Will Muschamp: The Elephant in the Room

A number of disciples went to the Buddha and said, "Sir, there are many wandering hermits and scholars who indulge in constant dispute, some saying that the world is infinite and eternal and others that it is finite and not eternal, some saying that the soul dies with the body and others that it lives on forever, and so forth. What, Sir, would you say concerning them?"

The Buddha answered, "Once upon a time there was a certain raja who called to his servant and said, 'Come, good fellow, go and gather together in one place all the men of Savatthi who were born blind... and show them an elephant.' 'Very good, sire,' replied the servant, and he did as he was told.

He said to the blind men assembled there, 'Here is an elephant,' and to one man he presented the head of the elephant, to another its ears, to another a tusk, to another the trunk, the foot, back, tail, and tuft of the tail, saying to each one that that was the elephant.

"When the blind men had felt the elephant, the raja went to each of them and said to each, 'Well, blind man, have you seen the elephant? Tell me, what sort of thing is an elephant?'

"Thereupon the men who were presented with the head answered, 'Sire, an elephant is like a pot.' And the men who had observed the ear replied, 'An elephant is like a winnowing basket.'

Those who had been presented with a tusk said it was a ploughshare. Those who knew only the trunk said it was a plough; others said the body was a grainery; the foot, a pillar; the back, a mortar; the tail, a pestle, the tuft of the tail, a brush.

"Then they began to quarrel, shouting, 'Yes it is!' 'No, it is not!' 'An elephant is not that!' 'Yes, it's like that!' and so on, till they came to blows over the matter.

Over the past 24 hours the Elephant that is Texas football has been examined every way possible, And lots of blind men are letting their voices be heard.

Andy Staples of Sports Illustrated thinks Florida's hiring Will Muschamp away from Texas was a bold and intelligent move.

Meanwhile, Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel wants to know why Will Muschamp was the only coach Jeremy Foley interviewed.

Kirk Bohls of the Austin American-Statesman thinks that looking back, maybe that whole Head-Coach-in-Waiting thing wasn't such a good idea.

Internet sites -- including our very own BC -- have taken on the look of a convention of Bipolar/ADDHD/Schizophrenics.

Richard Justice of the Houston Chronicle would like everyone to calm down, and that Texas fans who thought Brown should step aside to allow Muschamp to take over are absolutely nuts.

My personal choice as the new Texas Defensive Coordinator.

"Brethren, the raja was delighted with the scene.

"Just so are these preachers and scholars holding various views blind and unseeing.... In their ignorance they are by nature quarrelsome, wrangling, and disputatious, each maintaining reality is thus and thus."

Then the Exalted One rendered this meaning by uttering this verse of uplift,

O how they cling and wrangle, some who claim
For preacher and monk the honored name!
For, quarreling, each to his view they cling.
Such folk see only one side of a thing.

So sit back, take a deep breath, hell take several deep breaths, and always remember that we here at Barking Carnival are working hard to be your one-stop information center.

Why Barking Carnival?

Because in the Land of the Blind, The One-Eyed Man is King.