Last Week: 3-2 ATS 4-1 SU
For the Year: 10-7 (.588) ATS 12-5 (.706) SU
What we learned last week:
We learned that Will Muschamp likes to stare a lot, but he wasn’t staring at Chris Rainey as he was the Florida offense, amassing 232 total yards in Florida’s victory over Tennessee.
…that LSU’s defense could probably shut out a few NFL teams. Good lord.
…that Joe Bauserman is not the latest in the line of "Big Stiff But Effective" quarterbacks at Ohio State, as he and back-up Braxton Miller had combined for 13 passing yards late in the 4th quarter in their loss to Miami.
…that Oklahoma State (and Tulsa for that matter) have some guys that can play on Sundays.
…that Oklahoma and Florida State play some boring, yet highly rated football games.
…and that the Longhorns can have a successful business trip. A Case McCoy tweet late in the week stated that as the goal, but 284 rushing yards later the Longhorns had run all over UCLA for a change.
While I don’t get as much mail as much more successful writers like Bill Simmons, that doesn’t mean that we can’t disguise a random thoughts column inside a "synthetic" mailbag column. Remember, these are NOT actual letters from actual readers:
What is up with Texas ducking Texas A&M on Thanksgiving weekend from now on?
College Station, TX
Well, Bill, the fact of the matter is that Texas A&M agreed to a contract last year, agreed upon the parameters of the Longhorn Network earlier this year, and only now, a month before the season kicked off, decided to catapult the college football world into chaos.
Now Fredo Corleone is in bed with the Barzini family, letting their dirty practices into our neighborhood…so no, you’re not a brother or a friend, I don’t want to know you or what you do…I don’t want you near my house…you understand?
Why can’t you Texas fans realize that revenue sharing might be un-American but we must honor old rivals like Washington State who go to the Rose Bowl once a generation in favor of teams that go to the Rose Bowl several times a decade?
Los Angeles, CA
Why, of course, Larry…we will of course share our Tier I and Tier II rights equally, no matter if we are on TV more than Seinfeld re-runs…but you really need our $15 million for our Tier III rights, also known as the Longhorn (Notice No Red Raider) Network?
If we gave the member schools their 1/16th share, USC would spend the money on more, ahem, student athlete housing…UCLA could then afford Oscars-like seat fillers to fill up the Rose Bowl on Saturday afternoons…Stanford would buy a few more trees to hug…Cal might be able to field a baseball team…Oregon would just buy more "scouting materials"…Washington would buy VHS videotapes of their 1991 season in review…and Washington State might put up a Ryan Leaf statue.
We’ll save you the embarrassment.
Did you see how late that Oklahoma State/Tulsa game started the other night? I was in bed reading oil prospectuses by 9 o’clock!
I can’t even imagine the chaos that would surround our tailgating lot by the beginning of a football game that kicked off after midnight…but I imagine it to be just like a Dolph Lundgren movie…or a rap video, I don’t know.
Does the Alumni Center call for last call at 1:45 AM as halftime is just beginning? Do we get infomercials instead of commercials during breaks? Do they break out the glow sticks when they play that awful techno music before kickoffs? We need to find out.
For a limited time only! #7 jerseys are half off! Get them now!
Really? I’m going to buy a boatload and rebrand them as Matt Nordgren jerseys…dude is a hit these days.
On to the games...
Oregon -16 @ Arizona:
This is the third game of three in a ridiculous stretch in the month of September for Arizona, who also played at Oklahoma State (L 37-14) and home against Stanford (L 37-10) last week.
Nick Foles has been great (1,049 yards 7 TD/0 INT), but Oregon is too much for a worn out Arizona squad.
Oregon 44 Arizona 17
ATS – Oregon
SU – Oregon
LSU -6 @ West Virginia:
West Virginia has been inconsistent at best, going down at the half to Norfolk State and then getting up to a big lead and having to hold on against Maryland last week.
You’re going to have to be very good to perfect to beat this LSU defense, and although I’m a big Dana Holgersen fan, the Tigers are only giving up 47 yards per game on the ground and 207 total yards through three games that included Mississippi State and Oregon.
LSU 24 West Virginia 13
ATS – LSU
SU – LSU
Arkansas @ Alabama -12:
This year Arkansas would take the lead they had last year, when they were up on Alabama 20-7 in the second half before the Crimson Tide roared back.
In the last trip to Tuscaloosa the Razorbacks got their hide handed to them, 35-7, and I expect more of the same as an Arkansas offensive line that has given up 7 sacks to three non-descript opponents will have their hands full with this defense.
Alabama 27 Arkansas 10
ATS – Alabama
SU – Alabama
Kansas State @ Miami -13:
Miami might have found a running back last week against Ohio State as Lamar Miller carried the ball 26 times for 184 yards in their 24-6 win. The Buckeyes hadn’t given up that many yards since the Cooper era.
Meanwhile, Kansas State starts a quarterback who has thrown for 202 yards against Eastern Kentucky and Kent State.
Miami rolls them.
Miami 31 Kansas State 16
ATS – Miami
SU – Miami
Missouri @ Oklahoma -21:
This is a revenge game of sorts, as Oklahoma lost to Missouri in Columbia last year, 36-27 in a game where the Tigers had nearly 500 yards of offense.
The X factor here is Missouri quarterback James Franklin. After a lukewarm debut, he’s thrown for 319 yards for 2 touchdowns against Arizona State and then 246 and 3 touchdowns against…ahem…Western Illinois last week. But we all know the trouble that Oklahoma has had with mobile quarterbacks throughout the years, and Franklin rushed for 187 yards in two games against Miami of Ohio and ASU before sacks.
Landry Jones was very ordinary last week, although that was on the road against a tough defense. Oklahoma wins here, but Missouri keeps it interesting for a while.
Oklahoma 38 Missouri 24
ATS – Missouri
SU – Oklahoma
Oklahoma State @ Texas A&M -4:
And the game of the week is in…College Station, Texas? Unless you are ESPN Gameday that is. These two teams played an outstanding game in Stillwater last year as the teams combined for 888 yards in a 38-35 Oklahoma State victory.
Two things to watch here:
1.) Texas A&M, after two games, leads the nation in sacks with 11 and also leads the nation in sacks allowed, not having allowed one in two games.
2.) Oklahoma State quarterback Brandon Weeden has been careless with the football this year, throwing for 6 interceptions in 3 games.
If Texas A&M is able to pressure Weeden into making mistakes and shorten the field for those two running backs, the Cowboys will be dead in the water. Conversely, if Oklahoma State isn’t able to get to Ryan Tannehill, it will be a long night for them as their secondary has allowed 727 yards in 3 games.
These two teams will trade punches early, but eventually A&M will wear them down…even quicker if Weeden starts throwing to the wrong jersey.
Texas A&M 41 Oklahoma State 35
ATS – Texas A&M
SU – Texas A&M
For entertainment purposes only. Save your money for buying third tier rights to your local community college.