2012 Sundry: Under Armour, Holgo vs Diaz, Jerry Jones, Kirk Bohls Drinking Game, and More!

Hail to the (yaawwwwnnn) Victors! yeah.

Since you probably didn't watch it, Michigan beat Virginia Tech 23-20 in Tuesday's Sugar Bowl despite only gaining 183 yards and possessing the ball for 23 minutes. Brady Hoke and Michigan fans will take it. It's a hell of a long way from Rich Rod. srr50 probably wrote a longform letter to Bo Schembechler's family, accompanied by a honey ham, conveying his satisfaction with all things maize and blue.

THE HOLGO AIR RAID IS COMING AND YOU ARE POWERLESS TO STOP IT.

Unless your name is Manny Diaz. If Diaz and Holgo were to face off in a WWE match, announced at midnight tonight, it would sell out at 12:01 -- Appalaaaaaaaachian Moooooonshine Mullet vs Central Texas Santeriiiiiaaaaaa. Holgo's Mountaineers dropped an atomic Geno bomb on Dabo's boys, ripping the Ralph Lauren pony right off Clemson fans' shirts with a 99 yard strip fumble TD OMFG play just before halftime to go up by two scores. Oh, wait. They scored again 8 seconds later when Holgo simply nodded his head, allowing the defense to pick off Tahj Boyd. Make that 49 points at halftime and a three score lead. This is what Holgo can do to you, Big 12. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

The Seven Habits of Spectacularly Unsuccessful Executives (h/t strick on OB).

It's confirmed. Jerry Jones reads Forbes.

1) They see themselves and their companies as dominating their environment
2) They identify so completely with the company that there is no clear boundary between their personal interests and their corporation's interests
3) They think they have all the answers
4) They ruthlessly eliminate anyone who isn't completely behind them
5) They are consummate spokespersons, obsessed with the company image
6) They underestimate obstacles
7) They stubbornly rely on what worked for them in the past

Sounds about right. Who else fits that bill?

Mack Brown talks about everything

When you have a few hours to spare, it's always fun to listen to Mack wax on about all things Texas football. You just have to know which 30% to believe.

Jamie Blatnick's presence alone caused Stanford's kicker to miss. Twice.

"I'm about positive I got a piece of the first one," Blatnick said. "I'm just sayin'. I don't think I got credit for it. If I didn't get a piece of it, it was my presence. You can watch the replay."

The replay was utterly inconclusive.

"My pinky probably got it," Blatnick said. "It was enough for him to miss it."

Congrats to the Cowboys for displacing OU as the premier program in the sad state of Oklahoma. Let's hope it lasts.

Kirk Bohls still believes in David Ash and you should too

Have you ever played the Kirk Bohls Drinking Game? Me neither, but somebody should invent one. I didn't even read this article but similar to posting junior recruiting film of a kid you've probably never heard of, a Bohls column always sparks discussion. And bohl movements. Be sure to let us know whether you vehemently disagree with all things Kirk or your kids go to camp together and he's actually a great guy.

Bill Snyder is a roster shuffling wizard

Once Snyder retires, we should pay him a few hundred grand to fly down to Austin every summer for Octogenarian Roster Consultation Services. He'll clasp his hand over Mack Brown's while holder a roster in the other and incant no less than 20 wholesale roster changes that will instantly deliver 2.4 more wins per season.

Kingsbury joins Sumlin's staff in College Station

Interesting hire. Will passing the ball 60 times a game work against S!E!C! defenses? Was Kingsbury the product of the Cougar system already installed by Briles and Holgo or did he actually make it click? Was his father a cocky, noodle-armed dickhead? So many questions...

Corey Joseph and Jordan Hamilton have already been sent down to the D League but Avery Bradley had a nice night for himself, earning the super rare Chest Bump From Paul Pierce, which apparently hardly ever happens to second year guys that just drained their first career trey in an NBA game. But they like Avery, and we'd certainly love to have him back.

Iowa State beat Texas last night 77-71 and I'm going to pretend it was on the Longhorn Network and couldn't watch. Once J'Covan j'rolled his ankle it was game over. That's a sad comment on the current state of the Longhorn program but at least Clint Chapman came to play, finishing with a career high 19 & 11. Too bad we only got him the ball once in the last five minutes and he promptly traveled. Check back in February on this team, a grim month is ahead.

WE MUST PROTECT THESE RECRUITS! And poach more in the process ... the 2012 Under Armour All American Bowl Game is tonight at 6:30 CST on ESPN. Here are the rosters. All the Texas kids, except for future commit Mario Edwards, are playing on the Black team (Highlight). It's a loaded squad and Texas has SEVEN starters: Connor Brewer, Johnathan Gray, Cayleb Jones, Curtis Riser, Peter Jinkens, Bryson Echols, and Malcom Brown. Check the Cosm tomorrow for a few game breakdowns.

TEXAS, BITCHES.

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