Barking Carnival Mixtape 2013: Puzzlement

To make it all come together. That's what the puzzlement. - USA TODAY Sports

The Quick Brown Fox and the Lazy Brown Dog.

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"I don't know why we're playing inconsistent."

Punchline! End of joke.

-------

The events of Saturday night and all their meaning and significance rush by my face and head and ears like so many swarming gnats of meaning and significance. Signifi-gnats. It's hard to pick out what really matters at this point.

So many moments of failure and disappointment and controversy and rage and apathy from which to choose.

But the one that stood out the most to me, the one I think deserves to be commemorated in song on the BC 2013 Mixtape is the moment whose dissonance clanged like a spectacularly unfunny joke's dissonance clangs.

There are a number of ways to have your Mack Brown Words served to you. You can have it served to you on your Mack Brown Rewind, you can have it served to you strained through the Syntactical Coherence Collender that is Bill Little.

Lately, though, I'm preferring to have my Mack Brown Words served to me damn near raw, immediately after the football has been made most bad, right there under the hot lights and leering journalism eyes of so many Chip Browns.

You give Mack until Monday to come up with a media subterfuge gameplan, and the man will make Nick Saban blush at the creativity and force of what he comes up with. But on Saturday night, after he's just ushered out the cameras and the family, and talked to the team by themselves...that Mack tends to say things that aren't 100% bullshit. I think.

And so it was that moment Saturday night that most stuck out to me. Not Casey Football doing Casey Football things. Not the crowd booing or not booing. Not even the "Look, kids, bright lights!" distraction of DeLoss Dodds halftime LHN appearance.

"I don't know why we're playing inconsistent."

Gonna jump right over the notion that we're playing inconsistent. Gonna jump right over it like the quick Brown Fox just jumped over the Lazy Brown dogshit his team has quite consistently put out this year.

Jumping over it to get at those four words of pure, unadulterated truth that Mack just stumbled onto:

I. Don't. Know. Why.

The truth, Bill Little once said, can set you free. And I think Mack may be testing out the freedom of telling the truth. He doesn't have the faintest notion of why things are the way they are. He truly doesn't.

I believe that Mack believed coming into this season. And I believe that Mack doesn't know what this program needs to get where its fanbase would like it to get. And, in that rare moment of sincerity, he told the team. And us.

That stood out to me more than anything else about the Ole Miss game.


Check me out, I'm losing control
I wanna rock-n-roll
But everything I planned just slipped right through my hand
And I don't know why

I'm a nice guy.
I wanna take it easy, baby.
But everytime I start, my world falls apart
And I don't know why

The world is feelin' like it's passing me by
And I don't know why

The world is feelin' like it's passing me by
I'm fixin' to lose it, but I don't know why

Again and again and again and again I try
I'm fixin' to lose it, but I don't know why

Now let's crowdsource this bitch! What are you listening to to get you through the hard times? Any dedications for the leadership/stewards of this program? Breakup songs? Weightlifting ragers? Let's hear what you're hearing. What song did Saturday night remind you of?

In This Article

Teams
X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Barking Carnival

You must be a member of Barking Carnival to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Barking Carnival. You should read them.

Join Barking Carnival

You must be a member of Barking Carnival to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Barking Carnival. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9341_tracker