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Around SBN: On Hazards And Hulks And Tigers, Oh My!

Saturday Open Thread: A Tribute to Paul Rhoads

Upset for the ages? Not really. Mike Gundy is still the coach in Stillwater after all. You can just imagine T. Boone texting visor boy, thumbing his diamond studded iPhone from the owner's suite:

I DIDN'T PAY $300 MILLION TO LOSE A BCS TROPHY IN AMES IOWA SHITBIRD!

STICK A BOTTLE OF HAIR GEL UP UR ASS SHITBIRD! FAT SIDE UP.

U SANK MY DREAMS! IOWA STATE? YOU HAVE LEFT ME WITH NO CHOICE BUT TO HIRE PAUL RHOADS SHITBIRD.

LET ME KNOW AHEAD OF TIME UR GONNA SHIT THE BED SHITBIRD SO I CAN AT LEAST PAY OFF THOSE SHITBIRD REFS!

HAVE I EVER TOLD U U R A SHITBIRD, SHITBIRD!?!?!?

It was a highly entertaining game, with big plays all night from Iowa State on both sides of the ball and RS Freshman QB Jared Barnett had a nice coronation. It's not easy to pass the ball on Okie State's secondary, but after giving up an early 70 yd pick six to Shaun Lewis, Barnett came back to torch the Pokes for 376 yards in the air and another 80 on the ground.

Paul Rhoads seems to be good for one of these upsets every year. He's now beat Texas, Nebraska, Iowa, Okie State ... and is happy to beat anybody you put on his schedule. Half the stadium rushed the field within seconds of the game-winning TD in a scene not unlike Def Leppard rocking the Meadowlands in 1986. All that was missing on the final play was Gus Johnson on the call: PandeMOnium in AMES! LETS RIDE A TORNADO SHALL WE? /Swan dives into crowd from broadcasting booth.

Here in live action we have A&M attempting to build an insurmountable lead on Kansas, which although theoretically impossible, might be good enough to hold off a 4th quarter Jayhawk surge, as the Aggies are up 37-0 score in the second quarter. Stay tuned.

Michigan is beating Nebraska 17-10 and nobody outside the midwest is watching.

Kentucky is making Mark Richt sweat a little, holding a 10-6 lead over the Bulldogs in the second quarter.

Furman is beating Florida in the Swamp 7-0. Really, Muschamp? Furman? Maybe it's time to sacrifice Charlie Weis on a rotisserie spit at midfield and distract the rednecks with a little Bread & Circus until Corch Gator can field a competitive team.

7 hours to kickoff ...

BC BEER O' THE DAY: Green Flash Double Stout.

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Kansas has the worst defense in the history of college football. A good high school team could score on them.

by HoustonHorn on Nov 19, 2011 12:41 PM CST reply actions  

Furman 15, Florida 0.

This might be premature, but I’m starting to wonder if we dodged a bullet there.

by Wyatt on Nov 19, 2011 12:45 PM CST reply actions  

Samford and Auburn tied 7-7 in Q2. I used to live just over Red Mt from Samford. Its campus looks like a large church. Sheesh!

Kentucky hanging with UGA; 12-10 in Q2. USC East struggling with Citadel.

Any late breaking news on Collin Klien?

by Jake Lonergan on Nov 19, 2011 12:52 PM CST reply actions  

Furman 22
Florida 7

BOOM Motherfucker!

by Vasherized on Nov 19, 2011 12:55 PM CST reply actions  

Furman now up 22-7. I actually attended a Furman game years ago. Go Paladins. Coach Boom gonna need some help.

by TexanNick on Nov 19, 2011 12:55 PM CST reply actions  

I think the OSU loss put UT back in the nat’l championship hunt.

by quigley on Nov 19, 2011 12:56 PM CST reply actions  

Oh, and Vash, great work on the Pickens texts.

by TexanNick on Nov 19, 2011 12:56 PM CST reply actions  

Thanks, Vash. Rhoads is amazing. KBohls suggested he might be the kind of coach Penn State would hire.

Where can you find Green Flash DS? I’m pretty into/inside the beer world, and never ran across it.

by edsp on Nov 19, 2011 12:56 PM CST reply actions  

Jake, how long since you lived there? I assume you were in school at UAB? Or did you live up in Highland Park?

Just wondering… I was on-air in Birmingham from 96-04.

by Vulcan on Nov 19, 2011 1:00 PM CST reply actions  

If Texas hired Muschamp, would he have hired Charlie to run the offense?

by kemit on Nov 19, 2011 1:03 PM CST reply actions  

Exactly. I’d take our current staff with Boom leading it but that staff he hired is retarded for an SEC team.

by Savage Henry on Nov 19, 2011 1:08 PM CST reply actions  

Central Market carries the Red Hop Red Ale, West Coast IPA and Double Stout.

by Vasherized on Nov 19, 2011 1:23 PM CST reply actions  

Don’t know. I have wondered if Muschamp was allowed to choose his staff or was ‘strongly encouraged’ to hire certain individuals. If they were his choices, he made some very poor hires, Charlie Weiss? And that defense allowing Furman 22 points, c’mon.

Hook ’em!

by java on Nov 19, 2011 1:25 PM CST reply actions  

27-22 Gators.

by Vasherized on Nov 19, 2011 1:27 PM CST reply actions  

I think Urban Meyer saw the writing on the wall, and that even a Shitbird-stomper like Paul Rhodes would have had a tough time at UF this year.

by MaxATX on Nov 19, 2011 1:32 PM CST reply actions  

Hope they installed an automatic air freshener in the pressbox pisser after they hired Weis.

by Wyatt on Nov 19, 2011 1:36 PM CST reply actions  

Paul Rhoads is a great coach. I Dont think he would go anywhere near Happy Valley. That program is as good as dead.

by 55f100tx on Nov 19, 2011 1:38 PM CST reply actions  

Charlie Weiss? Why was he a bad hire? Guy may not be a good HC, but he knows offense. Look at his career. He did not just forget how to coach. Had 2 QBs drafted in the first 2 rounds of the NFL draft, probably would have had two 1st rnd picks if it was not for Clausens attitude.

by Codaxx on Nov 19, 2011 1:43 PM CST reply actions  

Have you watched Florida’s offense this year? There’s your answer.

funny clip from Gameday:

by Vasherized on Nov 19, 2011 1:49 PM CST reply actions  

Is Alabama really the front-runner to play in the BCS title game now? I have no interest in a 9-6 championship game nor the inevitable round of SEC ass-kissing that would ensue.

In general, I’m not a big fan of rematches in college football. Oregon and Alabama already had their shot at LSU. I’d rather see them play the Oklahoma/Oklahoma State winner or maybe even the Clemson/Virginia Tech winner.

by tjarks on Nov 19, 2011 1:59 PM CST reply actions  

Jonathan Gray’s stats this year:

256 carries / 3005 yards / 11.74 ypc / 55 TDs.

by Vasherized on Nov 19, 2011 1:59 PM CST reply actions  

Anybody else having as much fun as I am watching the Nebraska Pelinis self-destruct in Ann Arbor?

Their special teams make ours look NFL caliber. Two fumbles on kick off returns, a blocked punt, and they gave up a fake field goal. They trail 45-17 with about 7 minutes to go.

by srr50 on Nov 19, 2011 2:09 PM CST reply actions  

We could use Gray today.

by 55f100tx on Nov 19, 2011 2:10 PM CST reply actions  

That espn clip was funny.

by 55f100tx on Nov 19, 2011 2:10 PM CST reply actions  

srr50,

Your love for Michigan and hatred for Pelini knows no bounds.

by Vasherized on Nov 19, 2011 2:18 PM CST reply actions  

Anyone with an internet link to Texas-Kansas State? FX isn’t carrying it up here in the Frozen North.

by AKHorn on Nov 19, 2011 2:19 PM CST reply actions  

If hating the Pelini’s is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

by srr50 on Nov 19, 2011 2:22 PM CST reply actions  

AK,

I’m sure someone will post a link on the game thread. Check back closer to game time. justin.tv or frontrowsports will have one.

by Vasherized on Nov 19, 2011 2:24 PM CST reply actions  

Thanks, Vash. And I agree: watching the Pelinis lose is always great theater. After today’s Husker performance, their days in Nebraska are numbered.

by AKHorn on Nov 19, 2011 2:28 PM CST reply actions  

J Gray ran for 321 yards and five TDs last night.
His jr stats are pretty much the same as this year.
The kid is a monster.

On Klein……KSU grad inlaw says never underestimate the powers of the KSU College of Veterinary Medicine – especially if they have access to an adequate supply of spare parts, bailing wire and duct tape.

by coyote on Nov 19, 2011 2:38 PM CST reply actions  

Klein is part borg. I’m not sure he even feels pain. Expect at least 35 carries.

by Vasherized on Nov 19, 2011 2:40 PM CST reply actions  

Missouri’s shitty field claims another victim. Jebus.

by bbliss on Nov 19, 2011 2:41 PM CST reply actions  

My favourite game for seeing Pelini go crazy was the A&M match last year. Horrible calls all around, anemic offenses, Pelini going nuts on Martinez, Carl punching a cameraman after the game. Good times!

by Canuck Horn on Nov 19, 2011 2:43 PM CST reply actions  

Lee Corso F bomb, OU will not play an unbeaten Okie State, Nebilini pees on the Big10 carpet, and Texas attempts revenge on the purple.

NCAA November Football. Time for a double stout.

by All The Pretty Longhorns on Nov 19, 2011 3:02 PM CST reply actions  

“Jake, how long since you lived there? I assume you were in school at UAB? Or did you live up in Highland Park?

Just wondering… I was on-air in Birmingham from 96-04."

I am a native Alabamian who graduated from Texas. I went back home and lived in Birmingham from 74-81 before moving back to Austin. For a while I lived in an apartment complex just behind Red Mountain right behind the Samford. I used to go by youe favorite statue on my way to emtertain clients at The Club. I worked in what was then know as the First Alabama Bank Building—-on the Green.

I absolutely love Birmingham and miss the City and great downtown food there—-Salem’s, Michael’s/Rossi’s, John’s (on the Green). I could go on. I’d also love to get outside of a Browdy’s Rueben.

Of course the Iron Bowl was played at Legion field in those days before Pat Dye fucked that up.

Were you on TV or radio? The best on radio in my day was Tommy Charles and John Ed Willoughby featuring Buddy Birmingham. Doug Layton’s morning show was pretty good, too. Good times!

by Jake Lonergan on Nov 19, 2011 3:03 PM CST reply actions  

Penn St. – Ohio St.: Finally a matchup where the Buckeyes aren’t the more embarrassing, dirtier program.

by bigdukesix on Nov 19, 2011 3:05 PM CST reply actions  

end of the 1st quarter

Texas Tech 14
Missouri 0

WTF?

by srr50 on Nov 19, 2011 3:14 PM CST reply actions  

Furman has dropped 32 on Muschamps specialty—defense. Wow!

by kemit on Nov 19, 2011 3:16 PM CST reply actions  

Alex Torres carted off Mizzou turf with knee injury. According to Mizzou posters, this would only be the 3rd knee injury all year there.

by ultralight on Nov 19, 2011 3:24 PM CST reply actions  

The way CFB is set up there should be no rematches. Nobody outside Austin wanted a TX/ou rematch in ’08.

by Savage Henry on Nov 19, 2011 3:27 PM CST reply actions  

that’s what i get for rooting for the Pokes.

meanwhile, Bama has allowed GASU to score 21 on them, which is more than their last 5 opponents combined. the SEC sure has some badass offenses.

by Beaumont Slim on Nov 19, 2011 3:38 PM CST reply actions  

Muschamp on Urban Meyer to Ohio State: “With his deteriorating health, I wouldn’t think he would.”

Geez.

by Savage Henry on Nov 19, 2011 3:53 PM CST reply actions  

Another Tech player (Washington) just left on a cart. I didn’t see it. Was it a knee also?

by LonghornTilDeath on Nov 19, 2011 3:53 PM CST reply actions  

I like the green flash double, but it’s a bit too espresso/coffee ish, more like a nightcapper than a brau of the day.

And I will brook no arguments otherwise.

by Arriviste on Nov 19, 2011 4:32 PM CST reply actions  

GG says goodbye:

http://www.dailytexanonline.com/news/2011/11/17/garrett-gilbert-says-goodbye

He still says we when referring to his former team.

by goldenbohls on Nov 19, 2011 4:39 PM CST reply actions  

Watching Game Day this morning I found out that Erin Andrews has a Heisman vote. Sad.

by UT07 on Nov 19, 2011 4:49 PM CST reply actions  

UT07, ur kidding, right

by Beaumont Slim on Nov 19, 2011 5:22 PM CST reply actions  

Hey – Erin Andrews knows as much about football as …, um, let’s see…..
Never mind.

by Longhorn in Canada on Nov 19, 2011 5:31 PM CST reply actions  

I am dead serious. They did a piece about who was in the Heisman lead based on votes from the ESPN crew that have a vote and sure enough she’s got one.

by UT07 on Nov 19, 2011 5:37 PM CST reply actions  

Pelini are the New Nixon.

They know you elites have it out for them.

Bo’s looking at you, srr50, and doing that weird salute from an Air Force One replica he flies back to Lincoln.

by parlin on Nov 19, 2011 5:44 PM CST reply actions  

Hilarious Parlin. I can’t wait for the day those jackasses get fired.

by TexanNick on Nov 19, 2011 5:46 PM CST reply actions  

Bo Pelini was never charged for murder? I’m pretty sure he stuffed a man into a woodchipper 16 years back. No wait, that was Fargo, and it was Peter Stormare instead.

I’m actually a big fan of Erin Andrews but how the hell did she get a vote. She probably voted for Tebow over McCoy back in 08. harumph.

by Beaumont Slim on Nov 19, 2011 5:57 PM CST reply actions  

Wish we had a qb on campus as promising as Barnett…

by RS on Nov 19, 2011 6:18 PM CST reply actions  

Wish we had a QB on campus as promising as… Shit, now I’m just depressed.

by TexanNick on Nov 19, 2011 6:30 PM CST reply actions  

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