Texas/OU Sundry: 24 Hours to Kickoff
by Vasherized on Oct 7, 2011 10:14 AM CDT
in Texas Longhorns and Other Football
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PrintYou'll always be Uncle Rico to me you slack jawed Okie
Some stats from ESPN with a little fuzzy math but Manny Diaz sees right through it.
Oklahoma quarterback Landry Jones completes just less than 66 percent of his passes inside the pocket. Outside the pocket, he completes just more than 51 percent, throwing interceptions on 5.4 percent of his passes, compared to 2.0 inside the pocket.
This season, Jones has completed 74 percent of his passes inside the pocket (the definition apparently varies), compared to 36 percent outside the pocket. Two of his five interceptions have come outside the pocket, and none of his 10 touchdowns.
Jones is completing 84.2 percent of his passes out of the pistol formation and has a passer rating of 224.2 in the formation.
Think Diaz has a plan? I do. FLUSH JONES OUT OF THE POCKET ALL THE WAY INTO THE LOCKER ROOM DOWN A COTTON BOWL TOILET.
Just curious, who is OU's backup QB? If we get steady pressure on Jones, UT wins. If we don't, we lose. Football really is a simple game.
Last season, Texas completed 23 percent of its passes of longer than 25 yards; that number also includes a 2-of-7 mark with Garrett Gilbert this season. Since Gilbert was benched, Case McCoy, David Ash and John Harris have combined to complete 6 of 7 passes longer than 25 yards.
Texas RB Malcolm Brown is averaging 6.4 yards per carry when running outside the tackles, and six of his 23 attempts have gone for longer than 10 yards.
Five of the nation's 15 undefeated teams are in the Big 12, the most of any conference. Oklahoma, Texas, Kansas State, Texas Tech and Oklahoma State are a combined 20-0.
The Big 12's 27-3 mark (.900) in now-completed nonconference play is the best among all conferences since 1996, topping the SEC's mark of 30-4 in 1997.
Not bad for a conference thought to be on the brink of collapse. Now make up your minds, Mizzou. IN or OUT. You'll be surprised how little the rest of the conference cares what that decision is, we just want you to make one. The Tigers started this realignment plate tectonics shit last year by flirting with the Big 10 and they're still the last team uncommitted to the Big 12. Can we just kick them out on principle? And then hire Gary Pinkel as an assistant special teams coach?
THAYER HE BLOWS! Aaaarrr
The Dan Jenkins of the modern sportswriting era - honorary OU grad Thayer Evans - actually penned a nice little piece on Bryan Harsin. Of course, a fifth grader could write about Harsin's athletic sock collection and I'd probably find some value in it. I want to know everything about Bryan Harsin. Is that healthy? Just when I think it may not be, I think of what keeps LonghornScott up at night and I feel better about myself. Would Diaz' Fire Zone Blitz modification X gap 5A Deep Purple stop Harsin's Inside Zone play action double cross TE post hook and ladder if simulated 10 times? You and I are not like him, but just be glad he calls our Zoo home. Petting hours are from 9-11 on Sunday.
Brent Venables isn't sleeping well either, but it's not from the increasingly unsettling game film on Harsin's offense. Our OU insiders say he has bleeding hemorrhoids that could affect his 4th quarter playcalling. Just something to keep in mind if he keeps blitzing safeties while we repeatedly burn OU down the seam with a tight end. It may not go the distance but it's only because DJ Grant isn't as fast as Jermichael Finley.
Oh, Thayer. Right.
After a year as a graduate assistant, Harsin was promoted to tight ends coach and started to become close with then-offensive coordinator Chris Petersen. Petersen gave Harsin increased responsibilities in Boise State’s passing game, which he handled meticulously.
Harsin’s attention to detail is legendary. Boise State quarterback Kellen Moore recalls Harsin spending countless hours preparing for games.
"We were ready for just about anything the opposing team would throw at us," Moore says.
Moore and Wilcox recall Harsin being just as detailed for practice. On the first day of preseason camp, Wilcox says, most teams’ offenses traditionally line up with two running backs and one tight end in one formation.
But when Wilcox was defensive coordinator at Boise State, Harsin, on the first day, had four different groups of personnel, an empty backfield and plenty of shifts and motion.
I think it's safe to say Bryan Harsin has exceeded every possible expectation through four games. And that won't change with a loss to OU and/or Okie State despite what you may read on a live game thread. It's a nice feeling to know the other team's coaches are probably more nervous than yours, is it not? Bob Stoops is going to send Greg Davis a 20 lb box of Omaha Steaks on Sunday as a belated gesture of gratitude.
And while we're just half way through this season, it's hard not to start thinking about what this offense might look like next year. I envision every single drive resulting in a touchdown with zero turnovers in an undefeated season. And you? Given what we've seen so far, those seem like perfectly reasonable expectations.
You might even be able to watch those highlights on the Longhorn Network by then.
In the meantime, let's steal one from the Sooners with a little trickeration, misdirection, power, clutchiness, opportunistic defense, and some good old Cotton Bowl luck.
What time is it, Bones Jones?
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“Ever dipped a corndog in beer?”
Shamefully no, but that will be rectified in approximately 22 hours.
by nordberg on Oct 7, 2011 10:25 AM CDT reply actions
Can we get UT governor of Texas and make the Friday before OU/UT a fucking holiday here?
I need to spend the day:
- watching past highlights of glorious UT victories over OU
- reading every message board, tweet and article I can find
- and I need to start drinking heavily so I wake up at 10:45am tomorrow.
GD work. f’ng capitalist society. If I were in China I could have a 60" flat screen as my desk and be watching LHN.
by Texoz on Oct 7, 2011 10:28 AM CDT reply actions
“FLUSH JONES OUT OF THE POCKET ALL THE WAY INTO THE LOCKER ROOM DOWN A COTTON BOWL TOILET.”
I can’t stop laughing at that. I can almost see and hear it. Bravo!
by RomaVicta on Oct 7, 2011 10:35 AM CDT reply actions
The Landry Jones pocket info is startling.
Jon Jones giving us props can only help our intangible chemistry.
by Scipio Tex on Oct 7, 2011 10:37 AM CDT reply actions
A lot of questions raised by that video. The cameraman says “It’s Texas-OU weekend 2012”. Video from the future. Someone find that guy and ask him what happened in the RRS in 2011 stat. 2nd, the internets tell me that Bones Jones is an MMA fighter. But he’s also from New York. So he’s a Texas fan just because of how sweet our football program is?
Erin Andrews coats her loins in fried butter
Just when I thought your posts couldn’t get anymore arousing.
by bigdukesix on Oct 7, 2011 10:37 AM CDT reply actions
Since when did the toilets at the Cotton Bowl start working?
by ultralight on Oct 7, 2011 10:39 AM CDT reply actions
WTF did I wake up from a coma. I swear the video says its the year 2012. Doesn’t really matter what year it is, ou will always suck!
Hook ’Em Horns!
by Weisse Versa on Oct 7, 2011 10:43 AM CDT reply actions
Petting hours are from 9-11 on Sunday.
Nevar forget.
by BrickHorn on Oct 7, 2011 10:47 AM CDT reply actions
Serious, though leading, question for those of you in the know: Is Venables that big a d-bag, or does he just play one on TV?
by JoeT63 on Oct 7, 2011 10:48 AM CDT reply actions
Oh, look – it’s 10:57, and I’ll be damned but OU STILL FUCKING SUCKS.
by Jade Hollowell on Oct 7, 2011 10:58 AM CDT reply actions
11:02 and Texas is still attached to Oklahoma…. That sucking sound you hear is coming from Norman…
by Longhorn Josh on Oct 7, 2011 11:03 AM CDT reply actions
bleeding hemorrhoids
Apparently being a Bob Stoops is a pain in the ass.
Could be worse… could be Barry, and while you’re at the proctologist, he’s got your wife bent over the kitchen table, screaming for Jesus…
by Tex Long on Oct 7, 2011 11:05 AM CDT reply actions
Bob Stoops is going to send Greg Davis a 20 lb box of Omaha Steaks on Sunday as a belated gesture of gratitude.
Got a better idea, and it won’t cost Stoops a single red cent.
by srr50 on Oct 7, 2011 11:13 AM CDT reply actions
That Jon Jones clip was about the last thing I expected to see this morning… Any Sooners care to argue with him?
by PB on Oct 7, 2011 11:52 AM CDT reply actions
My affinity for Kes Harsin is becoming unhealthy and quite possibly problematic.
by Huckleberry on Oct 7, 2011 12:15 PM CDT reply actions
Harsin is a gear head, too? God damn, I love this guy. He’s the BFF I’ll never get to meet… haha
by texasengr on Oct 7, 2011 12:21 PM CDT reply actions
OU sucks. The only reason Texas does not slide into the Gulf. I heard that in 1977 at the Cotton Bowl- UT 13-6.
31 years later, at the same venue, same result, 45-35, I saw a shirt with the inscription- You can’t spell cocksucker without OU.
Some things are timeless.
It’s time for win #60. It’s Corny Dog time.
by All The Pretty Longhorns on Oct 7, 2011 12:33 PM CDT reply actions
Will it be a two-way petting zoo? You know, the kind where you pet the animals and they pet you back.
by Garry Crowbar on Oct 7, 2011 12:43 PM CDT reply actions
Saturday is usually my day for sleeping in and doing nothing, but tomorrow I have to wake up early and get fired up. It will be 9 am here when the game starts and OU will still suck. Hook ’em!
by Texan in Oregon on Oct 7, 2011 12:54 PM CDT reply actions
damn. i’d kill for a fletcher corny dog and a tall, tall beer right now. dont care if its 11 in the morn. ou still sucks tho
by PVogel on Oct 7, 2011 1:12 PM CDT reply actions
The problem with the 11am start time is that it means I have to get up at an unholy hour to smoke a brisket and have it be ready-to-eat at kickoff.
Oh well. Whatever time I do get up I can at least take comfort in the fact that, at that time, ou will still suck.
by adt2 on Oct 7, 2011 1:26 PM CDT reply actions
I want to throw in 2 thoughts so I’ll sound smart if I’m right.
One: Our DL has beaten their OL the last several years and our best DT has been too much for them the last 3 years. That has to continue for us to win. If we can beat them in the trenches on both sides of the ball the game will end up in our favor.
Landry wants to throw deep, our Cover-3 and Fire Zones have been encouraging teams to throw short where we have wrapped people up well all year. We want either for that to continue, which means tackling Broyles and their RB’s not getting loose (doubtful unless their freshman comes in and dominates), or for Landry to try and force it deep anyways and throw picks. That’s what good pass defense will look like, if you are seeing something else that’s probably not a good sign.
Big day for Dorsey, Randall, Okafor, Jackson. We want to see tackles and tackles for loss next to their names in the box score, that means we handled their running game honestly and put the hurt on Landry. Hook’em.
by Nickel Rover on Oct 7, 2011 2:00 PM CDT reply actions
adt said…“The problem with the 11am start time is that it means I have to get up at an unholy hour to smoke a brisket and have it be ready-to-eat at kickoff.”
I grew up in Dallas, and the 11 AM start is traditional because it allows you plenty of time to be bonded out of jail before kickoff. I’ve always wondered if or when they change it because Dallas PD canceled the Friday Night Riot on Commerce St in the 90’s…
by stevo67 on Oct 7, 2011 2:14 PM CDT reply actions
“The problem with the 11am start time is that it means I have to get up at an unholy hour to smoke a brisket and have it be ready-to-eat at kickoff.”
Who the hell has an appetite during the game? A thirst, sure, but food? No.
by lurkerinthedark on Oct 7, 2011 2:29 PM CDT reply actions
I made it to approx. 30 TX/OU games in a row, but I haven’t been since 2006. I remember as a kid seeing women my mom’s age wearing Tuck Fexas T-shirt’s and thinking this was war. I’m going tomorrow and I’m pretty freaking pumped. At age 45 I’ll still get butterflies when I set foot on the fairgrounds.
Let’s get it on!!
by Art Vandelay on Oct 7, 2011 2:42 PM CDT reply actions
8 a.m. kick off up here in the Cold Country (and, by far, the largest state in the USofA). I’ll be up early and . . . oh, yeah, TxinOregon . . . OU will still suck here, too.
by AKHorn on Oct 7, 2011 2:47 PM CDT reply actions
Its 2:57 pm, I just left the Sooner Nation at Humperdink’s on Northwest Hwy in Dallas. Every year since 1998 or so The Sooners radio station, The Animal has set up shop there. A few times the Sooner faithful have rolled in at 10 o’clock led by a Oklahoma State trooper and car. This place gets packed with Red from Oklahoma. Like i do every year i set up the extra equipment and outdoor flat screens to handle the overflow. I wrap up by 11 am and set down, I’m the only Horn showing colors in the place save a few mixed marriages. As usual it was a friendly bunch, after several inquiries about how the game would go tomorrow, i found nobody even guaranteeing a win. They all are calling it a close game. They all think Malcolm Brown is the key. And are concerned about Harsin. This is a little unusual, there is almost always several with Sooner smackdown talk, not this year,hmmmm. I will be going over there at 6:30 am in the morning to do a few things, Sooners will be setting in chairs, iooking like they are tailgating drinking whatever is in there coolers, lined up to get in. I will see if they have changed their tune. They have not been this docile since 2005.
by MONTY on Oct 7, 2011 3:29 PM CDT reply actions
Since when did the toilets at the Cotton Bowl start working?
Okie Jones can unclog plumbing outside the pocket at a 76% clip.
by The General on Oct 7, 2011 3:57 PM CDT reply actions
Also, I was just walking through Pike Place Market and saw an God damned trailer troll wearing a Sooner Starter Jacket. I yelled “Boomer!” as loud as I could and watched his tooth deficient grin fade to an Oh Mommy Face to a Fuk U Whorn Face when he turned around to see me throwing double Hook Em’s in the air.
Hatred knows no geography
by The General on Oct 7, 2011 4:00 PM CDT reply actions
I started a post on the shag saying that after everything I’ve seen this year and read from the Jesus and the like that I am irrationally confident in a win. And not a fluke, stars align b/c we force 3 turnovers, block a kick and win by 3 type deal, but a going away ass kicking by 10-14. I can’t believe how confident I feel about this game, considering we are getting 10.5 from the Vegas boys.
Safe trip to dallas all who are heading up.
Hookem
by Wulaw Horn on Oct 7, 2011 4:03 PM CDT reply actions
What a day tomorrow – 30 hungry and thirsty longhorn fans at the house, wifes been bitching since Tuesday, cat is vaguely aware somethings up, black sheep, aggy loving grandson has been suspiciously quite all week , tivo is set to record the game and the Cinn./WVU game (we should scout our future conference member (s), right?) and I expect to get no more than 5 hours sleep tonight in anticipation.
It’s 4:05 and OU STILL sucks!
by Snide Aside on Oct 7, 2011 4:07 PM CDT reply actions
It is 4:15 and OU still sucks. :)
That shit is never gonna get old.
by Teejay3726 on Oct 7, 2011 4:15 PM CDT reply actions
One of our WR recently said that Texas’ D is a bunch of girls and that Kenny V. is the biggest fairy of them all. In fact, he said that once he gets into the NFL and buys his dream house, he is going to need some landscapers and Kenny V. can apply for the job.
by Sooner Dave Winkey on Oct 7, 2011 4:15 PM CDT reply actions
It will be Mexican breakfast and beer swilling at 8:00 a.m. because I know I won’t be sleeping past 7.
Then we beat OU.
Then I have to go to those fucking UFC fights at Toyota. I’d be headed to Dallas as I type, gearing up for Dallas Jesuit v. Skyline, but no, my girlfriend has suite tickets and actually likes that shit. But, she puts up with A LOT of football so whatever.
And yes I know, I could make the UT game and UFC, but let’s be serious.
by Tipsy Gypsie on Oct 7, 2011 4:32 PM CDT reply actions
Sooner Dave, to bad you didnt print the WR ’s name. I think its because it was never said.
by MONTY on Oct 7, 2011 4:34 PM CDT reply actions
I heard him say it. He called Vacarro Brenda, too.
by RomaVicta on Oct 7, 2011 5:22 PM CDT reply actions
For everyone who had to work today I went over to the UT Co Op in Dallas and caught a little bit of a warmup for the game:
by jerryw on Oct 7, 2011 5:24 PM CDT reply actions
Hey, I think Texas’ D will prove to be very tough.
by Sooner Dave Winkey on Oct 7, 2011 5:37 PM CDT reply actions
Stolen from the internet, but I thought I’d share:
“What does a Oklahoma graduate and a tornado have in common?
They both will end up in a trailer park.”
“Why is it so difficult to solve a murder in Norman, OK?
All the DNA is the same and there are no dental records.”
And my personal favorite:
“Little David was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.
All the typical answers came up — fireman, policeman, salesman, etc…
David was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.
‘My father’s an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer’s really good, he’ll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for money.’
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring, and took Little David aside to ask him, ‘Is that really true about your father?’
‘No,’ said David, ‘He coaches at the University of Oklahoma , but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids.’"
by vortic on Oct 7, 2011 6:40 PM CDT reply actions
Vasherized, is there a pre or post game spot at the fairgrounds for the Barkers tomorrow? I’d like to swing by and buy you guys a waxy beer.
by Art Vandelay on Oct 7, 2011 7:24 PM CDT reply actions
I will be at College Gameday and at the game holding an epic sign of my own brilliant creation which reads “Harsin’s School of Witchcraft & Wizardry”.
Let the magic begin.
by Jade Hollowell on Oct 7, 2011 8:42 PM CDT reply actions
Now that’s one vid I haven’t seen.
by Louis L'am Jones on Oct 7, 2011 8:51 PM CDT reply actions
Some aggy is probably bitching about Jon Jones being a sip t-shirt fan.
by Spawn of Cthulhu on Oct 7, 2011 9:01 PM CDT reply actions
Twelve hours to go, and Oklahoma still sucks. But in about 14 hours, they’ll be sucking for air.
by OldTimeHorn on Oct 7, 2011 11:06 PM CDT reply actions
It’s 6:44 AM, game fucking day, and OU still sucks!
And so does acid reflux. Urgh.
by nobis60 on Oct 8, 2011 6:46 AM CDT reply actions
Okay it’s Saturday morning now and I’m feeling pretty good about today. Haven’t put on my orange just yet but it’s early and I’m trying to finish my coffee over here so give me a minute.
See, I’ve been thinking about something. You know that five year streak not so long ago where we kind of didn’t win very good and stuff against a certain team. Yeah, we’ve been doing a lot better since then and things are looking pretty good now. But still.
I’ve never been able to totally shake the feeling that a true and complete payback hasn’t been properly delivered to our neighbors to the north. A full balancing of accounts. A requital of the first order. You know what I mean. Satisfaction.
I want it to begin today.
This is my wish, my decree—my solemn command to all that it true and good and burnt and orange and hooked in the cosmos. By Zeus, let it be. O Odin! May Ragnarök be loosed upon the toothless hordes this very day. Lo, the foaming sons of Harsin do gather; the seething swarms of Diaz prepare to besiege thine foe. Noble and mighty and totally fucking grouchy are the land of Horn.
From the prophetic Nordic poem Völuspá:
It sates itself on the life-blood
of fated men,
paints red the powers’ homes
with crimson gore.
Thus it is written.
by Dionysus on Oct 8, 2011 8:19 AM CDT reply actions
And so does acid reflux. Urgh.
Also known as puking. It’s okay, we’ve all been there.
by Vasherized on Oct 8, 2011 8:49 AM CDT reply actions
Dionysus:
Did you get the satisfaction you were after?
by NateHeupel on Oct 9, 2011 5:08 PM CDT reply actions
Did you get the satisfaction you were after?
You know what a revolving asshole is? That’s someone who’s an asshole no matter which way you look at him. I don’t think it’s in any of the “real” dictionaries, but if it were, the illustration would be your picture.
by Fong the Merciless on Oct 9, 2011 5:33 PM CDT reply actions
Art Vandelay -
Vasherized, is there a pre or post game spot at the fairgrounds for the Barkers tomorrow? I’d like to swing by and buy you guys a waxy beer.
As the only Barker who showed up for this year’s RRS, I wish I had seen this before the game. I could have used a free waxy beer or two. Or eight.
Why was I the only Barker in attendance at the biggest game of the year? Because the others had better things to do:
Vasherized was busy researching textile industry history for an upcoming piece: “150 Years of Seersucker: a Retrospective on Summertime Fabrics for the Refined Gentleman.”
Scipio was meticulously ironing his Affliction t-shirt, spiking his hair, and doing last-minute push-ups in preparation for a UFC-watching party at a Bay Area Hooters.
Sailor Ripley was hosting a wine and cheese gala at his Napa estate to raise funds for research on new methods for oppressing the poor through CIA-distributed intoxicants.
Jesus Shuttlesworth was filling in the redacted portions of his latest Big Cigar report with phrases like “the coaches expect the team to get kicked in the teeth repeatedly for four quarters,” “a brand new play that will involve a porous O-line allowing Sooners to stream into the backfield, leaving our rattled ball carrier with no hope for escape,” and “take it to the bank – it’s going to get ugly quickly.”
Huckleberry was having a new hard drive installed. Just north of his spleen.
And the other guys were presumably doing their usual Saturday routine – hanging out with the family, ordering pizza, downing a few beers, and downloading Slovakian snuff films.
by BrickHorn on Oct 10, 2011 3:36 PM CDT reply actions
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