'Twas The Night Before Aggie Signing Day

'Twas the night before signing day and all through the ‘net,
Every Aggie was fretting, each bed mostly wet;
No sleep could be had, not even a bit,
While Ol’ Army braces for its next de-commit;

Young men choosing hats, internet chatter,
Auburn and Oregon buy players, both fit and the fatter;
Away to the websites, fans fly like a flash,
In maroon footy pajamas, slim hopes likely dashed;
Except for the fortunate and ever so few,
Goddamn Alabama and f’ing tu.

Bralon Addison to Oregon, Thompson to ba-you,
Heartbreak to Aggie? Israel to Jew;
But Maroon will fight on, even if all in vain,
Did you seriously just lose a kid to Tulane?
On Byrne! On Corp Turd! On Reveille! On Sumlin!
On Nut Squeeze! On Delusion! On Signing Day stumblin’!
To SEC West, where pastures are greener,
Home of the 2 stars, positional tweeners!

What’s that you say, mouth all agape?
That must have been some attempt at a jape;
Turns out those pastures aren’t greener at all,
As you’ll find each Saturday, each dreary Fall;
The Confeds plays for titles and always for keeps,
Their players wear jurry, and drive decked out jeeps;
Though Longhorns will gloat over scoreboard eternal,
We wish you much luck in that redneck infernal;

But before we take leave, some advice to impart,
Bidding good riddance with calamitous fart;
Count your blessings as Texans and stave signing day spite,
Merry commitments to all! And to all a good night!

***

We'll have signing day covered at the Recruitocosm with breaking news and a day long open thread followed by a post-signing day class dissection written by yours truly, as well as analysis of our rivals, likely early contributors, and everything else you need to carry you into Spring football. You can also follow the national recruiting scene dramas (I set the over-under at mamas who refuse to sign LOIs at 3) at SB Nation Recruiting.

We're peddling hope. You buyin'?

It's free.

Hook 'em.

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