Barking Carnival Mixtape 2013: The Rubble or Our Sins?

Kirby Lee-US PRESSWIRE

The Baffled King Composing "Hallelujah"

Were you Saul this weekend? Throwing so many tortured spears against so many helpless walls? Fear not. David is here with music to soothe the savage fanbeastbase.

As we ride out the last days of the reign of the Mad King, let's continue to assemble the 2013 Barking Carnival Mixtape. It'll be the sentimental keepsake you turn to after the breakup is complete, and you want to fondly look back on the good times, wondering whether we were better off together, then re-reading some of her passive aggressive emails remembering what it felt like to see some knee-braced milky QB threaten Vince Young's record.

Last week, times were good. Or Goodie. We had awesome running backs, and we had to enjoy it while we could.The Goodie Mob helped us do so.

This week? This week we run from molten lava cascading down the mountains upon us. Caution: Avert your eyes if you don't want to see the fire zone blitz to end all fire zone blitzes.


The band Bastille takes its name from the traditional French day of independence. That day when the fortress/prison was stormed, and the minions threw their cookies back in the fat, smug faces of their decrepit, demented, delusional, disinterested dictators. That had a lot of Ds. You know who did not have a lot of D?

MANNY DIAZ:
I was left to my own devices
Many days
[Manny days?] fell away with nothing to show
And the walls kept tumbling down
The city that we loved

PROVO WEATHERMAN ON SATURDAY NIGHT:
Great clouds roll over the hills bringing darkness from above

EVERY TEXAS FAN IN TARNATION SATURDAY NIGHT:
But if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like nothing changed at all?
And if you close your eyes, does it almost feel like you've been here before?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
How am I gonna be an optimist about this?

In case you were absent that day in Texas History/Humanities/Geology/Historically Bad Shit 101, Pompeii was the site of the world's most infamous volcano eruption, leaving the city buried under 20 feet of ash.

Provo was the site of this weekend's most infamous Mormon eruption, leaving our Ash buried under 20 feet of malevolent Tongans.

But I come neither to praise nor bury the Man(ny). What's done is done. Adios, mofo. I hope you're merely the first coaching casualty of the UT season, and certainly not the last.

In the end, I think Manny Diaz/Mack Brown/Big XII (or Mountain West, for that matter) offenses were just a programmatic non-fit. I actually don't believe Manny to be an inept, bumbling fool. I can see him having modest successes ahead in his coaching future. But it won't be in the Big XII, and it certainly won't be trying to implement his defensive...ideas?...in the Mack Brown culture.

I will simply tip my cap, thank the man for his efforts, and get on down the road. 3rd prize is not a set of steak-knives, even though he was put here to help us. Not to fuck us up.

And since I'm feeling generous and reflective on the Manny Diaz era, here's a bonus jam for week 2. Consider it part of the Diaz Severance Package. One last, final "package" of his to go not the way he intended.

This, from the offseason Mixtape:

----

JULY

The event: Mack Brown hedges his bets by bringing in young, dynamic, up-and-coming defensive guru Greg Robinson to unleash his hot, leering, Orangedome breath on Manny _iaz's twitchy shoulders.

The dedication: I send this out to Dead Man(ny) Scheming. Watch your cornhole, Herm. (Cuban for "Bro")

Florida International's Next HC-relevant lyric (roughly translated):
I live my life, day to day.
I dance the dance of wandering defenders.
I search my inmost mind for purpose, for reason.
Finding none, I dance my dance.
I live my life, and prepare my Work History.

----

Adios, Mannito. Consider this your Week Two notice.


Seriously, do you find it hard to imagine Greg living on some California hillside, whiling away his sunset years in twin outdoor bathtubs with his wife, vigorously pumping his brain full of fun Long Horn Network roster factoids?

Viagr-eg Robinson. If the scoreboard doesn't stop swelling after four hours, call Dr. Lou.

Stiffen the D, ho! Or don't. Whatever gets Mack fired fastest. Do the right thing, Mack.

So where do we begin? In the rubble, or our sins? I have an idea, Greg:

D, Muthafucka, D!!!

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