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Texas...umm...USA vs. Ghana Open Thread

Since all the blokes at Pitchmen are in full blown hooliganism/urine bomb mode, I'll go ahead and light this candle.

As for me, I'm dressing up like George Washington and grilling hot dogs. My wife's cooking an apple pie. Daughter is sewing an American flag. And my boys are outside selling blue jeans at a huge mark-up.

Hook 'EM, USA

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I found a Ghanaian bar on Rundberg. Sharpening up my machete in case things don’t go well.

by Vasherized on Jun 26, 2010 12:22 PM CDT reply actions  

I’m feeling guilty about drinking a Lone Star instead of a Bud.

by Matt Cotcher on Jun 26, 2010 12:43 PM CDT reply actions  

Good news — we are in the knockout phase!

Bad news — take a look at our starting lineup and it should be clear:

Altidore————Findley————————-

Dempsey————————————————————-Donovan

Bradley——Clark———————————

Bornstein———Bocanegra——-DeMerit———Cherundolo

Howard—————————————

Ok, maybe it’s not. We’re starting Ricardo Clark over Maurice Edu. Edu’s insertion into the lineup has, not coincidentally, immediately preceded everything good that has happened, including the entire Slovenia come-back. Clark started only the England game, where he he was directly responsible for the English goal because he left Gerrard unmarked on a run. Second problem — We are starting Robbie Findley over any one of Edson Buddle, Hercules Gomez, and Stuart Holden (who would play where Dempsey plays with Dempsey moving up top).

It’s pretty clear that, tactically, Bradley intends to sit back and try to score on counter-attacks. Sensible, maybe, in that it seems to be our strength. Trouble is, Ghana plays very compact and physical in the middle, and also looks to counter. This has all the makings of a dour, closed, slugfest of a game. And Clark is in there for range, meaning his responsibility will be covering the backline, so Bradley will be left trying to hold possession alone against a very strong midfield, which will lead to Dempsey pinching in, and the US lacking width. In sum, this looks likely to be 1-0 either way, and likely a choppy, scrappy, VERY physical game. I bet we see at least one red card.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 12:44 PM CDT reply actions  

So it will be Fehlhabber for Findley in the second half, pushing Dempsey up front? Findley’s in for speed to counter with. I think you’re right Toad. Great summation.

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 12:47 PM CDT reply actions  

If we can stop….. um…… fuck, I got nothin’.

by nordberg on Jun 26, 2010 12:48 PM CDT reply actions  

Yeah, Findley will definitely be the substitute, but it will likely depend on whether we are behind, leading, or tied. If we are up, then we’ll probably see Findley come off for Edu or Holden, with a shift to a single striker and one of Deuce or Donovan playing a little higher, but still behind. If we need a goal, then you might see Feilhaber for Clark, Gomez for Findley. If it’s a tie, then I think you’ll see Feilhaber for Clark and possibly pushing Dempsey upfront with a Findley for Holden swap.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 12:56 PM CDT reply actions  

Who’s voice did they use for the lead-in to this game? I know they’ve been using Martin Sheen for past games.

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 1:12 PM CDT reply actions  

nordberg, I thought the exact same thing. Ha ha ha ha.

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 1:12 PM CDT reply actions  

Michael Imperioli from the Sopranos.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 1:13 PM CDT reply actions  

Ghana’s danger men — Gyan, Boateng, and Assamoah.

Ghana is only playing a single striker. This is going to be a slow and ugly game.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 1:14 PM CDT reply actions  

Findley has speed, sure, but if he’s too tentative to take a shot…

by Matt on Jun 26, 2010 1:14 PM CDT reply actions  

That’s why Ricardo Clark shouldn’t have started. Bradley made a HUGE mistake starting him.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 1:23 PM CDT reply actions  

Also, terrible play by Howard. Completely out of position. He gave up a slow roller from 30 yards out at his near post. Pathetic really.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 1:25 PM CDT reply actions  

We are being completely destroyed. Bradley is double-covered and neither Findley or Clark belongs in a World Cup match. Bradley out-thought himself and really hurt the team today. Now we’re a goal down while playing a very negative tactical game. And we need two substitutes to change that (Edu, please!!!!) but we only have 3 total. Bradley really fucked this one up, as predicted above…

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 1:30 PM CDT reply actions  

Admittedly, I know nothing about soccer. But for supposedly being a pretty good team, our defensemen suck ass. It’s like they always take the wrong angles. I feel like I’m watching our basketball team trying to play man to man defense.

by Bartoncreek on Jun 26, 2010 1:33 PM CDT reply actions  

Another awful play by a defensemen. Wow, we suck.

by Bartoncreek on Jun 26, 2010 1:35 PM CDT reply actions  

John Harkes is an idiot. The only thing Cherundolo did right there was foul the guy that beat him.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 1:36 PM CDT reply actions  

We don’t suck. We started about playing a very poor tactical game and we can’t get out of it until halftime. This is entirely Bob Bradley’s fault (although the two mistakes by Clark and Howard didn’t help).

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 1:38 PM CDT reply actions  

O.k. I’ll trust you on that. Like I said, I don’t really know anything about soccer. It’s just the turnovers by our defensemen lead to easy attacks and they compound the problem by taking poor angles and leave shots to the goal open. Again, I might be talking out my ass, but I’m trying to at least figure this sport a little bit. You helped with your breakdown above.

by Bartoncreek on Jun 26, 2010 1:42 PM CDT reply actions  

We started only two in center of the midfield, but only on of the two (Michael Bradley) is worth a shit offensively. Clark kind of plays like a 5th defender, which we have to do because neither Donovan nor Dempsey ever tracks back defensively. The big problem is when one of our defenders or Clark turns the ball over — because then we are always outnumbered at the back.

So what happens is one of our players turns it over, leaving him behind the ball. Then immediately we are either outnumbered or even numbered on a rush, meaning a defender has to leave the space or man to which he’s assigned to try to stop a runner. Then the runner has open space to play the ball where the defender has come from. And that’s what’s happening.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 1:47 PM CDT reply actions  

You NEVER see a substitution like that at this point in the game. Bradley just admitted to the world that he made a huge mistake starting Clark. Too late to make a difference in terms of the first goal.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 1:50 PM CDT reply actions  

Haha, this is why soccer sucks. From what I’m hearing, the U.S. is “getting destroyed” and yet it’s only 1-0. LMAO. What a fucking shitty sport if you can get “destroyed” for 45 minutes and still be only down by 1.

by yojimbox on Jun 26, 2010 2:11 PM CDT reply actions  

What an intelligent and well thought out comment. I suppose if one were to break down the frequency of scoring and do a cross-sport analysis one would find that 1-goal is probably the equivalent of 10 points in Football, maybe 15 in basketball, probably 3 runs in baseball? But, yeah, it’s probably better to periodically stop shovelling feces in your mouth and write intelligent comments on a message board like yours.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 2:14 PM CDT reply actions  

I’d like to see Feilhaber in at mid and Dempsey up top.

by Matt on Jun 26, 2010 2:15 PM CDT reply actions  

Seems like Findley is an even bigger liability against a team that can match his speed. Why not roll out a lineup designed to maintain possession? Bradley’s a moron. We need Klinsman.

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 2:17 PM CDT reply actions  

Matt, I agree. Feilhaber seems to be a spark and it seems like Dempsey becomes more dangerous with Feilhaber in the game.

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 2:18 PM CDT reply actions  

right on cue

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 2:21 PM CDT reply actions  

So Edu is in? Who else is in/out?

by Bartoncreek on Jun 26, 2010 2:23 PM CDT reply actions  

Findlay’s out thank God

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 2:25 PM CDT reply actions  

Clark and Findley, the two mistakes, are both out. Their replacements, Feilhaber and Edu, are acquitting themselves well.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 2:26 PM CDT reply actions  

Damn, we look good this half. Guess it has to do with personnel?

by Bartoncreek on Jun 26, 2010 2:28 PM CDT reply actions  

You called it pre-game, Toad.

by Bartoncreek on Jun 26, 2010 2:29 PM CDT reply actions  

And tactics. Bradley made the adjustments at halftime that we should have rolled out with. We started negative, sitting back. Now we have an attacking lineup. Plus, findley kills attacks because he doesn’t know how to run anything but directly and can’t pass.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 2:30 PM CDT reply actions  

Ghana is tackling well too.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 2:30 PM CDT reply actions  

I did not expect Ghana to be this much more athletic than we are.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 2:31 PM CDT reply actions  

Guarantee Boateng has a pet hyena.

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 2:31 PM CDT reply actions  

Penal!! Penal!! Penal!!

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 2:35 PM CDT reply actions  

I am very impressed with Ghana’s tackling. But they were due to fuck one up!

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 2:35 PM CDT reply actions  

Wow, bad call

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 2:35 PM CDT reply actions  

woah!
HUGE penalty
but no PK?

by scagnetti on Jun 26, 2010 2:36 PM CDT reply actions  

Off the post

by Bartoncreek on Jun 26, 2010 2:36 PM CDT reply actions  

Toad says it wasn’t so that’s good enough for me.

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 2:36 PM CDT reply actions  

Wow, got some post there.

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 2:36 PM CDT reply actions  

DONE
LD!

by scagnetti on Jun 26, 2010 2:36 PM CDT reply actions  

It’s getting chippy.

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 2:37 PM CDT reply actions  

By the short hairs !

by triplehorn on Jun 26, 2010 2:37 PM CDT reply actions  

Boateng is a cock sucker

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 2:38 PM CDT reply actions  

That was definitely a penalty. Dempsey got it right in front of him. If they catch any piece of the ball it’s OK. He missed the ball on that one.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 2:39 PM CDT reply actions  

sounds like fans were chanting BULL-SHIT
with USA in response…

by scagnetti on Jun 26, 2010 2:39 PM CDT reply actions  

Boateng has made himself some big $$ this tourney. So has Michael Bradley.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 2:40 PM CDT reply actions  

damn kingston, big play

by scagnetti on Jun 26, 2010 2:41 PM CDT reply actions  

Boca is lucky that wasn’t a red.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 2:41 PM CDT reply actions  

Boeteng’s a rich cock sucker.

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 2:42 PM CDT reply actions  

Yep.

jozy and Dempsey both look tired and we only have one sub left. Probably Gomez?

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 2:44 PM CDT reply actions  

Jozy’s gassed

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 2:44 PM CDT reply actions  

Buddle, no?

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 2:45 PM CDT reply actions  

i was thinking buddle as well

by scagnetti on Jun 26, 2010 2:46 PM CDT reply actions  

I like Gomez more. He’s smarter and makes better runs. Buddle is better in the air. Kind of a toss up I guess.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 2:46 PM CDT reply actions  

Feilhaber might be the best Brazilian/Jewish/American soccer player of all-time.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 2:47 PM CDT reply actions  

Come on Bradley, poise there bro

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 2:50 PM CDT reply actions  

crap

by scagnetti on Jun 26, 2010 2:50 PM CDT reply actions  

Wow, that at’s a cramp

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 2:51 PM CDT reply actions  

I take it back, it is Prince that is the cocksucker. Not boateng. my bad

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 2:51 PM CDT reply actions  

boateng goes off?

by scagnetti on Jun 26, 2010 2:52 PM CDT reply actions  

Jozy has nada

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 2:52 PM CDT reply actions  

His name is Kevin Prince-Boateng! And he’s actually from Germany!

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 2:52 PM CDT reply actions  

He’s one of the pussycats now

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 2:53 PM CDT reply actions  

They’re both cocksuckers

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 2:53 PM CDT reply actions  

Damn

by Bartoncreek on Jun 26, 2010 2:54 PM CDT reply actions  

Jozy just fell. Not a penalty. Should’ve buried it.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 2:55 PM CDT reply actions  

We’re really good for 45 minutes

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 2:59 PM CDT reply actions  

Two really tired teams out there

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 3:02 PM CDT reply actions  

If I’m the USA, I hold for the last shot here

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 3:02 PM CDT reply actions  

I wish Landon donovan had shown up for this game.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 3:03 PM CDT reply actions  

Trips, you’re the best.

Tactical point here — Bradley having to make the early sub for Clark has made it impossible for him to change the game by inserting a fresh player here. This is the long-term effect of the bad Clark decision. We only have one sub left which we have to preserve for injury.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 3:05 PM CDT reply actions  

jozy catching his 2nd wind there

by scagnetti on Jun 26, 2010 3:06 PM CDT reply actions  

Anyone else get extremely xenophobic while watching the World Cup. For the 90 minutes the U.S. is playing, the most ridiculous and hateful stuff comes out of my mouth. It’s actually easier for me to get nasty against another country than against anyone UT is playing in football (OU excepted), even though my feelings towards Florida Atlantic and Wyoming are about on par with my feelings toward Ghana, Slovenia, and Algeria.

by Schwetty Balls on Jun 26, 2010 3:09 PM CDT reply actions  

So Feilhaber gets the start if we advance, right? Have to do something to avoid sluggish starts

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 3:09 PM CDT reply actions  

usual 20 minute halftime time period between extra time, yes?
whats the break between the two 15 minute halves of extra time?
any one know?

i gotta give my Schwetty Balls a shower after that comment

by scagnetti on Jun 26, 2010 3:12 PM CDT reply actions  

So we get an injury and we can’t sub?

by Bartoncreek on Jun 26, 2010 3:13 PM CDT reply actions  

gomez for jozy

by scagnetti on Jun 26, 2010 3:13 PM CDT reply actions  

Gomez for Jozy

by futurecloser34 on Jun 26, 2010 3:14 PM CDT reply actions  

No we’re done with subs

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 3:14 PM CDT reply actions  

We have now used all of our subs. So if anyone gets injured we have to play a man down. I agree with bringing Gomez on and I hope Dempsey can dig deep to find the energy to keep going.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 3:15 PM CDT reply actions  

Donovan has played pretty bad today

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 3:15 PM CDT reply actions  

They out jump us for every header. Wonder why?

by Bartoncreek on Jun 26, 2010 3:15 PM CDT reply actions  

That was a very nice goal.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 3:16 PM CDT reply actions  

fuck sticks
an aerly goal AGAIN?!

by scagnetti on Jun 26, 2010 3:17 PM CDT reply actions  

Donovan played poorly against Algeria too — he just managed to score.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 3:17 PM CDT reply actions  

thank gawd for no golden goal?!

by scagnetti on Jun 26, 2010 3:17 PM CDT reply actions  

We’ll get it back

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 3:19 PM CDT reply actions  

Took it in the fellas on that one.

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 3:19 PM CDT reply actions  

Nope, he’s just a pussy

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 3:20 PM CDT reply actions  

Oh, that should have been it right there.

Ghana is a much stronger and more athletic team than we are. We are better technically.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 3:22 PM CDT reply actions  

we are struggling with fitness it seems

by scagnetti on Jun 26, 2010 3:23 PM CDT reply actions  

Ghana is diving to milk the clock.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 3:23 PM CDT reply actions  

If we are going to resort to 50-yard long balls then we should have put Buddle in.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 3:24 PM CDT reply actions  

toad that was before we gave a groaner in the 3rd minute

by scagnetti on Jun 26, 2010 3:25 PM CDT reply actions  

Donovan is having a nightmare. Really poor game for him.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 3:26 PM CDT reply actions  

Just piss poor by Donovan

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 3:26 PM CDT reply actions  

Everything that Bradley has gotten right in the other games he’s gotten wrong today. This fatigue is due to the failure of his starting decisions.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 3:27 PM CDT reply actions  

TD is gassed. everyone is, why do you think we are booting it 50 yards

by scagnetti on Jun 26, 2010 3:27 PM CDT reply actions  

Agreed scag. But that was kind of foreseeable, too.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 3:28 PM CDT reply actions  

LD needs to step it up here. He and Dempsey (who has been a MAN today) really need to lead this team now.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 3:30 PM CDT reply actions  

Just need a good bounce.

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 3:30 PM CDT reply actions  

Good God this is horrible.

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 3:32 PM CDT reply actions  

Just tired, tired legs.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 3:33 PM CDT reply actions  

Bradley’s gonna have to make a play

by Bartoncreek on Jun 26, 2010 3:34 PM CDT reply actions  

This is hard to watch.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 3:35 PM CDT reply actions  

that has to be a card

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 3:36 PM CDT reply actions  

This is as much a part of the game as trading free throws in a close NBA game is.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 3:37 PM CDT reply actions  

This is the kind of bullshit pussy crap that makes soccer un-American.

by Bartoncreek on Jun 26, 2010 3:37 PM CDT reply actions  

Thats fucking comical

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 3:37 PM CDT reply actions  

We have got to stop playing long balls. Our best chance is to hold the ball on the ground and try to score off of a free kick.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 3:39 PM CDT reply actions  

I wouldn’t have given the ball back if I was the U.S. after the flop

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 3:39 PM CDT reply actions  

this corner is critical

by scagnetti on Jun 26, 2010 3:41 PM CDT reply actions  

I’m not making any excuses for Donovan. He wants to be the man — so he needs to show up in games like this.

I’m OK with the team and it’s effort. I think Bob Bradley killed them today.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 3:44 PM CDT reply actions  

thats ball game i think, that last foul

by scagnetti on Jun 26, 2010 3:45 PM CDT reply actions  

Donovan is killing us. That was almost it

by Bartoncreek on Jun 26, 2010 3:45 PM CDT reply actions  

Big corner here.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 3:45 PM CDT reply actions  

pulling howard up, fuck

by scagnetti on Jun 26, 2010 3:47 PM CDT reply actions  

Well, fair play to Ghana. They have outplayed us today and scored a very nice goal in extra time.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 3:47 PM CDT reply actions  

just need a bounce

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 3:47 PM CDT reply actions  

the desperation can be smelled around the world only second to comic con

by scagnetti on Jun 26, 2010 3:49 PM CDT reply actions  

Couldn’t survive the coaching decision.

by Trips Right on Jun 26, 2010 3:49 PM CDT reply actions  

done and done

by scagnetti on Jun 26, 2010 3:49 PM CDT reply actions  

the boys were thinking about the semis

by scagnetti on Jun 26, 2010 3:50 PM CDT reply actions  

They deserved it. They were stronger and more phsysical than us.

by Bartoncreek on Jun 26, 2010 3:52 PM CDT reply actions  

That is frustrating. Coaching decisions put us in an impossible situation. There was no reason to come out as negative as we did. There was no reason to play Findley or Clark. Those were bad decisions which caused us to burn early substitutions, which left us with very tired legs later on and nothing that we could do about it. That being said, Ghana played very well and deserved to win.

This is what’s frustrating about our team. We don’t have a single transcendent talent capable of doing for us what Gyan did for Ghana. He created that goal out of thin air, and it was a beauty. That’s what a world class striker can do. We have a couple of good strikers, but no one who is World Class. For my money, we have only one real world-class player — Clint Dempsey. I think Michael Bradley will get there, but never as a match winner. We have other good players — like Donovan — but they are only good if surrounded by other good players. They can’t turn a match on their own.

So it goes, back to the drawing board.

by Toadvine on Jun 26, 2010 3:55 PM CDT reply actions  

Overall the US team should be embarrassed by their performance. Decent tie with England, at times ripped off by some refs, a nice comeback, but the same 1st half mistakes every Bafokeng game and you lost to Ghana. Again. 300 million vs 23.

Not a way to win fans, for another 4 years pretty much no real American male will give a hoot about soccer and its non-scoring flopping lameness. Not to mention the WWF and NBA laughing at your officiating. Spain’s prepaid into the finals, though it would be fitting if U-R-Gay wins it all.

by Bianca Ghana Rhea on Jun 26, 2010 4:27 PM CDT reply actions  

Toad, you and I are simpatico on all your big points. From my comfortable perch at the Red Lion I almost projectile vomited when i saw Clark in instead of Edu. I even said out loud, “wtfuck.”

Holden should have logged minutes.

Bradley made a lot of coin, and I think he’s a class player. I’ll be interested to see who values him. He seems to have the ability to play any of the differing futbol styles of the top leagues. He could play for any team in the world and not be a weakness. He is world class.

Dempsey is world class, I agree, but so is Donovan. He was the invisible man today, but don’t discount his World Cup. I have come full circle on him. It mirrors my thoughts on another SoCal softy. I used to hate Oscar De La Hoya, but when he agreed to have his kidneys pummeled by Bernard Hopkins, I started liking him. Donovan has toughened up too.

by magnusbleuveigner on Jun 27, 2010 1:57 AM CDT reply actions  

Thank God its over and the USA lost. Now everyone can admit that: a. other than about 100 people, no one in this country cares about soccer b. whether its this level or my 8 year olds’ YMCA level, the ‘sport’ is mind-numbingly boring c. any sport where the players line up and do the macarena after scoring a goal [granted it almost never happens] is not a sport and its participants should be flogged d. 0-0 is not a “great game”.

by ransomstoddard on Jun 27, 2010 10:19 AM CDT reply actions  

Well ransom, I know you live in Oklahoma City, so I give your comments the natural handicap your residence requires. That being said, I will have to take issue with your opinion because it is about as enlightened as the Alhambra Decree.

First, soccer is only “boring” if you are incapable of appreciating nuance. If you are, so be it. I’m sure you enjoy Vin Diesel, Tom Cruise, Nickelback, Dan Brown, fast food, BMW 3-series cars, 6500 sq ft McMansions, and the other wonderful trappings of mindlessness with which we are always inundated. By which I mean to suggest that soccer is, in fact, a cerebral sport which does not lend itself to the casual enjoyment of one who’d prefer not to think while watching sports. So there’s that which, I suspect, explains much of your opinion.

But maybe there’s more. Maybe you don’t UNDERSTAND the game, and that fear engenders its natural partner anger. In which case, it’s OK. Fear of the other is a hallmark of human nature. All animal nature, really. We have battled, evolutionarily speaking, to fight that tendency in our species because, unlike other animals, sometimes reason allows us to trump instinct. But sometimes not. And if your fear is made worse by the fact that your old lady would like Christiano Ronaldo to pipe her, that’s only understandable. Hell, maybe the worst thing about it is that you watch some of these world-class players and realize they are not much different from you, except that they excel at athletics and have chicks who desperately want to bang them. May be they too are only 5’7" and balding (Wesley Snjeider, for example), but somehow they appear more, virile?

And as for the dancing, well, you are in Oklahoma City. You probably hate Ochocinco, right? Dislike when someone dunks and hangs on the rim? Prefer your athletics devoid of exuberance? That’s a matter of taste I suppose. Can’t fault someone from the Dust Bowl for wanting uniformity and conformity, can we?

by Toadvine on Jun 27, 2010 11:29 AM CDT reply actions  

I used to drive a BMW 3-series. There was a lot of nuance in the way it performed.

Toadvine, I have come to appreciate soccer more over the years… but there are some large issues that need to be addressed IMO. Please contact Sep and discuss.

- Officiating needs dramatic improvement. Need more than one official on the field. One ref can’t possible cover enough ground, and certainly can’t see all the mugging on the set pieces. I realize there are two assistants on the sidelines, but they are too far away from the action.

- Offside. I’ve heard for years that there is an advantage given to the offense when a player is level, but this World Cup didn’t play out that way. It’s almost as if FIFA wants 0-0 so the ransomstoddard’s will go back to watching American Gladiators.

- Technology. Need to institute instant replay on at least scoring chances (see Germany v. England this morning).

- Flopping. I went out to get my newspaper this morning and threw myself on the ground and grabbed my head after tripping on a blade of grass. I was awarded a free kick and the neighbor’s cat was carded.

Having said all that I’m really enjoying the WC, and will continue to watch even though our boys are out.

by Art Vandelay on Jun 27, 2010 1:40 PM CDT reply actions  

“First, soccer is only "boring" if you are incapable of appreciating nuance. If you are, so be it. I’m sure you enjoy Vin Diesel, Tom Cruise, Nickelback, Dan Brown, fast food, BMW 3-series cars, "

BMW 3 Series cars are awesome for the price point. The M3 is one of the greatest cars ever made. The X3 is fucking amazing in Hong Kong where everrything is small and all wheel drive is key.

Just because in the 90s a bunch of dallas 30k millionaires leased the bottom end of the 3 series line doesn’t make the cars shitty, it makes the guys who stretched to lease them and acted like they were ferrari f430s silly.

And 3 series BMWs are all about nuance.

Everything else you said was funny.

by hornin hong kong on Jun 28, 2010 1:14 AM CDT reply actions  

Toad only drives the 55 Gull Wing.

by Sailor Ripley on Jun 28, 2010 3:18 AM CDT reply actions  

hongkong,

Are you Chung and did you just change countries??

http://www.snopes.com/risque/tattled/chung.asp

Sailor —

I have a sidecar too.

by Toadvine on Jun 28, 2010 8:43 AM CDT reply actions  

Toadvine,

I’ve really enjoyed reading your stuff as I am fairly ignorant when it comes to soccer. I have really enjoyed the worldcup and as I live up here in the northern burbs of Dallas am even thinking of going to some FC Dallas games now. The game is certainly not “boring” as I have found but rather quite the opposite.

One thing I would caution you against however is something that I resented for a long time about soccer fans, and that is to immediately counter with the “you don’t understand the game” argument to anyone who says they don’t like it. In many cases it may be true but this is one of the things that really turns a lot of people off to the game. I know a lot of people who hate the fans of soccer because they perceive them as condescending, and as such wont give the game a chance . Just my $0.02.

As far as the obstacles to more widespread appeal go, I agree with others after watching this years WC, the officiating and lack of replay are going to be major barriers for sports fans in the US. I get the sense that many fringe or would-be soccer fans in this country are turned off by the games officiating, flopping, and resistance to any sort of replay. When we see something that can be fixed or iproved in one of our sports, by and large we do our best to fix it. We instituted replay in Football and I can’t imagine the game without it at this point. We use it in Basketball to determine shot clock violations etc, and even the most stubborn of our sports, Baseball, now uses it to determine fair/foul and homerun balls. Yes I know about that whole perfect game getting robbed thing a few weeks ago but look at the reaction. The nation was immediately screaming for replay to be used on such calls as well and I can see it being implemented down the road as a result of that injustice.

Kepp up the great work Toad and don’t let the bastards keep you down.

by t1climb1 on Jun 28, 2010 9:29 AM CDT reply actions  

t1 —

Fair and good point. Mainly I was just poking ransom. In the grand tradition of the promoters of unpopular sports, I espouse a barnstormer’s willing to take on all comers at trading barbs.

by Toadvine on Jun 28, 2010 10:05 AM CDT reply actions  

To say that watching a baseball game on TV is actually more exciting than a soccer game is some serious Nobel Prize winning insight. The whole lack of scoring complaint supports the theory that neanderthals never actually went extinct. Scoring a goal is actually a lot harder than hitting a 100mph fastball, scoring from behind the 3pt line, or putting it between the numbers. Why is it that the same people who complain about the lack scoring in soccer will turn around and celebrate a no hitter?! I guess that’s a rhetorical question.

The 23 vs. 300 mil thing is another museum piece of intellect. Like in basketball and football, most soccer players are cultivated from the lower classes. There’s no soccer culture in American inner cities, therefore you’re not getting the truly hungry athletes. Ghana’s GDP is roughly equaled to that of Vermont’s, even if you don’t make it to the top leagues in Europe, playing in Russia or Sweden will net you a much better future than being a doctor in your own country.

A population sample of 40 million, the GDP the size of Mississippi and a culture that builds churches to the Michael Jordan’s of the game will give you one of the largest producers of talent in the world and a two time world champion like Argentina. Finding talent in the US shouldn’t be that difficult since the more popular sports can take 80% of the talent pool and still leave behind enough talent to be competitive. Without the culture, however, expect more of those 300 mil v. 23 mil situations.

For all its detractors in this country, the World Cup is the most comprehensive and legitimate world championship in all of professional sport. Ignoring that fact is also condescending.

by Garrincha's ghost on Jun 28, 2010 11:58 PM CDT reply actions  

Once upon a time I was the sideline ref (the guy who mainly just calls out of bounds) in one of my son’s soccer games when he was about 6. He intercepted a pass at mid-field right next to where I happened to be standing. I noticed that he had a clear field all the way until the goal (where there were 2 fullbacks and a goalie). I instantly turned into a 3rd base coach and yelled at him to “GO!!!”. He took off like a scalded cat, I’m running alongside him (continuing to hold my flag and still yelling “GO!!!”). As he gets near the goal, the fullbacks come out (tentatively) to meet him. He kicks the ball between them and then steams right by them. Now he’s one one on the goalie, who is standing real near the goal line. My son kicks the ball hard and it bounces off the goalie and caroms into the net.

That was the most exciting soccer goal I ever saw.

Considering how little interest there is in soccer in the USA (the vast majority of Americans have either zero interest or pay attention only during world cup), the USA does OK in soccer.

by Kafka on Jun 29, 2010 10:15 AM CDT reply actions  

I like soccer and actually have played soccer quite a bit (as a goalie in college IM soccer, as a goalie in industrial league play, and with my kids back when they played organized soccer). Soccer is a good game but it has its problems.

Not getting to use your hands means that you have to multiplex running and control activities on the same two limbs. People are also naturally more skilled with their hands than their feet. These two factors make it much, much tougher to become a skilled offensive player in soccer than in (for example) basketball.

The difficulty of scoring in soccer is another problem. Because goals are so rare, it magnifies the impact that bad refereeing has on a match, thus inducing all the flopping that afflicts soccer. It also means that it is relatively straight forward for the weaker team to go into a defensive shell and earn a scoreless tie. This brings us to one of the worst abominations of soccer, the penalty shootout to decide who wins the match (for example, the 2006 world cup).

Americans will adopt new sports. For example, MMA is now way more popular than boxing, partially because it is much more sophisticated in terms of offensive capabilities than boxing.

Soccer has a great tradition and may be the oldest team sport but America is not that into tradition.

by Kafka on Jun 29, 2010 10:53 AM CDT reply actions  

Toad -

I really enjoyed your comments and breakdown of the U.S. team in particular. And especially your response to ransom. As soon as I saw Findley in the starting line-up I knew Bradley was screwing the pooch. I was also not particularly impressed with Altidore in this Cup either.

 I think Juergen Klinsman summed up the disadvantage U.S. soccer has with the rest of the world in one of the WWL panel discussions. He pointed out where the to the rest of the world soccer is a lower class sport, drawing athletes with passion and drive from the working classes, in the U.S. it is typically a middle to upper class sport. My personal experience playing int the States confirms that. To make a traveling team, or get to Olympic Developmental try-outs, you have to have money and political (within the youth soccer community) clout. If you compare this to football where elite athletes are actively recruited and rise to stardom from the lower class, you can see we are just scratching the surface of the talent pool we have available.

I have played with and coached kids that had the potential to be elite, word-class soccer players. But the structure doesn’t exist within the U.S. to help them rise to that level, it is put entirely on the families to get them noticed and trained. I coached a co-ed, 13-15 year old team from a military base in Germany. We crushed the top local German youth team, twice. The German team was affiliated with VFB Stuttgart, and the kids were hand picked by the club. Our side wasn’t an all-star team, just boys and girls that signed up through the youth center. The talent and the understanding of the game exists for us to compete at the highest level, what needs to change is how we find our most talented players and teach them the basic skills of the game at an early age. I saw one glaring difference between the U.S. and the elite teams like Germany and Argentina. Their first touch is phenomenal, ours was atrocious. Until basics like that become second nature in our top level players, we will always be a second tier soccer nation.

As far as ransom’s comments went, you covered them pretty well. I watched a friendly between Italy and Germany once, the closest thing in American sports to that atmosphere is college football, and even then it’s not as intense unless it’s the MNC. Soccer can be a boring game when it’s not played well, just like any other sport. When it is played well it is absolutely beautiful to watch. Americans that hate soccer don’t understand the game. They seem to view their anti-soccer stance in the face of it being the most popular sport in the world the same way emo kids hate everything the rest of the student body embraces. They’re so edgy in a prepubescent way.

by AZHorn on Jun 29, 2010 11:30 AM CDT reply actions  

AZHorn,
Well, if Jurgen said so, I feel vindicated. ;-) I haven’t followed the WC on ESPN much so I’m unfamiliar with his remarks. I can’t stand Lalas and John Harkes, they bring nothing, so I opt for the BBC or the Spanish networks. I did see a comment by Wynalda which said that Spain’s possession is a waist and their passing too pretty. I’m guessing he feels the same about Barcelona’s play, that kind of punditry is poison for the uninitiated. I’m sure that’s not indicative of the knowledge you refer to.

Personally I don’t think the understanding of the game is there yet, there’s a handful of coaches that may have it, but by in large that knowledge is fairly lacking. Bob Bradley is a good representation of such state. He understands the game enough to make good in-game adjustments, but his ability to devise a competitive system leaves much to be desired. Not to mentioned that he played a very basic 4-4-2, something that every coach should be able to master. There was nothing interesting about his approach, and when you compare it to the Bielsa’s of the world he’s not even close. There’s a reason why the 442 has died in Europe, Lippi and Capelo used it and look where it got them. The US must break from those archaic shackles.

The US needs a master of the craft, a guy that can mold an identity, which in my opinion has more roots in the latin game than in Liverpool of the late 70’s and 80’s. Most of the future talent of the team will be of latin american and african decent, I think that the amalgam of the speed and power of the african game with the touch and dribbling skills of the latin game would make for a very potent mix. I just don’t see a future with the suburban anglo approach, it has not yielded good results. France is more the model to draw upon than Germany or England. In fact I think a many European nations have started to do so, starting with the Germans. I’m sure you will agree that their abysmal showing has nothing to do with the quality of players they’ve been able to produce over the last 30 years. But that’s just my personal opinion.

by Garrincha's ghost on Jun 29, 2010 10:54 PM CDT reply actions  

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