Fantasy Football Destroys Everything It Touches

You and DeSean Jackson are like pit bulls, ready to get out of the cage.

Finally joined a fantasy football league after years of having to hear friends talking about it. I start the entire Dallas Cowboy roster every week; the sad thing is my fantasy team had more wins than Wade did.

Mostly though I prefer wagering on games if I want to make them more interesting. Its more of an intellectual challenge, and I feel a little worried obsessing about another man’s stats, especially considering how little those stats correlate with winning, particularly in baseball and basketball.

I have nothing to complain about. This is my first season of fantasy football, and I’ve lead my office league all season. My opponent was starting Vick this week, but I squeezed out a win by less than a point. I dedicated my win to the honor of puppies everywhere.

I owe my success to consistent and strong performances from several former ‘Horns. I’ve had Colt, Vince, Shipley, Michael Griffin, Earl Thomas, Jermichael Finley, Roy Williams, and Jamaal Charles at some point on my roster.

Early on, my coworkers were quick to offer my friendly tips as I’m the only female in the league. Around week 8 they finally figured out they were being hustled. I plan to use their money to buy myself something pretty.

I’m another Vick victim.

I was a Vick beneficiary.
 
My QBs are Roethlisberger and Vick.
 
Yeah, that’s right. When it’s a pay league, my morality goes straight out the window.

Got the Vick buzzsaw this week. Luckily won my other two leagues. Unluckily, I sit at about 8th place in all of ‘em. It’s too much about luck.

By the way, CFB fantasy is a reality. I wouldn’t advise getting sucked in.

Another Vick survivor here. My opponent had Vick, Cooley, and Gano (Skins kicker) going into Monday night. Fortunately, I had built an obscene 104 point lead, thanks mostly to the fantasy goldmine that was the Chiefs-Broncos. I had Orton, Moreno, and Bowe.

Also got hilariously lucky throwing in Mike Thomas for WR’s on a bye week. That hail mary catch alone got me like 11 pts.

The only thing more fun than enjoying the best QB fantasty performance in decades was ruining for the other guy. Mwahaha!

lost cuz of vick. leader in my 2 leagues tho. doesnt make up for coaching a 2-8 hs team and being a die hard texas fan this year. oh well.

and college football fantasy does exist. just not on a wide scale.

my buddies had to make a bcs only schools cuz i ran a train with guys like Michael Desormeaux and Kevin Smith and Matt Forte.

my name is pat. and im a freakin loser.

I had Vick and Maclin, so I did fairly well and turned a close game into a blow out. I’m one of the guys in the camp that is over the dumb shit Vick did, thinks he did his time and I’ve moved past it. Plus the dude looks better in a football uniform than anybody in the game and I’m not a huge animal guy. I was surprised to hear all the sports talk people bashing him (namely Chip Brown).

I’m only bashing him BECAUSE HE DESTROYED MY 40 (!) POINT LEAD. And it so happens that when you want to bash Ron Mexico, you have some uniquely effective options.

Also the tie of HenryJames’ favorite Ladytron song.

*title. Stupid iPhone

I’m a Redskins fan and the reality is much worse than fantasy. It was like watching Tom Brady on steroids …

I’m an Eagles fan starting Lesean McCoy and I was going against Vick and Maclin. Started the night up 55, lost by 11, despite putting up an obscene amount of points. But loved watching Vick shred rat face and the Skins.

Fantasy football causes more internal conflicts than magnusbleuveigner cruising through a middle school playground.

EyesofTx has played in college fantasy leagues since the mid 80’s or something.

You know I’m not allowed on middle school playgrounds. Neighborhood parks is where it’s at.

That’s one of the few things I’ve ever typed that made me squirm.

When VY was coming out, I told my boys one day a QB is going to come along that throws like Brady and runs like Vick. Obviously I was hoping it would be VY. Monday night was view into some next level shit.

D. Jackson is sick too. I like him for two reasons. One, he spurned USC. Two, right before he returned that punt against Tenny in college, I told a room full of people that he was a bad dude. When he housed it in front of trees filled with hippies I received numerous hand shakes and attaboys. Guys were making my drinks the whole night and grilling me steak after steak. Women were taking their turns on me right and left……Well actually I think I heard some dude in the back mumble, “you called it.” That’s enough for me.

God enjoys screwing with dudes who waste their time on imaginary games that require no actual skill and take five agonizing months to complete.

This is in Psalms, actually.

The Traci War Lords blew up this week. Hot Roddy White and my sleeper picks of Mike Wallace and Moreno are starting to pay off. I’m a formidable playoff team with those guys and MJD. If Addai would just get back on the field, I might have a chance to win. I’ve also got Crabtree and Amendola, who I’ve been rotating at flex for nostalgia purposes.

Reason #13,352 to love college football: NO FANTASY LEAGUES.

Dude you are so behind the times. Thanks to Colin Kaepernick I AM ROCKING my league.

I’m in a big money league ($250 per entry, cheap bitches! …side note, I have a teammate, so it only set me back $125) – and we are now in first place. We don’t have Vick, but we picked up Orton in about week 5…that guys is a stud.

Oh, and in the league I have Vick in…I was on a bye.

I played for a couple of years when this was new, in the mid-‘80s. I stopped pretty much for the OP’s reason… I decided I’d rather watch the games for the games than manufacture a reason to care.

This also allowed me to pretty much give up caring about the NFL and the NBA. I keep up, but it’s much better.

This year I took Roethlisberger in the 10th round solely so I could name my team Therapists for $400 Please Alex.

An inappropriate team name is one of the simple pleasures in life. My all-time fave was Carruth, Carruth, Carruth Is On Fire.

Fantasy football is the absolutely bane of my existence. I had a bit of a lead and Maclin in the game and Vick totally screwed me. Now, I gotta win out to make the playoffs…

I play with a bunch of blue collar simpletons. But, the thing is that all of them spend all freakin’ summer reading up, getting ready and shit like that. I don’t have that kind of freakin’ time. The gals in my life just won’t have it, ya know? Also, all of these dudes except for me and my brother in law are like in 3 or 4 leagues and just eat, sleep and shit this stuff.

Needless to say, they relieve me of like $300 every fall like clockwork. I guess it’s kind of like a ritual to them. They are a pretty good crew of homeys and that’s the ONLY damn reason I mess around with this bullshit. I could have a HELL of a lot more fun with that dough than I’m having. The kicker is that wifey absolutely hates it and constantly chisels money out of my wallet by guilt tripping me over the money I dump on this crap!

Fantasy football is a big bowl of wrong!

@nobis60: same here, but i went with “Titsburgh Feelers”.

Last year, my inappropriate team name was “2 Vicks, 1 Pup”. Your Carruth still wins, imo.

Someone above already touched on it but if you ever do enter a college fantasy league, draft exclusively MAC and Conference USA players and you will absolutely roll in your league. Usually the other guys will be jockeying for position to get Ryan Mallett type players and you can get MAC QBs that put up 500 yards and 5 TD per game in the sixth round. My NFL fantasy league ran a side CFB league for one year a few years ago and disbanded it after I went undefeated with an average margin of victory over 35 points. Tebow in the first huh? I’ll take whomever is starting for Houston in the 8th.

I definitely dig the inappropriate names aspect. Case in point, my username on ESPN is Tapp Datazz., who in turn is registered as Long Duc Dong. My teams have been the Bootknockers, Candyasses and 210 Bootknockers this year. This other homeboy in the league used to be The Flying Assholes, which I thought was pretty cool, but ESPN wouldn’t let him enter it that way this year. That’s really about the only good thing I can say about the scourge that is fantasy football.

BTW, most of the dudes are talking about getting shirts and shit made up next year…SERENITY NOW!!!

When the Cowboys were playing the Giants a few weeks ago (Cowboy Lap Dance Game), I needed Steve Smith to have a huge game and Roy Williams to suck.

When Tony Romo went down, I figured the game was a goner and BOOM I was cheering for the Giants! On that last drive, Kitna threw to Roy Williams three times in the red zone and I was yelling for him to drop it everytime.

I take solice in the fact it was a junk TDand the Cowboys had no chacne of winning. But any game that gets me pulling for the Cowboys to get beat is the devil.

dedfischer would be playing in a league where Moreno and Mike Wallace are considered sleepers. But I can’t really talk considering I was just offered Tom Brady or Big Ben for the Eagles D.

Now the Timid Puppies cannot be stopped.

There were bigger names available when I took them. I play in the North American More Breasts & Legs Association league. NAMBLA for short. You should google that at work, Vasher.

I hate fantasy football b/c tickers that used to take 1 minute to go through the entire slate of a league’s games now take 45 minutes b/c they have to flash stats for 12 different players on each game.

Long Dong Horns rule!

I tried it back in 1999- my backfield consisted of Ricky and Priest. I knew Priest was a total badass that was undervalued but missed Priest’s breakout season by a couple of years.

It soon became obvious to me that my love of Texas football and its football playing alums made me unable to exercise the cold hard calculations required to run a fantasy team. That, plus the fact that I don’t really like pro football that much, led me to give it up.

Fantasy football = Dungeons & Dragons for ex-jocks.

I went into Monday ahead 258-110 and my opponent had Vick and McCoy and was project edto score 223, which I thought was a reach. I didn’t bother watching the game, but when I went to check on how bad I’d beaten the guy before going to bed, I was shocked to find I had nearly lost. Vick got 112 and McCoy got 31, giving him a final score of 253. I felt sorry for him until I checked some the shit he had posted on our Matchup Smackboard in the first half and third quarter.

I’m glad I don’t have to play him again. If Fred Taylor hadn’t gone batshit crazy for me, I’d have lost. There is little rhyme or reason to it, but it keeps me off the streets.

I played fantasy football & baseball for two seasons back in the late eighties. Yes, I said it.

The drafts were done on a chalkboard, and the commish tabulated the weekly results from the newspaper and faxed the standings to everyone.

Scipio – I’m in one family league with those same two quarterbacks… I feel a little dirty, but I’ve scored over a hundred points more than the next closest team, since I was lucky enough to land Gore, Foster, Roddy White and Antonio Gates – who I pretend in my heart spend all their spare time helping widows and orphans just to make up for my QBs…

In my other league, I went into Monday night down by 30 with Vick and Maclin still to go, so I thought I had a chance anyway… turned out not to be a nailbiter after all.

I did one thing this year that has turned out to be kinda fun: Got in a generic public league on ESPN and drafted all — and only — ex-Longhorns.

My goal was simply to win a couple games, and in fact I’ve already done that. (Nearly got 3; lost one of the games by 1 point.)

Charles and to a slightly lesser extent Benson of course are the primary components, but the surprise ascension of Colt has usually meant that between either him or VY, I can get respectable if not spectacular points from the QB position. The loss of Finley early on was a huge blow, obviously, but not as bad as it could’ve been with both Scaife and Thomas bringing at least something to the table. Roy’s early-season success was a huge unexpected benefit, and even Jordan has chipped in decently on a couple of weeks. Phil Dawson is not a big-number guy but is rock-steady. Ricky’s been kind of a disappointment but that was probably inevitable. Defense is tricky; I limit it to teams with at least 2 Longhorns, and that has provided me with some decent options (Vikings, Bucs, Raiders). Maybe could’ve/should’ve done this in a league where you can draft specific defensive players.

What would be interesting, but hard to organize, would be a league consisting of similar opponents — every team composed entirely of alumnae of a single school. There’s probably only about 10 teams at most with enough former players in the league to pull it off, but that’s all you’d need for a reasonable FF-setup. I’d be curious to see who would actually fare best in such a format. My inclination is that USC would be a likely frontrunner, but it’s hard to know for sure. One thing about the Horns — an encouraging thing, for sure — is that I think it’s only very recently that we’ve got enough of an NFL presence (especially in the offensive skill-positions) to have a viable lineup. But it’s good enough now to where I actually won 2 games with it. Scored 90-something points in one of the weeks, even.

Howdy very cool website!! Guy .. Beautiful .. Wonderful .. I’ll bookmark your web site and take the feeds additionally?I’m glad to seek out so many useful information here within the put up, we need develop more strategies in this regard, thank you for sharing. . . . . .