Cliff Harris wants to take you on a joy ride

by Vasherized on Jun 13, 2011 11:24 PM CDT in Texas Longhorns and Other Football

Oregon safety Cliff Harris was clocked at 118 mph in a 65 mph zone.

At 4.32 a.m.

With an expired license.

In a rental car paid for by an Oregon booster.

It's only fair Cliff sends said University of Oregon enthusiast the $1,148 bill, right?

Chip Kelly comments:

"I've said from the beginning that it should be a privilege to play football at the University of Oregon. With that said, individuals must bear the responsibilities for their own behavior," Kelly said. "Once we have finished ~~shredding~~ collecting all the information in this situation, we will determine the appropriate action ..."

Actions may chosen from the following list:

1. Get proper instruction for Driving at Excessive Speeds at Oregon International Speedway, repeat flight from cops to prove competency.
2. 100 hours of community service - OR - clean Phil Knight's limousine fleet for a week.
3. Admit to teammates he finally got caught from behind, isn't 'fast as shit'.
4. Suspended for yet to be determined non-conference game in 2015 when eligibility has expired.
5. Lecture Eugene elementary school students on the the mantra of Oregon student athletes: Another Day, Another Dolla.

At least the school isn't denying it ever happened, which has been a preferred PR move from the quack braintrust in the past.

And it's not like Oregon would be losing a key player.

Here's Cliff "Kash" Harris' 13 minute highlight reel featuring the very mixtape that inspired shaggybevo's own in-house recording artist Derka Derka to grab a mic and hit the decks, yo.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6g7Qj3Fhk0

Fulmer points well earned, Cliff.

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Comments

Every time I read this story I think of the real Cliff Harris

by Drew Dunlevie on Jun 13, 2011 11:27 PM CDT reply actions

Huckleberry probably thought this post was about the other other Cliff Harris.

http://cliffski.com/

by Vasherized on Jun 13, 2011 11:42 PM CDT reply actions

It would have really been cool if Oregon’s Cliff Harris had Charlie Waters in the passenger seat.

by srr50 on Jun 14, 2011 8:31 AM CDT reply actions

In a normal year, the quackers from Eugene would have a tenuous lead for the Fulmer Cup. This is, of course, not a normal year. Auburn has that bitch on lockdown, and it’s a race for second place now.

by NateHeupel on Jun 14, 2011 8:40 AM CDT reply actions

That’s a very funny highlight reel.
Opening highlight:
Player drops interception.
Cut to:
Caption:
“Oregon vs Oregon State”
Shot:
Player just standing there, then waves arms to excite crowd.
Caption:
“Oregon vs Somebody”
Player jumps up and down between plays

Nigga not a hot mess.

by RomaVicta on Jun 14, 2011 9:17 AM CDT reply actions

Well I made it through the 5:30 mark of the video, but when they started to show the “spring game” I decided I’d seen enough of Cliff Harris’ stellar play. Here’s my unofficial stats breakdown of the highlights:

2 pass break ups
1 interception
1 50 yard kick off return (not scoring)
several shots of various forms of flexing, high fives, and strutting around.

This reminds me of pretty much every Saturday Night live skit. 30 seconds of actual material stretched into 10 minutes of pain.

by roach on Jun 14, 2011 11:02 AM CDT reply actions

Oregon now claiming to be unaware that the woman who rented the car for Harris was a university employee.

NCAA rule 16.12.2.3c states:

An institutional employee or representative of the institution’s athletics interests may not provide a student-athlete with extra benefits or services, including, but not limited to: The use of an automobile.

“So, I rented the car for my own purposes on Friday. Cliff Harris and his licensed friend, who showed me his license, asked to borrow it and paid me the full amount in cash that I paid for the rental,” said the woman, who agreed to speak to KEZI, on condition of anonymity.

The woman, who describes herself as a friend of Harris over the past few months, said she was unaware Cliff would be driving and also said she has proof that the amount she paid for the rental car matches two separte deposits she made into her bank account Friday.

“I do have a copy of my bank statement, showing two deposits Friday of $180 and $120.”

According to Hertz Vehicle Control, the Nissan Altima was rented Friday, June 10th and returned after business hours Sunday, June 12th at 10:44 p.m..
-——————-

Apparently it took six hours get the Altima up to 118…

by Vasherized on Jun 14, 2011 11:05 AM CDT reply actions

"So, I rented the car for my own purposes on Friday. Cliff Harris and his licensed friend, who showed me his license, asked to borrow it and paid me the full amount in cash that I paid for the rental,"

Rule #1 for the student-athlete — Straight Cash Homey

by srr50 on Jun 14, 2011 11:21 AM CDT reply actions

The thread on EDSBS is awesome. It had this among other humorous items:

by Drew Dunlevie on Jun 14, 2011 11:27 AM CDT reply actions

I’m pretty sure when you rent a car, they tell you your the only one that can drive it, I’m also pretty sure that if you’re not yet 25 there are pretty significant restrictions on car rental—as in good luck.

So if a booster rents a car for you to drive, even if you pay for it, isn’t that an extra benefit?

by roach on Jun 14, 2011 12:40 PM CDT reply actions

roach -

You’re correct. I can recall running into issues renting a car in my early 20s. There’s also a reason they ask you,“Will anyone else be driving this vehicle?” when you’re signing the paperwork.

This stinks to high heaven, but I don’t think anyone is particularly surprised. The Auburn vs. Oregon national title game was proof positive that cheating works.

by Scipio Tex on Jun 14, 2011 1:08 PM CDT reply actions

I don’t know guys, just the other day I rented a car from Enterprise, and then immediately handed it over to a college student, who then immediately paid me, in cash, for the full cost of the rental. Happens all the time, actually.

by nordberg on Jun 14, 2011 1:21 PM CDT reply actions