What an exhilirating win!!!
There is nothing more purely pure to college football than the pride that swells your chest with proud pride at watching the lads wear the colors of your school and do proud football things that make you proud. Siss boom bah!!
It's nights like Thursday that make us all fall in love with college football. It's like falling all over again.
I'm sure, if you're like me, all you really want to do at this point is just give our Fearful Leader a big old pig-sloppin' hug.
A Deloss Dodds Double-D Breast-Engulfing, Back-Devouring Special. A Brokemack Mountin'.
They say Jesus was betrayed with a kiss. A hug should be good enough for the Mackroach, who just keeps finding ways to survive. Maybe a nuclear blast next weekend will do the trick.
But be careful, Mack. Hugs aren't always what they seem. Your boss was recently heard bumping this jam in his Bellmont office. Et tu, UT us?..
Hi, this is [Mack], should I come over later?
I'm sorry, I don't know a [Mack].
Well that's not what you said last night when you hugged me!
Ha! You think we're an item just because I hugged you? Trick, you better think again.
We. Are not. Gentlemen.
Yo. I'll hug a [coach] like it don't mean nothin'
Then turn around and start huggin' her cousin
I don't love 'em, end of the fuckin' discussion
Got 'em tucked between my wings like Thanksgiving stuffing
She wanna hug from behind--I did it
Then her friend jump in--I'm wit' it
I hug 'em tighter than a tube-top
After that, it's just a matter of time
Before the other shoe drop
I get more hugs than Oprah selling drugs
And the drug was pure X
No marriage, no sex
Don't get mad, [Coach]
We get mad girls
And we're huggin' all over the world
So don't catch feelings, it ain't love
We're just the kings of giving out hugs
And if you wanna settle down, you know you got us all wrong
So we onto the next one, no disrespect hon'
But you can't hug a rolling stone
You can't hug a rolling stone 'cause it'll crush you
Begging me to hug you again, that's when I shush you
On an airplane, at a Knick game
Feel the same damn thing when I hug them
Which is nothing
Can't trust them, lose all respect when I hug them
Now guess who's back in the motherfuckin' house
With a fat hug for your sweater and your blouse
Hugged so many [coaches], arms shaky and shit
'Cause I'm the Wilt Chamberlain of the upper-body grip
Because I get more hugs than a batch of puppy pugs
Sittin' on a fluffy rug, gettin' tickle touched and rubbed
Real talk, like you chattin' with a fisherman
Wrap these [coaches] up like a motherfuckin' swisher, man
This ain't love [coach], because this hug world
Is just a big game of thrones
We be king of the castle, got arms like a lasso
But you can't hug a rolling stone
I been huggin' on your mama
Especially when your daddy's gone
Wearing his pajamas
I know you thinking that is wrong
I don't care what's under
I'm concentrating on her back
I just wanna hug your mama in her Subaru hatchback
Put her in a Figure-4, yes I'm a hug gigolo
Now she tells her Tupperware friends to let their sisters know...
...That I give more hugs than Atlas had shrugs
(Rest your head on my shoulder)
While your man mean-mugs
We had fun [coach], but don't get sprung [coach]
Just because I hugged you raw
We can do a group thing, bring Sarah and Susan
And we can have a hug-a-trois
So quit trying to own my hugs
I gave you these arms on loan
So come give me a hug
Waistline and above
When push comes to shove
You can't hug a rolling stone
For previous tracks on the Barking Carnival Mixtape 2013, please see: