A Different Side Of Mack Brown
by Scipio Tex on Sep 16, 2010 3:42 PM CDT
in Texas Longhorns and Other Football
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PrintThis piece by Pat Forde on Mack Brown is well worth a read and a useful reminder as to why the warm and fuzzy community organizer that we see working the media and drawing the love of mamas everywhere is also 130-27 (.828) as head coach at Texas.
Watch this team meeting after the lackluster Rice win:
As a brief aside, I noticed the commercial push for Shyamalan's latest rape of theater goers good will - The Devil. Why would any movie advertise it's by M. Night Shyamalan? Even those he does? I would go out of my way to advertise that my project has nothing to do with him. If I were doing an English costume drama or a buddy cop movie - I would flash in the preview NOT BY M NIGHT SHYAMALAN as a way of assuring my viewers that they won't end the movie wishing to take out the bolts from their theater seat, roll them in a sock, and bludgeon the manager until they receive a ticket refund and a Jujubee coupon.
The Sixth Sense was a very long time ago, wasn't it?
So, Mephistopheles is in an elevator. Riveting! Lucifer meets Die Hard! Satan has taken over Nakatomi Center. I bet he does mean things. I bet it's revealed that the Devil is in all of us! Or it's probably a woman named Dee. Dee Monn. She wears red.
Next series installment - a zombie works a toll booth. Change for a 10, mister? Gaaaaaaaaa. Hey, buddy, you OK? Gaaaaaaaaaaaa. No! No! Not my brains.
...but wait, it turns out that WE ARE THE ZOMBIES! WE ARE THE ZOMBIES. NOT THEM! WE. OH, WHAT A CRUEL, IRONIC TWIST AND A VIBRANT COMMENTARY ON POST-INDUSTRIAL SOCIETY!*
*movie concept 'Tollbooth Zombies' copywrite protected
Back to our regularly scheduled programming...
Some cool things I took from the Forde piece:
- The level of accountability imposed by players having to perform up and downs for Not Our Standard plays
- Mack's constant harping on selfishness and his willingness to confront me-first guys
- His post-practice thoughts on the Dolphin player's $50,000 earring, the UNC agent scandal, calling out H-Town players
- The multimillionaire head coach's wife bakes the entire team cookies, doesn't care if Mack skips their anniversary to watch a football game, and consented to be married during a lunch break after a run through a BK drive-thru. Sally Brown, you are Helen of Troy. Women of Barking Carnival - heed her example.
- The Texas recruiting profile:
ability, plus a background in a winning program; good family values (usually including at least one strong male role model in the player's life); a core GPA of 3.0 or better; leadership skills within the team, school and community; confidence and happiness; toughness and competitiveness; and it certainly helps if the player "likes Texas!"
The strong male authority figure part caught my eye. And it makes a lot of sense. And interesting use of the read receipt function on e-mail to gauge recruit interest.
Muschamp moment:
The room is split between offense and defense, and when the coaches come in, the coordinators go to work. Greg Davis is quietly analytical on his side. Will Muschamp is not.
"They got one fluke, and they hurt us with the zone read," Muschamp says, stewing on two quarterback runs for good yardage. "That's it. Just do your [bleeping] job. Assignment football. Do your [bleeping] job!
I love that all of my readers just read this and immediately stiffened and started filling out their TPS reports. He's not talking to you people.
Some amusing things I took from the Forde piece:
- A trick shot archer? Hitting aspirin. Mack is desperate to break up the monotony. Next, Major Applewhite will ride a Lippizanner stallion.
- In the pre-game Rice video, Mack uses an overhead projector with plastic laminates to put up a series of disjointed images meant to focus the guys pre-game. My 2nd grade home room teacher Mrs O' Neill would have been proud. Next, they all practiced their cursive.
- Greg Davis praising Gilbert for a 2 yard route to Greg Smith on 3rd and 17 so that we can get a long field goal attempt. Well, it's better than a sack or interception, but not quite what we're looking for there, Greg.
- His graceful handling of the awkward deer cross gifting. "Coach Brown, I made a speedo merkin from some road kill and I'd like you to have it."
Best line of the piece:
The first time Brown yelled at Young, it didn't go over well.
"I've never been yelled at by a white man before," Young explained.
"I'm going to be white," Brown responded. "And I'm probably going to yell at you again."
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I like that you took the time to face rape M. Night Smalamahan.
by nordberg on Sep 16, 2010 4:00 PM CDT reply actions
Nakatomi Plaza, not Center. Very M. Night mistake IMHO.
by LAHorn on Sep 16, 2010 4:09 PM CDT reply actions
M Night Shanahan hasn’t had a good year since John Elway retired.
by Scipio Tex on Sep 16, 2010 4:09 PM CDT reply actions
Nakatomi Plaza, not Center. Very M. Night mistake IMHO.
Shut up, Ellis. You’re in over your head. You don’t understand these men.
by Scipio Tex on Sep 16, 2010 4:10 PM CDT reply actions
Like Coach Applewhite, Lippizanner stallions are white.
by Captain Frank Ramsey on Sep 16, 2010 4:16 PM CDT reply actions
I once tripped getting out of a friend’s jeep, almost knocking a guy over and yelling “motherfucker!” at the same time. That guy was Mike Shanahan, who was none too pleased. True story. Too lame to be made up.
by nordberg on Sep 16, 2010 4:19 PM CDT reply actions
Nice to see the World-Wide Leader paying Texas back so handsomely for not imploding their CFB near-monopoly. I confess I’m a little surprised they didn’t wait until the body was cold, though.
by Oliver Stone on Sep 16, 2010 4:26 PM CDT reply actions
From the cutting room floor of Die Hard.
Joseph Takagi: “Our security system has never been hacked into by a black man before.”
by magnusbleuveigner on Sep 16, 2010 4:32 PM CDT reply actions
Mack doesn’t look or act like a man with a coach in waiting behind him.
by Enjoying the moment on Sep 16, 2010 4:33 PM CDT reply actions
I’ve come to decide that “Coach in Waiting” means “Realizing that we have the best coordinator in football and paying him that way without insulting Davis that he doesn’t get the equivalent raise.” Rolls off the tongue easier too.
by patronsaint on Sep 16, 2010 4:43 PM CDT reply actions
Hey babe, I negotiate million dollar deals for breakfast. I think I can handle this eurotrash. Hey, sprechen ze talk, huh?
by Burnt Orange Wookiee on Sep 16, 2010 4:52 PM CDT reply actions
They walked along the lake. The bats stirred.
Mack?
Yes Will?
When will the Major ride the Lippizanner stallion?
Maybe after we beat Oklahoma, Will.
The players will like that, Mack.
by texastough on Sep 16, 2010 5:08 PM CDT reply actions
“It’s Christmas, Theo. It’s the time of miracles.”
by Cincinnatus on Sep 16, 2010 5:36 PM CDT reply actions
“Because of this completion, you allowed Coach Brown to kick a field goal,” Davis says. “It’s important that you do what the defense tells you to do.”
Go for the gold, Greg, go-for-the-gold.
by Phaeded on Sep 16, 2010 6:01 PM CDT reply actions
I just wanted to drop in and congratulate Texas Tough for winning the internet.
by PaulKemp on Sep 16, 2010 6:13 PM CDT reply actions
Davis says. "It’s important that you do what the defense tells you to do."
Sigh. The terrorists have won.
by what it do on Sep 16, 2010 6:19 PM CDT reply actions
The day job marketing professional in me was proud of the Longhorns use of tracking click-thrus on their e-mail campaigns to recruiting targets. And there’s a lesson there: Corporate convention is that sales follows up when there is a click-thru. The Longhorn coaches follow-up when there isn’t.
by Dumeril Seven on Sep 16, 2010 6:21 PM CDT reply actions
if this we’re a leading pay site, there would have been at least three “yippie kay-yay” quotes already.
i love this place.
by Christian Wofford on Sep 16, 2010 6:33 PM CDT reply actions
Which Day was the “read receipt” comment on?
by what it do on Sep 16, 2010 6:41 PM CDT reply actions
Who knows. Probably some stock broker who got depressed.
by Newy25 on Sep 16, 2010 6:50 PM CDT reply actions
“"Because of this completion, you allowed Coach Brown to kick a field goal," Davis says. "It’s important that you do what the defense tells you to do."”
“You have pleased the Coach. Your completions sate him. His field goal desires have been quenched.”
Also – Coach Brown does have a great leg, but I haven’t seen him suit up in a few seasons.
by TXinDC on Sep 16, 2010 8:56 PM CDT reply actions
I’m surprised nobody has commented on the fact that the accoutrements of the Offensive Coordination War Room include a tin of Copenhagen and a jumbo sized tub of Animal Crackers. The joke doesn’t write itself, but does it need to? It’s kind of surrealist and funny in a Bill Byrne weekly bat guano update sort of way.
by Arriviste on Sep 16, 2010 9:44 PM CDT reply actions
we’re gonna need more FBI guys
by Mackovic's wine celler gimp on Sep 16, 2010 9:45 PM CDT reply actions
For all of his inexplicable love for all things Greg Davis, there is no one in America I would rather have coaching UT
by ransomstoddard on Sep 16, 2010 9:58 PM CDT reply actions
I’m FBI agent Cody Johnson. This is FBI agent Dravanti Johnson. No relation.
by nordberg on Sep 16, 2010 10:12 PM CDT reply actions
I’m confused. The Texas recruiting profile didn’t mention gook kids or white girlfriends.
by Nero on Sep 16, 2010 10:32 PM CDT reply actions
If The Devil was an M. Night Shanahan movie, Orakpo would be Beelzebub and Romo would have been the first one in the elevator. Schaub is next.
by tdwalsh on Sep 16, 2010 10:50 PM CDT reply actions
Forde did a very good job in revealing Mack in all his homespun, “nice guys finish first — but by God he’ll jump somebody’s ass when he needs to” glory. Mack’s one heckuva coach/personnel manager but more than that, he’s one heckuva guy. Very proud that he’s our head coach.
by burnt orange outrage on Sep 16, 2010 11:18 PM CDT reply actions
Because of this completion, you allowed Coach Brown to kick a field goal," Davis says. "It’s important that you do what the defense tells you to do.
I’ve despised Greg Davis for at least ten years without the benefit of a lot of inside information about him. This comment only reinforces that my hatred of the motherfucker is justified. He’s a goddamn buffoon and there is no other way around it.
by Blueshorn on Sep 16, 2010 11:51 PM CDT reply actions
What I took from the piece is that Mack doesn’t really give a damn about what anybody thinks of him, but cares a hell of a lot about what people think of the players, team, program, and assistants. He is a unique phenomenon of a man and leader that we have only begun to understand and won’t fully appreciate except in wistful hindsight.
by LurkerintheDark on Sep 17, 2010 4:22 AM CDT reply actions
“Do what the defense tells you” needs to go on our 2011 wristband.
by nordberg on Sep 17, 2010 8:19 AM CDT reply actions
Blueshorn,
So you’d rather Gilber force a ball to a covered receiver resulting in a turnover?
While we can take issue with the play call to begin with, I don’t want our coaches telling players to be lazy with ball security when we have the opportunity for points. Turnovers lose football games, it’s that simple.
by Biznesstime on Sep 17, 2010 8:55 AM CDT reply actions
The Forde MB story also held some pleasant surprises for me. Foremost being that in private he isn’t nearly so warm and cuddly with the team as he seems in public. That makes me feel good.
by Microhorn on Sep 17, 2010 9:13 AM CDT reply actions
Texas better pull it off this weekend. I got 50 bucks bet on them assholes.
by hg03 on Sep 17, 2010 9:27 AM CDT reply actions
“Turnovers lose football games, it’s that simple.”
I must have missed that episode of 60 Minutes.
by nordberg on Sep 17, 2010 9:31 AM CDT reply actions
I had forgotten that Mack’s mother died during the offseason. The part about it being the first game he didn’t call her afterwards made me feel pretty bad for him. That would hurt a lot.
Mack is a great coach and a great guy. I hope I get the chance to run in to him some day.
by UT-06 on Sep 17, 2010 10:08 AM CDT reply actions
06,
He’s an incredible man. I was at the Texas Coaches Clinic the week Mack’s mother passed away. He was there the day after he buried his mother. I was a complete stranger to him. Nonetheless, he chatted with with me, slapped me on the back, and made me feel like the most important guy in the room.
I couldn’t even fathom showing up to a function like that after my mom died let alone smile for schmucks like me.
by hg03 on Sep 17, 2010 10:25 AM CDT reply actions
I thought this piece was pretty awesome. There is so much that goes into what you see on Saturday. All that process stuff was very interesting to me as a management illustration.
Also I would say over the last five plus years Texas is the toughest out in football. Thats not an accident.
I run a fairly complex business and I wish a ran it anywhere near as well as Mack runs his.
Mack shows you can be a hardass but you dont have to be a dick. I am looking at you Bo Pelini, you fucking ape.
by bullzak on Sep 17, 2010 10:40 AM CDT reply actions
“It’s important that you do what the defense tells you to do.”
a) First line of Simon Says type of game
b) Defense as respected elder or Southern White Man circa 1850
c) Aaron Humphrey gently cradling Kliff Kingsbury in 1999
d) Fucking Greg Davis
by Greg Davis' Minge on Sep 17, 2010 11:54 AM CDT reply actions
Texastough please write the rest of the story, that’s some gdam funny stuff there.
Scipio I havent seen an MNS film except 6S, so thanks for saving me the trip. Also great article on Mack. It is a good reminder of the many pain in the ass program complications we fans rarely acknowledge, or even know about.
I absolutely love Mack and don’t want him to leave, but I still think he babies these kids a little too much. Small example — thanking the players for handling the change of hotel venue in Houston so well. That’s one of those things you don’t even acknowledge to the kids. Sh*t happens, deal with it. Esp a last minute hotel change. It’s not like they slept outside reliant stadium in pup tents on 110 degree parking lot asphalt. It is Mack being overly supportive and encouraging and just a little… too much.
For some reason that little moment struck me in an otherwise treatise to the reason UT kicks so much ass right now.
by caseylex on Sep 17, 2010 12:00 PM CDT reply actions
During dinner, Brown quietly consoles cornerback Chykie Brown over the loss of his uncle Friday night — the coach didn’t hear about it until Sunday morning. He congratulates several freshmen on getting their first playing experience, asking each of them, “Did you have fun?” And he gives the business to Mike Davis when he sees him.
by Sailor Ripley on Sep 17, 2010 1:20 PM CDT reply actions
I told you not to put all of your money into beanie babies. Envy is an ugly color on you.
by lowery on Sep 17, 2010 2:26 PM CDT reply actions
“When he had to, Mack could put his foot up a player’s ass. He knew how to do it just right so that he could keep his foot up there all day.”
by The Republic on Sep 17, 2010 4:17 PM CDT reply actions
Great! I have been looking for something like this most of the week. I really wish that people would write more about this. Greatly appreciated
by In Wackerbarth on Sep 18, 2010 11:39 AM CDT reply actions
Anybody notice the amount of time GD spends with tapes/charts/film but fails to adjust? I would chalk this as a BEST example of working harder doesn’t mean you’re working smarter. Can someone look at the charts in the Offense’s room and make sure they are accurate?
by Greg Davis is a moron on Sep 19, 2010 8:26 PM CDT reply actions
Åker man till Wien så rekommenderar jag att man går och besöker Sigmund Freud Museet och självklart alla fina parker i Wien.
by Lipizzaner hästar on Sep 28, 2010 1:10 PM CDT reply actions
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