Big 12 Football Rewind: Week 3

1-2 and ready to dominate

You're officially on notice, Kansas. Texas is in pole position to lose the Big 12, despite the propaganda coming out of Bellmont.

It's not even worth rehashing the prior loss at this point. We're past the point of blaming losses on injuries, heavy winds, mean fans, tough out of conference schedules, or non-friends on the Internet. The trends have been set. These will not change anytime soon. Texas will lose 7-9 games this year and this is a statistical reality known to everybody except Mack Brown and Deloss Dodds. MackBrownTexasFootball's low water mark is approaching Lake Travis levels.

Next up: Kansas State -- Let the "Steal Money From Vegas" campaign begin. For some reason the sharps had Texas favored against BYU and they do once again against Kansas State by 5 points. The latter being the team that has completely owned Texas in every possible way in the last five meetings -- statistically, holistically, and colonoscopically.

That may not be a word but you know the feeling.

Come prepared for pain on Saturday. Hedge that feeling in your nether regions by betting on K. State. The curse has not been lifted and won't be anytime soon. At least profit off this reality and hedge your hangover.

OKLAHOMA

The Sooners cuntpunted Tulsa up and down the football field for 60 minutes like a good football team should. Stoops unleashed a secret weapon, the hitherto unknown arm of Blake Bell, which threw for 413 yards and 4 TDs. Of course he did. Now the Sooners have a competent QB that will dismantle the Longhorns in another 40 point drubbing. When they put in Trevor Knight out of sympathy in the 4th quarter, drop your pants and start urinating on your seat in the Cotton Bowl, assuming you were brave enough to attend. If the program is going to be run with kid gloves and training wheels, might as well acknowledge it and return the favor.

OKLAHOMA STATE

There would be not wallet-snatching backdoor cover on this day. Okie State treated Lamar like that javelin tosser from Revenge of the Nerd. The result? 59-3. Jeremy Smith housed 3 TDs from a combined 8 yards out, Josh Stewart returned a punt for a TD and the tandem of Walsh and Chelf at QB was slightly more talent than Lamar was prepared to defend. After the game, T. Boone Pickens gave each player rights to 85 different oil wells in the Eagleford shale, skirting around inconvenient NCAA rules that forbid paying players in hard cash. Commodities are the new wave and it all started with Dez's diamonds. Wouldn't Tony Brown and Jamal Adams look good wearing gold brick necklaces? WE CAN AFFORD IT. LET'S FIX THIS!

Next up: A trip to West By God Virginia. Holgo vs Gundy is always fun. Take the over.

BAYLOR

BYE

Next Up: Louisiana-Monroe. How is Baylor only favored by 28? Like Texas Tech and Oregon, keep taking the points and over until you lose. And you have a lot more to gamble with now if you sell Texas season tickets. WIN WIN.

KANSAS STATE

The Wildcats took down Umass 37-7 behind 118 yards from John Hubert and two picks from Kip Daily, one returned for six. He should double that effort this week against Texas if Case McCoy is starting. (In fact, McCoy should have his own category of prop bets in Vegas for plays that help the other team score.) K.State rushed for 326 yards and only attempted 12 passes. Snyder didn't want to give anything away that Greg Robinson(currently wandering Bellmont looking for his office) might be able to scheme around. And by scheme, I mean line up in the wrong formation, miss three tackles, and give up a first down.

Next Up: Texas -- UT may be favored by 5 but the streak will go to 6-0.

TEXAS TECH

Bottles of Guns Up, the new scent by Kliff Kingsbury, are flying off the shelves in Lubbock. It's a mix of ambergris, cigar leaf, herpes, and red bull. dedfischer swears by it and at this point I'm ready to try anything. In last week's recap, we favored Tech because TCU hasn't shown much on defense and Tech is much improved in that regard. The 20-10 Red Raiders. And Tech had to use it's second freshman QB of the season to ice it after Baker Mayfield left the game in the 4th quarter with an ankle injury. Webb Davis threw a perfect 19 yard strike to Bradley Marquez that broke a tie with 4 minutes left in the game.

Next Up:Texas State. It won't matter which QB plays, or if one ever takes the field for Tech, hammer the over 58 and lay the 27.

IOWA STATE

The 2013 Cy-Hawk Trophy won't be heading back to Ames. Greg Davis and the art of horizontalism triumphed over the Fightin Rhoadses, 27-21. Iowa rushed 60 times for 218 yards and Kirk Ferentz could not be more pleased with the 3.63 yard average because it yielded something rare for Hawkeyes fans these days, a victory. The sigh-clones made a game of it after trailing early, scoring 14 points in the 4th quarter on two TD passes from Sam Richardson to Quenton Bundrage (big German currency fan). Why didn't they do that in quarters 1-3?

Next up: A van ride to Tulsa. Check back next week to see what happened!

WEST VIRGINIA

Southern Gentleman Ford Childress made his college debut for the Mountaineers against Georgia State and it was a fine affair. The future Senator threw for 359 yards and 3 scores while UH transfer Charles Sims finally got his mountain legs, rushing for 116 yards and a TD. Not liking the results of his offense two weeks into the season, Holgo shuffled the QB depth chart and promoted the third string Childress into QB1 and of course it worked. It's Holgo. Against Georgia State.

Next Up: Okleehomer State - couches will blaze if the 'eers can git er done.

KANSAS

Always saving the best for last, Mack Brown thinks this Kansas team is poised to roll through the Big 12. We asked Kansas if they wanted to cancel the trip to Austin on Nov 2 as long as they would concede a tie in advance. Call not returnd. The Jayhawks would have loved a tie against Rice bit it wasn't on the menu for big Charlie. Charles Ross gashed the Jayhawk defense for 157 yards rushing but Rice didn't score an offensive TD until late in the 4th, which is apparently all you need to beat Kansas.

******

Week 4 Preview: The lone top 25 matchup is Arizona State at Stanford. The Sun Devils have some good things cooking, coming off a controversial win over Wiscy. The sharps love ASU + 7.

I just want David Shaw in burnt orange.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Barking Carnival

You must be a member of Barking Carnival to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Barking Carnival. You should read them.

Join Barking Carnival

You must be a member of Barking Carnival to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Barking Carnival. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9341_tracker