Austin TX - One man's loss proves an entire staff's gain early this Thursday morning when Longhorn Football Coach Mack Brown announced plans to promote the entire staff to Co-Offensive Coordinator.
"The idea of only one, two, or three guys calling each play? That sort of thing scares me to death," said Brown. "Thankfully, we don't have to worry about that sort of thing anymore."
The new all coordinator concept, already nicknamed the "Co-Co System" looks to maximize the number of voices and directions the program can head in.
This development comes only days after Co-Offensive Coordinator Brian Harsin left the program for Arkansas State, opening up a spot for new Co-OC Darrell Wyatt. Mack also promoted Stacy Searels to Assistant Head Coach for the Offense, which is a totally different thing apparently. Texas originally planned to fill the open vacancy with a new running backs coach when Brown realized how much more dynamic the team would be with another Offensive Coordinator or two.
"I'm really excited about the new opportunity," said freshly reinstated Co-Co Offensive Coordinator Greg Davis. "If I have any problems I just have to walk a few doors to the right or left... or right."
Naysayers claim the revolutionary system could cause confusion on the sidelines. Not so fast claims Brown.
"We plan to install a round robin selection process that will keep everyone guessing. We've already hired Co-Co Offensive Coordinator McConaughey to help the Co-Co-Co Offensive Coordinator/Graduate Assistants organize the playcalling posters. Plus, the first play of the third quarter will be picked from one lucky fan tweet marked #TexasCoCoOffense (naturally sponsored by the University Co-Op). I dare anyone to be able to game plan around that."
Time will only tell if the new multiple facet attack will pay dividends on the field, but if the hole in Major Applewhite's wall is any indication it has already brought the coaches closer together.