come back stronger than ever” business seems evidence of either bi-polarism or some zen master nonsense. But you are hereby forgiven.

by parlin on Mar 10, 2010 8:56 PM CST reply actions

From wikipedia:
The Wonderlic Personnel Test:…The score is calculated as the number of correct answers given in the allotted time. A score of 20 is intended to indicate average intelligence (corresponding to an intelligence quotient of 100; a rough conversion is accomplished via the following formula: IQ = (2WPT + 60). A new version was released in January 2007 called the Wonderlic Personnel Test – Revised. It contains questions deemed more appropriate to the 21st century.

Average scores for each position are:

Offensive tackle – 26
Center – 25
Quarterback – 24
Guard – 23
Tight end – 22
Safety – 19
Linebacker – 19
Cornerback – 18
Wide receiver – 17
Fullback – 17
Halfback – 16

by kafka on Mar 10, 2010 9:21 PM CST reply actions

Ha. Zimmerman Telegram. I just read Keegan’s “The First World War”. What’s your excuse you showboating asshole?

Blake Hawking is particularly inspired.

by Minnesotahorn on Mar 10, 2010 9:27 PM CST reply actions

Who told you the Wonderlic was the only credible measure of intelligence? There are probably a dozen really good measures of cognitive ability out there, probably more. I can think of several that are probably close to +1 correlated with the Wonderlic: the ASVAB, the WRAT, the WAIS, the TLA, I guess I could look up some more but those are just the popular ones. Hell, the SAT, GRE, LSAT, GMAT, and GRE are really just cognitive ability measures targeted at restricted ranges of the “g” scale.

by Sugarpants on Mar 10, 2010 9:39 PM CST reply actions

Sounds like probably sugarpants didn’t do as well on his wonderlic, probably.

by Nickel Rover on Mar 10, 2010 10:04 PM CST reply actions

Sugarpants, what’s your view on IQ?

(irony quotient)

by Scipio Tex on Mar 10, 2010 10:05 PM CST reply actions

yikes Sugarpants

by dick on Mar 10, 2010 10:19 PM CST reply actions

/changes handle to saltyhats.

by Vasherized on Mar 10, 2010 10:36 PM CST reply actions

“I don’t mind that Colt was outperformed by a cross-eyed Apache.”

That’s Cherokee to you, bitch.

by Sam Bradford on Mar 10, 2010 10:42 PM CST reply actions

“I don’t mind that Colt was outperformed by a cross-eyed Apache.” That’s Cherokee to you. One of the five friendly tribes, bitches!

by Sam Bradford on Mar 10, 2010 10:43 PM CST reply actions

If the wonderlic is a measure of God’s favor, I don’t won’t to be standing anywhere near Vince Young during a thunderstorm.

by Tim on Mar 10, 2010 10:44 PM CST reply actions

And I like to repeat myself evidently.

by Sam Bradford on Mar 10, 2010 10:44 PM CST reply actions

Laugh… my favorite college football/Bible quote since this one from 2007:

St. Osborne entered the temple area and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of Callahan and the benches of those selling recruiting rankings. “It is written,” he said to them, “This house will be called a house of the I formation, but you are making it a den of the hated West-Coast passing offense!” (The Book of Devaney 21: 12 – 13)

by Brian Hayes on Mar 10, 2010 10:46 PM CST reply actions

Correction; I don’t ‘want’ to

by Tim on Mar 10, 2010 10:47 PM CST reply actions

Didn’t VY score, like, a 16?

by Ambergris Cay on Mar 10, 2010 10:49 PM CST reply actions

I’m pretty sure Vince Young tested out of the Wonderlic when he fist fucked the NFL his rookie season. Billy Joe Tolliver, Tech’s QB claim to fame, grocery bagger, imo.

by Trips Right on Mar 10, 2010 10:59 PM CST reply actions

Paper or plastic, ftmfl.

by Trips Right on Mar 10, 2010 11:00 PM CST reply actions

Interesting tidbit, Kliff Kingsbury scored a 31on the wonderlic.

by Tim on Mar 10, 2010 11:33 PM CST reply actions

Ambergris, you got one of VY’s digits correct.

by coloradoag on Mar 11, 2010 12:00 AM CST reply actions

Coloradoag, yes, he needs to add seven zeros to that digit.

by Trips Right on Mar 11, 2010 12:26 AM CST reply actions

Bradford was able to do so well by having one eye concerned with the question he was currently answering while having his other eye pre-read the next one.

by Fritz on Mar 11, 2010 6:18 AM CST reply actions

Jesus, Sugerpants and Tim are killing BC’s wonderlic for the blog draft, costing us millions. Now all we need is a whorn appearance and we’ll be lucky to catch on as a free agent.

You two just Orakpo’d us.

by Batehorn on Mar 11, 2010 6:32 AM CST reply actions

Sugarbritches -

Two words: padded headboard..

by Blackie Luksa on Mar 11, 2010 7:15 AM CST reply actions

Trips, it simply shows that the Wonderlic test is not indicative of future performance in football. Dan Marino notched a 16, Alex Smith a 40, etc.

by coloradoag on Mar 11, 2010 7:19 AM CST reply actions

I like how your bible verse is the Austin area code

by Nero on Mar 11, 2010 8:44 AM CST reply actions

“Scipio, 5:12”

Amazon link to purchase hardcover copy, please.

by NateHeupel on Mar 11, 2010 9:06 AM CST reply actions

Tebow didn’t get a perfect score? Obviously there’s something wrong with the test.

by Lark 47 on Mar 11, 2010 9:15 AM CST reply actions

Didn’t Vince get a 15? Not a good score but not braindead territory.

Over/under on Dez Bryant’s score?

by nordberg on Mar 11, 2010 9:41 AM CST reply actions

@nordberg:
Threeve

by hg03 on Mar 11, 2010 9:49 AM CST reply actions

Did the Boz ever take it?

by Craig Biggio's Dirty Uniform on Mar 11, 2010 10:05 AM CST reply actions

“Bradford was able to do so well by having one eye concerned with the question he was currently answering while having his other eye pre-read the next one.”

If they ever do a movie of Richard Pryor’s “Mudbone” stories, Bradford can play “Cockeyed Junior.”

by Blueshorn on Mar 11, 2010 10:09 AM CST reply actions

I think Vince got a 6.

Here’s another link to a sample test (takes 2 minutes):
http://vandalaysolutions.com/wpt/wpt.html

by what it do on Mar 11, 2010 10:39 AM CST reply actions

Wow. I just got a 40 while eating lunch. Looks like I’m moving to Tenn since I should be able to destroy VY in the spring training competition for QB.

by 06_UT on Mar 11, 2010 12:25 PM CST reply actions

35 while ignoring a conference call with some corporate types in Delaware.

by bateshorn on Mar 11, 2010 1:05 PM CST reply actions

I got a 50. Thanks Larry Sager!

by ursa major on Mar 11, 2010 1:49 PM CST reply actions

whorns,

please keep pushing the BS 15 or 16 or whatever score you say VY got at the combine after scoring a 6. it makes you look like the blind homers you really are.

thanks,

CiSC

by Cart Is Still Cart on Mar 11, 2010 2:54 PM CST reply actions

Yeah we should all take lessons on how to not be blind homers from a guy named “cart is still cart”. You sir, have life in perfect perspective.

by nordberg on Mar 11, 2010 3:36 PM CST reply actions

I can always count on norberg to respond because he doesn’ care about A&M AT ALL!

by Cart Is Still Cart on Mar 11, 2010 3:45 PM CST reply actions

“You sir, have life in perfect perspective.”

Indeed he does nordberg. He says it’s like a box of chocolates.

by magnusbleuveigner on Mar 11, 2010 3:55 PM CST reply actions

Larry Sager’s “Underenforcement of the Commerce Clause” really helped me sharpen up on my crossword puzzles.

by ghostofagroundgame on Mar 11, 2010 4:02 PM CST reply actions

C RT SS IL ART

redundant way to convey idiocy

GO GHOST!

by magnusbleuveigner on Mar 11, 2010 4:09 PM CST reply actions

It’s a sign that Tebow scored about as well as an average TE. Bradford’s score actually impresses me…good for him.

by CurrentLonghornStudent on Mar 11, 2010 4:35 PM CST reply actions

If avoids the complimentary blankets, he should be fine.

by Steve Bartman on Mar 12, 2010 9:35 AM CST reply actions

Did you know that just saying Tim Tebow’s name can cure cancer? It must be why everyone on the NFL Network is cancer-free, cause they sure as fuck talk about the little pecker enough.

by yojimbox on Mar 12, 2010 3:50 PM CST reply actions

AT LEAST TEBOW IS SMARTER THAN AN HB…HEHE

by I HAVE JOCK ITCH on Mar 12, 2010 3:57 PM CST reply actions

“I can always count on norberg to respond because he doesn’ care about A&M AT ALL!”

I don’t care about a&m, you’re right. I wish they’d collectively fall off the face of the planet. Not sure what that has to do with your inane bullshit above, but whatever.

by nordberg on Mar 12, 2010 4:40 PM CST reply actions

Cart is just sore because his favorite sheep was busy last night and Colt is about to make more money in the next 3 years then he’ll see in his lifetime.

Que, the “I’m a successful businessman who makes, yada, yada, yada. . .” response.

by Holy Cow on Mar 14, 2010 11:08 AM CDT reply actions