Corch Urban Meyer and Sooner Magic

Nice. I too once lusted after Urban Meyer’s defenses and the consistent production, value, and entertainment of his spread-option offense. Then Mack added Muschamp and Florida became the new U, now I resume to harbor my childhood dreams of the program turning their stadium into an actual swampy field with alligator pits with disregard for their one time schematic and philosophical advantages over the rest of the country.

Sonny Crocket, WR, MVP of Gator Bowl after catching game winning pass.
 
Alligator – Elvis.
 
Do not mess with me on Miami Vice.

“Study hard, learn good, and don’t rob no liquor stores.”

who remembers what position Sonny played for the Gators, what his claim to gridiron fame was

Converting third downs in tan espadrilles.

Call me when UT and U$C starts self-reporting it’s shit.

What if they kill someone with their bare hands?

It’s not self-reporting when the story breaks and then ou announces an internal investigation.

Ah, the “everybody does it so its ok” argument. Hadn’t heard that one in a while – thanks ponderos. I’ll be sure to call.

I guess I don’t understand why the audit didn’t include football, when the two scandals noted involved football and basketball. Does football need more time to straighten its compliance out? It has only been 4 years…

“If a player tests positive for marijuana, then that player will be punished by missing games.”

Now if a player gouged someone’s eyes out, made a bong out of the skull & then tested positive for marijuana, is that a 1/2 game or multi-game suspension?

No “Go Gatahs!” reference?

Disappointing.

We don’t got no compliance problems, ponderos. Our fear is checking the po-lice blotter in the offseason. Sheeeeit.

Dig?

Congrats to Sailor Ripley for surpassing the aggregate word count of his last 50 posts with this sparkling new one. BC’s Twitter feed scored some fine Colombian last night.

So, while BC is worried about OU self-reporting Bobby Jack sexting some recruit’s mom, no word whatsoever about OU about to burn its basketball program to the ground and salt the earth?

Admittedly, TaW has zilch on the matter, as well.

Dammit Scipio that divot repair tool was mine!

And wait a second… Sonny Crockett was MVP of the Gator Bowl, for Florida, and went on to be a vice cop… in Florida? This would be like Colt McCoy working as a vice cop in Texas.
“Hey guys, my name is Colt McDonald… got any drugs I can buy?”.
“Whoa, it’s Colt McCoy. Hey man, loved your last drive in the Fiesta Bowl against OSU.”
“No, that was Colt McCoy. I’m Colt McDonald.”

OU is willing to sacrifice it’s basketball program in the hopes of avoiding the dreaded lack of institutional control. That’s the whole point of hiring outside groups to audit OU’s compliance procedures. Such things wouldn’t be necessary if you’re university would do something radical like not fucking cheating. Don’t act like OU is being noble in any of this.

i don’t know about usc, ponderos, but ut is not shit and has no reason to report that it is.

I love the concept that 19 year olds carrying guns are just “young adults do[ing] dumb things.” Because everyone gets a little crazy in college — you know, unprotected sex, vomit in the bed, smoke a joint or two (hundred), commit armed felony assaults.

I’m a man with a clear destination
I’m a man with a broad imagination
You fog the mind, you stir the soul
I can’t find, … no control

Chris Rea to Robbie Robertson. I look forward to your next one, Art.

ponderos – You are so predictable.

http://barkingcarnival.fantake.com/2010/04/08/corch-urban-meyer-and-sooner-magic/#comment-97232

nordberg – That made me laugh. Though that was hardly the most implausible thing from the mind of Mann.

At what point does the NCAA just stop testing athletes for pot? What a waste of time. It’s not performance-enhancing. It’s not dangerous or addictive. It’s only illegal because the booze industry lobbies to keep it illegal and because old white people think it will cause their daughters to have sex with minorities. Give it a rest America. Testing college students for pot is just as idiotic as testing college students for beer. Of course they’re smoking pot and drinking beer. They’re in college. That’s what college students do.

hodad – here here

here here

You’re stoned right now, aren’t you?

“It’s only illegal because the booze industry lobbies to keep it illegal and because old white people think it will cause their daughters to have sex with minorities.”

They’re just drawing on their own 60’s/70’s free love experiences. Can you blame them?

“Now honey, don’t go buying drugs and fucking three or four Black Panthers.”

“Mom!, ewwww, what the h is a Black Panther?”

Wait, we don’t get press passes?

“I guess I don’t understand why the audit didn’t include football, when the two scandals noted involved football and basketball. Does football need more time to straighten its compliance out? "

They just haven’t found the firm that will give the correct opinion yet.

And wait a second… Sonny Crockett was MVP of the Gator Bowl, for Florida, and went on to be a vice cop… in Florida? This would be like Colt McCoy working as a vice cop in Texas.
"Hey guys, my name is Colt McDonald… got any drugs I can buy?".
"Whoa, it’s Colt McCoy. Hey man, loved your last drive in the Fiesta Bowl against OSU."
"No, that was Colt McCoy. I’m Colt McDonald."
 
Yeah, I love that. I’m writing an essay right now comparing the improbability of the back stories of Johnny Utah, Thomas Magnum, Sonny Crockett etc – all college football stars, mind you – and I’ve already written about Sonny Crockett’s suitability for undercover work. Coming soon…

“This your wake up call, I’m an EFF.. BEE… EYE agent!”

So you’re saying that while Riley Cooper, former Gator wideout, might be a good TV character, Riley Copper, the undercover agent, probably wouldn’t have much of a shelf life in Little Havana?

On the one hand, we’re cheaters who have been dirty since the 50’s. On the other hand, we’re clearly no good at it, and it’s so simplistic that a knob who goes by “kevwun” has us figured out. Brilliant.

As far as burning down the basketball program, that’s like using a nuclear weapon to burn down an acre of slightly tall weeds and the scattered stumps of once-tall trees that have long since died and fallen over. What’s there to burn, really?

Utah! … Gimme two.

On the one hand, we’re cheaters who have been dirty since the 50’s. On the other hand, we’re clearly no good at it, and it’s so simplistic that a knob who goes by "kevwun" has us figured out.

Apparently, kevwun could run the NCAA because they are never going to do shit.

Again, the point I was trying to make here, which smoothly glided across and over the flat-topped cranium of ponderos was that big time collegiate sports are big time business. It isn’t going to change.

It’s the earnest media that cracks me up.

There is a story where a head coach admonishes his team and says don’t commit felonies or you might not be able to play in some football games. And another college with a somewhat checkered past gets high marks for hiring their own firm to do some looking around.

And this is reported sans irony. This is all high comedy.

Sorry I wasn’t a pedantic, OU-hating, BC toadie wrapped in the guise of an OU fan, Ripley. Didn’t want to duplicate efforts, though.

Just killing some in between class time on Digg and I found your article . Not normally what I favor to examine, but it surely was absolutely price my time. Thanks.