Sneak Peek at The Longhorn Network Studios
by Vasherized on Aug 18, 2011 5:46 PM CDT
in Texas Longhorns and Other Football
Email
PrintIt's dress rehearsal time at Bristol's new south campus located off I-35, where hordes of Aggies continue to goose step march in organized protest.
Or maybe that was the line for Franklin BBQ.
Deloss Dodds, Chris Plonsky and some ESPN suits.
I know many of you were disappointed when Pam Ward didn't land one of the anchor spots. You'll have to settle for Samantha Steele.
Since my cable company doesn't carry your show, do you mind if I come watch in person?
Steele, who has already been called "the next Trev Alberts Erin Andrews", be will be sharing air time with lead anchors Lowell Galindo, who was hauled out of the ESPNU basement studio, and former local radio personality and UT grad Kevin Dunn. I don't google images of male TV anchors but you'll meet them soon enough.
Now there's just the lingering issue of what cable companies will carry the LHN. The first carrier was announced yesterday and the 17 people in Houston that subscribe to Entouch, a broadband provider to Houston master planned communities, are in luck. Houston has a shitload of master planned communities so that number might be higher but the big names have yet to drop.
I imagine we're days away from deals being inked with AT&T, Comcast, and Time Warner. DirecTV users have been told the company will not be carrying the LHN, some of whom responded by firing a 20 gauge at their rooftop satellite dishes. An act they will regret when a deal is announced two weeks into the season. They also happened to be Aggies.
In other news, an ESPN VP named Burke Magnus (that can't be real) announced that they still intend to air a second Longhorn game this season. Aggies sitting in Hobby Airport waiting for the next Southwest flight to Tuscaloosa are already in full Bachmann Perry Overdrive mode.
Gosh dern dat darn Doddseh!!
Well to that, I give them a picture of Rick Perry holding a puppy...
THERE THERE IT'S ALL BETTER NOW. SQUEEZE IT SOFTLY NOW. GOOOOOD AGGIE.
Now if you'll excuse us, we have a goddamn media empire to run. The lights come on in eight days. That's how long you have to find a new conference. If things don't work out with the SEC, the WAC is willing and ready.
Haven't you always wanted to be the big farmer on a small farm?
37 comments
|
0 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
Steele, who has already been called "the next Trev Alberts Erin Andrews", be sharing air time
Yaley patois, imo.
by BrickHorn on Aug 18, 2011 5:52 PM CDT reply actions
Aggie in the white house is an unfair recruiting advantage.
by Team Dirty Leg on Aug 18, 2011 5:54 PM CDT reply actions
Is this news about DirecTV not carrying The Longhorn Network official or hearsay?
by Collin Sith on Aug 18, 2011 5:58 PM CDT reply actions
Where are the cheerleaders, and when does the Wesson oil delivery arrive?
by Fong the Merciless on Aug 18, 2011 6:27 PM CDT reply actions
I have been officially vasherized: Bachmann Perry Overdrive
Move to the head of the class, V. Stay thirsty.
by TXStampede on Aug 18, 2011 6:35 PM CDT reply actions
i live in a planned community in houston but chose not to go with Entouch, DAMMMM!!!
any word on Dish?
by thecontractor on Aug 18, 2011 6:42 PM CDT reply actions
“Empire” is getting thrown around a bit loosely, no? Nice network. Seems to be really catching on.
by ColoradoAg on Aug 18, 2011 7:17 PM CDT reply actions
Vash, you know I dig you. You also know we won’t be in the WAC.
You’ll win a Big 12 game again. I promise.
by ColoradoAg on Aug 18, 2011 7:19 PM CDT reply actions
“Samantha Steele” sounds like a porn actress. Maybe they have some unique ideas on how to fill air time.
by Nunna Yo Bizness on Aug 18, 2011 7:22 PM CDT reply actions
Check the set decor down front. I can make out a half a horn, a possum carcass, and a dreadlocked dungball. Takes me home.
by triplehorn on Aug 18, 2011 7:26 PM CDT reply actions
Colorado,
As someone who knows Chris on a personal level, you couldn’t be farther from the truth.
by Garry Crowbar on Aug 18, 2011 7:27 PM CDT reply actions
Crowbar,
Nice of you to stick up for a pal. I too know her on a personal level. I wish I didn’t.
by ColoradoAg on Aug 18, 2011 7:39 PM CDT reply actions
That’s disappointing to hear. Different contexts then, I suppose.
by Garry Crowbar on Aug 18, 2011 7:49 PM CDT reply actions
ColoradoAg,
Correct on all counts. Is the Mountain West a more reasonable aspiration?
by Vasherized on Aug 18, 2011 7:59 PM CDT reply actions
“Nice network, seems to be really catching on.”
We’ll see which catches n first; LHN (Empire) or A&M to SEC.
by g'69 on Aug 18, 2011 8:02 PM CDT reply actions
Did not say you were. I think each happens like the faithful hopes it will. Just pointing out that you are saying the same things about the LHN that many orangebloods were tweeking you about with regards to SEC.
by g'69 on Aug 18, 2011 8:13 PM CDT reply actions
WTF is up with the driftwood shipwreck in the foreground? Fire the set designer. But not until you cut a national deal with Directv dammit!
by wethorn on Aug 18, 2011 8:59 PM CDT reply actions
Odin was called a poor man’s Burke Magnus.
by Drew Dunlevie on Aug 18, 2011 9:07 PM CDT reply actions
All I know is if Time Warner doesn’t carry the LHN, I a switching to Entouch pronto!
by Monahorns on Aug 18, 2011 9:51 PM CDT reply actions
DirecTV will have LHN. My friend just signed a service contract with them and they promised LHN. They even wrote it into his contract that he could cancel the service with no fees, etc if they didn’t have it for the start of the season.
by texasauteur on Aug 18, 2011 9:59 PM CDT reply actions
I’m sure what I said above has occured with lots of other people…not TONS but enough to instill confidence that they’ll have the network.
by texasauteur on Aug 18, 2011 10:00 PM CDT reply actions
i just looked at google images for all the male anchors listed above. no homo.
by godzillatron on Aug 18, 2011 11:30 PM CDT reply actions
Fuck aggie, stay away from Steamboat, your starter jacket and your rear entry boots keep messing up my powder days. I’m tired of you losers hogging seats on the tram so you can slide sideways down Heavenly Glaze.
Keystone is more your style. Trust me.
by roach on Aug 19, 2011 12:08 AM CDT reply actions
Apparently, Pam is the 5th of her parents’ children.
by Young Williams on Aug 19, 2011 1:10 AM CDT reply actions
Directors chairs look cheap. I guess we can’t afford leather chairs.
by ctothevd on Aug 19, 2011 10:03 AM CDT reply actions
Didn’t ESPN cover the ags fall camp a couple of years ago? Didn’t that give them a recruiting advantage?? It seems like they are okay with advantages as long as it is to their advantage. When something is to our advantage it is called greed.
I heard that a reporter was asking Dodds what his thoughts were on the ags behavior towards LHN and Dodds responded by asking the reporter if he had heard how TEXAS felt about the ags hosting the High School seven on seven championship every year and getting an unfair recruiting advantage. The reported replied no I haven’t heard anything about it at all and Dodds said thats right and your not going to.
Obviously, the point he was making is that the ags get their share of advantages but we don’t cry like a baby about it. We just look at it as though they out played us that time and score one for them. In short we act like big boys.
by BEVOCALHORNS on Aug 19, 2011 10:14 AM CDT reply actions
It seems like they are okay with advantages as long as it is to their advantage. When something is to our advantage it is called greed.
Aggies are nothing if not hypocritical. Notice the bitching about how they want to be in a conference with equal revenue sharing because it was “unfair”. While last year they were to only school demanding they get all of the the exodus money from UNL and CU. I believe Texas and OU offered to split it with the other schools in the Big 12.
by roach on Aug 19, 2011 11:14 AM CDT reply actions
I assure you, the name is real.
Man, even ColoradoAg is touchy these days.
by burkemagnusbleuveigner on Aug 19, 2011 12:26 PM CDT reply actions
U-Verse pleeeeeeeaaase carry LHN!! I’m lovin me some Samantha Steele
“…and it’s goodbye to a&m”
by Texan323 on Aug 19, 2011 3:13 PM CDT reply actions
The line at Franklin BBQ was an hour and a fucking half today. And worth every second of the wait.
fatty brisket coma, imo.
by Vasherized on Aug 19, 2011 4:57 PM CDT reply actions
I simply could not go away your site before suggesting that I really loved the usual information an individual provide to your guests? Is going to be back regularly in order to check up on new posts
by dish network on Nov 13, 2011 10:01 PM CST reply actions
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
Related FanPosts on Barking Carnival
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
