Beat the Barkers NCAA Tourney Bracket

by Vasherized on Mar 15, 2010 1:09 PM CDT in Texas Longhorns and Other Basketball

The winner gets a weekend with sizzlechest, all medical bills paid, in secluded Nova Scotia where screams go unanswered for miles. Runner-up gets the free BC tote bag that has yet to be claimed from last year's tourney. Third place gets to learn what it's like to wake up as HenryJames every day.

Click here to fill out your bracket.

password: damien

Because this season has been evil.

Regional previews and Kevin Berger's completed bracket will be posted in the coming days @marchtomarch. 100% accuracy guaranteed! Lunardi has been stealing his shit for years so use Kevin's roundball prescience against him by copying every single pick (except UTEP). Berger also has way better hair than the plastic helmet Lunardi forges during the 9 months off he has each year.

NIT-bound combover

If Texas has any shot of beating Wake Forest and busting brackets across the land with a win over Kentucky, it needs to channel the powers of one of its own -- Corch Kenton Paulino!

You've just been Pittsnoggled, now redirect all frustrations towards your wedding suit.

GAME ON.

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Comments

This is going to be the first bracket I’ve filled out in the last 10 years that didn’t have Texas going past the 2nd round.

by justhookit on Mar 15, 2010 2:16 PM CDT reply actions

I have Baylor in the final four. Someone shoot me.

by justhookit on Mar 15, 2010 2:18 PM CDT reply actions

God I want that fucking tote bag so bad.

by nordberg on Mar 15, 2010 2:24 PM CDT reply actions

Great video. Did Beilein have a similar look when Evan Turner pulled his heart our of his chest this weekend?

I’d really like a Tote Bag too. Maybe we’ll have a telethon / pledge drive.

by Sailor Ripley on Mar 15, 2010 2:29 PM CDT reply actions

I want that pittsnoggle hat

by Travis on Mar 15, 2010 2:55 PM CDT reply actions

I have A&M making it to the Final Four.

I’ve been sporting wood for two weeks straight now.

by Ag_in_TX on Mar 15, 2010 2:55 PM CDT reply actions

Is that Sarah Palin?

by Dubya on Mar 15, 2010 2:59 PM CDT reply actions

I usually fill out a “Texas Homer” bracket in which I put Texas going 1 or 2 rounds higher than I would put money on them going.

My “Texas Homer” bracket this year has them losing to Kentucky.

by 06_UT on Mar 15, 2010 3:00 PM CDT reply actions

The UT Homer bracket usually has us making it to the finals or winning the whole thing.

My UT Homer bracket is not to be confused with anything involving sizzlechest.

by 06_UT on Mar 15, 2010 3:02 PM CDT reply actions

Texas basketball has never been in better shape.

By that I mean there are 7 teams from the state of Texas in the tournament field.

by Art Vandelay on Mar 15, 2010 3:37 PM CDT reply actions

No one rocks a mockneck quite like Joe Lunardi.

by Scipio Tex on Mar 15, 2010 3:37 PM CDT reply actions

I think Joe is actually part turtle.

by Sailor Ripley on Mar 15, 2010 4:06 PM CDT reply actions

No one rocks a mockneck quite like Joe Lunardi.

With apologies to srr50.

by Vasherized on Mar 15, 2010 4:32 PM CDT reply actions

Bob Huggins can pull off the mock with a mustard suit.

hug

by Kevin Berger on Mar 15, 2010 4:33 PM CDT reply actions

Dude, Huggybear, the break is supposed to be mid-shin, not 6 inches below the heel.

by CrazyJoeDavola on Mar 15, 2010 4:42 PM CDT reply actions

36 entries so far. Sailor Ripley demands 200 by Thursday or he pulls the plug.

And nothing goes better with the mockleneck than adult braces and porcupine flattop.

by Vasherized on Mar 15, 2010 4:49 PM CDT reply actions

Lentz, you are going to lose.

by justhookit on Mar 15, 2010 5:14 PM CDT reply actions

Vegas round one lines of note:

Texas -4.5 vs. Wake Forest
Baylor -11.5 vs. Sam Houston State
A&M -2.5 vs. Utah State

aggy line seems low…

by starting to smell on Mar 15, 2010 5:30 PM CDT reply actions

I jumped on the aggies -2 at the open like it was a two for one table dance.

by Trips Right on Mar 15, 2010 5:33 PM CDT reply actions

two for one table dance on the company credit card of course.

by starting to smell on Mar 15, 2010 5:45 PM CDT reply actions

I’m not getting the aggie line either? Anyone know what’s up with that?

by justhookit on Mar 15, 2010 6:03 PM CDT reply actions

Utah St is decent, ags had one impressive win at 10 seed Mizzou this year. That being said, Ags will cover that.

You can win a 2011 Infiniti M if your bracket is the best one in the galaxy. My BC tote bag would look sharp in that car.

by dick on Mar 15, 2010 9:28 PM CDT reply actions

Did someone say table dance?

by sizzlechest on Mar 15, 2010 9:28 PM CDT reply actions

The car would look sharp around that bag.

Ag line has to be easy money, which means….

by magnusbleuveigner on Mar 16, 2010 7:28 AM CDT reply actions

Dick: The A&M aggies did better than just one impressive win (at Mizzou Ken Pom 21, 10 seed).

Vs. Clemson (Ken Pom 16, 6 seed)
Vs. Minnesota (KP 25, 11 seed)
Baylor (KP 12, 3 seed)
Texas (KP 17, 8 seed)
OSU (KP 44, 7 seed)

They also had close losses to KP 29, 11 seed @ Washington; KP 8, 2 seed WVU (73-66); and KP 47, 3 seed New Mexico (8481)

The Utah State aggies however beat… BYU? The only thing they did besides lose to St Mary was dominate their conference. And by dominate, I mean they lost 2 regular season conf games and didn’t win their tournament. They have really ugly losses to Utah (14-17), Northeastern (20-12 in CAA), Long Beach State (17-16), and twice to 12 seed new mexico state.

Am I missing something here? How did the line open at 2 points? Hell, how are they in the tournament?

by 06_UT on Mar 16, 2010 9:45 AM CDT reply actions

We’re in it to win it. Good luck everyone.

by cpwhite on Mar 16, 2010 10:24 AM CDT reply actions

I’d like a Lunardi Mock T with the BC logo on it. Then I’ll give it to Vasherized as a gift to remind him of the 15 months gone by since he lost the Super Bowl bet for lunch at the Yellow Rose.

by JungleHeat on Mar 16, 2010 10:35 AM CDT reply actions

Ouch. This is true.

by Vasherized on Mar 16, 2010 10:50 AM CDT reply actions

I will own that tote bag. And it will hold my porn.

by ghostofagroundgame on Mar 16, 2010 3:02 PM CDT reply actions

Win the weekend with sizzlechest, and let him hold your porn.

by magnusbleuveigner on Mar 16, 2010 4:03 PM CDT reply actions

I am angling for the weekend with SizzleChest. I am hoping to channel his evil in the right directions.

by CloseToJumping on Mar 16, 2010 6:27 PM CDT reply actions

CTJ, is “the right directions” a euphemism for some bodily orifice?

by ghostofagroundgame on Mar 17, 2010 9:45 AM CDT reply actions

Gents and HenryJames,

110 entries so far. This is still not enough to guarantee Trips Right does not win.

Therefore I am hiring a ~~Korean~~ Vietnamese spammer to help fill out our 400 person max allotment.

We just may find a Nguyener!

by Vasherized on Mar 17, 2010 10:19 AM CDT reply actions

Phuc, man, that’s Vietnamese.

by ghostofagroundgame on Mar 17, 2010 10:26 AM CDT reply actions

This is an equal opportunity bracket.

by Vasherized on Mar 17, 2010 12:37 PM CDT reply actions

How’s it going bitches?? Okay, it’s funnier when Mac says it on Sunny in Philadelphia.

If I win, can one of the Vietnamese spammers be made to tote the porn bag around for me?

by Seeing Red on Mar 18, 2010 8:36 AM CDT reply actions

It’s on like Donkey Kong. Admittedly, I filled out my bracket in under 90 seconds, less than half an hour before tip, without reading a single analysis……

by Bateshorn on Mar 18, 2010 10:27 AM CDT reply actions

Brackets are locked so let’s start the ridicule.

CTJ has Purdue going to the Final Four. I will streak naked down MoPac against opposing traffic if this actually happens.

HenryJames used his typically sound logic by betting the higher seed in every game. This is why he is a Yankees fan.

by Vasherized on Mar 18, 2010 11:33 AM CDT reply actions

Yeah, that Purdue pick was awesome. It seems like I heard something about them having injuries, but it slipped my mind when making picks. I’ve literally not seen them play for one second this season. Not a highlight, nothing. Good work.

1-2 to start things off, I think it’s clear I’m going to own this thing.

by CloseToJumping on Mar 18, 2010 3:11 PM CDT reply actions