Boats N' Hoes, Hurricane Style
by nobis60 on Aug 17, 2011 10:16 AM CDT
Email
PrintBoats n’ Hoes
Huff, Doback and Shapiro
Prestige Worldwide/BC Records
(boats n' hoes, i gotta have me more boats and hoes!
boats n' hoes, boats n' hoes, i gotta have me more boats and hoes! x2)
The Titanic, Lusitania, the USS Maine
All minor league shit as I’m about to explain,
Some ships will sink if an iceberg they ram
But my ship’s gonna sink an entire program.
We’d sail up and down the Spanish Main
With my yacht as the eye of a Hoe-rricane!
(boats n' hoes, i gotta have me more boats and hoes!
boats n' hoes, boats n' hoes, i gotta have me more boats and hoes! x2)
My name is Nevin Shapiro, world-class leech
Came from the Jersey Shore down to South Beach
I stand five foot eight (with my platforms on)
A lot of folks call me the Lepre-con
I took jock sniffing to bloodhound proportions
Screw your hundred dollar handshakes – I’m buying abortions!
When I flashed my cash I was cool as Fonzi
Nobody cared that it was courtesy of Ponzi
Schemes, I got ‘em – 3-4, 4-3,
Got three hoes on all fours right in front of me.
(boats n' hoes, i gotta have me more boats and hoes!
boats n' hoes, boats n' hoes, i gotta have me more boats and hoes! x2)
Night clubs, strip clubs, mansions too
If you wear green and orange your balls’ll never be blue.
And if she’s knocked up after you bang her,
Here’s five bills – won’t need no coat hanger!
Just passin’ out bitches like Halloween candy
Had some for Mr. Shannon when he was feelin’ Randy
Dom, Cristal, just pop the cork
Who’ll take $300 extra to get under Wilfork?
I bought the finest hoes – none came cheap
And even Sebastian got to get Bills Deep
Most expensive bitch I ever had at a gala?
It took 50 G’s to pay off Donna Shalala!
(boats n' hoes, i gotta have me more boats and hoes!
boats n' hoes, boats n' hoes, i gotta have me more boats and hoes! x2)
So why did I bring shame to Hurricane Nation?
I just wanted us to ace our SEC application.
But little did I know, there’s another SEC
Securities and Exchange threw some cuffs on me.
So now the fun is over, there’s no more thrill
And I started droppin’ dime like I was Henry Hill
But now I’m in the pen, there’s no witness protection
For helpin’ out every ‘Cane who had an erection
(boats n' hoes, i gotta have me more boats and hoes!
boats n' hoes, boats n' hoes, i gotta have me more boats and hoes! x2)
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Comments
Nice. If you slip in an Anchorman reference in a future installment, you will be my hero forever.
by BEHorn on Aug 17, 2011 10:44 AM CDT reply actions
That’s some fine work Lou. Bake em away toys!
by Austin Horn on Aug 17, 2011 10:50 AM CDT reply actions
Finer poetry has never been written on the Carnival.
by billfromlaketravis on Aug 17, 2011 10:51 AM CDT reply actions
Who’ll take $300 extra to get under Wilfork?
That won the internet in my opinion.
by t1climb1 on Aug 17, 2011 10:52 AM CDT reply actions
Screw your hundred dollar handshakes – I’m buying abortions!
It’s a shame this is too lengthy for a vanity plate. Bumper sticker, IMO.
by Dagga Roosta on Aug 17, 2011 11:00 AM CDT reply actions
Outstanding work Nobis. The number of classic lines are too numerous to even mention.
A standing ovation for you. Or given the context maybe a standing ovulation.
by Nunna Yo Bizness on Aug 17, 2011 11:05 AM CDT reply actions
Just one of the better examples of why you and Dagga are the best posters on this blog!
by Magnitude on Aug 17, 2011 11:18 AM CDT reply actions
Somebody autotone this!
Eminem couldn’t find rhymes for Ponzi and Shalala more adeptly.
by horninexile on Aug 17, 2011 11:21 AM CDT reply actions
You just made my day.
Too many amazing lines to quote back, but for some reason this killed me:
Schemes, I got ‘em – 3-4, 4-3,
Got three hoes on all fours right in front of me.
by Scipio Tex on Aug 17, 2011 12:05 PM CDT reply actions
Vulcan, nice contribution from LSU Freek!
What do the folks in ’Loosa think about your newest pending addition from East Tejas?
by Jake Lonergan on Aug 17, 2011 12:24 PM CDT reply actions
Soon you will receive a Barking Carnival satin cape. You are now a Fifth Level Initiate. You may no longer partake of shellfish. You will receive further instruction via the fifth word of every odd-integered page in Cat Fancy magazine.
by Scipio Tex on Aug 17, 2011 12:25 PM CDT reply actions
Good stuff. Now I need to figure out a way to get the song out of my head.
by Jesus Shuttlesworth on Aug 17, 2011 12:38 PM CDT reply actions
The original work is pure genius!!!
But then you dropped this in a response…..
“nobis60 said: August 17th, 2011 at 10:14 am
Scipio –
And they were all 2-gapping."
OH DEAR GOD!!! I was CRYING at this……
by Kips Big Boy on Aug 17, 2011 12:43 PM CDT reply actions
The Joseph Pulitzer tag was the icing on the cake.
by AZHorn on Aug 17, 2011 12:58 PM CDT reply actions
I have always thought of nobis as one of the elders at BC (based on moniker alone I guess). If that is indeed the case, that makes this work that much awesomer.
nobis60 – If you don’t currently subscribe to Cat Fancy, I will be glad to mail you my copies after I read them.
by jinx on Aug 17, 2011 1:16 PM CDT reply actions
I despise hiphop, rap, whatever you want to call it, but…
THIS SHIT just might make me a FAN!!
I am in awe of the talents this site routinely features so casually, as if it were nothing special.
by lurkerinthedark on Aug 17, 2011 1:17 PM CDT reply actions
by nobis60 on Aug 17, 2011 1:23 PM CDT reply actions
I, for one, reject the Dan Quayle spelling of “ho’s”.
by Guvnah on Aug 17, 2011 1:35 PM CDT reply actions
And if she’s knocked up after you bang her,
Here’s five bills – won’t need no coat hanger!
Brilliant!
by The General on Aug 17, 2011 1:52 PM CDT reply actions
Nobis might need to change his name to Fred Lynn because he may go ROY and MVP in the same year.
My only qualm is the ‘two gapping.’ I’m more of a zero gap fan myself. . o O o ., imo.
by magnusbleuveigner on Aug 17, 2011 2:17 PM CDT reply actions
If FAggyRick(Perry) becomes president, he could name you poet laureate
by Ralph the Wonder Llama on Aug 17, 2011 3:24 PM CDT reply actions
I hope you don’t mind, but I just linked to this on EDSBS. As I said there, genius like this deserves the widest (or drunkest) possible audience.
Of course, you may end up with 900 or so comments here, but that’s life.
by Longhorn in Canada on Aug 17, 2011 5:37 PM CDT reply actions
And, I do have to agree with Guvnah. It’s hos, not hoes. Despite what the title of the video says. One you use to weed your garden, the other to…, well, let’s just say you use them to recruit players to The U.
by Longhorn in Canada on Aug 17, 2011 7:56 PM CDT reply actions
Just wanted to let ya know I been sharing your lines with people all day, they all loved it as well I think some of them are still laughing. Thanks again.Classic!
by Hookem Up on Aug 17, 2011 8:22 PM CDT reply actions
You got an attitude (almost) as big as the president’s two-toned colored feet!
by Jamaal at the mall on Aug 18, 2011 7:23 PM CDT reply actions
Sweet Lord this is good. It needs to go in the vault with other all-time posts.
by burnt orange outrage on Aug 18, 2011 10:19 PM CDT reply actions
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