for our next head coach. We're looking for someone who can RISE to the occasion. Someone who can take up the gauntlet when the shit hits the fan. Someone who does not wilt in the face of competition, but raises his game to meet the challenge.
Unlike Mack Brown, who rolls over and plays dead each time he faces Bob Stoops, my candidate has the courage to face the toughest competition and never flinch. Each time the bar is raised, he responds with an effort that transcends even the glory of a Texas sunset, or maybe sunrise. I don't know, I hardly ever get up early enough to see the sunrise.
Some of the finest writers on this site have challenged him, but he does not flinch. He returns to his keyboard and battles on, producing metaphors that challenge the minds of his greatest critics, and leaves them in the dust of a West Texas prairie dust storm. That is, pretty dusty.
Yes, folks. I present to you the next great coach of the mighty Texas Longhorns. Bill Little.