A Philadelphia Fan Problem Solves!

Sometimes you just gotta hammer somebody.

Probably the only team that should stop serving after the first half inning.

And they call that being a “real fan.” If we can just get the Raiders to play the Phillies.

So…..this has to make it into the next season of Always Sunny, right?

The question is: Geno’s or Pat’s

http://www.markshields.com/images/20020413-genos-versus-pats-cheesesteaks/markshields.com-genos-vs-pats-cheesesteaks-philadelphia-pa-3231.jpg

Its official – Barking Carnival filters only the news that matters, I will never visit another sports website again.

In talking with a lifelong resident and fan this morning (I live in Philly), apparently this sort of “700 level at the Vet” shenanigans would have been tolerated and thought to be “no big deal”

IF THERE WAS NOT A CHILD INVOLVED.

So, THIS INCIDENT is bad strictly because A CHILD WAS INVOLVED. Otherwise, it’s perfectly explainable behavior.

So they have that goin’ for them. Which is nice.

As Sizzlechest knows, people pay good money for this kind of thing in Patpong.

So how did the Tiger Woods of eating disorders get the fresh black eye in his mugshot? Philly’s Phinest?

I really don’t see why this is news. No urine or feces = no crime.

This stuff was like basic pre-game entertainment in the 700 level at the Vet.

I love the Philly-Austin connexion (BC satellite office in the not too distant future?) Right now I’m in Jenkintown reading the best blog on the web in the world’s hippest city. I just finished shopping at Korvettes and Wanamakers. The waiter at this fine dive tells me they regularly spit and strategically place snot in celebritiy patrons’ food. Nice. Now if you’ll excuse me I need to use my barf bag, eh.

I would suspect the Phillies ate alot of snot.

Thank goodness for grocery stores and supercentres.

i was unintentionally vomited on by a drunk sig ep at a horns game one time. i was pissed but i felt sorry for the guy, he was very apologetic and in extremely rough shape. had to borrow a friend’s undershirt and run down to the rec center bathroom and shower up.

Here’s an update from Philly.com on the gross incident of public hurling at a Phillies home gane thge other day….

“The upchuck that was heard around the world continues to fascinate people, in a horrified sort of way.

I’m talking, of course, about Matthew Clemmens, the Cherry Hill, N.J., man who allegedly forced himself to vomit on the 11-year-old daughter of Easton Police Capt. Mike Vangelo at Wednesday’s Phillies game.

The blogosphere has bequeathed him the apt name, “Pukemon.”

Today, my colleague Jason Nark caught up with one of Clemmens’ relatives, who defended the 21-year-old. I checked in with Vangelo, who stands by the disturbing chain of events that he and police say unfolded earlier this week. Oh, and the Phillies released a statement, expressing regret for the ordeal Vangelo and his two daughters endured. Here’s a brief glimpse of the story, which will appear in tomorrow’s Daily News:

To much of the civilized world, Matthew Clemmens was known yesterday as "Pukemon," a slovenly schlub from South Jersey who was accused of making himself vomit on a little girl. Word of Clemmens’ vile alleged misdeed at Wednesday night’s Phillies game at Citizens Bank Park spread faster than a spilled beer, causing the 21-year-old to be fast-tracked into the Philly fan Hall of Shame. On blogs, TV and radio shows and in newspaper articles, people couldn’t stop talking about Clemmens and another man who, police say, cursed, spilled beer and even spat on Easton Police Capt. Michael Vangelo and his two daughters during the game.

Voters on Philly.com deemed him the city’s all-time low in a landslide. But not everyone agreed. Clemmens’ uncle insisted that his nephew isn’t the brutish, pinpoint puke he’s being made out to be.
“The kid is one of the average kids who went to the game and had a few beers, and maybe a few beers before the game," said Dave Clemmens, 48, of Berlin, New JerseyN.J. "Matt’s a nice kid. Maybe a little overweight, but he has a good heart."

Vangelo, 45, was unmoved yesterday by Clemmens’ defense of his nephew. "Maybe he’s trying to minimize his involvement in the whole thing," he said, "but I know what I saw. It was intentional, without a doubt." Vangelo said he received several e-mails yesterday from other fans who said they witnessed the sick scene and offered to testify on the cop’s behalf. “It was nice to see that," said the longtime Phillies fan, who said he’s attended dozens of games over the years without incident. Vangelo said his daughter had bounced back from her encounter with the barfer — although the jacket she wore to the game that night was ruined.”

http://hphotos-sjc1.fbcdn.net/hs456.snc3/26103_1283048595287_1202265978_30658313_703042_n.jpg

No battery, no foul.

Geno’s. Pat’s is shit.

"Matt’s a nice kid. Maybe a little overweight, but he has a good heart."

This hurt my brain.

Sally is a good kid. I mean, she has all those freckles, but she’s nice deep down.

 Is he implying weight is inversely proportional to moral character? Judging by how evil scally is I’d say on the surface he’s on to something. Or is he commenting on his nephew’s risk for cardiovascular disease, that despite his weight he carries a low Framingham score? Or maybe he means he has an enlarged heart, and good was malaprop’ed.

BTW- I read Matt and Jeffy’s conversation with Fat Tony in Coach Z’s voice. Two thumbs up.

sizzle -
 
I’m honestly not sure how you do it up there.
 
Stretch -
 
Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain was an eye opener for me.

Ambergris Cay -
 
Thank you for that follow up. I like the attempt from the family at a “Matthew is a good kid” angle.
 
Doperbo -
 
Your weight is inversely proportional to your character. OR DO THEY NOT TEACH THE 7 SINS DIAGNOSIS MODEL AT MED SCHOOL ANYMORE?!!

Remember that time we found HenryJames passed out in his basement?

Aisle 13 at Giant Market sells frozen fish. Its tough being a Witch Doctor.

I have to say, I enjoy reading your blog. Maybe you could let me know how I can subscribing with it ? Also just thought I would tell you I found your website through Bing.

Update: going to the slammer

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=5423356