Barking Carnival

Roy Miller was the best henchman in the world, the Oddjob of Will Muschamp’s operation. Short, tough, and deadly, his best asset was keeping his boss from having to do any dirty work himself. Have a scotch, give an order, and sit back.

Or, rather, note. There is only one thing worth talking about, and that thing is our completely disgusting secondary.

Zach Snyder is who we thought he was.

Showed up while they were still doing the punting stuff. About 5 minutes in — and I filed this under “What am I missing?” — the players started filing into the bubble, followed by the fans.

Showed up an hour late, thinking I’d just skip all the warm ups and position drills and don’t mean anything to me. But when I got there they just ran plays for about 45 minutes. I’d never seen that before so I wonder if I missed anything useful in the first hour, and what else [...]

Unless you got your face stepped on by a third rate college player’s foot and went into a coma 10 years ago, you’ve probably noticed how nobody even bothers running a “pro style” offense anymore.

1. Find a DT
Roy Miller was a game changer. Losing game changers suck. OU will find this out if Gresham goes pro. We still have Lamaar Houston, but he’s a 3. As good as he can be in that role, we need someone who can, at the very least, clog up a double team. I [...]

and the phrase ends there, right?

Ohio State is good at everything we are bad at. It sucks that it wasn’t a media seducing blowout, and that Colt is following Brett Farve’s career path (he’s in the lose-it-for-you-no-win-it-for-you phase), but as cynical as I normally am I don’t think I could be more pleased.

Orakpo drew a hold on the second play of the game. I wept a little. Maybe we should join the Pac-10.

Spread? Sprawl? Get it? Tell your friends.

Texas plays in a league where 10 teams run spread, west coast-y offenses designed almost entirely around avoiding sacks. Texas still led the country with 44 of them.

coming up. 80% chance I will want to kill myself in the next hour so this may end up being a short effort. Not abnormal for me, right ladies?

One thing that’s always killed me about Greg Davis is that he has no idea how to use the tools he’s given.

The journey from underdog to favorite is always the same.

Texas Tech! Norman, Oklahoma! Does anyone have any cyanide!?

It’s OU/Tech.

A&M’s downfall is mystifying. Not in the sense that we don’t understand how it happened. It’s mystifying because no program with that many resources and advantages should be a bottom dweller.

Every time I do one of these I try to limit it to stray thoughts and let the game speak for itself. Every time I fail. I’ll try to keep this one under 7,000 words. Looks like it’s cold today. Go time.

It’s also Baylor week (bear attack!). Tech is more interesting to me.