OMG WE R SOOO FUCKD CORCH CAPEL!!

Ho hum. Just another Thursday in May for OU's scandalous basketball program. The latest incident has all the role players from a Magnum P.I. re-run:

Oronde Taliaferro, the former Oklahoma assistant basketball coach who abruptly resigned last month, exchanged at least 41 phone calls and 25 text messages over a 10-month period with a Tampa, Fla., financial adviser who reportedly wired $3,000 into the bank account of former OU forward Tiny Gallon.

"I CAN HAZ TINY DOLLAZ?"

We're assuming said financial adviser from Merrill Lynch, Jeffrey Hausinger, didn't come from the Harvard MBA pipeline. Those guys are busy swapping CDOs on Wall Street for billions while this hack is wiring the equivalent of two weeks' fare at the Tiny Buffet from his Tampa pontoon boat.

Like most of the basketball staff at OU, Hausinger is well-practiced in deniability and soon to be jobless. Barry Switzer could teach these guys a thing or two about the proper use of cash runners and untraceable stainless steel briefcases. A good smile can get you past anything, right Switzy?

Research has shown that traveling with young kids at all times conveys a genuine sense of innocence.

This unfortunate mishap for the Sooners overlaps well with their current probation status, which was set to expire Sunday. The goal of completing a calendar decade entirely on probation still looks intact.

WWWWD?

"Get my ass to the league like yesserday."

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