San Antonio, Texas (AP) - Speaking to reporters at an Alamo Bowl press conference, University of Texas Football coach Mack Brown recounted a recent nightmare in which the coach neglected to prepare for the Longhorns' annual football game with the Oklahoma Sooners. According to Brown, his anxiety-inducing dream began with an 11th-hour realization that he had scheduled a game with Texas's archrival, but had forgotten to attend any team meetings or practices in preparation for the big game.
"In the dream, it was October and Sally and I were on a date at the State Fair," reported Coach Brown. "There I was, eating a corndog and drinking a Nehi cola, when Carl Torbush walks up, hands me a jar full of spiders, and asks if I'm ready for the game. At first I thought 'What game?' Then it dawned on me -- we had a big game with Oklahoma that day... and I forgot to study the gameplan!"
"Also, it's weird, but that corndog wasn't really a corndog," added Brown. "I called it a 'corndog,' but it was really more like a big pancake that I had to eat with tongs."
Reporters in attendance expressed surprise that Brown's subconscious mind was still dwelling on football-related anxieties well after the conclusion of the regular season. Brown noted, however, that such dreams are a regular occurrence.
"Every once in a while, I'll dream that I showed up to the football banquet wearing only my underwear," said Brown. "Other times, I dream that I'm encouraging the defense to hold on a critical third down but, no matter how hard I try, I can't make my hands clap together. They just kind of stop in mid-air."
"Isn't that totally weird?" asked Brown. "Clapping is something I do all the time. I know I can clap. Why would I dream that I couldn't?"
Brown admitted that the thought of showing up to the Cotton Bowl completely unprepared to face his team's archrival is unsettling, but reported that he quickly dispelled the unlikely notion upon waking.
"When I woke up, I was in a panic about not being ready for OU," recalled Brown. "Then I took a deep breath and reminded myself that it was just a dream."
"I mean, can you imagine what a nightmare it would be if we actually showed up to the OU game unprepared?"