Busier than an...

by BrickHorn on Mar 11, 2011 10:36 AM CST

...Anthony Robles. That's my new down-homey cliche of choice.

In the past, when someone asked me how I've been, and if I happened to have been unusually busy, I would respond "I've been as busy as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest." Polite laughter was sure to follow.

For years, I've wanted to cut out all of the abstraction and incorporate a real-life one-legged ass-kicking contest participant in my witty preconceived-response repertoire. Alas, there was no such one-legged ass-kicker available.

...until now.

Allow me to introduce you to Anthony Robles, two-time All American collegiate wrestler from Arizona State. Anthony is currently ranked #1 in the nation in his weight class, and is a favorite in the upcoming national championship tournament. And he's done all of this without his right leg, which he bravely had surgically removed to help him cut weight for a meet.

Okay, that's a lie. I only said that because Sailor Ripley threatened to cut off one of my nephew's fingers for each day I don't break a college athletics scandal story, Charles Robinson style. Sorry, Petey. I blame myself for you never learning to count past 6.

The reality is that Robles just happens to be a total badass who overcame a handicap he's had since birth to become one of the nation's best wrestlers. Pretty impressive, right?

So, what do our resident collegiate wrestling enthusiasts think about Robles's chances at nationals? More importantly, could he take Ric Flair in a best-two-out-of-three Texas Strap Match?

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Wooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by Wyatt on Mar 11, 2011 10:38 AM CST reply actions

Sweep the leg!!!!

by stuckinmn on Mar 11, 2011 10:49 AM CST reply actions

I’m guessing the mid-west contingent would know best. This is fascinating for a couple reasons. Does he have a technical advantage? Is he at an advantage b/c he’s proportioned with more upper body weight? I wonder what Iowans have to say after losing to him.

He’s damn impressive, that’s for sure.

by ultralight on Mar 11, 2011 11:24 AM CST reply actions

Does he have a technical advantage? Is he at an advantage b/c he’s proportioned with more upper body weight?

I wondered this myself, and followed that thought to its logical conclusion: the ideal wrestler would have no legs and only one, enormously powerful arm.

by BrickHorn on Mar 11, 2011 11:29 AM CST reply actions

This definitely qualifies as an Uncategorized Article.

by Vasherized on Mar 11, 2011 11:29 AM CST reply actions

I intended to categorize it under “Athletic Uniforms that are in Vasherized’s Weekend Wardrobe,” but that category was removed by the new editor.

by BrickHorn on Mar 11, 2011 11:32 AM CST reply actions

" the ideal wrestler would have no legs and only one, enormously powerful arm."

Can’t do a figure 4 leg-lock with only 1 leg.

by Horncasting on Mar 11, 2011 12:03 PM CST reply actions

Vash understandably bought off the editor after that unfortunate UCLA cheerleader outfit flap.

I still can’t unsee what I saw that day.

by magnusbleuveigner on Mar 11, 2011 12:06 PM CST reply actions

Can’t do a figure 4 leg-lock with only 1 leg.

Back brain kick, imo.

by Fighter Hayabusa on Mar 11, 2011 12:07 PM CST reply actions

by Vasherized on Mar 11, 2011 12:10 PM CST reply actions

I could have been a great wrestler, but was hampered by my enormous “3rd” leg so I have to agree that the fewer legs you have, the more advantage…..in wrestling.

by Texoz on Mar 11, 2011 12:13 PM CST reply actions

Swinging neck breaker, ftw.

This needs a Heather Mills tag, for some reason.

by magnusbleuveigner on Mar 11, 2011 12:18 PM CST reply actions

I wrestled in high school, and Skyline High in Dallas had a legless wrestler. Dude had the upper body of a 189 class guy and wrestled 119. Legs are heavy evidently.

Not to mention it was difficult for the ref to score, or for the opposing wrestler to record a “take-down.” The guy was already down. He also had awesome dreadlocks, which is not really relevant but made the whole thing that much more surreal. He was a very successful wrestler, and something tells me he didn’t come up through Skyline’s excellent youth wrestling pogram.

So +1 for “technical advantage.”

by Tubin' on Mar 11, 2011 12:40 PM CST reply actions

I saw this kid wrestle when ASU came to Stillwater. Was one of the creepier things I’ve ever seen in sports. This kids at a pretty big advantage. As Tubin said no Legs means no take downs and no legs means you can pile more weight into the upper body. It shocking how much bigger he is than the guys he wrestles.

He just sort of scoots around on the stump using the leg to slide along.

I had a picture of this kid while wrestling but I guess I cleared my phone out.

by ibas on Mar 11, 2011 5:26 PM CST reply actions

Minor detail: He won but we kicked ass as a team

by ibas on Mar 11, 2011 5:30 PM CST reply actions

I’ll not sleep well this night, thanks.

by Jigglebilly on Mar 11, 2011 7:55 PM CST reply actions

I always go with the “busier than a three-legged cat buryin’ shit on a frozen pond” myself.

by t1climb1 on Mar 12, 2011 10:16 AM CST reply actions

Hands down the shittiest punter I’ve ever seen, though.

Seriously, overcoming physical disadvantages is always inspirational.

For instance, I just read a sports column written by Jennifer Engel. It’s remarkable to me that she’s able to write these columns without a penis or a brain.

by Chooky on Mar 12, 2011 12:40 PM CST reply actions