2011 NFL Draft Review First Round

Classic Texans pick. What a worthless franchise.

Michael Irvin: WHOA HELL TEXANS BE TRIPPIN LIKE OLE UNCLE ROSS AT THE BBQ!

I like when former players talk about Kubiak and refer to him as “Gay-ray” like its a bad word.

So Mrs. Stoddard walks in and tells me she intends to get up and watch the royal wedding. I explain that I don’t see how anyone could watch that inbred freak show with people wearing bizarre clothes. Just then, Goodell announces the Prince draft selection. She looks at me, says “uh huh” and walks out. Doh!

Denver couldn’t stop the run last year against anybody.

Although I love Von Miller, Dareus was the better pick to fill their biggest need — strengthening the interior D. Yeah, they need passrushers too but freak DTs are a more precious commodity.

And this guy is like 7 feet, 500 pounds or some shit.

Denver isn’t a 3-4 team with John Fox at the helm. Dareus was the better pick for them, as the Philly fan above me stated.

Basically you’re wasting Miller on non passing downs now by dropping him in coverage. I think his value as a 43 guy is around 15-20. It’’s a bad schematic fit.

But Denver fan should be happy. In Elway they have a guy that was surprised to find out that upscale laundromats wasn’t a lucrative business plan.

“Basically you’re wasting Miller on non passing downs now by dropping him in coverage.”

Ok, well that doesn’t make any sense….but you get my point. He’s going to be off the line of scrimmage now and will be reactionary which negates that ungodly first step.

I can’t for the life of me figure out why dedfischer thinks the guy is a bust.

As for the Texans, taking a 3-4 DE is the equivalent of taking a guard when you need a tackle, yet the rubes on the radio are shouting from the top of Reliant, “I BET YOU HAVEN’T SEEN WATT PLAY!!” What a joke of a franchise.

I’m a Niner fan, so now I get to see if Aldon Smith truly is a player. I bet Davey O’Brien would take him over JJ.

“What a worthless franchise.”

Yep.

I’m not really sold on Solder, but that’s what everyone was saying last year about McCourty. Getting a 1st next year and 56 this year for 28 was outstanding. Patriots have three second rounders, though it would be neat if Belichick rapes some Andy Dalton fan for the 33rd pick.

Magnus,

Watt is a good football player and I think in the end he will be a very good 5-technique in a 3-4. He is also stereotypical for them as he is said to be a high character guy, busts his ass, and will earn every penny of Bob McNair’s money. in short the antithesis of every other defensive linemen they have drafted during their existence. So they drafted a newer, bigger version of Seth Payne or something in the back of my head keeps wondering how a former tight-end got that big and strong in that short a period. Ah, yes, his work ethic. Haven’t Texans heard that before?

Only problem with the pick is that they already have a shitload of money tied up at that position in Smith and Williams so in effect you are drafting a back-up for this year on a defense that has holes at every freaking position except 5-technique. They could have gone nose, outside linebacker, inside linebacker, safety, and corner and would have gotten a starter to help out a bad defense and instead they add depth.

My two favorite lines of reasoning I have heard or read is:

1) We will just trade Antonio Smith because he doesn’t want to play in Wade’s defense. Brilliant except that does anyone trust Rick Smith not to get fucked in a deal with a real GM and when will this trade take place since their is no CBA.

2) Mario can play some OLB. Perfect, the biggest knock on him physically is that while he is big, strong, and fast he really is that fluid an athlete and is not going to be confused with Julius Peppers.

I am just waiting in the next rounds when they take a tight end and some kid from CSU.

Winners:

Denver – Get the best player in the draft. Will be a fast learner and I won’t be surprised, if they drop him down to DE on passing downs. I doubt the cumulative GPA of Dareus, Jones and Ingram exceeds Miller’s.

Cincy – A.J. Green is a nice, safe pick, who will polish up quickly.

San Fran – Seems the consensus is OLB. Possibly, but Smith’s athleticism is overrated for the position. Super-human strength and huge frame never seem to be mentioned. Could be a revolutionary 3-4 end, which is where I like him.

Detroit – Great value for Fairley, although it took 4 years to win a starting gig in college.

San Diego – Too Liuget to quit. Big fan of a huge motor guy with elite athleticism. However, I wasn’t expecting him to land on 3-4 team.

Kansas City – In my Baldwin viewings, it seemed I was watching Julio Jones on steroids with better hands and athleticism. Nailed this one in that new fantasy draft game.

Baltimore – Great fit for a headcase with more fluidity in a phone booth than Peterson. Smith will thrive with some alpha dogs showing him the ropes of professionalism.

New Orleans – Wow. The Parcells prodigy child doesn’t screw up luck. How much better value is this Ingram pick than Bush at #1?

Pittsburgh – If LeBeau can make a player out of Ziggy Hood, then an uber-talented Heyward will develop quickly.

Losers:

Carolina – Should be a contender. For a BCS bid.

Atlanta – Did they watch any Julio Jones’ tape from college? Dropping 2 McElroy balls a game in college equates to 4 Ryan fastball drops a game and a ferris wheel gig.

Jacksonville – Gabbert was plagued by a pedestrian WR corps, but the couldn’t hit water from a boat joke applies here.

New England – More upside at the 4 position for the Celtics.

The Texans’ pass rush always has stunk, with or without Mario Williams. They need someone who can shorten the time they have to cover.

It appears they thought they were going to be able to get Aldon Smith.

I thought it was more interesting regarding their analysis of the position, rather than not taking a corner.

FWIW, I don’t get excited about the Texans or the NFL these days, so it wouldn’t matter to me if Reliant Stadium were consumed by a huge fireball;, except for the likely loss of the 2016 FF.

“The pick was announced by Cleveland RB Peyton Hillis, who credited Jesus for giving him the strength to announce the draft pick. The Jets fans then boo Jesus. Awesome.”

This would have been pretty awkward if the Browns had selected Mark Ingram.

Rick Smith hates black people.

Love the quotes (from a Dan Wetzel column this morning): Speaking of learning, Miller earned a minor in poultry science while in college, which won the award for most unexpected academic pursuit of a top five NFL draft pick. The A&M Poultry Science Department "has research emphases [sic] in poultry management, environmental stewardship, product quality and safety," according to its website. The department also has a slogan: "We’re Crowing!"

(Texas A&M also produced 2007 NBA draftee, Acie Law who majored in agricultural leadership. What’s that entail? "It’s a wide open field," Law said then, no pun intended.)

The A&M football program is a Pilgrim’s Pride talent factory. Not only do they offer intangible qualities such as the mystique of the 12th Man, but an opportunity for a chicken shit degree in the experience.

Lot of good defensive tackles in this draft. Von Miller was a no brainer.

Of course had Denver known Bowers might be there in the second round they might have done it differently….

How much better value is this Ingram pick than Bush at #1?

Because it’s generally retarded to use a high pick on a RB, a very fungible position group. And unless we’re talking about an Adrian Peterson type talent, I’d say that extends all of the way through the first round. I’m very pleased with how that trade worked out for the Patriots.

I’d like to think that the Texans didn’t totally piss away their pick on Watt given that Wade Phillips is actually a pretty good DC. But I agree with Davey – why another 5-tech when there were other, more pressing needs? Watt would be a solid pick if Smith & Edwards weren’t already on-board and well-suited to play that position.

If they end up with a good outside pass-rusher or CB (Aaron Williams is still available), then it may turn out OK.

Good news for the fightin’ Detroits: nobody will be able to run on them.

Bad news: if you have Aaron Rodgers at QB you can gash defenses without running the ball at all.

Jake Locker is one of those picks that gets people fired. All the measureables but just cant fucking play football. The Mike Mamula of QBs.

Of course Locker is the anti Vince, he has never won shit. If this guy turns into a serviceable player I will be shocked.

Spastic, this was from Bruce Feldman’s Twitter last night. Hilarious:

Talked to Von abt school last yr. Thought he said he was majoring in poetry. Always been into poetry? “Nah, I said, POULTRY. U know chicken”

nordberg -

Good point – I wish Marc Colombo had gotten to announce the Tyron Smith pick. I think that would be a great innovation for future drafts – cut to a live shot of the guy on each team that their first round pick was selected to replace. Wouldn’t you have wanted to see Jimmy Clausen Cam or a shot of David Garrard shattering the glass coffee table in his living room?

I thought I could get away with perusing this article on my phone during our Friday staff meeting, but I had to fake a sneezing attack after reading Michael Irvin’s thoughts on the Ryan Kerrigan selection.

… and one of the NFL Network talking heads just said Locker is a better runner than VY.

Damn, I wish I had watched more of Locker’s games because he must have really been something … or not.

Vince Young wearing ski boots is a better runner than Jake Locker.

Some potential Irvin quotes for the second round and beyond:

Andy Dalton – THE BLACK AFOLETE HATES THE GINGER BY INSTINCK BUT JASON GARRET THREW ME RAINBOW BALLS AGAINST GREEN BAY SO IT CAN MAYBE WORK

Da’Quan Bowers – TEAMS SCARE OF HIS INJURY BUT MY BOY ERIK WILLIAMS TORE HIS KNEE UP AND COULD STILL PICK UP A STRIPPER BY THE THROAT WITH EACH HAND SO GET WELL BIG FELLA

Ryan Mallet – ANY TIME A WHITE BOY TRIED TO ACT BLACK IN THA LOCKER ROOM CHARLES HALEY COCKSLAP HIM TIL HE WEEP

Marvin Austin – ONCE DURING A ORGY ON THE COWBOYS CHARTER ALVIN HARPER THREW TWO BITCHES OUT THE PLANE LIKE THEY WAS D.B. COOPER

Dedi, you must not have watched the Mizzou/A&M game last year. Blaine didn’t miss in that game.

“He’s basically a cross between Tracy Morgan and Winston Churchill. "

“Talked to Von abt school last yr. Thought he said he was majoring in poetry. Always been into poetry? "Nah, I said, POULTRY. U know chicken"

racist imo

Locker was 15-25 as a starter.

Has anyone ever won 38% of their college starts and then become a good NFL QB?

Not really.

From a personnel standpoint the broncos pick was a bit perplexing. They already have one 3-4 outside linebacker who isn’t particularly tough against the run in Elvis Dumerville. But, imo Von Miller is the most explosive playmaker on the defensive side of the ball in the draft. Certainly the most explosive player in the front seven.

I wasn’t particularly impressed with any of the D tackles for a number 2 pick. I wonder if the broncos may decide to stick with a 3-4, given the lack of off season prep time and their limited ability to trade.

You guys are so far off on the Texans’ pick.

If you can’t fnd value at corner at No. 11, you go pass rush. Particularly since Mario Williams is likely gone after 2012. Prince Amakamura is an early second round pick in a typical NFL draft. If there is any fault to be found at the 11th pick, it was in not taking Fairley or Jimmy Smith (whom is a better corner than Prince); but, both have plenty of questions regarding attitude, work ethic, etc. So, I don’t blame them. Watt was the safe pick.

I personally would have traded down once Miller, Peterson and A. Smith were taken, but they may have tried to do so. I don’t know. A lot of teams were trying to trade down yesterday.

They’ll come back today in the second and get a corner just as good as Amakamura. The next two rounds will offer them a good opportunity to address the secondary as there is plenty of depth. Aaron Williams is a pipe dream, but there are at least six guys bunched up right there that they may have a choice from.

Kilgore, I was there in Lubbock against Tech’s secondary.

I put on a light blue shirt and I look like a dick.

You’re not completing your ensemble right:

http://varsityvests.com/texaslonghornsorangepre-tiedbowtiewithwhitelonghornlogo.aspx

Dhani Jones approves.

I put on a light blue shirt and I look like a dick

Shave head, switch to pink lycra T… much more authentic, prolly.

I never said Watt wasn’t a good prospect, but for a franchise that pretty much needs to me the play-offs this year or Smith and Kubiak are gone it was a very noble decision to draft for the next coaching staff.

5-techniques primary role in the 3-4 is to collapse the pocket, but who do the Texans have at OLB to rush the passer? As Magnus pointed out Barwin is recovering from a bad, bad injury last year and since Cushing has “recovered” from his over-training syndrome he hasn’t been as effective.

It is possible they can add players in the next two days, but this is a franchise they has only had one truly good draft in its history (2006), Rick Smith has yet to show he knows how to build a club, and they haven’t exactly done well in free agency.

I watched the entire first round and by 11p.m. I had forgotten most of the names.

How is Chris Berman on TV? He’s become a caricature of himself and by all accounts is a total dick.

Glad The Browns decided not to get Colt help in the first round. Morons.

The Texans owner must be a complete good ol boy idiot then if Rick Smith is this incompetent, everyone in the league knows, and he continues to handle the teams drafts….then again, it is the Texans.

Indy wasted their pick on a guy who would rather be an architect.

“Vince Young wearing ski boots is a better runner than Jake Locker.”

Shit, VY wearing SKIS still edges him out. I liked Locker as a freshman. Since then he has been an average QB. I love the rationalizations I saw today that it’s not a stretch since last year he would have been the #1 overall pick. His career path basically mirrored Reggie McNeil’s, but somehow managed to continue to get the hype.

“Indy wasted their pick on a guy who would rather be an architect.”

Anyone who would rather be an architect than play in the NFL has a seriously questionable hold on reality.

The more Michael Irvin, the better – on this site and elsewhere. The scissors line for Jimmy Smith was great, Scipio. The description of him peppering wisdom with inanities is spot on, too. Seems like most people have dismissed him because of how ridiculous his delivery and general persona can be, but he has some interesting things to say from time to time.

I’ll echo KilgoreTrout’s comment about Gabbert against A&M. He made a number of incredibly precise throws in that game. It was “How did he get that ball in there?” over and over, and his WRs kept bringing them in. Had to drive Aggie fans crazy.

The ESPN coverage was improved by just having Gruden and Kiper with Berman, in my opinion. I could be remembering wrong, but didn’t they have like 6 guys at the desk last year? Or maybe that’s how they do it for later rounds? Either way, I don’t need to hear all those dudes’ opinions. I can see how Gruden’s basic refusal to criticize anything would irritate some people, but I enjoy his enthusiasm and he does a great job of presenting a lot of info without wasting words. Kiper is Kiper and Boomer is Boomer.

As a Cowboys fan, I liked their pick. Hopefully Jerry won’t force Ryan Mallett on me.

“Anyone who would rather be an architect than play in the NFL has a seriously questionable hold on reality.”

Art Vandelay IMO

wait, i knew the texans had a terrible secondary, but since when did the texans have a good pass rush? i wasn’t thrilled with the pick, but it wasn’t exactly a terrible pick, especially if they didn’t value the DB’s on the board of being worth the #11 pick. they reached in 2010 and shot themselves in the foot, it looked like they didn’t want to repeat that this year.

besides, the texans have needs a lot of needs on defense, not just their secondary. i’m a texans fan, but even i’m not going to say that we’re “one pick” away from an 11-5 season…

So the Texan defense of the draft pick is that the corners in this draft are overrated even if four of them represent upgrades over the current starters? Ai’ght. I guess that’s how you keep hope alive. Drafting JJ Babin should work out nicely.
 
magnus -
 
Thanks for the correction on Denver’s D. I assumed they were sticking with the 3-4, but I’m guessing they go multiple fronts with Von Miller in an Orakpo role.
 
I still like Miller a lot and there are tons of serviceable DL still left to be drafted.
 
Bobby Time -
 
Yeah, I’m being sincere when I mention Irvin’s wisdom. He gets human psychology and he actually has very interesting things to say about team dynamics and what makes people tick. He just peppers it with hilarious babble. He’s the wise old man in the barbershop.
 
nobis60 -
 
Great job. The Ryan Mallet comment made me laugh.
 
parlin -
 
I’m more of a western bolo tie kind of guy.

“No upside to questioning a Steeler draft pick, is there?”

Not really. Attending the Combine last year and listening to all the GMs talk, Colbert was far and away the most insightful.

Colbert’s last 11 first-round picks: Plaxico Burress (8th Overall), Casey Hampton (19th Overall), Kendall Simmons (30th Overall), Troy Polamalu (16th Overall), Ben Roethlisberger (11th Overall), Heath Miller (30th Overall), Santonio Holmes (25th Overall), Lawrence Timmons (15th Overall), Rashard Mendenhall (23rd Overall), Ziggy Hood (32nd Overall), Maurkice Pouncey (18th Overall).

And he nabbed Mike Wallace in the 3rd round and Lamarr Woodley in the 2nd. There’s a reason the Steelers rarely sign players to keep them from becoming free agents. They restock through the draft as well as anyone.

"Anyone who would rather be an architect than play in the NFL has a seriously questionable hold on reality.

Art Vandelay IMO"

Latex salesman is also trending well. I especially like the 22nd pick.

nerf herder,

For the third time on this thread I will say again the selection of JJ Watt as a football player is not a bad thing. In fact he is a very good player and a very good prospect.

The issue is that the position that he plays is already manned by two high priced players and outside of Smith and William the only other players on that defense who aren’t at risk of being replaced by someone taken in the draft or free agency are Ryans and Cushings.

Kubiak has to get into the play-offs or he is gone. He should have been gone after this year and with him goes Rick Smith. The drafting of Watts to me smacks of the same arrogance we have seen from Smith and Kubiak as they refuse to adjust from their plan, their game plan, anythng in response to the world outside the magical world of Reliant Park.

“Irvin: PROTECT THAT TONY ROMERO OR HE WILL RECEIVE INJURY”

I personally would have gone with Tony Manero. Tyron Smith would be instructed to protect the hair.

Odds that picture is the first time Michael Irvin has ever made that face and there was no involvement with prostitutes or use of cocaine.

I know ripping on the Titans is fun and hating Jake Locker is fashionable, what with the ill-advised Heisman hype campaign the school put on, but a lot of the Locker haters sound like group-think loving ruh-tards.

A few things to consider:

—Locker played in a Wing-T offense in high school, where he won a lot of games and a State Championship. But it was not a sophisticated passing offense. Not in the least.
—His first three years at the UW, he had a terrible coaching staff, including an OC/QB coach who was a former running back and insisted on using Locker mostly as a single wing fullback.
—He missed the majority of his RS sophomore year with a broken thumb.
—He made massive progress as a passer in his first year under Sarkisian and Nussmeier. It was the first time he had been exposed to sophisticated passing offense and received solid QB coaching.
—At no time during his tenure at UW was the defense anything approaching “good”. Mostly, they were pretty awful. Having to try and carry an entire offense and defense on his back was a lot to ask and at times he tried to do too much, which got him in trouble periodically.
—The UW offensive line was wracked with injuries in his senior year. In addition, the TE position was in even more dire straights at UW than it was at Texas. That doesn’t exactly help a QB look good.
—His WRs dropped a shit load of catchable balls last season.
—Nobody who has spent any time around him says anything but great things about his character, work ethic and leadership abilities.
—He had a disappointing senior year, a mediocre Senior Bowl week, a pretty decent combine and an excellent pro-day workout. The guy is working on the right things and showing improvement. Given how little time he has spent running a pro-style offense, that seems like a pretty promising trend…that could continue.

So there you have it. A great leader and natural athlete who played on some bad to mediocre teams where he was asked to do everything. Does he need to improve a bunch to be a serviceable or better starter in the NFL? Absolutely. Most rookie QBs do.

I am not certain he’ll turn into a great NFL QB. I think it is possible, but it isn’t a lock. I do think Locker is a lot better pick at #8 than Cam Newton is at #1 though.

nobis:

Classic stuff, though I seriously doubt that Irvin knows who D.B. Cooper was (is?).

Scip,

Maybe this will be one of those drafts in which there are multiple rounds in which you can select players. Let’s see how they use their remaining picks. Maybe there’s an inherent danger in analyzing ONE round of the draft as if it encapsulates the team’s entire approach to the process.

I understand your logic, and I agree that our cornerbacks are terrible, but to think that this team is an 11 win team is an incredible overstatement. This team lost games in every way imaginable last season, getting better is going to be a long process. Besides, I can extend your logic regarding the corners on the board that were “upgrades over the current starters” to about 75% of the cornerbacks that will be selected in this draft. Joe Asshole out of Northwestern Minnesota Polytech is an upgrade over what we have at the moment. Right now, I’m just hoping Aaron Williams is still on the board when we pick.

The JJ Babin comment made me laugh, though.

Redmond -
 
Nice contrarian perspective on Locker. I think the guy can do some special things athletically, but he takes a lot of hopeful projection.
 
nerf herder -
 
You’re absolutely right. It’s just that the Texans have little leeway because we’ve walked down this road with them before. So we’re not cutting them any slack and being overly reactionary. Because they haven’t earned the right to be taken seriously as guys with a plan.
 
Why not trade down the pick and then load up in the 2nd and 3rd round with 4-5 defenders who have the chance to shore up your team?
 
I just feel like this is a team that’s RIGHT THERE. This is one of the few teams in the league that can drop 400 yards passing on you or 200 yards rushing depending on how you want to play them.
 
Get a defense that will turn people over and get some stops and a 3 win leap is not just speculative, it’s probable. Look at the division. It’s ripe for the taking.
 
I’m a Cowboys fan, so I’m not sure why I care so much, but there’s something cosmically about the Texans that irritates me. Like seeing a neighbor’s dripping faucet for years and years and finally just walking over there with a wrench and fixing it.

Redmond – I’m a closet Husky fan. My old man lives off 36th in Wallingford (ftw) and we typically heckle fans of other schools as they pass by. I also really enjoy watching Locker perform – especially two years ago when they beat USC. Hell all of Longhorn Nation was a fan of his that day as we watched the game from a tailgate before the Tech game. That crucial throw on fourth down against the Trojans was probably the best pass I saw that entire year, but….I just don’t see the consistency you would want out of a guy you’re taking 8th overall. Obviously they’re going to have to tailor the offense to his skills wrt moving the pocket. Having a nice run game paired with decent TE’s and a stud WR should expedite his growth curve.

I hope he does well. I talked to my dad yesterday (nothing is better than a man with a thick Swedish accent attempting to say Amukamara) and he was really hoping that the Seahawks would grab him.

Whose starting QB for the fighting Sarkisian’s next year? Montana?

Redmond, I’ve certainly always rooted for Locker, and occasionally been impressed… but I think what’s driving some of the negative commentary on the pick is that the team just dumped Vince Young. And I think even if Locker pans out, it will take a good while and a lot of development, and his ceiling is probably about what they already had in hand in Vince. If they try to pound Locker into the same round hole they used for their previous square peg, it’s doubtful he even reaches that ceiling.

Two quick things – One, you’re lucky Fisher is not there to do that pounding, because you can bet the hole would never get less round. And Two, unless the Titans have improved organizationally in a dramatic way, I feel your (upcoming) pain…

Redmond:

“In addition, the TE position was in even more dire straights at UW than it was at Texas.”

We had tight ends at Texas last year?

When you combine the fact that all 8 of our tight ends with talent had injuries and the other 12 tight ends were in Greg Davis’ offense I can’t even imagine a world where your statement could possibly be true.

If AW is still on the board when the Texans pick, I will still probably be screaming at the TV for the Cowboys being so stupid.

I give it a 50-50 chance.

Or the Bills will take him. =/ fuckity fuck.

roach:
Sad as it may be, it is true. The Huskies’ talented junior TE Kavario Middleton was kicked off the team and left school last summer, following one too many violations of team rules (ganja related, apparently). That left two scholarship TEs, one of whom was really just a slow WR, weighing in at 215 pounds. The presumptive starter after Middleton left was Chris Izbicki, a California guy who was considered talented when recruited, but never panned out. Not much of a worker and didn’t seem to like football much. He was pretty useless all year and ended up quitting the team before the bowl game.

Things got so bad in the TE department that by mid-season they had taken a walk-on guard and given him a TE’s number. He was the purest form of the “extra blocking surface” TE.

In terms of receiving production, the total for all TEs at UW last season was 6 catches for 47 yards.

magnus:

Likely to be Keith Price over Montana.

The Bobs:

Locker has probably more upside as a pure NFL passer than Vince does, due to arm strength and mechanics. On the other hand, I’ll readily acknowledge that he is a lot farther from realizing his potential now than Vince was when he left Texas.

“So the Texan defense of the draft pick is that the corners in this draft are overrated even if four of them represent upgrades over the current starters?”

No. The point is that one of the four corners you reference (and I counted six cornerbacks) would still be there in the second, which was the case. So, the Texans got a solid corner in the 2nd, that is not much of a drop off from Prince (if any), and a machine with the first pick that is going to outwork everyone on the field, is a solid pass rusher and one of the best DL prospects in the draft against the run- and because of that, is a very low risk to be a “bust.” As I also pointed out, Watt provides roster flexibility not just on the field but also in terms of future moves involving Mario Williams and Antonio Smith. Throw in Reed and this is a nice defensive draft.

It was a sad day in Dallas broadcasting when the Michael Irvin Show was cancelled. The Ticket guys still do a great Fake Michael Irvin bit, however.