NFL First Round LiveBlog
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 4:16 PM CDT
in Texas Longhorns and Other Football
Email
PrintFeel the love, Jet style.
Repartee will commence 15 minutes before the draft.
Draft Foreplay:
Dilfer, Carter, Jaws all piling on the notion of Tebow as a first rounder.
Key just said it's a "wasted pick."
This was, of course, after the obligatory disclaimers that they'd be happy to let Tebow get to 2nd base with their daughters.
Things the former NFL players aren't considering? The irrationality of owners, the financial need to drive fan interest by taking the local legend (see Jacksonville), and the fact that GMs and coaches aren't exactly paragons of rationality themselves.
Dez Bryant now being interviewed. 580 SAT, maximum.
Dez already referring to himself in both the 3rd and 1st person. Keyshawn Johnson offers a character reference and says that Dez is an academic All-American. I would like the verification on that.
Mel Kiper has gotten really defensive now that Todd McShay is cutting into his I Pass Off NFL GM Opinion As My Own shtick. What Peter King has perfected, let no man put asunder.
Who is more grating: Chris Berman or Dick Vitale? Vitale is the easy choice, but Berman's false bonhomie is insidious.
An august panel aside from Berman:
Chris Mortensen, of the Matt Jones is better than Vince Young athletically and as a person Big Idea. He's only Matt being productive on a football field and not a cocaine dealer away from being right. The draft is about these sorts of tiny margins of difference.
Adam Schefter, whom I like. He's a credible gossip.
Steve Young, who will offer analysis of the "He's just a FOOTBALL PLAYER!" variety.
Mel Kiper has Eddie Munster's widow's peak.
Jon Gruden is entertaining. His refusal to critique anyone meaningfully makes him an industry guy though.
Tom Jackson is solid and inoffensive.
It's Suzy Kolber! Kiss her, Sam! Kiss her!
It's Erin Andrews! Touch her, Jimmy!
Colt is probably going to get fat Shelly Smith.
No, it's some blond cutie.
Colt has seen better in Waco.
The Draft has become a White Trash Hajj. Check out some of these crowd shots.
TE Rob Gronkowski is in attendance. NOW WE'RE DRAFTING!
***
THE DRAFT
1. St. Louis Rams - Sam Bradford.
The Rams need him to play immediately, they have minimal supporting cast aside from Steven Jackson, and he didn't distinguish himself under pressure in college. Sam is going into the fire. I wish him well.
2. Detroit Lions - Ndamukong Suh.
Suhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh goes to a urban wasteland after spending college in a rural wasteland. Easy adjustment. The House of Spears migrates to the financial House of Cards.
3. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - Gerald McCoy.
Gerald not only a millionaire, but the toughest person ever named Gerald in human history.
4. Washington Redskins - Trent Williams
Mike Shanahan is an excellent offensive coach who ruined his tenure in Denver with poor GMing. This pick mirrors that. The Sooners now have 3 of the top 4 picks. I know they had horrendous injuries last year, but what a fucking disgrace.
5. Kansas City Chiefs - Eric Berry.
Generally, I would mock a safety taken this high, but it's Eric Berry.
6. Seattle Seahawks - Russell Okung.
The Seahawks get the best OL in the draft at #6. Pete Carroll also pleased to operate in an environment in which signing bonuses are a matter of public record.
7. Cleveland Browns - Joe Haden.
A good cornerback. I trade down, still get my cornerback, and some picks to boot.
8. Oakland Raiders - Rolando McClain.
No one expected that. But it's the Raiders.
9. Buffalo Bills - CJ Spiller.
What player is better suited to frosty Buffalo than an undersized scatback who played all of his games in temperate swamps? Now they have three elite kick returners!
10. Jacksonville Jaguars - Tyson Alualu.
He's a good run stopper, a solid pass rusher, and thus an obvious choice as the tenth best player in the draft. Nicely played, Jags!
11. (trade) San Francisco - Anthony Davis.
Super-talented, but questionable commitment. I'm ambivalent. Not sure why you throw away your 4th rounder to grab him when he and Bulaga are still on the board.
12. (trade) San Diego - Ryan Matthews.
He's a good back with home run potential. Again, I'm not sure why you make a big move here to get him. He would have been around in the 20s. They gave away the whole draft.
13. (trade) Philadelphia - Brandon Graham.
He's a fantastic pass rusher, and the only bright spot on a horrendous Wolverine defense, but this is a reach. Teams are pissing away their 2nd and 3rd round picks as if they're valueless. A big mistake in a draft full of depth.
14. Seattle Seahawks - Earl Thomas.
The Seahawks just got a lot better. He's the best pure cover DB in the draft and has the instincts to punish a dumb throw. Congrats Earl. An All-Time Longhorn great.
15. New York Giants - Jason Pierre Paul.
He played in six college games. I guess you're welcome to project whatever you like on this blank canvas.
16. Tennessee Titans - Derrick Morgan.
Easy move for Tennessee. They need a DE and he's the best available.
17. San Francisco 49ers - Mike Iupati.
Well, Frank Gore is happy. He's a good player and a fine run blocker, but do you really want to take an interior OL here when you need a QB? A pass rusher?
18. Pittsburgh Steelers - Maurkice Pouncey.
Never has the QB-Center exchange been more sexually charged. Does Maurkice consent to Ben going under center?
19. Atlanta Falcons - Sean Weatherspoon.
He was a great player for Mizzou, but his senior year disappointed as he put on weight and lost his DL.
20. Houston Texans - Kareem Jackson.
Really? Is Charlie Casserly back?
21. Cincinnati Bengals - Jermaine Gresham
Good pick. He's a mutant. Sooners now have four first rounders. Wow. And I mean that on all possible levels of astonishment, being actually impressed, and sarcastic irony.
22. (trade) Denver - Demaryius Thomas.
Big guy, deep theat, fast, not very polished. Imagine if the light came on for Malcolm Williams.
23. Green Bay Packers - Bryan Bulaga.
Solid move and an obvious move. Is he a Right Tackle or Left Tackle? Put him against Jared Allen and find out.
24. Dallas - Dez Bryant.
A great pick if they can keep Dez away from people like Deion Sanders, who lives in....oh. Well. Is Roy Williams still the #1 WR!?!?!?!
25. Denver Broncos - Tim Tebow.
That's a fucking idiotic pick. The notion of Tim Tebow and Brady Quinn sharing mirror space amuses me.
26. Arizona Cardinals - Dan Williams.
Good stuff. The Cardinals just won their division if Leinart will play at a C+ level.
27. NE Patriots - Devin McCourty.
Rutgers had more first rounders than Texas? I know nothing of him and won't pretend that I do. Ran a 4.38 at the combine.
28. Miami Dolphins - Jared Odrick.
Solid pick. Parcells likes the big boys. Very deep interior DL draft.
29. NY Jets - Kyle Wilson.
Great pairing with Revis. They'll start him in the nickel and progress him over time. The Jets are loaded, and easily the most interesting team in the NFL.
30. Detroit - Jahvid Best.
A concussion prone scatback on turf. Should go well.
31. Indianapolis Colts - Jerry Hughes.
He fits the mold of what the Colts want on the edge. Solid pick.
32. New Orleans Saints - Patrick Robinson.
Who dat? No, seriously. I mean, who is he? I stopped watching Florida State in 2003.
And first round is over. A puzzling draft, all told.
Fantastic talent left in Rounds 2-3.
547 comments
|
0 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
Here’s hoping the Raiders take Bruce Campbell. Or CJ Spiller.
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 4:31 PM CDT reply actions
http://www.starssportsbar.com/
Here’s where I’ll be. Notice April 22nd.
by magnusbleuveigner on Apr 22, 2010 4:32 PM CDT reply actions
I like how Cal Naughton Jr. was displeased by the Ken O’Brien pick at the :30 mark
by sayow55 on Apr 22, 2010 4:32 PM CDT reply actions
Al Davis will take Bruce Cambell at 7, and then attempt to give him back when he learns that it’s not the same guy from the Evil Dead movies.
by nordberg on Apr 22, 2010 4:35 PM CDT reply actions
I like the open bidding idea. Introduce a little fantasy sports element into the mix. Inevitably, the dumb franchises would continue to get immeasurably worse though.
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 4:47 PM CDT reply actions
580 Lufkin = 1200 real world. Cowboys should be pleased.
by bizzle on Apr 22, 2010 4:54 PM CDT reply actions
When Keyshawn says All-American, what he really means is All Big 12 second team. I wouldn’t make any of them, but then again an army of women don’t fight to do my “homework”
Yes, he’s an idiot but this character concern stuff is getting over blown. He’s late a lot, and Eugine Parker hired an assistant to help him stay on time. Problem solved. He didn’t eat food with the Rams because he ate before he got on the plane from San Fransisco, so now he’s a diva.
Dez hasn’t helped himself but I feel like some of this is the product of lazy journalist stereotyping the top wide receiver in the draft as troubled.
by Ibas water bottle on Apr 22, 2010 5:01 PM CDT reply actions
Dez also has an IQ of about 65. Did we ever find out his Wonderlic score?
by nordberg on Apr 22, 2010 5:04 PM CDT reply actions
Dez is going to be a really good NFL receiver. Smarts don’t matter much for what he’ll be doing. If he drops too far because of this crap he’ll merely land in a better spot.
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 5:05 PM CDT reply actions
I agree that Dez’s “character” issues are overblown. What is not overblown is that he’s dumb, easily led, and easily manipulated. That’s dangerous too.
The NFL teams that drafts him has to create a structure such that they’ll be the ones primarily manipulating him.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 5:11 PM CDT reply actions
Dez actually was the first person to score a negative number on the Wonderlic when he accidentally set his test on fire.
by J Rog on Apr 22, 2010 5:18 PM CDT reply actions
That WSJ auction idea would be amazingly entertaining, but wouldn’t it take forever?
by Arthur Goddamn Fenstemaker on Apr 22, 2010 5:18 PM CDT reply actions
I never denied he’s an idiot or easily manipulated. I wrote that months ago. He needs a serious mentor and Deion isn’t it.
by Ibas water bottle on Apr 22, 2010 5:20 PM CDT reply actions
But hey, you know who’s going to be “teh suck” in this draft? Tebow.
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 5:21 PM CDT reply actions
Iba from @Pokelahoma was all over it here.
by Sailor Ripley on Apr 22, 2010 5:24 PM CDT reply actions
Steve Young and John Gruden love them some Tebus.
What a fascinating study in media this guy is.
by Sailor Ripley on Apr 22, 2010 5:35 PM CDT reply actions
I am shocked that Tim Tebow is a primary focus of this draft coverage.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 5:36 PM CDT reply actions
I heard Jaws on the radio earlier today say “When you’re around Tim Tebow, you just feel like you’re a better person”.
by nordberg on Apr 22, 2010 5:43 PM CDT reply actions
I need Tebow to go to Pittsburgh.
Ben will make him have sex with a semi-conscious girl during a QB meeting. “Initiation, Rook!”
I see a good Farva Super Troopers dynamic.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 5:50 PM CDT reply actions
Hat tip to Colt McCoy for having the coolest name of any Texas QB ever. He was also pretty damn good. Glad I got the chance to see him play a couple of times.
by Whiskey on Apr 22, 2010 5:58 PM CDT reply actions
Tebow is going to win the next four super bowls just to punish the writers and readers of Barking Carnival.
by Sailor Ripley on Apr 22, 2010 6:00 PM CDT reply actions
Or, Tebow to the Raiders. Partying with Raider nation. Skanking with Janikowski. Win all over.
The only thing more awesome than that would be Tebow to the Ravens. It’s like a sitcom. Ray Lewis adopts Tebow. Tebow in mandals out on the town with Ed Reed and Ray.
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 6:03 PM CDT reply actions
The Draft has become a White Trash Hajj. Check out some of these crowd shots.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 6:04 PM CDT reply actions
Should have bets on which teams will make the stupidest decision in the first round (obviously excluding the raiders).
by NY Horn on Apr 22, 2010 6:19 PM CDT reply actions
The Jaguars are a strong possiblity if they succumb to Tebowism.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 6:21 PM CDT reply actions
Roger Goodell is electric on the mic. Reminds me of Q Tip from Tribe Called Quest, IMO.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 6:23 PM CDT reply actions
I’ll take the Raiders. They will do something entertaining.
by Whiskey on Apr 22, 2010 6:26 PM CDT reply actions
If the Jags take Tebus tenth, A) they’ll sell out all their homegames in 2010 B) massive fan disillusionment and backlash at his utter failure will have that franchise playing in L.A. by 2014 C) by 2015 he’ll be doing infomercials with Chuck Norris selling the TeBowFlex
by sayow55 on Apr 22, 2010 6:27 PM CDT reply actions
I like Sam’s suit. Surprisingly tasteful for an Okie.
by NY Horn on Apr 22, 2010 6:28 PM CDT reply actions
Why in the world are people booing? That is just ridiculous. Stupid Jets fans.
by Sasha is a Longhorn Dog on Apr 22, 2010 6:29 PM CDT reply actions
If I’m the Rams, my first contract offer to Bradford is $24 worth of beads.
by HenryJames on Apr 22, 2010 6:29 PM CDT reply actions
The pressure to play him immediately is going to be immense. Not good for Sam.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 6:30 PM CDT reply actions
Suh killed a chef and stole his pants to make that shirt.
by sizzlechest on Apr 22, 2010 6:33 PM CDT reply actions
Sam is going to get his eyes knocked straight next year.
by bighornfan32 on Apr 22, 2010 6:33 PM CDT reply actions
The tie-breaker for me in the Suh-McCoy debate?
Gerald’s ability to dance.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 6:33 PM CDT reply actions
HJ returns.
Sam would have SJax to hand off too at least.
by dick on Apr 22, 2010 6:34 PM CDT reply actions
Chris Hall’s impact on the draft is being felt. He almost has his name mentioned!
by NY Horn on Apr 22, 2010 6:35 PM CDT reply actions
Watching those “highlights” of our O-line the Big 12 Championship, then knowing how they actually played in the Nat’l Championship… it just reiterates to me that had McCoy not gone out in Jan, we most likely win that game.
And have 3 Big XII players gone in a row? Pretty cool, even if 2 are from ou.
by Sasha is a Longhorn Dog on Apr 22, 2010 6:38 PM CDT reply actions
If Tim Tebow ever took center snaps from Chris Hall, it would summon Jesus-energy like Raiders of the Lost Ark. “Close your eyes!”
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 6:39 PM CDT reply actions
Sasha –
I was at the game, saw it live, have not watched it since, and do not wish to speak of it.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 6:40 PM CDT reply actions
Tebow plus Hall could defeat the animist House of Spears.
Nice Henry James cameo.
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 6:40 PM CDT reply actions
Suh is a stud.
It’s a shame that the economics are such that the first pick inevitably sucks.
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 6:42 PM CDT reply actions
Why is McCoy crying like a pussy?
If a Longhorn did it, it would be touching.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 6:42 PM CDT reply actions
Sat next to McCoy coming back from the Army All American game. Friendly dude. Good luck to him.
by Ibas water bottle on Apr 22, 2010 6:45 PM CDT reply actions
Explains why Bradford followed him up on stage.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 6:45 PM CDT reply actions
Note to self: If I’m on camera, emotional, and told I’ve been drafted, bring a Kleenex to prevent snot waterfalls destined for Youtube.
by Sniff on Apr 22, 2010 6:46 PM CDT reply actions
shanahan has two rings, Elway has two rings, Coincidence? I think not
by Ibas water bottle on Apr 22, 2010 6:48 PM CDT reply actions
Shanahan is a great offensive coach and a terrible GM.
See Broncos, Denver.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 6:50 PM CDT reply actions
Why does Mike Mayock keep calling Berry “Burry”? I find that very amusing.
by yojimbox on Apr 22, 2010 6:50 PM CDT reply actions
If you missed all of last year and the watched this you might think the 2009 Sooners were worth a shit.
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 6:50 PM CDT reply actions
I’m not sure if I’m down with watching each pick flex and juggle balls when they show their stats and measurables.
by NY Horn on Apr 22, 2010 6:51 PM CDT reply actions
The primary characteristics of a silverback?
Powerful, frighteningly athletic, quick for its size…
And incredibly gentle.
Good nickname. Also VERY RACIST.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 6:51 PM CDT reply actions
I may be stupid, but wasn’t Trent Williams part of an offensive line that was universally terrible the entire year?
by Puedlfor on Apr 22, 2010 6:51 PM CDT reply actions
If you’re going to take an offensive lineman, maybe you should take one who’s QB didn’t get destroyed. Twice.
by J Rog on Apr 22, 2010 6:52 PM CDT reply actions
Scipio — Hilarious. Why not call Suh “Heart of Darkness” while we’re at it?
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 6:53 PM CDT reply actions
Why are OU offensive linemen perennially overrated? Is it the same reason why ESPN has like 3x as many OU players on their “Big 12 watch list” as any other team?
by NY Horn on Apr 22, 2010 6:53 PM CDT reply actions
Scipio, not as racist as Russell O’Coon, that black Irish fella from Stillwater.
by sizzlechest on Apr 22, 2010 6:54 PM CDT reply actions
Should have traded down and grabbed Ulatowski.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 6:54 PM CDT reply actions
So on what day are they holding the draft for the rest of the BCS conferences?
by kevwun on Apr 22, 2010 6:55 PM CDT reply actions
Gruden believes that in modern football, safeties need to cover.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 6:56 PM CDT reply actions
4 picks, 3 of 4 are Sooners. Same number that Texas beat this class, 3 of 4 times. (4 of 5 for redshirts…)
by 75% on Apr 22, 2010 6:56 PM CDT reply actions
I don’t understand taking Williams over Okung. That will be a mistake.
by Bartoncreek on Apr 22, 2010 6:57 PM CDT reply actions
Three OU players in the first four picks? Who’d they beat for the NC again? Man that Stoops
can coach.
by Flamingmonkeyass on Apr 22, 2010 6:57 PM CDT reply actions
Dan Williams just enveloped Berry with that hug.
by sizzlechest on Apr 22, 2010 6:58 PM CDT reply actions
With the NFL pussification trend, give me the safety that can cover over the big hitter virtually every time.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 6:59 PM CDT reply actions
The NFL has denied Pete Carroll’s request to announce all Seahawks’ picks via twitter.
by kevwun on Apr 22, 2010 7:02 PM CDT reply actions
Berman has more self-tanner on than George Hamilton.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 7:02 PM CDT reply actions
Pete Carroll coaching in the NFL is like shitting your pants on a full Qantas flight in coach just after take-off from Sydney to Los Anguhlees.
by sizzlechest on Apr 22, 2010 7:02 PM CDT reply actions
Did Gruden just say Spiller is the most talented guy in this draft?
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 7:04 PM CDT reply actions
That’s impossible. There are no longer any direct flights from Sydney to Los Angeles after the tragedy of Oceania Flight 815.
by kevwun on Apr 22, 2010 7:04 PM CDT reply actions
Okung article on Yahoo. http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news;_ylt=AqaSj3sivUOBC4Xw9LmkQwRDubYF?slug=ea-okungdrive042210
by Ibas water bottle on Apr 22, 2010 7:05 PM CDT reply actions
Clausen looks like his mom was living under power lines when she was carrying him.
by NY Horn on Apr 22, 2010 7:07 PM CDT reply actions
That flight’s lack of a stop in Kosrae is indefensible.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 7:08 PM CDT reply actions
I think Gruden was saying he would blow Spiller if given the opportunity.
by J Rog on Apr 22, 2010 7:08 PM CDT reply actions
Mezzo, Trips. Greasy oatmeal. Like from the engine block of a terribly maintained Ford Fiesta.
by sizzlechest on Apr 22, 2010 7:09 PM CDT reply actions
Does ET go to Cleveland ladiez and gentlemanz?
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 7:09 PM CDT reply actions
Joe Haden faced amazing passing attacks in the SEC. Some of them even spiral-based.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 7:11 PM CDT reply actions
Worst two pics so far. Redskins and Browns.
Very Racist.
by sizzlechest on Apr 22, 2010 7:12 PM CDT reply actions
Look at you guys roughing up The Jimmy. The power lines bit made me laugh. Regardless I’m going to miss that kid.
by Whiskey on Apr 22, 2010 7:12 PM CDT reply actions
I REALLY hope that Derrick Morgan is sporting the same bow tie/Nation of Islam look in the Green Room as he is in the picture.
by Bernardo O'Higgins on Apr 22, 2010 7:13 PM CDT reply actions
Haden stole that suit from Glibert Gottfried.
by sizzlechest on Apr 22, 2010 7:13 PM CDT reply actions
If ET goes to philadelphia I’m going to kill Vasherized on general principle.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 7:13 PM CDT reply actions
Why is Joe Haden wearing Margaret Thatcher’s black pearl earrings?
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 7:13 PM CDT reply actions
The Jimmy doesn’t look down his receivers, he sneers them down.
by parlin on Apr 22, 2010 7:14 PM CDT reply actions
Based on the size of Haden’s ears, they might be 8 balls.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 7:16 PM CDT reply actions
The tension before the Raiders draft, is the same feeling as when you see an unleashed pit bull on the street.
What…is…it…going…to…do?
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 7:17 PM CDT reply actions
This is the most exciting part of the evening. Raiders.
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 7:17 PM CDT reply actions
Is someone checking on Dez to make sure he’s not eating glue or something?
by J Rog on Apr 22, 2010 7:18 PM CDT reply actions
Rolando McClain knows where all the white women at.
by HenryJames on Apr 22, 2010 7:19 PM CDT reply actions
Someone needs to find McClain a good Bay Area gastroenterologist or he’ll shit all over the locker room.
by sizzlechest on Apr 22, 2010 7:19 PM CDT reply actions
Pretty big reach there. If you’re going to reach, reach at a difference making position.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 7:20 PM CDT reply actions
Doesn’t McClain have bubonic plague or some shit?
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 7:20 PM CDT reply actions
Gruden’s pants erupt in a salty spray of Spiller affirmation.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 7:21 PM CDT reply actions
Spiller has to hate that. Sub zero temps slow a brutha down.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 7:22 PM CDT reply actions
sizzlechest’s favorite pick thus far. Bona fide scat back.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 7:23 PM CDT reply actions
Did Sergio Kindle really have narcolepsy as rumored this AM? Comedic possibilities abound.
by Bernardo O'Higgins on Apr 22, 2010 7:24 PM CDT reply actions
The Crohn’s almost forced Al Davis to go with his 2nd choice, a garden gnome.
by J Rog on Apr 22, 2010 7:24 PM CDT reply actions
Crohns is a discount eletronics store.
I think McClain has scurvy.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 7:24 PM CDT reply actions
Sergio has applied narcolepsy. He puts QBs to sleep.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 7:26 PM CDT reply actions
Chip Brown was spreading a rumor this morning that Kindle could drop to the second or third round due to knee problems. According to him, some GMs thought that it was so bad that he would need surgery before his rookie year.
by NY Horn on Apr 22, 2010 7:26 PM CDT reply actions
Sizzleches, your thoughts on the Cleveland Browns? City and mascot?
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 7:27 PM CDT reply actions
Alualu, isn’t that what Robin Williams said on Mork and Mindy?
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 7:29 PM CDT reply actions
Jags might as well draft Cal kids since they’re moving to LA.
by Uhaulauhaula on Apr 22, 2010 7:30 PM CDT reply actions
kiper looks more like a penguin every year, I swear one day that due is going to sprout flippers.
by NY Horn on Apr 22, 2010 7:30 PM CDT reply actions
If the 49ers take Clausen, they are dumber than the Jags.
by sizzlechest on Apr 22, 2010 7:31 PM CDT reply actions
The Broncos are using the Belicheck model of accumulating as many picks as possible.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 7:35 PM CDT reply actions
Solid work trading past a team that wasn’t going to take your guy.
by sayow55 on Apr 22, 2010 7:35 PM CDT reply actions
Why do you piss away your 4th rounder to move up nominally when Bulaga and Anthony Davis are still on the board?
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 7:36 PM CDT reply actions
McDaniels is hanging from a hook by his tighty whities in the war room screaming for Tim Tebow while the front office called in the move to trade down.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 7:38 PM CDT reply actions
Am I the only person who thinks that the Coors Light train flying out of the building is dangerous?
It’s a little irresponsible to just paint a train light on a dark building willy-nilly without some sort of crowd preparation.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 7:38 PM CDT reply actions
Shitty franchises (lately) are powered by stupid people?
by NY Horn on Apr 22, 2010 7:38 PM CDT reply actions
Matthews would have been perfect for Houston.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 7:41 PM CDT reply actions
Mike Mayock just called the Texans the Oilers. Awesome.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 7:41 PM CDT reply actions
Earl Thomas to the Eagles. Watch it. Love it. Slam a Jaeger shot and start a fight with an innocent bystander.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 7:42 PM CDT reply actions
sizzlechest is already on NFL.com trying to order a XXL Earl Thomas jersey.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 7:43 PM CDT reply actions
lol at Cowboys fans pissing their pants over this.
by NY Horn on Apr 22, 2010 7:44 PM CDT reply actions
First McCoy gets hurt and then Earl Thomas to Philly. Why have you forsaken me Lord?
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 7:44 PM CDT reply actions
Don’t forget Barnes fucking your couch, Trips.
by sizzlechest on Apr 22, 2010 7:45 PM CDT reply actions
Goddamnit. Another Wolverine bust in the making.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 7:46 PM CDT reply actions
I hope Bobby Taylor is at whorehouse in Humble acquiring clap as we speak.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 7:46 PM CDT reply actions
Yes, God has redeemed me. The Eagles are f’n stupid.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 7:47 PM CDT reply actions
“Tightly wound with short arms.”
Sounds like every Eagles fan.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 7:47 PM CDT reply actions
Stupid move. Earl Thomas will be pro-bowling it up in no time.
by NY Horn on Apr 22, 2010 7:47 PM CDT reply actions
I just shit my favorite seersucker suit. Goddamn you Andy Reid.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 7:48 PM CDT reply actions
“Necessity” is not in the Eagles’ dictionary.
In fact, they have no dictionary.
by parlin on Apr 22, 2010 7:49 PM CDT reply actions
Teams are pissing away 2nd and 3rd rounders as if they’re valueless. In this year’s draft, that’s a mistake.
This is one of the deepest drafts in NFL history and GMs are making moves like high school girls with a crush.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 7:50 PM CDT reply actions
Andy Reid’s heroin addict son called in that pick from rehab.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 7:51 PM CDT reply actions
The Jason Pierre Paul fixation is absurd. The guy has played six college games.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 7:53 PM CDT reply actions
There have been some awful picks in this draft. And awful moves to make them.
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 7:53 PM CDT reply actions
Sizzle, thanks for the Barnes reminder. I had horns hoops compartmentalized next to the donkey show in my mind. Now I’m seeing our random screen offense interspersed with visions of an impish whore smoking “El Burro!”
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 7:53 PM CDT reply actions
Maybe Earl can pound the QB’s sister in law up there in ess-e-ay-double tee-eye-ee.
by Nero on Apr 22, 2010 7:56 PM CDT reply actions
That guy played like a hurricane stole his mama’s house!
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 7:56 PM CDT reply actions
“Redshirted as a freshman.
/facepalm."
Erick Jackson NEEDED TO PLAY.
by nordberg on Apr 22, 2010 8:00 PM CDT reply actions
If Berman says New York Football Giants again, I’m going apeshit.
The context is clear, Chris. It’s the NFL draft.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 8:02 PM CDT reply actions
Trips is going to name his next kid Tony Romo-Berger regardless of gender.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 8:03 PM CDT reply actions
Chris has a date with George Will after the show.
by parlin on Apr 22, 2010 8:03 PM CDT reply actions
Was he even the best dlineman on his team? I’m pretty sure the other DE at South Florida was more productive.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 8:04 PM CDT reply actions
Scipio, the Giants drafted him to engineer a complex trade with the CFL in the third round.
Pierre was the clue.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 8:04 PM CDT reply actions
“It’s like the west coast Cincinnati.”
Being unofficially from the Cincinnati area yet currently calling Seattle “home,” I am deeply offended by that statement.
by LonghornSS on Apr 22, 2010 8:06 PM CDT reply actions
They thought they were taking the MMA fighter, who is huge in North Jersey.
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 8:06 PM CDT reply actions
The Big 12 is meat and potatoes! says Berman.
The WAC is like goulash.
And the Pac 10 is a very finely cut sashimi!
These are my geo-culinary stereotypes and I will not be swayed!
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 8:07 PM CDT reply actions
Is Derrick Morgan the dude with a Merton Hanks styled neck?
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 8:08 PM CDT reply actions
Poor Earl, wanted him to end up somewhere that didn’t suck.
by LonghornSS on Apr 22, 2010 8:08 PM CDT reply actions
I purchased Sizzlechest a charm from Jane Seymour’s Open Heart collection.
WILL HE ACCEPT?!?!
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 8:08 PM CDT reply actions
Let’s see how bad the Niners can screw up two first round picks.
Maybe they could call the Eagles for counsel?
by parlin on Apr 22, 2010 8:11 PM CDT reply actions
If the 49ers will take Dez and pair him with Crabtree and Davis, I would be most amused.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 8:14 PM CDT reply actions
Boys need to get ahead of the Packers and take Bulaga, imo
by sayow55 on Apr 22, 2010 8:15 PM CDT reply actions
I purchased Sizzlechest a charm from Jane Seymour’s Open Heart collection.
WILL HE ACCEPT?!?
Does it vibrate?
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 8:15 PM CDT reply actions
Really? A guard? Are the niners that close to being a good team? Wow.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 8:16 PM CDT reply actions
I-u-potty? is that like 2 lineman, one cup?
by R. Bush's girlfriend on Apr 22, 2010 8:17 PM CDT reply actions
Trips, I’m with you.
Never doubt Mike Singletary’s commitment to Alex Smith!
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 8:17 PM CDT reply actions
Morgan was a solid pick at a need position for the Titans.
by dick on Apr 22, 2010 8:17 PM CDT reply actions
YOu can get a comparable guard in the third round. Just asinine.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 8:17 PM CDT reply actions
Iupati is what you say to your young child. Sweatpea? Iupati?
by Art Vandelay on Apr 22, 2010 8:18 PM CDT reply actions
Ben Roethlisberger raped Zachary Hatfield. I just sense it.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 8:18 PM CDT reply actions
Steelers should have traded their pick for a truckload of saltpeter.
by sayow55 on Apr 22, 2010 8:19 PM CDT reply actions
Please tell me somebody else saw that man on man kiss by pouncey
by Nero on Apr 22, 2010 8:19 PM CDT reply actions
Good to see the Steelers go for a clean-cut no risk guy after this Ben problem.
by Tattoo poisoning on Apr 22, 2010 8:19 PM CDT reply actions
I wish we had black linemen. Or Somoans at least.
by NY Horn on Apr 22, 2010 8:19 PM CDT reply actions
Pretty cool make a wish. Another shitty pick, though. The kid should have pulled the trigger on Dez Bryant.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 8:19 PM CDT reply actions
Little known fact: Jane Seymour gives handjobs with her feet. They’re called….wait for it….FOOTJOBS.
by sizzlechest on Apr 22, 2010 8:20 PM CDT reply actions
Trips, I actually like the Iupati pick. He’s got multiple pro bowls in him. Jimmy Clausen is no upgrade over Alex Smith. I actually think A Smith can be a good caretaker QB which is what they’ll need with a very good defense, a good running game (Gore with what is now a good OL) and good targets in Vernon Davis and Crabtree.
by dick on Apr 22, 2010 8:21 PM CDT reply actions
sizzle, I think Marcelus Wallace throws niggas out of windows for that shit.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 8:21 PM CDT reply actions
Dez must have shit the bed at major league level in his interviews
by Ibas water bottle on Apr 22, 2010 8:22 PM CDT reply actions
A good looking black millionaire in Atlanta – Sean Weatherspoon just won the fucking lottery.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 8:22 PM CDT reply actions
Was Chip Brown (very racist) correct about Kindle?
by sizzlechest on Apr 22, 2010 8:22 PM CDT reply actions
Ha, Scipio loves the Weatherspoon pick, i’m sure.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 8:22 PM CDT reply actions
Kindle will be a better pro than Weatherspoon. Belichick is smiling.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 8:22 PM CDT reply actions
All of these dance montages are like the opening credits of The Cosby Show.
Jimmy Clausen is Raven Symone.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 8:23 PM CDT reply actions
dick, perhaps, but guards are dime a dozen in the league. You can get comparable talent on the second day. Plus he plays for the Idaho Vandals. Are we sure he’s going to be able pass protect against average NFL DT’s?
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 8:25 PM CDT reply actions
I really want to know how Dez became an Academic All-American. He would probably get smarter if he ate some lead based paint chips.
by NY Horn on Apr 22, 2010 8:25 PM CDT reply actions
The Kindle rumors must have been true.
Kyle Wilson to the Texans and I like it.
by dick on Apr 22, 2010 8:25 PM CDT reply actions
Maybe they thought they were drafting “Terrible” Tim Weatherspoon – Don King’s greatest mark.
by Bernardo O'Higgins on Apr 22, 2010 8:25 PM CDT reply actions
Dez Bryant is going to go Randy Moss on the league. These fuckers overthink the first round a lot of the time.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 8:26 PM CDT reply actions
Embarrassing moment backstage when the press caught Goodell tying Dez Bryant’s shoes for him
by J Rog on Apr 22, 2010 8:27 PM CDT reply actions
J Rog, I call bullshit, Bryant wears velcro-strap shoes with kangaroo pouches.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 8:28 PM CDT reply actions
and the Texans make a Texans like pick. Fucking Kareem Jackson
by dick on Apr 22, 2010 8:28 PM CDT reply actions
Dez has plenty of ability, but I don’t remember him ever doing a damn thing against us. Seemed like he would shrink in pressure situations against good Ds. He has the tools though, so who knows.
by NY Horn on Apr 22, 2010 8:28 PM CDT reply actions
“You’re confusing me with someone else. Look Texans, my name is Roger Murdock.”
by Otto Pilot on Apr 22, 2010 8:29 PM CDT reply actions
As one of six Falcons fans, I’m not terribly excited about Sean Weatherspoon.
by mookiepatookis on Apr 22, 2010 8:29 PM CDT reply actions
Is this as bad as when the Texans took the long snapper in the 4th round?
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 8:29 PM CDT reply actions
I guess they really wanted a replacement for Dunta Robinson. The Texans apparently have a strong ability to block out popular opinion.
by Nero on Apr 22, 2010 8:29 PM CDT reply actions
Jimmy Clausen must have texted a picture of his junk to an ESPN intern.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 8:30 PM CDT reply actions
Lol, what a collection of douchebags at camp Tebow.
by NY Horn on Apr 22, 2010 8:30 PM CDT reply actions
Lot of boy band looking dudes at Teeeebow’s house.
by Whiskey on Apr 22, 2010 8:30 PM CDT reply actions
5’11" corner, 4.4 speed, started at a big-time program for three years.
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 8:30 PM CDT reply actions
Bengals just stole the best TE in the draft at an absolute need position for them.
by sizzlechest on Apr 22, 2010 8:31 PM CDT reply actions
Can’t believe that dude is 261, check out his HS pictures.
I guess that crazy fuck of an S&C guy they have is pretty good.
by NY Horn on Apr 22, 2010 8:32 PM CDT reply actions
Not everybody comes out of high school Full Grown Man like Lebron or Adrian Peterson.
by Nero on Apr 22, 2010 8:36 PM CDT reply actions
Josh McDaniel’s going to run the triple option with Kyle Orton.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 8:37 PM CDT reply actions
I’ve never seen someone’s stupidity hold him back in the draft like this. It’s not like Dez has a criminal history, he’s just a moron.
by NY Horn on Apr 22, 2010 8:37 PM CDT reply actions
Last time I saw a hat like that, I was peeing.
by sizzlechest on Apr 22, 2010 8:37 PM CDT reply actions
Tebow is amphibious, as is shown by his Tevas.
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 8:37 PM CDT reply actions
I will pay for sizzlechest’s next footjob if the Cowboys land dez bryant.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 8:37 PM CDT reply actions
Demaryius is Malcolm Williams with the light turned on.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 8:38 PM CDT reply actions
Lance Zerlien tweet: “WR pick there makes sense. They think Dez is too stupid to play in their system according to text I received.”
by HelmetBoy on Apr 22, 2010 8:39 PM CDT reply actions
Trips, I can’t blame your train of thought on Gresham. I thought the same that about Orakpo after seeing his high school pics.
by NateHeupel on Apr 22, 2010 8:39 PM CDT reply actions
Rick Gosselin (Dallas Morning News) had Earl dropping to #22. The “Goose” also said Frank Okam wouldn’t get drafted a few years ago. I emailed him and asked him if he really thought that. He said he doesn’t have opinions, he only reports what he hears from talking to GM’s. He is the definition of an empty suit….
by Art Vandelay on Apr 22, 2010 8:39 PM CDT reply actions
The Cowboys need to trade up and grab that dumb mo fucka.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 8:39 PM CDT reply actions
Holy shit Dez has the same couches as the tv room at the pike house. Thank you gallery furniture.
by Nero on Apr 22, 2010 8:39 PM CDT reply actions
No one can fathom the complexity of Kyle Orton’s progressions.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 8:40 PM CDT reply actions
If Williams, Bulaga, Wilson and Bryant go in the next four picks I will light myself on fire.
by sayow55 on Apr 22, 2010 8:41 PM CDT reply actions
Dez is a steal at this point. If the Ravens can add him as a target for Flacco? That’s pretty solid.
GB get Bulaga?
by dick on Apr 22, 2010 8:41 PM CDT reply actions
Nate, blame my train of thought on Jerry Schmidt and your school’s checkered past.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 8:41 PM CDT reply actions
“He looks like a Packer”
Translation: Large cracker.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 8:42 PM CDT reply actions
What’s with the feathered crest on the head of Bulaga’s dad? Was that a territorial/threat display?
by sayow55 on Apr 22, 2010 8:42 PM CDT reply actions
Everyone after the Texans pick is getting great value.
Some mocks had Bulaga going to KC and GB picks him up without having to give up any other picks and it was their #1 need.
by dick on Apr 22, 2010 8:43 PM CDT reply actions
How does a guard get drafted ahead of Bulaga?
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 8:43 PM CDT reply actions
I’d love to see Dez in Dallas. It would add some more drama for that franchise.
by NY Horn on Apr 22, 2010 8:43 PM CDT reply actions
Box beer? If it wasn’t Coors light, I’d buy the hell out of it.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 8:45 PM CDT reply actions
Trips, I have blame my train of thought on common sense when looking at your S&C guy. That’s like thinking Kirstie Alley can give you tips on how to lose weight and keep it off.
Scip,
Very well put.
by NateHeupel on Apr 22, 2010 8:45 PM CDT reply actions
That new Coors Light draft box is giving me party ball flashbacks.
by Whiskey on Apr 22, 2010 8:45 PM CDT reply actions
Tebow could be the gayest person on Earth and not admit it, due to that silly biblical stuff.
by nordberg on Apr 22, 2010 8:46 PM CDT reply actions
Dez to the Ravens and Taylor Swift to the Boys?
by Art Vandelay on Apr 22, 2010 8:47 PM CDT reply actions
The blonde on the couch in those Coors ads is my girlfriend. We fuck a lot. She likes it.
by nordberg on Apr 22, 2010 8:47 PM CDT reply actions
Did they rent that house for the draft party?
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 8:49 PM CDT reply actions
Yep, Dez Bryant is going to fuck this league up.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 8:49 PM CDT reply actions
Dez to Dallas.
That’s a great way to get him away from Deion.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 8:50 PM CDT reply actions
And with the 24th pick the Dallas Cowboys take Pants on the Ground.
by Whaddamoron on Apr 22, 2010 8:50 PM CDT reply actions
That big candle is actually solidified cocaine.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 8:50 PM CDT reply actions
Roy Williams still thinks he’s the #1 receiver!
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 8:51 PM CDT reply actions
Is deion that bad an influence for a professional athlete?
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 8:52 PM CDT reply actions
And the kid in his arms is actually Dez’s uncle.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 8:52 PM CDT reply actions
Awesome. Thank God the cowyboys didn’t pick someone I actually liked. Makes it much easier to continue hating that Arkansas @#$hole’s team.
Luv Ya Blue!
by bob on Apr 22, 2010 8:52 PM CDT reply actions
shit, that’s a great pick for the Boys. What did they have to give up to move up?
by dick on Apr 22, 2010 8:52 PM CDT reply actions
//average BBS poster//: Roy Williams is 6-3. Maybe he could play TE!?!?!
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 8:52 PM CDT reply actions
Dez Bryant lived 3 houses down from me in Lufkin for three years. He was always a nice kid (several years younger than me) and didn’t really seem all that stupid. I wish him good luck on the Cowboys.
by Mark on Apr 22, 2010 8:53 PM CDT reply actions
So many players appear to be dating A&M equestrian team members.
by alma on Apr 22, 2010 8:54 PM CDT reply actions
Dick…they Cowboys gave up two #1 picks and a #3.
by HelmetBoy on Apr 22, 2010 8:54 PM CDT reply actions
Over under on religious Affliction Shirt knockoffs in the Tebow household.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 8:55 PM CDT reply actions
Are they playing Lee Greenwood at Tebow’s house?
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 8:55 PM CDT reply actions
Dez either plays 12 games in his entire career or becomes an instant pro bowler. THERE IS NO IN BETWEEN!
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 8:55 PM CDT reply actions
How many million reasons to live will Dez be getting?
by Sue side hotline on Apr 22, 2010 8:55 PM CDT reply actions
I guess McDaniels escaped from that wedgie. Fuck. Biggest idiot in the NFL.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 8:57 PM CDT reply actions
Are you kidding me? The Broncos take Tebow over Dez?
by Newy25 on Apr 22, 2010 8:57 PM CDT reply actions
Just a terrible pick. Amazing.
Makes the Texans look like geniuses
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 8:57 PM CDT reply actions
I don’t know what the fuss is about. The Broncos clearly needed a fullback.
by bob on Apr 22, 2010 8:57 PM CDT reply actions
He’s always had that . . . Denver vibe, you know?
by parlin on Apr 22, 2010 8:58 PM CDT reply actions
LA Celebrities Think We’re Important During the Playoffs 22
OKC Fighting Bennetts 16
Durant is 0 for the floor, but has grabbed 7 boards already.
by NateHeupel on Apr 22, 2010 8:58 PM CDT reply actions
That was heinous. Those boy band looking dudes at his house are suspect as all hell too.
by Whiskey on Apr 22, 2010 8:58 PM CDT reply actions
I used to go “twinsies” in elementary school – nice tag team aqua shirts. So much going on in that household. They have a box of Denver hats. That means Denver did not just have a collective heat stroke before making that pick. Premeditated. All I can say is they like to run, maybe he can play fullback.
by Nero on Apr 22, 2010 8:58 PM CDT reply actions
Horrible pick by Denver. Taking an H back with the 25th pick is just dumb.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 8:58 PM CDT reply actions
I’d pay a lot of money for Denver to take someone else right now.
by nordberg on Apr 22, 2010 8:58 PM CDT reply actions
Pat Bowlen must have got caught fucking Goodell’s wife.
by sizzlechest on Apr 22, 2010 8:59 PM CDT reply actions
Thank Jesus I’m not a Denver fan. I mean Tebow. Wait, fuck.
by HelmetBoy on Apr 22, 2010 9:00 PM CDT reply actions
Hate The Jimmy all you like, but if you can’t see that Emu-Boy throws a better ball than Tebow, I’m a Hottentot.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 9:00 PM CDT reply actions
I just moved to Ft Collins 4 weeks ago. Now I get to hear about Tebow 365 days a year now.
Just fucking shoot me now.
by Newy25 on Apr 22, 2010 9:00 PM CDT reply actions
If he winds up now, he’ll complete his first pass in September.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 9:00 PM CDT reply actions
Can it be long before the Woody Paige / Tim Tebow motel room scandal breaks?
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 9:02 PM CDT reply actions
Well, we’ll never hear from him again once the season starts.
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 9:02 PM CDT reply actions
Sound strategic thinking on Denver’s part. Tebow will get 15% more elevation on his jump passes.
by fitzhume on Apr 22, 2010 9:02 PM CDT reply actions
Tim Tebow and Brady Quinn are going to be WORKOUT BROS!
Spot me, Brady! I’m gonna throw this shit out.
You got it bro! Feel the burn!
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 9:03 PM CDT reply actions
I’ll be watching to see him fail, like the an inverse version of my fandom for Vince.
by NY Horn on Apr 22, 2010 9:03 PM CDT reply actions
Just 24 words short of the Gettysburg Address, but so much more moving.
by Nero on Apr 22, 2010 9:03 PM CDT reply actions
Oh man. Brady Quinn and Tebow training together. Wow. It’s going to be HandJob City.
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 9:04 PM CDT reply actions
Let me give you guys a 4 page analysis on Tebow’s strengths, weaknesses, and projections.
Look, hate him all you want, but Denver wasn’t the only team that was going to pull the trigger on Tebow shortly. Tebow has a ton of what you want with just a few major weaknesses. When you work as hard as he does, he can fix those weaknesses.
by Balltastic Motivization on Apr 22, 2010 9:05 PM CDT reply actions
Meanwhile, the 1st round has concluded while they’ve been talking about Tebow. No one notices.
by nordberg on Apr 22, 2010 9:05 PM CDT reply actions
give the glory to god, timmeh. wait .. wait … AND THERE IT IS.
This reminds me of an American Idol interview.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 9:06 PM CDT reply actions
Gruden just made a Bernie Kosar – Tim Tebow comparison.
Similar to the parallels found between Joe Leiberman and Lady GaGa.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 9:06 PM CDT reply actions
Chucky is going to strangle Steve Young. I wish I was there to help.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 9:06 PM CDT reply actions
The problem is one of those major weaknesses is throwing a football.
by Puedlfor on Apr 22, 2010 9:07 PM CDT reply actions
They’re talking about Tebow’s package. Surely one of them will be smote.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 9:07 PM CDT reply actions
Dan Williams is who the Texans should have taken
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 9:07 PM CDT reply actions
Good pick for the Cards. He also worships Satan.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 9:08 PM CDT reply actions
I saw Dan Williams play live. Liked him.
The Cardinals should run away with that division.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 9:08 PM CDT reply actions
We repaid our government loan! And are still making shitty cars! And will continue to seek governmental intervention rather than address our core issues!
The new GM!
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 9:10 PM CDT reply actions
I still can’t believe the Boyz got Dez. Damn. But iz he Romo friendly?
by Art Vandelay on Apr 22, 2010 9:10 PM CDT reply actions
Tebow’s college senior throwing motion is an indictment against Urban Myer’s bad coaching and not Tebow’s future potential. No way Tebow doesn’t fix every little exact thing his pro coaches tell him. Give him time and watch out.
by Balltastic Motivization on Apr 22, 2010 9:11 PM CDT reply actions
I can respect that. And look, our cars are pieces of shit but the Japs will straight fucking kill you!
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 9:11 PM CDT reply actions
The way this draft has played out is exactly why you place value on those 2nd and 3rd round picks. Some silly GMs out there.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 9:13 PM CDT reply actions
Tim Tebow is functionally retarded and can’t throw. Other than that, yeah, he’ll be a fine 3rd string tight end.
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 9:13 PM CDT reply actions
Baltastic, you meant the phrase “pull the trigger on Tebow” metaphorically, then?
by parlin on Apr 22, 2010 9:14 PM CDT reply actions
Senior throwing motion?
Ha ha ha ha!
Because his junior throwing motion was Troy Aikman.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 9:14 PM CDT reply actions
Will Tebow wear a neck pad like Chuck Muncie?
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 9:14 PM CDT reply actions
MCourty is the best college player in New Jersey.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 9:16 PM CDT reply actions
Rutgers has two first rounders. They are Oklahoma Northeast.
With the matching record.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 9:16 PM CDT reply actions
Sam Elliott’s voice is a smooth as a filtered Ultra Marlboro Light.
by sizzlechest on Apr 22, 2010 9:18 PM CDT reply actions
Toadvine, Manchuria agrees with you. Don’t fuck with a jap’s carnation.
by Nero on Apr 22, 2010 9:18 PM CDT reply actions
MCourty is the best college player in New Jersey.
And if you had ever left the state of Texas, you’d know that the tri-state area is a fucking hotbed! Most densely populated state. Emphasis on dense.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 9:18 PM CDT reply actions
There’s a lot of good players left. Golden Taint. Kyle Wilson. Kindle. Colt. Claussen. Hughes.
Weird first round.
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 9:18 PM CDT reply actions
Before this draft is over, Trips will deny Tim Tebow three times.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 9:18 PM CDT reply actions
Why is Jane Curtin sitting next to Odrick and when did she get Tourette’s?
by sizzlechest on Apr 22, 2010 9:19 PM CDT reply actions
Hate on Tebow if you want, but I beat it’s based on his preaching and praying more than his talent.
My point is that if Urban wasn’t a selfish, overstressed @#% he would have actually coached Tebow on some basics that any kid coming out of high school probably needs. Especially his senior year when he had the rest of the offense down. No excuse for not helping your best player like that.
Tebow throws an accurate ball(not like Colt or Sam of course), is durable like a tank, is a leader, can run (not like Vince of course), is a crazy hard worker, and is probably as strong as most of our Oline the last couple years. You can’t deny the talent, even if you would have taken Colt earlier.
by Balltastic Motivization on Apr 22, 2010 9:20 PM CDT reply actions
I have a video of Tebow’s interview if anybody wants to see it again:
by Bernardo O'Higgins on Apr 22, 2010 9:20 PM CDT reply actions
This first round on Thursday shit is gayer than Tebow. I WANT MY ROUNDS 2-3.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 9:20 PM CDT reply actions
Jesus. WTF? No Sergio again.
This knee shit must be circulating.
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 9:20 PM CDT reply actions
Scip, I’m already going to hell for what I said about Joey Crawford.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 9:20 PM CDT reply actions
bernardo, I’d rather watch sizzlechest in a bukkake film with midgets.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 9:22 PM CDT reply actions
When Tebow leaves the NFL after three years to do a faith-based reality show, I will think of you Balltastic.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 9:22 PM CDT reply actions
Lol, some dude on OB just called Dez “TO with hands.” I love Cowboys fans.
by NY Horn on Apr 22, 2010 9:22 PM CDT reply actions
Colt to Minnesota would make a ton of sense.
by Balltastic Motivization on Apr 22, 2010 9:22 PM CDT reply actions
The overlap between Jersey Shore cast member and Jets Fan is substantial.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 9:23 PM CDT reply actions
Tebow is not going to ever start an NFL game at QB, is the thing.
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 9:24 PM CDT reply actions
I’m telling you, Clausen did some manscaping and sent the photo to Erin Andrews.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 9:24 PM CDT reply actions
I will say this about every team with the next pick.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 9:24 PM CDT reply actions
Before this draft is over, Trips will deny Tim Tebow three times.
Don’t you mean “Before HenryJames crows…?”
by BrickHorn on Apr 22, 2010 9:24 PM CDT reply actions
Kindle would be the final staple in the stout stomach of Rex Ryan’s defense.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 9:25 PM CDT reply actions
Jet’s fans are poor man’s versions of Giant’s fans.
by NY Horn on Apr 22, 2010 9:26 PM CDT reply actions
Toad, if a weak OT named Jamarcus Russell can start and play that bad and still be considered by anybody, Tebow will play.
by Balltastic Motivization on Apr 22, 2010 9:27 PM CDT reply actions
Wilson’s watching party is in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory.
Or bangbus.com. Not sure which.
by Nero on Apr 22, 2010 9:28 PM CDT reply actions
Kyle Wilson’s Draft Party is being held on the office building floor where John Cusack worked in Being John Malkovich.
by sizzlechest on Apr 22, 2010 9:29 PM CDT reply actions
I like Kyle Wilson. Pairing him with Revis is not fair.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 9:29 PM CDT reply actions
Kyle Wilson to Jets. Good pick for them.
Kindle might be falling to late 2nd or 3rd round so sit back. Colts should take him though. They could end up with Kindle and Lamaar.
by dick on Apr 22, 2010 9:29 PM CDT reply actions
Come on let’s squeeze a second longhorn into the first round. Half these kids that have been drafted seem like they suck.
by NY Horn on Apr 22, 2010 9:30 PM CDT reply actions
“Colt is still on the board!!!”
Um yeah, I don’t think anyone thought he’d go in the top 30 picks.
Charlie Tanner is still on the board too.
by nordberg on Apr 22, 2010 9:30 PM CDT reply actions
dick — how could Kindle slip that far? Because of his sack numbers?
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 9:31 PM CDT reply actions
Colt to Minny?
Kyle Wilson will play nickel behind Revis and Cromartie. They are going to be just sick on D.
by dick on Apr 22, 2010 9:32 PM CDT reply actions
Gruden and Young might fight on camera before the night is over.
by nordberg on Apr 22, 2010 9:32 PM CDT reply actions
If I could engineer the tracks to propel the Favre hype train into the Tebow train somewhere near Pierre, South Dakota, the ensuing explosion would heal the planet.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 9:32 PM CDT reply actions
They’re talking micro-fracture surgery for Kindle.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 9:33 PM CDT reply actions
Despite their fans, the Jets keep looking saltier and saltier.
by Balltastic Motivization on Apr 22, 2010 9:33 PM CDT reply actions
I think Kindle is falling due to his hairstyle.
by sizzlechest on Apr 22, 2010 9:34 PM CDT reply actions
The JIMMY texted Tim! He received his electronic benediction!
Glorious!
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 9:34 PM CDT reply actions
Anyone interested in an update on the Real Housewives of Some Bullshit Affluent Locale? Because that’s what I’m stuck watching tonight. Marriage is totally worth it.
by BrickHorn on Apr 22, 2010 9:35 PM CDT reply actions
Seriously ESPN, the story would be if Colt slipped into the first round. Stop acting like he’s dropping all of a sudden.
by nordberg on Apr 22, 2010 9:35 PM CDT reply actions
Chronic sexters never get picked in the first round.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 9:35 PM CDT reply actions
Detroit jumps up to grab Jahvid Best. Now gambling that a good ambulance driver is still available in the 5th.
by Khan Kushon on Apr 22, 2010 9:36 PM CDT reply actions
When did this knee problem develop? It didn’t look like he had a knee problem during the season.
by kevwun on Apr 22, 2010 9:36 PM CDT reply actions
I like a concussion prone scatback to play on turf.
Fucking awesome pick.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 9:37 PM CDT reply actions
HenryJames just texted on his new droid:
Broncos should pick Chris Hall and then move the franchise to Colorado Springs.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 9:37 PM CDT reply actions
The Barking Carnival annual Spelling Bee continues here after the draft!
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 9:38 PM CDT reply actions
Toad, Kindle’s knee might require surgery and him to miss his rookie season. A la Rod Wright although KIndle will still be worth a 2nd or 3rd round pick.
The Colts will take Saffold or Jerry Hughes before Kindle. Man there are some terrific picks left for the early 2nd.
by dick on Apr 22, 2010 9:39 PM CDT reply actions
This is as good a place as any to admit I was born in Detroit. So it’s out there.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 9:39 PM CDT reply actions
Brick, that’s what Jared accounts are for. Let her watch that shit with her brand new tennis bracelet or topaz ear rings. Which means you can drink scotch and watch whatever you want with the exception of porn.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 9:40 PM CDT reply actions
They should start the second round after last call.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 9:40 PM CDT reply actions
Brick, put your woman to work. I have mine changing a diaper right now.
I love the Javid Best pick. I know he is an injury concern, but healthy is a way better runner than CJ Spiller. Watch him dominate like Johnson, if Detroit has any coaches. To bad no Colt yet. I can’t wait until tomorrow.
by Balltastic Motivization on Apr 22, 2010 9:41 PM CDT reply actions
Chucky gets caught dropping an Ass bomb live. Awesome.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 9:44 PM CDT reply actions
Guessing Colt isn’t going to the Saints or the Colts.
Probably Cleveland in the 2nd tomorrow.
by nordberg on Apr 22, 2010 9:44 PM CDT reply actions
Good pick up for the Colts. Hughes is going to be really good rushing the QB.
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 9:45 PM CDT reply actions
Vasherized dressed up like Paul Stanley for Halloween eight years in a row.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 9:45 PM CDT reply actions
Brick, put your woman to work. I have mine changing a diaper right now.
But I’m still dry.
Oh. The kids. Riiiight.
by BrickHorn on Apr 22, 2010 9:46 PM CDT reply actions
Better than the Bettye Lavette costume he followed it with.
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 9:47 PM CDT reply actions
I did not know the Vikings have the 34th pick. It will be interesting to see if anyone trades up to hop in front of them.
Of course, they could also take Jimmy with that pick.
by nordberg on Apr 22, 2010 9:49 PM CDT reply actions
The Rams should draft Colt in Rd 2, snap a pool cue in half, hand each end to Sam and Colt and find out who wants it more.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 9:50 PM CDT reply actions
OK, you busted me. I helped out with the diaper. Nothing like Butt Paste. One of the best things in the world.
by Balltastic Motivization on Apr 22, 2010 9:50 PM CDT reply actions
They would whittle them into an altar and take a knee.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 9:51 PM CDT reply actions
Gruden and Young hate each other. It’s awesome. This round table has been a disaster.
No one has mentioned anything about Kindle’s knees.
by Toadvine on Apr 22, 2010 9:52 PM CDT reply actions
Nice Scip. No doubt Colt wins that one, even without going for the gimpy shoulder. But alas, too good of friends.
by Balltastic Motivization on Apr 22, 2010 9:52 PM CDT reply actions
I bet Berman says “How Bout Dem Cowboys?” tomorrow when the Cowboys are on the board. He so captures the zeitgeist.
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 9:52 PM CDT reply actions
Tom Jackson seems pissed off tonight. Actually, they all do.
by nordberg on Apr 22, 2010 9:52 PM CDT reply actions
Brees is such a fucking rock star. It sure was nice of me to carry him through high school.
by nordberg on Apr 22, 2010 9:53 PM CDT reply actions
Drew Brees’ birthmark looks like Tim Tebow.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 9:54 PM CDT reply actions
Who Dat? Patrick Robinson.
No, I mean, literally. Who dat?
by Scipio Tex on Apr 22, 2010 9:54 PM CDT reply actions
The hatred actually makes the round table suck a little less. I just hope Chucky doesn’t shank him under the table. It’s about time somebody starts to stand up to Young.
by Balltastic Motivization on Apr 22, 2010 9:54 PM CDT reply actions
Bobby Bowden doesn’t even know who Patrick Robinson is.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 9:55 PM CDT reply actions
Should we move this party to an OKC vs. Lake open thread?
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 9:56 PM CDT reply actions
Too bad the Emu wasn’t invited to the draft.
by Vasherized on Apr 22, 2010 9:56 PM CDT reply actions
By the way, 5 to 1 says sizzlechest is watching the Brazilian Butt Lift infomercial.
by Trips Right on Apr 22, 2010 9:58 PM CDT reply actions
The guys over at OB are freaking out that their story on Kindle’s knee caused him to slide. They are actually discussing it.
by Balltastic Motivization on Apr 22, 2010 9:59 PM CDT reply actions
Mel Kiper?
Who the fuck is Mel Kiper and where did he come from?
more to the point
who actually pays this guy and how much?
does he have a file cabinent full of incriminating photos?
if you didnt like my sex tape can you imagine one with Mel Kiper?!!!
He has me beat in one area, though, he has actually done something in show biz
see him as the wicked witch in the ’Wizard of OZ"
by Paris Hilton on Apr 22, 2010 10:00 PM CDT reply actions
Orangebloods.com. Where an idiot can be an idiot and it’s just OK.
by sizzlechest on Apr 22, 2010 10:04 PM CDT reply actions
A trip to Orangebloods is like a trip to the zoo. Our very own texags.
Someone there today said that J’Covan Brown gives more effort than Avery Bradley. And that was literally the only thread I clicked on, because it was a Joseph update authored by our very own Trips Right.
by nordberg on Apr 22, 2010 10:07 PM CDT reply actions
If anyone on OB truly and I mean truly believes that Chip Brown actually found out some medical information on Sergio Kindle that Texas did not already disclose to the NFL teams or the teams own medical staff knew about him prior to today I want them to meet this 18 year on Craigslist who is anxious to talk to me.
Jesus, the NFL knew where Sergio had polyps in his lower colon two months ago. You don’t invest 8 figures into any risky investment without doing thorough due diligence.
by Tick Tock McGraw on Apr 22, 2010 10:58 PM CDT reply actions
Only to Ketch and his mail order Ukrainian bride.
by Tick Tock McGraw on Apr 22, 2010 11:17 PM CDT reply actions
Well, our warden finally gave us internet access, but why do you ask?
I’m stuck in San Diego right now, but I am proud to claim Galveston as the oasis that it is not.
As an aside (and just because it is a good story), we never had a doubt in high school that Casey Hampton was going to be great. He was dressed up as a cheerleader for our annual cheer game or whatever it was called and then proceeded, as a 300 lb man-child, to jump up and do the splits in midair.
by Balltastic Motivization on Apr 23, 2010 12:31 AM CDT reply actions
So Pete took Earl over Taylor Mays. That may have hurt him some.
by Sailor Ripley on Apr 23, 2010 1:16 AM CDT reply actions
And the running BC meme of Bradford cost himself x-million dollars because he came back for another year seems to have withered on the vine.
by ponderos on Apr 23, 2010 9:00 AM CDT reply actions
ponderos —
I like Bradford, really I do. But I hope he’s the final beneficiary of the insane guaranteed money structure that the No. 1 pick gets. Obviously, in terms of average pay scale in the NFL QB is the position where you pay the most, followed by left tackle, cover corner, pass rushing d-end, and so on. My recollection is that safety and running back are generally the lowest paid positions. At any rate, because QB is always a big expense, and a first pick is a guaranteed big expense, it behooves a team to take a flyer on a QB rather than to over pay at another position. This is why Bradford is your No. 1 overall. Not because he is the best talent in the pool. And I like the dude, really I do.
by Toadvine on Apr 23, 2010 9:09 AM CDT reply actions
Bradford delayed his big pay day by one year in order to get hurt and watch his team
suck which was a certainty with their OL. He was lucky that the Rams got the first pick. I’d wager that Bradford would like to go back in time to change his predictable fate.
by dick on Apr 23, 2010 9:27 AM CDT reply actions
Colt to nearest hospital? He is made of glass. A great college QB, but never there when you need him most.
by Bill Bixby on Apr 23, 2010 10:34 AM CDT reply actions
This would be a sweet draft method. Probably way better and more entertaining than today’s format.
by greentrees on Apr 23, 2010 2:39 PM CDT reply actions
Sensational looking webpage, where did you get the web template?
by Chauncey Schiavi on May 15, 2010 11:21 PM CDT reply actions
good share, great article, very usefull for us…thank you
by Christian Louboutin on Jun 11, 2010 6:43 PM CDT reply actions
i admit i watched season one, now i just find them annoying.
by agel dark on Jul 29, 2010 10:08 PM CDT reply actions
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
